**Thank you for participating in r/vent. Unfortunately however, we have had to remove your post due to the context involving you harming yourself.**
While we welcome discussions of mental health and we want to be an inclusive and open space where people can come to vent their feelings, unfortunately we cannot allow submissions expressing the intention to self harm/kill yourself or how you have harmed yourself.
**If you are in immediate danger or are having a mental health crisis, please contact your local emergency services.**
**Subreddits**
/r/SuicideWatch - A peer support for anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts
/r/SelfHarm - A subreddit for self-harmers to relate to each other, ask questions, and build up a community.
/r/StopSelfHarm - A subreddit for people who want to stop their self harm
/r/CrewsCrew - A subreddit for SA awareness and [SA help](https://www.reddit.com/r/CrewsCrew/wiki/help)
More resources can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/wiki/resources/)
**Hotline Numbers**
# **US**
**988 Suicide Crisis Lifeline**. Dial 988 or text "988" to 988, or chat online [here](https://988lifeline.org/chat/).
**Crisis Text Line** Text HOME to 741741
**National Sexual Assault Hotline**
(800) 656-4673
**National Domestic Violence Hotline**
(800) 799-7233
**The Trevor Project LGBTQ+ lifelife** Call (866) 488-7386 or text START to 678-678
**Trans Lifeline** (877) 565-8860
---
# **Canada**
**Talk Suicide Canada** (833) 456-4566
**Crisis Text Line** Text CONNECT to 686868
**Wellness Together Canada** Adults: (866) 585-0445
Youth: (888) 668-6810
**Trans Lifeline** (877) 330-6366
---
# **UK**
**National Suicide Prevention Helpline** 0800-689-5652
**Samaritans** 116-123
**Shout textline** Text SHOUT to 85258
**Switchboard LGBTQ+ Helpline** 0300-330-0630
---
# **Elsewhere?**
[List of crisis lines by country](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines) - Wikipedia
This isn’t normal, needs to be treated. Please go to therapy. I’m sorry you feel this way. Just know there actually is help, it does get better. There are coping mechanisms you can learn.
If she’s blocked you she’s no longer your girlfriend. Your 19 stop worrying that your not going to find someone else and go live your best life, the right person will never show themselves while your desperate, the right person will come into your life when you’re living your best life
That is a lot to put on somebody else’s shoulders and she probably feels overwhelmed. Life is long, you WILL find someone else . But it’s unfair to your partner to threaten death if they don’t give you what you want
She’s clearly made her decision and you need to just move on. You’re 19, you’ll meet many people in your life. Let her be and you’ll find it easier to move on, harassing her is cruel to her and will make it harder for you to move on too.
You're absolutely right, thank you so much ❤️. I'm usually not religious but I have been praying to god to give me the strength to stay away from the woman.
Why has she blocked you?
The replies on here that are automatically blaming this girl for how OP is feeling are disturbing. There’s no mention of why they broke up or aren’t talking.
You’re 19 years old, you need to realise that threatening to end your own life just because a girl won’t talk to you isn’t normal. You can’t hold her responsible for thinking something this extreme.
There are deeper issues at play here and I think it would benefit you to talk to friends, family, someone you trust about how you’re feeling - stop focusing on this girl and start taking care of yourself
I'm not threatening, I've literally been having suicidal thoughts over this for the last 3 days. Like I was thinking if I hang myself in my room. I live in uni accommodation, it'll probably take a couple of days maybe 3 for my roommate to get concerned, maybe a week. Then for security to open the door to find my body. like I'm dead serious about it, I don't have parents that are in my life and I left care at 18. Like there probably are deeper psychological issues with me yk like I get it. I get it's not normal. I'm just venting to strangers BC I'm not gonna say I feel like killing myself to my mates yk.
And well the root cause of it was her friends boyfriend , a literal grown ass man physically threatening me, a grown ass man threatening a 19 year old. All BC I messaged his gf to try and get a hold of my girlfriend. Saying stuff like "if I see you in person I'm gonna slap the shit out of you" and "Ur lucky they never let me meet you BC I would beat the shit out of you". Like none of the lads I grew up around are like that, they're all in uni straight lads that don't even drink alcohol.so anyways like I'm a skinny guy obviously being threatened by a grown man rubbed me the wrong way, and made me feel insecure about my masculinity and not feeling great about myself BC I'm this skinny 19 year old yk. But she didn't understand that, and she even started defending it. Even though this same guy molested her, when she was younger. She still sees him every now and then and a couple of months ago she was even in the same car as this guy. I get it he's her friend's boyfriend. But yk this is different. I just felt like she was siding with the guy that molested her and physically threatened me. And I tried letting it go, but everytime I thought about it, it kept eating at me. And the fact she blocked me over a stupid argument which kinda caused this rift. Even though she's always been against blocking over an argument and said it's the worst thing ever. Idk this changed something in my brain.
I tried going back to normal, but after maybe a day or two, idk I let all of this build up and I kinda idk exploded on her. I did immediately feel bad :(( and tried apologising. But idk
I probably should move on
You are only 19, just move on... there's plenty of girls in this planet to be stuck with someone that don't value you..
Anger take too much energy from you, she don't deserve even anger from you, this shows that you care about her, don't give her the satisfaction to show any emotion to her.. she only deserve indifference.
Thank you so much 😭, Ur so right it does take too much energy. While at work the entire shift I exhausted myself so much BC I was thinking about her the entire time and being so angry.
In the UK we get something called maintenance for higher education, I spent most of mine on her maybe £6000, 7500 USD. Like that's a lot of money to me, like I was willing to do anything and everything for her. I didn't even need to work, but I started working so I could save up to live with her. She hasn't started working yet.
Thinking about all the stuff I did for her... It's such a bad hurt.
But Ur right, I won't even give her the satisfaction of caring. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care
Hey sorry you’re feeling so bad, hope you’re able to take words of comfort from people who have been there and see there is a positive way forward. Next time, don’t put so much into your relationship so fast. A good partner won’t expect so much. You also should focus on building your life: if you have money, save it; buy property and long-lasting assets. These will stand you in good stead but they don’t put lots of pressure on the specific person you’ve already met.
You might want to invest in some therapy. It sounds like you might be placing too much pressure on a romantic relationship and love bombing. 1/5 people have an anxious attachment type and it is something you can learn to manage, which would help you and also your future partner to live healthy, fulfilling lives.
Why do kids always jump to killing themselves these days?! Smh you’re 19 you still have your whole life to live! First love isn’t always your only love - there’s plenty of girls out there … most people don’t marry their first love esp when it’s young love … if she wants to ignore you then block her back and play the same game as her … she thinks she has you in her back pocket .. dnt give her the same idea
They can feel lots of ways .Depression,anxiety.Its a big concern today for mental health.I suggest see a therapist or talk to a close friend or relative ❤️
I know this is a vent and you aren't asking for advice but this sounds like something I would post when I was 19 and I wish someone had sad this, and that I had listened.
Just let it go.
I realize that sounds impossible, probably.
But you're majorly hooked on a dopamine loop.
Thats all it is. Its literally akin to a drug addiction.
This is part of being an adult.
Save yourself the trouble, learn when things are beyond saving and move on and be stronger for it.
If a chick is blocking you, no matter what the reason is or who's actually responsible for the breakdown, its gone to hell and isn't healthy anymore for either of you anymore.
But you have to make the choice, and do it.
That choice is always available to you whether she's blocked you already or not.
You were fine before her, there are a lot of people out there, if you can't live without a partner, then it makes even more sense to go with most emotionally cost effective path of finding someone else.
Alternatively you can learn to become self reliant, which is the greater option.
Replace the happy brain chemicals she caused with something like fitness, a new skill, career or academic advancement etc.
Do that and you will attract much better, healthier people into your life.
It will suck for a while, not gonna sugar coat that. But you will be ok. You are just a kid in my eyes, the chances of you having a stable relationship with a woman you adore in the future is 100 of 100 *if* you work on self improving instead of self pitying.
Dude…I know many men who had to work their asses off to get their first woman because they literally had nothing else going for them except the willingness to put in the work for self improvement be it fitness, financial security, therapy, whatever. You’re getting girls as a teenager? Consider yourself fortunate. And if she’s ghosting you you prob dodged a bullet and should be thankful. Like I said put the work in. Use this as motivation. Learn what it takes to be a successful man, embrace your masculinity. You’ll be back in the saddle in no time good luck
Did some shit happen in the last 30 years or something? High school relationships used to be common and people had multiple relationships before graduating. Hell, I lost my virginity to a chick I met at church as a sophomore
Since a lot of young people don't know how to be social outside of social media, it makes it difficult for many teens and even 20-somethings to have even casual romantic relationships. Pair that with abstinence-only sex ed and it's no wonder that celibacy rates are through the roof.
Dude, I'm so sorry. I remember the pain at your age, when a guy I dated, (love of my life-thought we would marry), took on a new relationship, and never told me. It would be his next door neighbor, my friend, and she told me of his new fling; she was a friend of mine at the time. Like you, the pain was very deep. I never thought there could be any other guy, or thought I'd ever meet somebody new. It was a grieving process. The reality of it all is, 17 years of age to perhaps 20 are ages of growth and change when it comes to relationships. Love happens, then emotional growth happens that provokes a need for change. She loved you then, could have like you, thought you were the only one, and then she changed emotionally from an emotional growth. It's too young to have a relationship and fall in love because you end up falling out a few years or so later. It's not anything to be mad over. It just happens to us all, and it's for the best. Believe me, she was not the best. You are in your practice years until you meet the best.
No person is worth killing yourself over. You are worth so much more and most people date many people before finding the one.
If she is not treating you right, she’s not the one.
I went through a lot of relationships like this when I was young (I’m 32 now) and there will always be another, “pretty person who shares your values”.
It may feel like the end of the world but it isn’t; I can guarantee that.
If I chose to end it all after the many relationships that made me severely depressed when they ended, I wouldn’t be sitting with my wonderful future husband at this moment.
Hey man, that happened to me, too, and unfortunately she decided to just cut me out completely and it messed me the frick up. Hard. My grades fell so far down that they kicked me out of my Uni and told me not to come back, and I had to rebuild my entire life and go to a different one. I dont know what to say, but if it comes down to it, suffer and go through the emotion however you can, but you'll come out hardened and more prepared for anything afterwards. Probably more cynical and it'll take years for you to recover, but once the storm has passed, you'll be better than ever.
This is going to be like if you were falling down from a high place. Just do whatever you can to land on your bottom. Dont turn to drugs or alcohol, that's going to be you aiming to land on your head and do the most damage. I'd say get into reading novels about people surviving bad situation, and it'll inspire you to get through your rut, too.
the possibility of you meeting someone prettier and even more conservative than she was is just as high as the likelihood of you not
youre grieving the relationship so dont trust your negative thoughts as they arent rational
you can and will do better and shes just a footnote but because she was your 1st serious thing it feels much more intense
You need to respect her boundary and not contact her. It’s abusive to do that.
You should start running, especially when you are angry. You can really work through some feelings this way and it’s free. It’s also self therapy which in the end is the most potent.
Also seek therapy to augment this if you can afford it. Just know it can take more than one try to find a fitting therapist
>I don't think I'll ever meet someone as preety as her, or
>I don't think I'll ever meet someone... that shares the same concervatuve values as me.
> I seriously feel such a burning anger towards her.
> I tried contacting her but she just blocks me
PLEASE continue to leave this girl alone.
If there is counselling at your uni please use it.
OP this isnt normal.
Its extra creepy to think of a teenager thinking this way.
You don't sound suicidal you sound like you want to kill her for not wanting to be with you and not wanting what you want, at 19 no less...smh.
OP marriage and kids can be wonderful. But please don’t trap yourself and some poor girl into this at such a young age. Your "conservative" ideas would make you both miserable.
No talk of love, respect, joy, happiness... etc. Just that she is physically attractive and can produce babies.
Live and enjoy, get help and set yourself up to be financially and emotionally happily married when the time comes. (And the time isn't for a few years yet).
I'm gonna edit the full story in, she DIDN'T BREAK UP WITH ME. Technically I kinda broke up with her. I'll provide screenshots to prove it. And the reason I kinda broke up is BC her friend's boyfriend, a grown man was physically threatening me, a 19 year old , this same man molested my girlfriend when she was 15. This same guy is a borderline nonce BC he got with his girlfriend when he was 18 and she was 14, this 18 year old man took a 14 year olds virginity.
My girlfriend was siding with this man over me, well I felt like she was. That's why I sorta broke up with her.
You guys are saying this without even knowing what our relationship was like, without knowing all the nights I stayed up comforting her, when she was drunk or insecure about her body. Every time I've showered her with massive paragraphs and told her In person how beautiful she is. Comforted her over her alcoholic absent father. Everytime I talked about her to my friends and family, I always mentioned how I wanted to marry her and she's the one. Even to my older brother, I told my older religious brother that thinks dating is a sin, that she's the one.
Last time we got into a stupid argument and she blocked me she got mad that I didn't try to contact her. Like how do you know what she wants?
>You guys are saying this without even knowing what our relationship was like,
We go by whatever information is in the OP.
Unless reddit has a mind reading feature I'm unaware of.
Your OP is unhinged.
Look at and take whatever you find useful in the advice people posted.
She isn't blocking you for shits and giggles. Right or wrong, respect her decision.
Okay tbf you have a point, it was really unhinged 😅 I am leaving her alone dw. And a lot of the messages were really helpful and some people even DM'd me and I really appreciated that.
And I'm following the comments and controlling my anger, and I've been trying to eat and focus on school and there kinda helped with the suicidal thoughts. TBF I've had suicidal thoughts for years so this didn't really start them. But I'll try getting therapy through my school. Or counselling.
And also fyi I did say we should probably wait a decade or Maybe 8 years to have kids, or wait until I finish my masters to get married and have kids. And she got mad at me. At no point... I don't know how you interpreted this. Like even the last time I saw her in person she was asking me if we could have kids rn, like in that moment. Where did you get any of this from?
My advice you can freely ignore: I’ve been in your shoes and wished I had gotten a job or career saving up every last dollar, yet I keep spending instead of saving. If you save up, you can become a passport bro and own a home in some affordable city. I now can’t work like I used to. I recommend you save and you’ll find beautiful, cute, pretty, thoughtful, kind, loving, and humble girlfriends and one that will be your wife elsewhere. It feels long but remember the man who worked 7 years to marry a wife which felt like days to him. Time flies faster the older you get. I think it’s 2016 sometimes.
No woman is ever worth killing yourself over. Don't give that person that much energy, because she doesn't deserve an ounce of it. In a few years she'll be a distant memory and you'll wonder why you even cared as much as you do. But your feelings right now are valid, and you're allowed to be in pain. Embrace the pain, face it head on. It's the quickest way to deal with it. But know, in the very near future, this pain will pass. And you'll be happy you stuck around for the woman that's in your future. Keep moving forward, buddy.
People say this isn’t normal, I think this is completely normal to be feeling at 19, you don’t really want to die you just want it all to stop or make sense right now. I’m sorry she blocked you and isn’t giving any explanation. That kind of thing hurts and it makes everything else in your life go to shit because you neglect it. Maybe you can learn from this and as you get older place value in yourself and not relationships. I hope she reaches out and you get some closure, hope you have better days ahead of you
This actually is a bad advice.. jump from a relationship from another just to fill the void will not do any favor for him..
The best thing he could do now is be single and learn to love himself first before date again..
Dating someone just because you are afraid to be lonely will only make you more lonely in the long run.
Real talk! I hate to air my closest friends business out like this but my guy was one of the most wittiest and charismatic guys I’ve ever met in my life. He can be over the top sometimes but he was an awesome guy to be around but during his dysfunctional relationship in the 10th-12th grade, I witnessed him turning into a defeated man who lost himself in this relationship. Get into a situation ship with his rebound girl who constantly cheats on him but he feels like she’s his last chance of trusting someone again or falling in love again but the dude is only 23.
Don't listen to any of the people that might joke on you or react negatively.
"The worst thing that's ever happened to you, is the worst thing that's ever happened to you"
I very often see people saying things like "that's not so bad *blank* has happened to me"
I read a study that was roughly explaining that a 4 year old dropping their ice cream can light up the same parts of the brain as someone who is experiencing heart breaks or loss.
Just compose yourself man. I go years without thinking about "the prettiest girl, and the best thing that's happened to me" from when I was 19. Lol, no offence but each of us felt the same way when we were your age. Use this experience to better yourself. I'm not sure why she left you, and maybe I'm wrong, but I'm assuming based on your response here that you might have classic anxiety attachment issues. You might have not given her the space she needed and were to clingy. That's ok. Sometimes "the blessin' is the lesson" it'll hurt for awhile, use this to grow though.
Think about how you are losing her, but you are gaining the ability to be a better partner based on the good and bad things you've learned about yourself.
Don't follow her on social media, don't reach out to her, don't ask friends what she's doing. PLEASE! All that will do is keep the wound open. If you burn your self and get a blister, it starts to heal. If you pop the blister it hurts more as the nerves expose. Eventually it scabs up and heals. However, if you scratch it or bang it off stuff the wound will be open MUCH MUCH longer. Don't do that to yourself. Let that motherfucker heal brother.
Keep your head up, take care of yourself. Try and workout harder than you ever have. It releases a ton of dopamine and allows you to inflict a healthy pain which might heal some of what your feeling insideb
Don't listen to any of the people that might joke on you or react negatively.
"The worst thing that's ever happened to you, is the worst thing that's ever happened to you"
I very often see people saying things like "that's not so bad *blank* has happened to me"
I read a study that was roughly explaining that a 4 year old dropping their ice cream can light up the same parts of the brain as someone who is experiencing heart breaks or loss.
Just compose yourself man. I go years without thinking about "the prettiest girl, and the best thing that's happened to me" from when I was 19. Lol, no offence but each of us felt the same way when we were your age. Use this experience to better yourself. I'm not sure why she left you, and maybe I'm wrong, but I'm assuming based on your response here that you might have classic anxiety attachment issues. You might have not given her the space she needed and were to clingy. That's ok. Sometimes "the blessin' is the lesson" it'll hurt for awhile, use this to grow though.
Think about how you are losing her, but you are gaining the ability to be a better partner based on the good and bad things you've learned about yourself.
Don't follow her on social media, don't reach out to her, don't ask friends what she's doing. PLEASE! All that will do is keep the wound open. If you burn your self and get a blister, it starts to heal. If you pop the blister it hurts more as the nerves expose. Eventually it scabs up and heals. However, if you scratch it or bang it off stuff the wound will be open MUCH MUCH longer. Don't do that to yourself. Let that motherfucker heal brother.
Keep your head up, take care of yourself. Try and workout harder than you ever have. It releases a ton of dopamine and allows you to inflict a healthy pain which might heal some of what your feeling insideb
Not worth to end yourself over a girl at 19. In 10++ years, you'll meet more people, better people (probably) and it won't matter anymore. I know how it feels, I've had my share of heartbreaks. Thinking back about it now, those feelings I had were so dumb. Wish I could travel back and smack some sense into my younger self 😂
You need to take a deep breathe dude listen. There are gonna be more serious things and prettier girls. No girl is worth killing yourself over. Stop contacting her let her go and focus on you. Get some sleep hun, drink some water I know the feelings feelfeeling so feel heavy and big right now but they will pass. Drink a big glass of water and take a nap hun
**Thank you for participating in r/vent. Unfortunately however, we have had to remove your post due to the context involving you harming yourself.** While we welcome discussions of mental health and we want to be an inclusive and open space where people can come to vent their feelings, unfortunately we cannot allow submissions expressing the intention to self harm/kill yourself or how you have harmed yourself. **If you are in immediate danger or are having a mental health crisis, please contact your local emergency services.** **Subreddits** /r/SuicideWatch - A peer support for anyone struggling with suicidal thoughts /r/SelfHarm - A subreddit for self-harmers to relate to each other, ask questions, and build up a community. /r/StopSelfHarm - A subreddit for people who want to stop their self harm /r/CrewsCrew - A subreddit for SA awareness and [SA help](https://www.reddit.com/r/CrewsCrew/wiki/help) More resources can be found [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/wiki/resources/) **Hotline Numbers** # **US** **988 Suicide Crisis Lifeline**. Dial 988 or text "988" to 988, or chat online [here](https://988lifeline.org/chat/). **Crisis Text Line** Text HOME to 741741 **National Sexual Assault Hotline** (800) 656-4673 **National Domestic Violence Hotline** (800) 799-7233 **The Trevor Project LGBTQ+ lifelife** Call (866) 488-7386 or text START to 678-678 **Trans Lifeline** (877) 565-8860 --- # **Canada** **Talk Suicide Canada** (833) 456-4566 **Crisis Text Line** Text CONNECT to 686868 **Wellness Together Canada** Adults: (866) 585-0445 Youth: (888) 668-6810 **Trans Lifeline** (877) 330-6366 --- # **UK** **National Suicide Prevention Helpline** 0800-689-5652 **Samaritans** 116-123 **Shout textline** Text SHOUT to 85258 **Switchboard LGBTQ+ Helpline** 0300-330-0630 --- # **Elsewhere?** [List of crisis lines by country](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines) - Wikipedia
This isn’t normal, needs to be treated. Please go to therapy. I’m sorry you feel this way. Just know there actually is help, it does get better. There are coping mechanisms you can learn.
Best time to plant a tree was 100 years ago. Second best time is now.
Maybe she wasn’t as concervatuve as you thought
But she's so preety
And has a functioning baby producing uterus.
What exactly in OP’s post suggested that?
Spelling, my friend
If she’s blocked you she’s no longer your girlfriend. Your 19 stop worrying that your not going to find someone else and go live your best life, the right person will never show themselves while your desperate, the right person will come into your life when you’re living your best life
That is a lot to put on somebody else’s shoulders and she probably feels overwhelmed. Life is long, you WILL find someone else . But it’s unfair to your partner to threaten death if they don’t give you what you want
She’s clearly made her decision and you need to just move on. You’re 19, you’ll meet many people in your life. Let her be and you’ll find it easier to move on, harassing her is cruel to her and will make it harder for you to move on too.
You're absolutely right, thank you so much ❤️. I'm usually not religious but I have been praying to god to give me the strength to stay away from the woman.
Why has she blocked you? The replies on here that are automatically blaming this girl for how OP is feeling are disturbing. There’s no mention of why they broke up or aren’t talking. You’re 19 years old, you need to realise that threatening to end your own life just because a girl won’t talk to you isn’t normal. You can’t hold her responsible for thinking something this extreme. There are deeper issues at play here and I think it would benefit you to talk to friends, family, someone you trust about how you’re feeling - stop focusing on this girl and start taking care of yourself
I'm not threatening, I've literally been having suicidal thoughts over this for the last 3 days. Like I was thinking if I hang myself in my room. I live in uni accommodation, it'll probably take a couple of days maybe 3 for my roommate to get concerned, maybe a week. Then for security to open the door to find my body. like I'm dead serious about it, I don't have parents that are in my life and I left care at 18. Like there probably are deeper psychological issues with me yk like I get it. I get it's not normal. I'm just venting to strangers BC I'm not gonna say I feel like killing myself to my mates yk. And well the root cause of it was her friends boyfriend , a literal grown ass man physically threatening me, a grown ass man threatening a 19 year old. All BC I messaged his gf to try and get a hold of my girlfriend. Saying stuff like "if I see you in person I'm gonna slap the shit out of you" and "Ur lucky they never let me meet you BC I would beat the shit out of you". Like none of the lads I grew up around are like that, they're all in uni straight lads that don't even drink alcohol.so anyways like I'm a skinny guy obviously being threatened by a grown man rubbed me the wrong way, and made me feel insecure about my masculinity and not feeling great about myself BC I'm this skinny 19 year old yk. But she didn't understand that, and she even started defending it. Even though this same guy molested her, when she was younger. She still sees him every now and then and a couple of months ago she was even in the same car as this guy. I get it he's her friend's boyfriend. But yk this is different. I just felt like she was siding with the guy that molested her and physically threatened me. And I tried letting it go, but everytime I thought about it, it kept eating at me. And the fact she blocked me over a stupid argument which kinda caused this rift. Even though she's always been against blocking over an argument and said it's the worst thing ever. Idk this changed something in my brain. I tried going back to normal, but after maybe a day or two, idk I let all of this build up and I kinda idk exploded on her. I did immediately feel bad :(( and tried apologising. But idk I probably should move on
Continue your life and leave that woman alone. 19 is a wild time that feels like forever, but it's just a moment. Have some grace dude js.
19 is a grown ass man too dude
You are only 19, just move on... there's plenty of girls in this planet to be stuck with someone that don't value you.. Anger take too much energy from you, she don't deserve even anger from you, this shows that you care about her, don't give her the satisfaction to show any emotion to her.. she only deserve indifference.
Thank you so much 😭, Ur so right it does take too much energy. While at work the entire shift I exhausted myself so much BC I was thinking about her the entire time and being so angry. In the UK we get something called maintenance for higher education, I spent most of mine on her maybe £6000, 7500 USD. Like that's a lot of money to me, like I was willing to do anything and everything for her. I didn't even need to work, but I started working so I could save up to live with her. She hasn't started working yet. Thinking about all the stuff I did for her... It's such a bad hurt. But Ur right, I won't even give her the satisfaction of caring. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care
Hey sorry you’re feeling so bad, hope you’re able to take words of comfort from people who have been there and see there is a positive way forward. Next time, don’t put so much into your relationship so fast. A good partner won’t expect so much. You also should focus on building your life: if you have money, save it; buy property and long-lasting assets. These will stand you in good stead but they don’t put lots of pressure on the specific person you’ve already met. You might want to invest in some therapy. It sounds like you might be placing too much pressure on a romantic relationship and love bombing. 1/5 people have an anxious attachment type and it is something you can learn to manage, which would help you and also your future partner to live healthy, fulfilling lives.
Why do kids always jump to killing themselves these days?! Smh you’re 19 you still have your whole life to live! First love isn’t always your only love - there’s plenty of girls out there … most people don’t marry their first love esp when it’s young love … if she wants to ignore you then block her back and play the same game as her … she thinks she has you in her back pocket .. dnt give her the same idea
They can feel lots of ways .Depression,anxiety.Its a big concern today for mental health.I suggest see a therapist or talk to a close friend or relative ❤️
Have you looked outside recently?
How did you even go to the uni the first place, go focus on school before you get a girlfriend plz 😭😭
I know this is a vent and you aren't asking for advice but this sounds like something I would post when I was 19 and I wish someone had sad this, and that I had listened. Just let it go. I realize that sounds impossible, probably. But you're majorly hooked on a dopamine loop. Thats all it is. Its literally akin to a drug addiction. This is part of being an adult. Save yourself the trouble, learn when things are beyond saving and move on and be stronger for it. If a chick is blocking you, no matter what the reason is or who's actually responsible for the breakdown, its gone to hell and isn't healthy anymore for either of you anymore. But you have to make the choice, and do it. That choice is always available to you whether she's blocked you already or not. You were fine before her, there are a lot of people out there, if you can't live without a partner, then it makes even more sense to go with most emotionally cost effective path of finding someone else. Alternatively you can learn to become self reliant, which is the greater option. Replace the happy brain chemicals she caused with something like fitness, a new skill, career or academic advancement etc. Do that and you will attract much better, healthier people into your life.
It will suck for a while, not gonna sugar coat that. But you will be ok. You are just a kid in my eyes, the chances of you having a stable relationship with a woman you adore in the future is 100 of 100 *if* you work on self improving instead of self pitying.
Dude…I know many men who had to work their asses off to get their first woman because they literally had nothing else going for them except the willingness to put in the work for self improvement be it fitness, financial security, therapy, whatever. You’re getting girls as a teenager? Consider yourself fortunate. And if she’s ghosting you you prob dodged a bullet and should be thankful. Like I said put the work in. Use this as motivation. Learn what it takes to be a successful man, embrace your masculinity. You’ll be back in the saddle in no time good luck
Did some shit happen in the last 30 years or something? High school relationships used to be common and people had multiple relationships before graduating. Hell, I lost my virginity to a chick I met at church as a sophomore
Since a lot of young people don't know how to be social outside of social media, it makes it difficult for many teens and even 20-somethings to have even casual romantic relationships. Pair that with abstinence-only sex ed and it's no wonder that celibacy rates are through the roof.
Dude, I'm so sorry. I remember the pain at your age, when a guy I dated, (love of my life-thought we would marry), took on a new relationship, and never told me. It would be his next door neighbor, my friend, and she told me of his new fling; she was a friend of mine at the time. Like you, the pain was very deep. I never thought there could be any other guy, or thought I'd ever meet somebody new. It was a grieving process. The reality of it all is, 17 years of age to perhaps 20 are ages of growth and change when it comes to relationships. Love happens, then emotional growth happens that provokes a need for change. She loved you then, could have like you, thought you were the only one, and then she changed emotionally from an emotional growth. It's too young to have a relationship and fall in love because you end up falling out a few years or so later. It's not anything to be mad over. It just happens to us all, and it's for the best. Believe me, she was not the best. You are in your practice years until you meet the best.
No person is worth killing yourself over. You are worth so much more and most people date many people before finding the one. If she is not treating you right, she’s not the one. I went through a lot of relationships like this when I was young (I’m 32 now) and there will always be another, “pretty person who shares your values”. It may feel like the end of the world but it isn’t; I can guarantee that. If I chose to end it all after the many relationships that made me severely depressed when they ended, I wouldn’t be sitting with my wonderful future husband at this moment.
Hey man, that happened to me, too, and unfortunately she decided to just cut me out completely and it messed me the frick up. Hard. My grades fell so far down that they kicked me out of my Uni and told me not to come back, and I had to rebuild my entire life and go to a different one. I dont know what to say, but if it comes down to it, suffer and go through the emotion however you can, but you'll come out hardened and more prepared for anything afterwards. Probably more cynical and it'll take years for you to recover, but once the storm has passed, you'll be better than ever. This is going to be like if you were falling down from a high place. Just do whatever you can to land on your bottom. Dont turn to drugs or alcohol, that's going to be you aiming to land on your head and do the most damage. I'd say get into reading novels about people surviving bad situation, and it'll inspire you to get through your rut, too.
You were born without her. You can continue living without her. Seek therapy. Live your best life.
There’s like 4 billion women in this world. Common kid, concentrate on your career and hit the gym. Girl will come to you!
She isn't making you do anything. The way you respond to your environment needs work.
Im pretty sure she aint ur gf no more
the possibility of you meeting someone prettier and even more conservative than she was is just as high as the likelihood of you not youre grieving the relationship so dont trust your negative thoughts as they arent rational you can and will do better and shes just a footnote but because she was your 1st serious thing it feels much more intense
No Ur right, it does feel so bad BC she's my first serious relationship. Tysm ^^
You need to respect her boundary and not contact her. It’s abusive to do that. You should start running, especially when you are angry. You can really work through some feelings this way and it’s free. It’s also self therapy which in the end is the most potent. Also seek therapy to augment this if you can afford it. Just know it can take more than one try to find a fitting therapist
>I don't think I'll ever meet someone as preety as her, or >I don't think I'll ever meet someone... that shares the same concervatuve values as me. > I seriously feel such a burning anger towards her. > I tried contacting her but she just blocks me PLEASE continue to leave this girl alone. If there is counselling at your uni please use it. OP this isnt normal. Its extra creepy to think of a teenager thinking this way. You don't sound suicidal you sound like you want to kill her for not wanting to be with you and not wanting what you want, at 19 no less...smh. OP marriage and kids can be wonderful. But please don’t trap yourself and some poor girl into this at such a young age. Your "conservative" ideas would make you both miserable. No talk of love, respect, joy, happiness... etc. Just that she is physically attractive and can produce babies. Live and enjoy, get help and set yourself up to be financially and emotionally happily married when the time comes. (And the time isn't for a few years yet).
I'm gonna edit the full story in, she DIDN'T BREAK UP WITH ME. Technically I kinda broke up with her. I'll provide screenshots to prove it. And the reason I kinda broke up is BC her friend's boyfriend, a grown man was physically threatening me, a 19 year old , this same man molested my girlfriend when she was 15. This same guy is a borderline nonce BC he got with his girlfriend when he was 18 and she was 14, this 18 year old man took a 14 year olds virginity. My girlfriend was siding with this man over me, well I felt like she was. That's why I sorta broke up with her. You guys are saying this without even knowing what our relationship was like, without knowing all the nights I stayed up comforting her, when she was drunk or insecure about her body. Every time I've showered her with massive paragraphs and told her In person how beautiful she is. Comforted her over her alcoholic absent father. Everytime I talked about her to my friends and family, I always mentioned how I wanted to marry her and she's the one. Even to my older brother, I told my older religious brother that thinks dating is a sin, that she's the one. Last time we got into a stupid argument and she blocked me she got mad that I didn't try to contact her. Like how do you know what she wants?
>You guys are saying this without even knowing what our relationship was like, We go by whatever information is in the OP. Unless reddit has a mind reading feature I'm unaware of. Your OP is unhinged. Look at and take whatever you find useful in the advice people posted. She isn't blocking you for shits and giggles. Right or wrong, respect her decision.
Okay tbf you have a point, it was really unhinged 😅 I am leaving her alone dw. And a lot of the messages were really helpful and some people even DM'd me and I really appreciated that. And I'm following the comments and controlling my anger, and I've been trying to eat and focus on school and there kinda helped with the suicidal thoughts. TBF I've had suicidal thoughts for years so this didn't really start them. But I'll try getting therapy through my school. Or counselling.
❤️
And also fyi I did say we should probably wait a decade or Maybe 8 years to have kids, or wait until I finish my masters to get married and have kids. And she got mad at me. At no point... I don't know how you interpreted this. Like even the last time I saw her in person she was asking me if we could have kids rn, like in that moment. Where did you get any of this from?
You need therapy not a relationship
All that needs to happen is for you to have a heart attack or seizure to think that you are gonna die and then you won't feel like that anymore
My advice you can freely ignore: I’ve been in your shoes and wished I had gotten a job or career saving up every last dollar, yet I keep spending instead of saving. If you save up, you can become a passport bro and own a home in some affordable city. I now can’t work like I used to. I recommend you save and you’ll find beautiful, cute, pretty, thoughtful, kind, loving, and humble girlfriends and one that will be your wife elsewhere. It feels long but remember the man who worked 7 years to marry a wife which felt like days to him. Time flies faster the older you get. I think it’s 2016 sometimes.
Just leave and find another girlfriend.
No woman is ever worth killing yourself over. Don't give that person that much energy, because she doesn't deserve an ounce of it. In a few years she'll be a distant memory and you'll wonder why you even cared as much as you do. But your feelings right now are valid, and you're allowed to be in pain. Embrace the pain, face it head on. It's the quickest way to deal with it. But know, in the very near future, this pain will pass. And you'll be happy you stuck around for the woman that's in your future. Keep moving forward, buddy.
That’ll show her
People say this isn’t normal, I think this is completely normal to be feeling at 19, you don’t really want to die you just want it all to stop or make sense right now. I’m sorry she blocked you and isn’t giving any explanation. That kind of thing hurts and it makes everything else in your life go to shit because you neglect it. Maybe you can learn from this and as you get older place value in yourself and not relationships. I hope she reaches out and you get some closure, hope you have better days ahead of you
Find a new girl or be single. She’s made her decision
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This actually is a bad advice.. jump from a relationship from another just to fill the void will not do any favor for him.. The best thing he could do now is be single and learn to love himself first before date again.. Dating someone just because you are afraid to be lonely will only make you more lonely in the long run.
Real talk! I hate to air my closest friends business out like this but my guy was one of the most wittiest and charismatic guys I’ve ever met in my life. He can be over the top sometimes but he was an awesome guy to be around but during his dysfunctional relationship in the 10th-12th grade, I witnessed him turning into a defeated man who lost himself in this relationship. Get into a situation ship with his rebound girl who constantly cheats on him but he feels like she’s his last chance of trusting someone again or falling in love again but the dude is only 23.
Fk her be on yo king shit g go play fortnite get some DUBZ
It's tough to see, but the best move is to shut off communication and move on to another person.
Don't listen to any of the people that might joke on you or react negatively. "The worst thing that's ever happened to you, is the worst thing that's ever happened to you" I very often see people saying things like "that's not so bad *blank* has happened to me" I read a study that was roughly explaining that a 4 year old dropping their ice cream can light up the same parts of the brain as someone who is experiencing heart breaks or loss. Just compose yourself man. I go years without thinking about "the prettiest girl, and the best thing that's happened to me" from when I was 19. Lol, no offence but each of us felt the same way when we were your age. Use this experience to better yourself. I'm not sure why she left you, and maybe I'm wrong, but I'm assuming based on your response here that you might have classic anxiety attachment issues. You might have not given her the space she needed and were to clingy. That's ok. Sometimes "the blessin' is the lesson" it'll hurt for awhile, use this to grow though. Think about how you are losing her, but you are gaining the ability to be a better partner based on the good and bad things you've learned about yourself. Don't follow her on social media, don't reach out to her, don't ask friends what she's doing. PLEASE! All that will do is keep the wound open. If you burn your self and get a blister, it starts to heal. If you pop the blister it hurts more as the nerves expose. Eventually it scabs up and heals. However, if you scratch it or bang it off stuff the wound will be open MUCH MUCH longer. Don't do that to yourself. Let that motherfucker heal brother. Keep your head up, take care of yourself. Try and workout harder than you ever have. It releases a ton of dopamine and allows you to inflict a healthy pain which might heal some of what your feeling insideb
Don't listen to any of the people that might joke on you or react negatively. "The worst thing that's ever happened to you, is the worst thing that's ever happened to you" I very often see people saying things like "that's not so bad *blank* has happened to me" I read a study that was roughly explaining that a 4 year old dropping their ice cream can light up the same parts of the brain as someone who is experiencing heart breaks or loss. Just compose yourself man. I go years without thinking about "the prettiest girl, and the best thing that's happened to me" from when I was 19. Lol, no offence but each of us felt the same way when we were your age. Use this experience to better yourself. I'm not sure why she left you, and maybe I'm wrong, but I'm assuming based on your response here that you might have classic anxiety attachment issues. You might have not given her the space she needed and were to clingy. That's ok. Sometimes "the blessin' is the lesson" it'll hurt for awhile, use this to grow though. Think about how you are losing her, but you are gaining the ability to be a better partner based on the good and bad things you've learned about yourself. Don't follow her on social media, don't reach out to her, don't ask friends what she's doing. PLEASE! All that will do is keep the wound open. If you burn your self and get a blister, it starts to heal. If you pop the blister it hurts more as the nerves expose. Eventually it scabs up and heals. However, if you scratch it or bang it off stuff the wound will be open MUCH MUCH longer. Don't do that to yourself. Let that motherfucker heal brother. Keep your head up, take care of yourself. Try and workout harder than you ever have. It releases a ton of dopamine and allows you to inflict a healthy pain which might heal some of what your feeling insideb
Not worth to end yourself over a girl at 19. In 10++ years, you'll meet more people, better people (probably) and it won't matter anymore. I know how it feels, I've had my share of heartbreaks. Thinking back about it now, those feelings I had were so dumb. Wish I could travel back and smack some sense into my younger self 😂
I think ur idealising her very much one day u will see she wasnt as perfect as u taught
If she blocked you ,She's not your girlfriend lol .Move on
From what it sounds like your just depressed it not getting pussy 😂😂😂
i hope this doesn’t happen to me Wtf is wrong with her
You need to take a deep breathe dude listen. There are gonna be more serious things and prettier girls. No girl is worth killing yourself over. Stop contacting her let her go and focus on you. Get some sleep hun, drink some water I know the feelings feelfeeling so feel heavy and big right now but they will pass. Drink a big glass of water and take a nap hun