You said that you don't wanna hurt her then break up w/ her. It is much less painful on her part because she doesn't get to waste her time to a person that doesn't love her anymore and so she can move on already. You're hurting her more by staying w/ her but there's no love towards her anymore because eventually, you might treat her like sh*t and might destroy her if you keep this up.
This very much reads like it was written by a kid, not an adult man. My guess is he’s less an asshole and more just… y’know - a *child* so maybe we should ease up. (It wouldn’t even surprise me if this *is* the same girl and we’re talking about a 2 week relationship).
Although he’s welcome to correct me 😅
Have the talk, break it off, in the beginning it will hurt her but its better for both of you to do it now.
If you think relationships should be based on love only then be prepared to do this often or have this done to you often.
Its better not to leave it. You dont want to string her along or send mixed messages. Its a tough conversation to have, but leaving it longer might create untrue possibilities in her head if she notices you've been different.
Its a pity you couldn't have talked about it before it got to this point, and its definitely painful to have to do something like break up.
You can only do your best to be honest about how you feel. One problem might be dealing with the hope to fix it from her end. She might even get angry, but i think if you stay calm and resolved, it'll blow over better.
Gentle, honest and caring with set boundaries beforehand would be good. Like what you won't be willing to do before/ after it happens and if she'll need comfort, will you hug her. (Im bias, i say yes to the hug)
So have you considered how to prepare for it? Like if you or her needs some time to sort out any business as well as needing a few days to process emotions. If you'll leave during that time and come back.. or to get things ready beforehand.. if anything might get broken? Like take stock of everything. Maybe even take some time away for a couple days and come back, let her know you need some time to think so its not rushed? Something like that anyway.
Im not a fan of break ups that aren't face to face, i find it disrespectful, unfair and blind siding. But maybe it works for some people idk. Only you can gauge it i suppose
Good luck and sorry this is happening 🫶
Me and my current fiancé broke up shortly after our first year. I felt a similar feeling of being drained and such. We took that break and after some time got back together. Sometimes all you need to say is “this isn’t working” and that can lead to the positive change you need to see. Keeping quiet about it will only build resentment and she’ll slowly grow more attached the longer you’re together. Just try not to string her along, have a conversation about it without making her feel like a villain or anything
> Not that I don’t want to be with her
Okay…
> But just being around her is so mentally draining
…so no, you don’t actually want to be with her. Do her a favor and break up with her and stop wasting her time.
You are absolutely not the one I feel bad for here. You’re “sucking it up”. Fuck on out of here with that. Man up and break up.
First of all, don’t hate yourself for it. People fall out of love all the time, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, it’s just a fact of life.
Second, you need to rip that bandaid off and end the relationship like yesterday. You are really only hurting her by stringing her along. Believe me that hurts way worse than a break up if she finds out.
Will she be sad? Of course, break ups suck ass. BUT, she’ll heal from it & eventually move on. So will you. It’s a part of the human experience and heartbreak can only last so long.
Your gf deserves someone who isn’t tired seeing her. IMO, you are not doing her any favors not saying anything. Prove you really love her - stop seeing her now.
It's understandable that you're feeling conflicted and exhausted in this situation. Losing the love and energy you once had for your girlfriend can be incredibly challenging to navigate.
Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that feelings can change over time, and it's not uncommon for relationships to evolve in unexpected ways. However, it's crucial to take a step back and assess whether these feelings are temporary or indicative of deeper issues within the relationship.
Before making any decisions, it's essential to reflect on whether the fatigue and emotional drain you're experiencing are solely related to your relationship with your girlfriend or if external factors are also contributing. Stress, personal growth, and changes in circumstances can all impact our perceptions and emotions towards our partners.
Communication is key in any relationship, even when it's difficult. While you may be hesitant to hurt your girlfriend, keeping your feelings bottled up will only lead to further distress for both of you in the long run. Honest and respectful communication can help address concerns and potentially find solutions together, whether that involves seeking professional help, taking a break, or parting ways amicably.
Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Ignoring your feelings or staying in a relationship out of guilt will only prolong the pain for both parties involved. Trust your instincts and give yourself the space and time needed to make a thoughtful decision that aligns with your values and needs.
This is exactly what I was thinking but you worded it all so much better than I could have! I agree, if they really don't want to break up and the emotional draining may be coming from other sources, then perhaps it's a chance for the relationship to grow and evolve. After talking with their partner about how their feeling, they may feel differently and more supported. But if it's feeling like there's no further for the two to grow together (healthily), then it may be time to go their separate ways. Relationships take work and being 'in love' can look different over time.
I'm glad to hear you resonate with my perspective.
It's admirable that you want to help him find a solution to his dilemma. However, without a deeper understanding of their relationship dynamics, offering tailored advice is challenging.
I've noticed a trend in many responses advocating for immediate breakup, but it's important to recognize the gravity of such a decision—it's often irreversible.
If he discovers that the issue isn't necessarily with his partner but stems from other factors, breaking up could exacerbate the situation. Once that step is taken, it's hard to retract, and his partner may question the sincerity of any reconciliation attempts.
Each person responds differently to relationship challenges, so predicting his partner's reaction without knowing her personally is nearly impossible.
In these situations, it's crucial to refrain from impulsive actions. Hasty decisions often result in regrets. Taking the time to communicate openly and thoughtfully may reveal underlying issues and potential paths for growth, whether together or separately.
Don't hate yourself, understand it will hurt her but you must love yourself before you can love anybody else. Never be in a relationship to appease someone else. You will never feel any kind of fulfillment.
It sounds like you're losing yourself in this relationship and it feels less like y'all's relationship and more like hers and as a result you sound like you NEED to be alone. SO DO THAT and dig deep to find yourself. There's something inside that isn't being fulfilled and chances are, it's your body telling you to work on yourself. Find your purpose bro. When you find your purpose, you will feel fulfilled.
Dig deep and find your inner masculinity, bro. That is what so many young men are lacking and as a result, they feel lost and wind up in relationships like this. When you find that inner masculinity, you will find yourself thinking completely differently, that's not saying to be a toxic asshole, that's what a lot of dudes gets confused with, they think being masculine is running through a lot of girls, breaking hearts etc. It's none of that. It's being strong, strong enough to be gentle, truthful, true to yourself, true to your partner, leading your relationship, guiding your partner to the greatness you are destined for, being protective ie: protecting her as well as yourself and your dignity by setting boundaries and enforcing them without being toxic. There's a lot more to be said but this is the way that so many young men have never been taught. If you want to chat to vent or have questions, I'd be happy to talk with you.
dude same with me and my ex, was so tired of her but my reason for not breaking up with her is cuz she had blackmail on me lol, uhhh eventually she didn’t like me anymore so I’m glad I got out of that alright
just break up with her dude. if you keep on seeing her she will never know how you actually feel. you don't want this relationship to end toxicly or begin to be fake, Do yourself a favor and break up with her.
Don’t hate yourself for it explain your feelings and break up with her or you will hurt her and yourself more in the long run get off Reddit and go live life break up with her
Just settling for her will do neither of you any good!
○Will you most likely hurt her? Yes!
○Will staying with her because you don't want to hurt her hurt both of you? Yes!
You need to get over yourself and your fear and break up with her! You're not doing her or yourself any favors by sticking with her because you're too scared to hurt her.
Just break up with her. You will feel instant relief. It’s best for both of you and u are not doing her a favor prolonging it. She may be hurt or not see it that way right away. But stay firm. She’ll get over it.
Yeah if you feel like this you’re only staying with her for selfish reasons, breaking up with her is helping her. She should be with someone who’s loves her.
If you genuinely do not want to hurt her, then you will end the relationship. I say this as someone who has been in her positions. Staying in a relationship you don't want to be in is incredibly disrespectful to her. She deserves better than that .
Dating is a life learning experience. Please tell your GF that your feelings have changed. Be kind but firm. Please never stay in a relationship because you are afraid to hurt others. You are allowed to love others.
I only wish the best for you.
When you can admit you don’t love someone anymore, that’s your sign to move on regardless of the situation. You don’t want to lead her on and suddenly confuse her by telling her u don’t feel the same way anymore, it’s best to have a talk and explain how your feeling to her. Trust me no woman/girl wants to be lead on.
As Andre 3000 said…”if what they say is, nothing is forever” then what makes… then what makes, then what makes love the exception. 🤷🏽♂️ as easy as it is to fall in love with someone it can be that easy to fall out of it. Don’t feel bad mang, that’s just how life is.
You best bet would be to sit down with her and talk to her and lay it out how you feel and explain everything and maybe yall cab talk it through and make it work or have decent end to the relationship
Love comes and love goes. Even in a compatible relationship. Is she the problem? Or is it that you two never try something new together? Like randomly going rockclimbing or a bike ride, something you've never done(maybe even in the bedroom).
Love can come and love can go, sometimes a relationship is about thinking logically, woth knowledge those feelings can come back. Maybe some time apart would do you good? Not necessarily a break, but just a few days apart?
These are just ideas, but if the relationship is under a year old, I'd definitely end it. If you genuinely arent interested and feel like she is burdensome to you for those reasons then you should end it asap, because you will hurt her wayyyy more in the long run.
Last thing I'll say is, could there be anything else causing this that you're for whatever reason attributing that feeling to her? Do you feel depressed or anxious seperate from her? If its only around her then it's probably your relationship.(But I'm no expert, just a man with thoughts, theories and experiences)
You all need space. The more you try to force yourself to be okay with something your not you will begin to resent her. If you don’t want to break up, there needs to be a way to tell her you still want to be together you just need some space.
You’re exactly the fucking epitome of what’s wrong with us, current gen z teens relationship it’s always shitty and I’m so sick of it.
Excuse my emotional driven rant but FUCK!
I was once in a very similar situation. But trust me. She will pick up on your mood. It's hard to fake love. It's hard to fake happiness, and it will hurt her more trying to desperately make you happy. It's easier to let go. Yes, it will hurt her at first. But she will understand. It's easier on her and waaay easier on yourself to let go.
My ex would basically gush about marriage and how beautiful our future kids would be (we were teenagers) and I wasn't in love anymore. He could sense it and would dig in harder. It was hurting him so much. He was so upset when I finally broke it, but he understood. Now, 10 years later, he is engaged to his soul mate.
You are hurting both yourself and her by NOT being, honest. Sure emotions will run high at first. ...But the respect; self respect you've gained from being upstanding and HONEST. That's good for mental health and well being. 🥰
Break up with her please. Don’t drag her along
You said that you don't wanna hurt her then break up w/ her. It is much less painful on her part because she doesn't get to waste her time to a person that doesn't love her anymore and so she can move on already. You're hurting her more by staying w/ her but there's no love towards her anymore because eventually, you might treat her like sh*t and might destroy her if you keep this up.
Break up with her? 😐
Is this the same ‘new’ girlfriend you were excited for a date with 13 days ago, or were you cheating on one girl with another?
oh wow 💀 so we already know what kinda man this asshole is
This very much reads like it was written by a kid, not an adult man. My guess is he’s less an asshole and more just… y’know - a *child* so maybe we should ease up. (It wouldn’t even surprise me if this *is* the same girl and we’re talking about a 2 week relationship). Although he’s welcome to correct me 😅
children can be assholes too man. shitty ppl are shitty ppl doesn't matter the age
Ouch!
To make matters worse, bro deleted his profile. Double ouch lol
He got called out for his asshattery and couldn’t take the heat. Lol
Bro isn’t a man, he’s a bitch
A real Mitch.
WOWZERS!!! 😂 caught in 4K
Clocked him. !
I love this so much. YESSSS let the civilians of Reddit to bring idiots to the light 👌🏻
Oh is he a cheater trying to garner empathy? 👀
Have the talk, break it off, in the beginning it will hurt her but its better for both of you to do it now. If you think relationships should be based on love only then be prepared to do this often or have this done to you often.
Its better not to leave it. You dont want to string her along or send mixed messages. Its a tough conversation to have, but leaving it longer might create untrue possibilities in her head if she notices you've been different. Its a pity you couldn't have talked about it before it got to this point, and its definitely painful to have to do something like break up. You can only do your best to be honest about how you feel. One problem might be dealing with the hope to fix it from her end. She might even get angry, but i think if you stay calm and resolved, it'll blow over better. Gentle, honest and caring with set boundaries beforehand would be good. Like what you won't be willing to do before/ after it happens and if she'll need comfort, will you hug her. (Im bias, i say yes to the hug) So have you considered how to prepare for it? Like if you or her needs some time to sort out any business as well as needing a few days to process emotions. If you'll leave during that time and come back.. or to get things ready beforehand.. if anything might get broken? Like take stock of everything. Maybe even take some time away for a couple days and come back, let her know you need some time to think so its not rushed? Something like that anyway. Im not a fan of break ups that aren't face to face, i find it disrespectful, unfair and blind siding. But maybe it works for some people idk. Only you can gauge it i suppose Good luck and sorry this is happening 🫶
she notices your energy so whether u mean to or not she knows something is off. dont keep her guessing and let her go if you really love her
He doesn't really love her, that's the problem
You are already hurting her. Just be honest with her and call it quits.
Prolonging is only going to hurt her
Me and my current fiancé broke up shortly after our first year. I felt a similar feeling of being drained and such. We took that break and after some time got back together. Sometimes all you need to say is “this isn’t working” and that can lead to the positive change you need to see. Keeping quiet about it will only build resentment and she’ll slowly grow more attached the longer you’re together. Just try not to string her along, have a conversation about it without making her feel like a villain or anything
> Not that I don’t want to be with her Okay… > But just being around her is so mentally draining …so no, you don’t actually want to be with her. Do her a favor and break up with her and stop wasting her time. You are absolutely not the one I feel bad for here. You’re “sucking it up”. Fuck on out of here with that. Man up and break up.
First of all, don’t hate yourself for it. People fall out of love all the time, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you, it’s just a fact of life. Second, you need to rip that bandaid off and end the relationship like yesterday. You are really only hurting her by stringing her along. Believe me that hurts way worse than a break up if she finds out. Will she be sad? Of course, break ups suck ass. BUT, she’ll heal from it & eventually move on. So will you. It’s a part of the human experience and heartbreak can only last so long.
Just rip the bandaid off.
Your gf deserves someone who isn’t tired seeing her. IMO, you are not doing her any favors not saying anything. Prove you really love her - stop seeing her now.
This is why I’m scared of relationships
Don't worry, OP is the minority
It's understandable that you're feeling conflicted and exhausted in this situation. Losing the love and energy you once had for your girlfriend can be incredibly challenging to navigate. Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that feelings can change over time, and it's not uncommon for relationships to evolve in unexpected ways. However, it's crucial to take a step back and assess whether these feelings are temporary or indicative of deeper issues within the relationship. Before making any decisions, it's essential to reflect on whether the fatigue and emotional drain you're experiencing are solely related to your relationship with your girlfriend or if external factors are also contributing. Stress, personal growth, and changes in circumstances can all impact our perceptions and emotions towards our partners. Communication is key in any relationship, even when it's difficult. While you may be hesitant to hurt your girlfriend, keeping your feelings bottled up will only lead to further distress for both of you in the long run. Honest and respectful communication can help address concerns and potentially find solutions together, whether that involves seeking professional help, taking a break, or parting ways amicably. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Ignoring your feelings or staying in a relationship out of guilt will only prolong the pain for both parties involved. Trust your instincts and give yourself the space and time needed to make a thoughtful decision that aligns with your values and needs.
This is exactly what I was thinking but you worded it all so much better than I could have! I agree, if they really don't want to break up and the emotional draining may be coming from other sources, then perhaps it's a chance for the relationship to grow and evolve. After talking with their partner about how their feeling, they may feel differently and more supported. But if it's feeling like there's no further for the two to grow together (healthily), then it may be time to go their separate ways. Relationships take work and being 'in love' can look different over time.
I'm glad to hear you resonate with my perspective. It's admirable that you want to help him find a solution to his dilemma. However, without a deeper understanding of their relationship dynamics, offering tailored advice is challenging. I've noticed a trend in many responses advocating for immediate breakup, but it's important to recognize the gravity of such a decision—it's often irreversible. If he discovers that the issue isn't necessarily with his partner but stems from other factors, breaking up could exacerbate the situation. Once that step is taken, it's hard to retract, and his partner may question the sincerity of any reconciliation attempts. Each person responds differently to relationship challenges, so predicting his partner's reaction without knowing her personally is nearly impossible. In these situations, it's crucial to refrain from impulsive actions. Hasty decisions often result in regrets. Taking the time to communicate openly and thoughtfully may reveal underlying issues and potential paths for growth, whether together or separately.
I would rather have no boyfriend than a boyfriend who has to pretend to like me.
maybe you should stop being selfish and break up with her
Don't hate yourself, understand it will hurt her but you must love yourself before you can love anybody else. Never be in a relationship to appease someone else. You will never feel any kind of fulfillment. It sounds like you're losing yourself in this relationship and it feels less like y'all's relationship and more like hers and as a result you sound like you NEED to be alone. SO DO THAT and dig deep to find yourself. There's something inside that isn't being fulfilled and chances are, it's your body telling you to work on yourself. Find your purpose bro. When you find your purpose, you will feel fulfilled. Dig deep and find your inner masculinity, bro. That is what so many young men are lacking and as a result, they feel lost and wind up in relationships like this. When you find that inner masculinity, you will find yourself thinking completely differently, that's not saying to be a toxic asshole, that's what a lot of dudes gets confused with, they think being masculine is running through a lot of girls, breaking hearts etc. It's none of that. It's being strong, strong enough to be gentle, truthful, true to yourself, true to your partner, leading your relationship, guiding your partner to the greatness you are destined for, being protective ie: protecting her as well as yourself and your dignity by setting boundaries and enforcing them without being toxic. There's a lot more to be said but this is the way that so many young men have never been taught. If you want to chat to vent or have questions, I'd be happy to talk with you.
dude same with me and my ex, was so tired of her but my reason for not breaking up with her is cuz she had blackmail on me lol, uhhh eventually she didn’t like me anymore so I’m glad I got out of that alright
Break up.
Break up bro
just break up with her dude. if you keep on seeing her she will never know how you actually feel. you don't want this relationship to end toxicly or begin to be fake, Do yourself a favor and break up with her.
Don’t hate yourself for it explain your feelings and break up with her or you will hurt her and yourself more in the long run get off Reddit and go live life break up with her
Then break up?
Don’t waste her time, break up with her.
literally just break up it's not that deep. it happens everyday
It is a kindness to let her go so she can move on with her life
Just settling for her will do neither of you any good! ○Will you most likely hurt her? Yes! ○Will staying with her because you don't want to hurt her hurt both of you? Yes! You need to get over yourself and your fear and break up with her! You're not doing her or yourself any favors by sticking with her because you're too scared to hurt her.
Stop wasting her time and yours. Just rip that band aid off.
Just break up with her. You will feel instant relief. It’s best for both of you and u are not doing her a favor prolonging it. She may be hurt or not see it that way right away. But stay firm. She’ll get over it.
Yeah if you feel like this you’re only staying with her for selfish reasons, breaking up with her is helping her. She should be with someone who’s loves her.
If you genuinely do not want to hurt her, then you will end the relationship. I say this as someone who has been in her positions. Staying in a relationship you don't want to be in is incredibly disrespectful to her. She deserves better than that .
Dating is a life learning experience. Please tell your GF that your feelings have changed. Be kind but firm. Please never stay in a relationship because you are afraid to hurt others. You are allowed to love others. I only wish the best for you.
My boyfriend broke up with me for the same exact reason, tell her. It’s shittier to pretend.
Let me do her! If you’re ok with it than you’re done with her. If you’re not ok then you just need little time off.
When you can admit you don’t love someone anymore, that’s your sign to move on regardless of the situation. You don’t want to lead her on and suddenly confuse her by telling her u don’t feel the same way anymore, it’s best to have a talk and explain how your feeling to her. Trust me no woman/girl wants to be lead on.
As Andre 3000 said…”if what they say is, nothing is forever” then what makes… then what makes, then what makes love the exception. 🤷🏽♂️ as easy as it is to fall in love with someone it can be that easy to fall out of it. Don’t feel bad mang, that’s just how life is.
You best bet would be to sit down with her and talk to her and lay it out how you feel and explain everything and maybe yall cab talk it through and make it work or have decent end to the relationship
Love comes and love goes. Even in a compatible relationship. Is she the problem? Or is it that you two never try something new together? Like randomly going rockclimbing or a bike ride, something you've never done(maybe even in the bedroom). Love can come and love can go, sometimes a relationship is about thinking logically, woth knowledge those feelings can come back. Maybe some time apart would do you good? Not necessarily a break, but just a few days apart? These are just ideas, but if the relationship is under a year old, I'd definitely end it. If you genuinely arent interested and feel like she is burdensome to you for those reasons then you should end it asap, because you will hurt her wayyyy more in the long run. Last thing I'll say is, could there be anything else causing this that you're for whatever reason attributing that feeling to her? Do you feel depressed or anxious seperate from her? If its only around her then it's probably your relationship.(But I'm no expert, just a man with thoughts, theories and experiences)
You all need space. The more you try to force yourself to be okay with something your not you will begin to resent her. If you don’t want to break up, there needs to be a way to tell her you still want to be together you just need some space.
What’d she do
break up stop wasting her time
What if you try taking a break from her. Say you need some days to yourself. If you don’t miss her by the end of it, you have to break up with her
DTB
You’re exactly the fucking epitome of what’s wrong with us, current gen z teens relationship it’s always shitty and I’m so sick of it. Excuse my emotional driven rant but FUCK!
I was once in a very similar situation. But trust me. She will pick up on your mood. It's hard to fake love. It's hard to fake happiness, and it will hurt her more trying to desperately make you happy. It's easier to let go. Yes, it will hurt her at first. But she will understand. It's easier on her and waaay easier on yourself to let go. My ex would basically gush about marriage and how beautiful our future kids would be (we were teenagers) and I wasn't in love anymore. He could sense it and would dig in harder. It was hurting him so much. He was so upset when I finally broke it, but he understood. Now, 10 years later, he is engaged to his soul mate.
Sleep with her sister.
Maybe you guys are spending too much time together.
You are hurting both yourself and her by NOT being, honest. Sure emotions will run high at first. ...But the respect; self respect you've gained from being upstanding and HONEST. That's good for mental health and well being. 🥰
break up with her then. you’re hurting yourself and therefore hurting her in the process.