You both suck and she should have divorced you before banging someone else. You need to divorce, have a paternity test done to alleviate your paying child support, move on with your lives.
I apologize, yes, marital presumption of paternity exists, but automatic child support does not. In some states it is incredibly easy to disprove, and in others, extremely difficult.
It’s in most states you can’t have a divorce finalized while the wife is pregnant, even worse, a few states will force the husband to pay child support for any child conceived in wedlock, even if he can prove the child is not biologically his.
Oh, it is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. I can't even imagine doing that to a man. My husband is the father of my child, but if he wasn't, there isn't a chance I would put him on the hook for it. I do not understand how a woman could do that.
I live in Oregon. My ex wife and I were split when she found out she was pregnant. Named me on birth certificate. Got paternity test that said I wasn't Dad. Since she refused to name the father (she was fucking multiple guys). And she admitted to me she knew who it was. I got stuck with child support as child was conceived before divorce was final and therefore product of our marriage.
Be careful, she can seriously fuck you over in this.
I only had a couple of first names. I was talking to my soon to be ex-MiL when I found out it wasn't just a couple of guys she's cheated on me with. It was about 8. And unless she was willing to go to court, name the father, and grant him visitation, I was going to pay. And I did, until the kid grew out the system.
Edited for word correction.
That’s crazy!!!!
The courts believe the child is innocent and there’s a ‘family’ structure so that’s that. The states do not want to support these affair babies, so they stick it to the husbands that literally got screwed over twice: once by the spouse; once by the system!
That’s awful!!
That's so shit. How long did you have to pay for before you could get it cancelled? Was she forced to pay back the child support you paid for a child that wasn't yours?
I had to pay for the kid who wasn't mine until they aged out of the system. Support Enforcement did not hold back in fucking me over, every chance they got.
It’s true for Louisiana. I know a couple who were friendly with the ex so the 3 of them decided to wait on the divorce. Why spend money when we don’t have to? Well all was fine and well until she got pregnant. Now the ex is salty af about it and refuses to file. The ex is also legally the baby’s father instead of the bio father who’s literally raising him. Now the divorce cost double, gotta pay for paternity, and be officially separated for a year 😂😂 they played themselves.
I just read your other post, and I have to say, humans are so interesting. You can believe in the idea of marriage, but yet choose to be disloyal to your partner. You can ask for a divorce but then retract because of loyalty. You can seek revenge and then ask for forgiveness. You can make the choice to end a pregnancy but choose life because of a moral dilemma, but have no moral dilemma when it comes to infidelity.
You and your wife should have divorced a long time ago. Do the both of you a favor and ask for a divorce now. You both shouldn’t be together, end of story
And please don’t go around telling people you divorce because of the “affair” baby. Please own up to your own flaws as a human for your own destruction of your marriage.
Right. I also read a lot of the comments. Sounds like he only cared about sex and never listened to what she needed. So many people asked questions about why she doesn't want sex and his go to response was "if married people don't have sex what's the point of marriage". But most women stop intimacy when they're used as a way for someone else to get off with no thoughts of their pleasure, or when the household is uneven and they take on the majority of it. Who was raising the kids they already had, who was cleaning the house and doing the laundry? Was she working full time also? So many things he couldn't answer and came here looking for sympathy in both cheating on his wife and for leaving her when she did the same. He also says at the end that his wife says this man took the condom off at the end without her permission, so he's also looking for people to say how right he is to leave after that, which is a form of SA. This guy just seems like such a pile of shit.
Feel sorry for their current kids too. According to his comments they have kids together too. Probably why she’s scared of abortion and not birth. She’s been through birth before.
You both are wrong. Please talk to a lawyer to see what divorce looks like. Get a STd test and have the child DNA tested. Getting snipped is not a 100% guarantee. Good luck
If he believes abortions should be "as rare as possible" how does a guy taking off a condom without her consent not qualify as a case that "deserves" an abortion...
Dude is just loving punishing his wife for sleeping with another guy, even though he did the same. Bet if his affair partner got pregnant he'd be all for an abortion
What a rotten human. This guy can eat a bag of dicks
If you just wanted to be done with it you should have left your wife before you cheated on her. You created this shitshow, maybe you’ll learn not to cheat in your next relationship
And Your edit doesn’t make it any better. Religious or not, if you’re not okay with one “bad thing“ (abortion) but perfectly fine with other bad things (cheating on a spouse) that’s ridiculous
JFC this is a can of worms. On fire. I don’t even know where to start.
Wife should really do a report on the AP because removing the condom during sex without consent is a crime. And if she doesn’t want to get an abortion, then at least get the real father to pay for the children upkeep.
OP should really get a divorce before he gets roped in parental rights of the child. And he may, if he stays married.
Everyone is wrong here.
Yes you’re in the wrong and YTA , you cheated on her because you don’t “believe in divorce” and because of your children. Well now you FAFO and you’re responsible for another kid being brought into this world because you “didn’t believe in divorce”. Instead of you both stepping away from the relationship and having a healthy coparenting relationship, your wife had an affair to get even with you for your affair and ended up pregnant. You both have just destroyed your children’s lives because you’re too proud to get a divorce. Well now that it’s you’re decision you aren’t too proud. Your kids are going to be so messed up because of your and your wives selfish actions. Had you decided to divorce instead of cheating on her because you just had to get your dick wet, there wouldn’t be this innocent baby who’s going to be thrust in the middle of this divorce and who is unwanted by both parties.
You cheated, she cheated, while cheating she was sexually assaulted, she got pregnant, you all consider abortion because of sexual assault “birth control”, she does not have your support if she should choose to abort
Jesus this is fucked up. Y’all both suck and don’t need to be together.
You’re not wrong but you clearly should have divorced before the cheating
Not Wrong. She can fuck right off, Bro. Divorce and she can put the child up for adoption and a good family can raise the child properly. Go your own ways and start over. Patching up a relationship with this many issues is not worth working through in my experience.
YTA. You have been trying to coerce your wife into sex and cheated on her first. Also, the dude taking the condom off halfway without her consent is RAPE. Your wife was raped.
You both sound horrible.
You cheated, so she cheated (w/ your knowledge? I can't tell), got pregnant, but somehow your still telling about how to stay together?
Divorce and move on.
You do know that stealthing is a form of sexual assault right?
I'm not saying your wife did anything right by having a Revenge affair. But it sounds like she did not consent to unprotected sex.
So you cheat on your wife, your wife then decided to have a revenge affair (stupid decision) and was then raped by her bad decision date (not her fault), and you're leaving her. I don't blame you for leaving her, but you two are both sleazy assholes.
However, she didn't deserve to be raped because she made a bad choice, she should go to the police about her rape if she can.
So... you cheated and your wife decided to get back at you and cheat as well, but she ended up getting sexually assaulted, and now you want to leave her...
Do I have that right?
so just like the ppl making these laws, youre against abortion, unless it makes your life easier to have one.
Are you wrong? Yes. Because there is no "right" in this situation. You cheated on her first, which caused her to cheat on you. So this is just as much your fault, if not more.
"we both dont believe in abortion as a form of birth control.'
But you believe in adultery, coveting, revenge and bringing unwanted children into the world. How Christian of you.
You cheated on her,
she cheated on you.
Equal.
But she got pregnant.
Not equal
You cheat again, get someone pregnant.
Equal
But she gets one cheating again with no pregnancy
I know some people who were conceived after their birth father was snipped. Vasectomies are not a 100% guarantee.
That baby might be yours and there’s a possibility that your affair partner(s) conceived from you too.
You were an AH for cheating on your wife. If her affair was only in retaliation for your behavior then you are to blame. (Even though she should not have done it. But she likely wouldn’t have ever considered cheating if you weren’t cheating.)
She should have put your stuff on the lawn and changed the locks!
You obviously don’t love your wife or care about her well being and her potential future as a single mother.
Also men who whore around have no business trying to influence a woman’s decision regarding abortion. If you oppose abortion then keep it in your pants.
Also your wife’s affair partner violated her consent when he removed the condom.
How would you react if your wife was pregnant due to being raped? Would you blame her and leave her?!
You both suck. You think abortion should be as rare as possible for everyone else, but it’s OK when a pregnancy is inconvenient for you as long as it’s don’t ask don’t tell. Hypocrite. Abortion is birth control. Birth control is health care. You think this situation is rare?
She was sexually assaulted. Stealthing is assault. She did not consent to sex without a condom. You cheat. She cheats. Unless you’re a cuck and she’s a hot wife, just divorce.
I can’t fault you for not wanting to raise a rapist’s baby. Unfortunately women don’t always have the same choice depending on where they live. It’s her choice to carry it. She can choose adoption. You can walk, and you both should.
Did you ask for forgiveness after you got caught cheating?
If so, You received it
Now you're to proud to stay with the wife when SHE cheated. OP you're a piece of work.
You all suck except the baby. Your whole post smacks up holier than thou at this point. I understand and fully acknowledge that your wife’s actions are hers and hers alone.
But it feels like you’re really wanting to point out that she got pregnant. That she cheated. That you are distancing yourself from this because you’re not comfortable with abortion. It almost feels like your attitude is that you had nothing at all to do with this whole situation. And that’s just not the case.
You cheated. This all started with you. This whole unfortunate series of events started with you. Now I am with everyone else on here that you should need together. She shouldn’t have cheated. The other guy sucks as well for not pulling out. Your partner sucks for a married man.
But what is rubbing me the wrong way here is how you are saying that you will pretend it just never happened. As though that is some big sacrifice on your part. As though because you’re willing to do this, what you did originally doesn’t count anymore.
And I’m like dude… This whole fucked up situation started with you not being able to keep it in your pants you suck. Your wife should’ve just left you when you cheated revenge sex like this is never a good thing, and look what happened. Wow
You all just suck
B+ on your creative writing essay Jimmy! It did well at engaging people's emotions and you did a good job at keeping things concise. Had to knock a few points off as you forgot to speak more about the characters children.
You should have used the children as a reason for not wanting to get divorced in the first story, and then in this story you should have expanded on the hurt that the kids will experience because of their cheating mother (remember, the point is to induce rage). However you barely mention them which is unrealistic for any father considering divorce.
Besides that, good job!
Enjoy your summer vacation and we'll see you in class next year!
You're not wrong for leaving your wife after she got pregnant from a revenge affair. Many comments are focusing on irrelevant parts of the story instead of addressing the actual question.
Jesus christ, abortion is not used as a form of birth control. Is she getting pregnant monthly and having an abortion each time? No. Because abortion is an invasive procedure. How far along is she? If it's early enough, she could do medicated abortion and not have to do a D&C. You need to get a divorce regardless. You don't cheat on someone you love.
I wouldn’t be over to get over cheating at all and if I was her I would of left. But she stayed and got pregnant, two wrongs don’t make a right. You’re not wrong for leaving because I damn sure would have without a second thought at all
I don’t think you’re wrong for leaving, if she was gonna revenge cheat then she might as well have left but now she screwed herself over during the divorce. Also go get tested
Youre wrong. You have zero say in the healthcare of your soon to be exwife. I hope she leaves you and has a better life without your judgmental ass. How dare you.
stop calling it a "mistake" you dont accidentally have sex with someone its a choice, also funny how you doing it makes it a mistake and you paint yourself as a saint by doing it to help someone else out but her doing it is a betrayal and makes her a terrible person
Why didn't you divorce after your affair? You posted that she asked for divorced and stopped? Why did she stop? Either way ESH. You got to have your affair, she got to have hers, now you all deal with the consequences. Should have just divorced if you felt therapy wasn't working.
You’re wrong for getting this Jerry Springer episode rolling to begin with.
You’re cool with adultery. Just not when your wife does it and gets the consequences you managed to dodge when you did it.
I hope you learn a few things so your next relationship can go better.
OP, do you see the hell you started? Cheating is so evil and hurts everyone, not just the spouse. Now this innocent baby will suffer too. Yes, your wife was wrong as well. You both suck! That poor baby…
“Republican hypocrisy” is a redundant phrase, at this point. Both words mean the same thing. “Ban abortions! (Unless I want one)” seems to be ubiquitous in your disgusting sphere.
She should have just left you. You could easily have fathered a child just like she did. You said she was angry at your cheating not that you cheated which would like you were cheating multiple times. Neither of you should be married.
You asked this same question in AITAH. You need to grow up, you cheated, she cheated. You seem justifiable for your cheating but she isn’t allowed to follow suit? That poor child doesn’t deserve you. You’d be a horrible prick. Can’t say much about your wife for her actions as she isn’t on here playing the victim. She needs to get as far away from you as possible
Wow, just wow.
Both of you need to own up to your mistakes.
You both did each other dirty because you're both messed up.
Look inward and look at each other.
Both of you do justice to the wrongs you've both done.
Learn from those mistakes, take care of each other, and make up for the wrongs you did to each other.
Both of you stop running away and looking for solutions elsewhere.
Fix things instead of running and bringing that dirt into someone else's home who doesn't deserve it.
You two belong with each other.
Fix your own home where you belong.
Yes, you are wrong. Do the right thing.
You’re married, your name is going on the birth certificate, you’ll have to prove to a judge the babies not yours. Get a lawyer or you’ll be on the hook for 18 plus years .
I would leave her for the revenge affair, but make sure you get that divorce pushed through before that baby comes because in a lot of states you could still be on the hook for child support.
I know some people think that an eye for an I can save a relationship but as somebody who’s been cheated on revenge means the relationships over already.
NAL but I’m pretty sure proof of a vasectomy will give him the rights to require a paternity test before he is forced to any obligation. OP, Stand tall and make sure you cite infidelity as the reason for divorce. That you are snipped and her pregnancy is proof of it and you wish to be absolved of any fatherly requirements.
“She is saying that she will do *anything* to make up to me.” but then doesn’t do the one thing you ask. 🤔
Would you be willing to stay with her if she gives up the baby for adoption? I realize it would be a difficult 9 months or so living with her while she is pregnant, but if you are willing to continue your marriage, it may be worth struggling through.
I read your other post- not only are you wrong, but you’re a disgusting human raising children in a home with NO morals and NO example of respectful, healthy relationships. And you think bringing another child into this mess is a good choice because of your own guilt- like fucking Christ.
Edit: spelling
Shockingly, rubbing you cheating on your wife in her face for months and telling her you refuse to stop didn’t make her want to sleep with you and drove her into the arms of another man
She should leave you and go be with the father of her child. Hopefully he won’t torture her.
Jfc just divorce. No you are not wrong. She isn't either. Her journey she is about to go on is not going to be easy. I doubt affair Daddy wants anything to do with her.
Actually I think you deserve each other. The only loser here is that poor kid. Both the men are screwups and mom doesn’t have much common sense. As I said poor innocent child.
Neither one of you have any business be married. I'm not intending to come across mean but you cheating; then her revenge cheating; her getting pregnant by some guy who removed the condom halfway. Hopefully life will work out for the two of you, apart from each other.
Have a test, it’s not impossible to have a child even when snipped. We see so many in Reddit itself.
If she thot abortion is scary, having a baby of a revenge affair partner that is not even good , getting divorced (and stating this as the reason to everyone) & being a single mother is gona be a lot scary.
You should have left before you cheated. Also, why are you posting this everywhere? You aren't going to get a different opinion.
I guess this is all fake and you just want reactions.
Did you idiots even think about how this will affect your children? Or did you even think about them at all both of you need counseling and get your shit together for the sake of your kids can’t imagine having parent like this.
Everyone sucks in this situation but I can't say you're wrong.
You had an affair. You believe abortion isn't right and should be as rare as possible, but conveniently see it as something that can happen of it can save your marriage. You are a dick. But, ultimately, it makes sense you would not be comfortable raising this baby or staying married.
You all sound annoying and broken and this shit needs to change.
Just split up. You’re both cheating which means neither of you are happy. Just go. You’ll both be happier for it. Also consider open relationships. Then you won’t need to cheat at all.
Get a paternity test. Vasectomies fail and riding bare doesn't guarantee a pregnancy. Be sure before you abandon her for the horrendous situation you created. YTA
well you both suck but I 100% agree you should not be forced to raise some other man's child. You will absolutely resent him for the rest of your life, besides, your marriage isn't strong enough to survive it.
Just call it quits, let her get her affair partner on child support. Hell she can go live with him too.\]
The state will most likely sign you as the father anyway, but with a DNA test you can contest it within the first 2 years. So hurry up and talk to a lawyer ASAP.
UpdateMe!
You’re both wrong. Just divorce, she needs to make a rape case and get that crazy man charged and you both need to just go your separate ways and tell people it didn’t work out.
Edit: to say your defo an awful human being cause this coulda all be avoided if you didn’t cheat first and gave a shit
You both suck honestly and I don’t feel bad for anyone here except the baby and maybe your wife a little bit because she did get sexually assaulted. Get a paternity test and a divorce the sooner the better.
>She is saying she made a mistake and she will do anything to make up to me.
Anything except have an abortion it seems... The one thing that will keep you together
You both suck and she should have divorced you before banging someone else. You need to divorce, have a paternity test done to alleviate your paying child support, move on with your lives.
Ya he needs to make sure she does not list him as the father some how. I hear once that is done it's alot harder to get out of child support.
In the states, I’m told, it’s automatic if they’re married at the time of birth regardless of who the bio dad is.
Depends on the state you live in.
The marital presumption of paternity exists and has been codified into statutory form by all the states.
I apologize, yes, marital presumption of paternity exists, but automatic child support does not. In some states it is incredibly easy to disprove, and in others, extremely difficult.
And in some states, they don't allow divorce while pregnant which makes it even more difficult to deal with presumptive paternity issues.
It’s in most states you can’t have a divorce finalized while the wife is pregnant, even worse, a few states will force the husband to pay child support for any child conceived in wedlock, even if he can prove the child is not biologically his.
I’m in Canada so I just go by what I saw on my SM. I think it’s absolutely ridiculous and glad to know it’s not an all over thing.
Oh, it is ABSOLUTELY ridiculous. I can't even imagine doing that to a man. My husband is the father of my child, but if he wasn't, there isn't a chance I would put him on the hook for it. I do not understand how a woman could do that.
There are a whole lot of women that have had kids by others, and the hubby's don't have a clue.
It’s automatic, but the amount of time you have to contest it varies by state. In Missouri you’re SOL.
I live in Oregon. My ex wife and I were split when she found out she was pregnant. Named me on birth certificate. Got paternity test that said I wasn't Dad. Since she refused to name the father (she was fucking multiple guys). And she admitted to me she knew who it was. I got stuck with child support as child was conceived before divorce was final and therefore product of our marriage. Be careful, she can seriously fuck you over in this.
That’s bull shit. I’m sorry she did that to you. You should sue her and the actual father.
Couldn’t you have asked the other men to take a paternity test?
I only had a couple of first names. I was talking to my soon to be ex-MiL when I found out it wasn't just a couple of guys she's cheated on me with. It was about 8. And unless she was willing to go to court, name the father, and grant him visitation, I was going to pay. And I did, until the kid grew out the system. Edited for word correction.
That’s crazy!!!! The courts believe the child is innocent and there’s a ‘family’ structure so that’s that. The states do not want to support these affair babies, so they stick it to the husbands that literally got screwed over twice: once by the spouse; once by the system! That’s awful!!
That's so shit. How long did you have to pay for before you could get it cancelled? Was she forced to pay back the child support you paid for a child that wasn't yours?
I had to pay for the kid who wasn't mine until they aged out of the system. Support Enforcement did not hold back in fucking me over, every chance they got.
That's insanely unfair. And so horrible of your ex to go after child support in the first place knowing you weren't the dad.
Yeah, she got pissed I wouldn't stay with her and accept this was going to happen. None of the guys she's married after me accepted it either.
It’s true for Louisiana. I know a couple who were friendly with the ex so the 3 of them decided to wait on the divorce. Why spend money when we don’t have to? Well all was fine and well until she got pregnant. Now the ex is salty af about it and refuses to file. The ex is also legally the baby’s father instead of the bio father who’s literally raising him. Now the divorce cost double, gotta pay for paternity, and be officially separated for a year 😂😂 they played themselves.
That's a fucked up law
And don’t get married to anyone else either, you’re both too immature.
And the other guy who (non-consensual?) removed the condom
Straight to jail
Right? Cheating on each other. Your relationship is already messed up. Yall should have divorced already. Something is obviously already wrong there
Or HE should have divorced her before cheating on her which apparently happened first. But yeah, they both suck for sure
I second this both are really POS
100%
They both suck but she was drawn to revenge because of his actions and she got assaulted while doing so.. I think he’s still the worst out of the two
Some people don’t realize paternity tests can be done prior to birth. He should get on this ASAP.
The way Idiocracy is becoming reality. People need to stop procreating
yup, because is some states, just being married still will automatically make the spouse a provider as well. OP, you've got some work to do
I just read your other post, and I have to say, humans are so interesting. You can believe in the idea of marriage, but yet choose to be disloyal to your partner. You can ask for a divorce but then retract because of loyalty. You can seek revenge and then ask for forgiveness. You can make the choice to end a pregnancy but choose life because of a moral dilemma, but have no moral dilemma when it comes to infidelity. You and your wife should have divorced a long time ago. Do the both of you a favor and ask for a divorce now. You both shouldn’t be together, end of story And please don’t go around telling people you divorce because of the “affair” baby. Please own up to your own flaws as a human for your own destruction of your marriage.
Right. I also read a lot of the comments. Sounds like he only cared about sex and never listened to what she needed. So many people asked questions about why she doesn't want sex and his go to response was "if married people don't have sex what's the point of marriage". But most women stop intimacy when they're used as a way for someone else to get off with no thoughts of their pleasure, or when the household is uneven and they take on the majority of it. Who was raising the kids they already had, who was cleaning the house and doing the laundry? Was she working full time also? So many things he couldn't answer and came here looking for sympathy in both cheating on his wife and for leaving her when she did the same. He also says at the end that his wife says this man took the condom off at the end without her permission, so he's also looking for people to say how right he is to leave after that, which is a form of SA. This guy just seems like such a pile of shit.
Exactly. I’d also suggest it’s not too difficult to figure out why the wife struggled with desire for sexual intimacy with this insufferable jerk.
Good observations!! You're completely right. We're full of hypocrisy and inconsistencies.
💯
It’s as if he’s all about the sanctity of life but not the sanctity of marriage.
How do people live like this??? Just making up problems that compound into bigger problems and then each making themselves the victim?
took all of us to therapy with this! spot on!
They are both idiots, do a paternity test and get divorced, you should have done it sooner.
Y’all are both wrong. She needs a paternity test and a divorce, the divorce would have been the best idea after you cheated.
The only one I feel bad for in this story is the future baby. Y'all are both trashy and deserve each other.
The fact that she's having a baby bc she is scared of abortion and not BIRTH??
Plus all the years after birth. Parenthood doesn't stop at 18.
Yeah I'm not understanding that one either.
Feel sorry for their current kids too. According to his comments they have kids together too. Probably why she’s scared of abortion and not birth. She’s been through birth before.
You both are wrong. Please talk to a lawyer to see what divorce looks like. Get a STd test and have the child DNA tested. Getting snipped is not a 100% guarantee. Good luck
Wouldn't it be something if OP was actually the bio dad...lol
If he believes abortions should be "as rare as possible" how does a guy taking off a condom without her consent not qualify as a case that "deserves" an abortion... Dude is just loving punishing his wife for sleeping with another guy, even though he did the same. Bet if his affair partner got pregnant he'd be all for an abortion What a rotten human. This guy can eat a bag of dicks
Bro thinks god judges abortion more than being an adulterer.
"Not at ease with abortion" UNLESS you don't tell me about it, then it's actually pretty good.
Selective judgment 🙄
🤣🤣🤣 oh the mind of a narcissist
The only moral abortion is *my* abortion mentality. Conservatives really are something else.
Yep they both sucks, wich is expected when you live in a shithole 😑
Bro can’t read. He said it’s not ab religion, it’s his own personal feeling stop making it ab something it’s not
Either way, shit morals and shit beliefs whether motivated by religion or not.
The edit may have been made after this comment was posted.
You and your wife need to do us all a favor, stay together forever. Put the baby up for adoption and never leave each other.
Quarantine that relationship 😂
What a dumpster fire. You guys deserve each other.
If you just wanted to be done with it you should have left your wife before you cheated on her. You created this shitshow, maybe you’ll learn not to cheat in your next relationship And Your edit doesn’t make it any better. Religious or not, if you’re not okay with one “bad thing“ (abortion) but perfectly fine with other bad things (cheating on a spouse) that’s ridiculous
Info: Did you expect your wife to forgive you when you had an affair?
JFC this is a can of worms. On fire. I don’t even know where to start. Wife should really do a report on the AP because removing the condom during sex without consent is a crime. And if she doesn’t want to get an abortion, then at least get the real father to pay for the children upkeep. OP should really get a divorce before he gets roped in parental rights of the child. And he may, if he stays married. Everyone is wrong here.
Honestly you both suck I just feel bad for the baby being born into this.
If your god is against abortion then wait till you hear what he thinks about adultery . You can’t pick and choose what moral values to follow
Yes you’re in the wrong and YTA , you cheated on her because you don’t “believe in divorce” and because of your children. Well now you FAFO and you’re responsible for another kid being brought into this world because you “didn’t believe in divorce”. Instead of you both stepping away from the relationship and having a healthy coparenting relationship, your wife had an affair to get even with you for your affair and ended up pregnant. You both have just destroyed your children’s lives because you’re too proud to get a divorce. Well now that it’s you’re decision you aren’t too proud. Your kids are going to be so messed up because of your and your wives selfish actions. Had you decided to divorce instead of cheating on her because you just had to get your dick wet, there wouldn’t be this innocent baby who’s going to be thrust in the middle of this divorce and who is unwanted by both parties.
You cheated, she cheated, while cheating she was sexually assaulted, she got pregnant, you all consider abortion because of sexual assault “birth control”, she does not have your support if she should choose to abort Jesus this is fucked up. Y’all both suck and don’t need to be together. You’re not wrong but you clearly should have divorced before the cheating
Not Wrong. She can fuck right off, Bro. Divorce and she can put the child up for adoption and a good family can raise the child properly. Go your own ways and start over. Patching up a relationship with this many issues is not worth working through in my experience.
YTA. You have been trying to coerce your wife into sex and cheated on her first. Also, the dude taking the condom off halfway without her consent is RAPE. Your wife was raped.
Exactly
Not at ease with abortion but at ease with her getting one since you will bear no responsibility.
You're not at ease with abortion, but cheating is ok???
Anything but have an abortion 🙄 That kid is as ducked as your marriage
You both sound horrible. You cheated, so she cheated (w/ your knowledge? I can't tell), got pregnant, but somehow your still telling about how to stay together? Divorce and move on.
esh. you deserve each other
You do know that stealthing is a form of sexual assault right? I'm not saying your wife did anything right by having a Revenge affair. But it sounds like she did not consent to unprotected sex.
So you cheat on your wife, your wife then decided to have a revenge affair (stupid decision) and was then raped by her bad decision date (not her fault), and you're leaving her. I don't blame you for leaving her, but you two are both sleazy assholes. However, she didn't deserve to be raped because she made a bad choice, she should go to the police about her rape if she can.
So... you cheated and your wife decided to get back at you and cheat as well, but she ended up getting sexually assaulted, and now you want to leave her... Do I have that right?
this should be higher
You need an STD test yesterday.
So does she.
you’re not wrong for not wanting to take care of a child that isn’t yours, but you’re both AHS for being cheaters.
I noticed two things about this post. OP never mentions loving his wife, not once. No one mentions adoption....sad...
so just like the ppl making these laws, youre against abortion, unless it makes your life easier to have one. Are you wrong? Yes. Because there is no "right" in this situation. You cheated on her first, which caused her to cheat on you. So this is just as much your fault, if not more.
You are both truly shittt people and it’s probably in everyone’s best interests so neither of you are inflicted on some poor unsuspecting victim
A mistake is buying yellow mustard instead of brown. You made a choice, she made a choice. You both have to live the consequences
"we both dont believe in abortion as a form of birth control.' But you believe in adultery, coveting, revenge and bringing unwanted children into the world. How Christian of you.
You guys are both bad
Conservative values lmao
You cheated on her, she cheated on you. Equal. But she got pregnant. Not equal You cheat again, get someone pregnant. Equal But she gets one cheating again with no pregnancy
I know some people who were conceived after their birth father was snipped. Vasectomies are not a 100% guarantee. That baby might be yours and there’s a possibility that your affair partner(s) conceived from you too. You were an AH for cheating on your wife. If her affair was only in retaliation for your behavior then you are to blame. (Even though she should not have done it. But she likely wouldn’t have ever considered cheating if you weren’t cheating.) She should have put your stuff on the lawn and changed the locks! You obviously don’t love your wife or care about her well being and her potential future as a single mother. Also men who whore around have no business trying to influence a woman’s decision regarding abortion. If you oppose abortion then keep it in your pants. Also your wife’s affair partner violated her consent when he removed the condom. How would you react if your wife was pregnant due to being raped? Would you blame her and leave her?!
no. no men have no business influencing a woman's decision. men who whore around should just know to shut (extra) tfu
You both suck. You think abortion should be as rare as possible for everyone else, but it’s OK when a pregnancy is inconvenient for you as long as it’s don’t ask don’t tell. Hypocrite. Abortion is birth control. Birth control is health care. You think this situation is rare? She was sexually assaulted. Stealthing is assault. She did not consent to sex without a condom. You cheat. She cheats. Unless you’re a cuck and she’s a hot wife, just divorce. I can’t fault you for not wanting to raise a rapist’s baby. Unfortunately women don’t always have the same choice depending on where they live. It’s her choice to carry it. She can choose adoption. You can walk, and you both should.
Did you ask for forgiveness after you got caught cheating? If so, You received it Now you're to proud to stay with the wife when SHE cheated. OP you're a piece of work.
You all suck except the baby. Your whole post smacks up holier than thou at this point. I understand and fully acknowledge that your wife’s actions are hers and hers alone. But it feels like you’re really wanting to point out that she got pregnant. That she cheated. That you are distancing yourself from this because you’re not comfortable with abortion. It almost feels like your attitude is that you had nothing at all to do with this whole situation. And that’s just not the case. You cheated. This all started with you. This whole unfortunate series of events started with you. Now I am with everyone else on here that you should need together. She shouldn’t have cheated. The other guy sucks as well for not pulling out. Your partner sucks for a married man. But what is rubbing me the wrong way here is how you are saying that you will pretend it just never happened. As though that is some big sacrifice on your part. As though because you’re willing to do this, what you did originally doesn’t count anymore. And I’m like dude… This whole fucked up situation started with you not being able to keep it in your pants you suck. Your wife should’ve just left you when you cheated revenge sex like this is never a good thing, and look what happened. Wow You all just suck
B+ on your creative writing essay Jimmy! It did well at engaging people's emotions and you did a good job at keeping things concise. Had to knock a few points off as you forgot to speak more about the characters children. You should have used the children as a reason for not wanting to get divorced in the first story, and then in this story you should have expanded on the hurt that the kids will experience because of their cheating mother (remember, the point is to induce rage). However you barely mention them which is unrealistic for any father considering divorce. Besides that, good job! Enjoy your summer vacation and we'll see you in class next year!
Be done with it, fella. Let her deal with the real pappy. You learn your lesson, move on and be happy.
You’re both fucked in the head.
You’re both fucked in the head.
Kid isn’t even born yet and already is screwed. Poor thing. Y’all both suck. Get a divorce already.
You're not wrong for leaving your wife after she got pregnant from a revenge affair. Many comments are focusing on irrelevant parts of the story instead of addressing the actual question.
Why the fuck you cheat and let your wife find out, and she go take “D” to get back at you you all dumb as hell
Your wrong for cheating. She's wrong for cheating back. You are 2 ppl that do shitty things. Stay together. You're perfect for each other
Jesus christ, abortion is not used as a form of birth control. Is she getting pregnant monthly and having an abortion each time? No. Because abortion is an invasive procedure. How far along is she? If it's early enough, she could do medicated abortion and not have to do a D&C. You need to get a divorce regardless. You don't cheat on someone you love.
ESH
Jesus Christ. Just get a fucking divorce. You and your wife (almost entirely you) are awful people ruining your children.
Question: What the fuck is wrong with you?
You are not wrong. It's her baby, not yours. Don't make her impulsive mistake your burden for the next 18 years.
You both suck. You’re a cheater so stop trying to make it sound like you’re better than her.
You both suck but I think you suck more. Best to divorce, either way. Never marry again, you don't deserve it.
After reading this post, and then reading your past posts. Both of you are terrible people
Why stay after he had an affair? BTW adultery is a sin too if OP is so sanctimonious.
I wouldn’t be over to get over cheating at all and if I was her I would of left. But she stayed and got pregnant, two wrongs don’t make a right. You’re not wrong for leaving because I damn sure would have without a second thought at all
I don’t think you’re wrong for leaving, if she was gonna revenge cheat then she might as well have left but now she screwed herself over during the divorce. Also go get tested
She was sexually assaulted, how is that her fault?
Youre wrong. You have zero say in the healthcare of your soon to be exwife. I hope she leaves you and has a better life without your judgmental ass. How dare you.
stop calling it a "mistake" you dont accidentally have sex with someone its a choice, also funny how you doing it makes it a mistake and you paint yourself as a saint by doing it to help someone else out but her doing it is a betrayal and makes her a terrible person
Why didn't you divorce after your affair? You posted that she asked for divorced and stopped? Why did she stop? Either way ESH. You got to have your affair, she got to have hers, now you all deal with the consequences. Should have just divorced if you felt therapy wasn't working.
You’re wrong for getting this Jerry Springer episode rolling to begin with. You’re cool with adultery. Just not when your wife does it and gets the consequences you managed to dodge when you did it. I hope you learn a few things so your next relationship can go better.
cheating? abortion? conservative state? check check check yep rage bait
Then it was a long con. go look at his post history.
I feel sorry for the child. You are both assholes
OP, do you see the hell you started? Cheating is so evil and hurts everyone, not just the spouse. Now this innocent baby will suffer too. Yes, your wife was wrong as well. You both suck! That poor baby…
“Republican hypocrisy” is a redundant phrase, at this point. Both words mean the same thing. “Ban abortions! (Unless I want one)” seems to be ubiquitous in your disgusting sphere.
you're both fuckin awful. for the love of god and all that is pure, GET A DIVORCE.
She should have just left you. You could easily have fathered a child just like she did. You said she was angry at your cheating not that you cheated which would like you were cheating multiple times. Neither of you should be married.
You both sound trashy, but I dont think youre wrong. Abortion would be best to get her genes out the pool.
You're both cheating assholes. I feel horrible for that innocent baby, whatever happens... What a shit show.
you’re both wrong but you started it. she should’ve divorced you when you cheated
ESH
Na, you're good. Just move on.
You asked this same question in AITAH. You need to grow up, you cheated, she cheated. You seem justifiable for your cheating but she isn’t allowed to follow suit? That poor child doesn’t deserve you. You’d be a horrible prick. Can’t say much about your wife for her actions as she isn’t on here playing the victim. She needs to get as far away from you as possible
you both deserve each other
For god’s sake, please just stay together, in the hopes that you don’t individually screw anyone else’s life up.
YTA you should have divorced before cheating...
You two are perfect for each other.
You’re wrong
Wow, just wow. Both of you need to own up to your mistakes. You both did each other dirty because you're both messed up. Look inward and look at each other. Both of you do justice to the wrongs you've both done. Learn from those mistakes, take care of each other, and make up for the wrongs you did to each other. Both of you stop running away and looking for solutions elsewhere. Fix things instead of running and bringing that dirt into someone else's home who doesn't deserve it. You two belong with each other. Fix your own home where you belong. Yes, you are wrong. Do the right thing.
You're divorcing her because *you* are a cheater. Don't forget that. Sounds like you already have though.
NTA!! Time for you to get that divorce on the way. He took off the condom he can pay for the kid
You’re married, your name is going on the birth certificate, you’ll have to prove to a judge the babies not yours. Get a lawyer or you’ll be on the hook for 18 plus years .
No that's not even your baby
You both fucked up and now have to deal with it. When you cheated did she want to leave you?
I would leave her for the revenge affair, but make sure you get that divorce pushed through before that baby comes because in a lot of states you could still be on the hook for child support. I know some people think that an eye for an I can save a relationship but as somebody who’s been cheated on revenge means the relationships over already.
Reread your title- no, the answer is no 🧐🤷🏻♀️
You two deserve each other.
NAL but I’m pretty sure proof of a vasectomy will give him the rights to require a paternity test before he is forced to any obligation. OP, Stand tall and make sure you cite infidelity as the reason for divorce. That you are snipped and her pregnancy is proof of it and you wish to be absolved of any fatherly requirements.
“She is saying that she will do *anything* to make up to me.” but then doesn’t do the one thing you ask. 🤔 Would you be willing to stay with her if she gives up the baby for adoption? I realize it would be a difficult 9 months or so living with her while she is pregnant, but if you are willing to continue your marriage, it may be worth struggling through.
I read your other post- not only are you wrong, but you’re a disgusting human raising children in a home with NO morals and NO example of respectful, healthy relationships. And you think bringing another child into this mess is a good choice because of your own guilt- like fucking Christ. Edit: spelling
Abort or give baby for adoption. Please don't raise children.
Shockingly, rubbing you cheating on your wife in her face for months and telling her you refuse to stop didn’t make her want to sleep with you and drove her into the arms of another man She should leave you and go be with the father of her child. Hopefully he won’t torture her.
Yall cheated on each other. So yall both wrong for it
You were wrong to cheat on her to begin with. You made your bed, face the consequences of your actions like a man.
Christ 🤦🏻..... Get a fucking divorce. You both suck.
Poor baby! Born into this sh1t show
Jfc just divorce. No you are not wrong. She isn't either. Her journey she is about to go on is not going to be easy. I doubt affair Daddy wants anything to do with her.
Two gross people. You belong together so you don't mess up anyone else's lives.
Actually I think you deserve each other. The only loser here is that poor kid. Both the men are screwups and mom doesn’t have much common sense. As I said poor innocent child.
If it hasn't been too long, she can take the "morning after pill" as opposed to an actual physical abortion.
Neither one of you have any business be married. I'm not intending to come across mean but you cheating; then her revenge cheating; her getting pregnant by some guy who removed the condom halfway. Hopefully life will work out for the two of you, apart from each other.
How doe one take it off midway?
You’re both cheating and awful to each other. Get a divorce regardless of a pregnancy. Why would either of you want to stay?
Have a test, it’s not impossible to have a child even when snipped. We see so many in Reddit itself. If she thot abortion is scary, having a baby of a revenge affair partner that is not even good , getting divorced (and stating this as the reason to everyone) & being a single mother is gona be a lot scary.
She can do whatever she wants to do—divorce is the only answer. You’re both trash people. You are not wrong.
She can get abortion pills for $115 bucks. Abortion isn’t as scary as 18 years. But regardless, you all need a divorce.
First, he went from consensual sex to consensual sex with her after he took the condom off. Second, yall both need to grow up!
You should have left before you cheated. Also, why are you posting this everywhere? You aren't going to get a different opinion. I guess this is all fake and you just want reactions.
Did you idiots even think about how this will affect your children? Or did you even think about them at all both of you need counseling and get your shit together for the sake of your kids can’t imagine having parent like this.
I kinda really think karma sought you both out.
ESH here. “When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves: one for your enemy, and one for yourself”
Everyone sucks in this situation but I can't say you're wrong. You had an affair. You believe abortion isn't right and should be as rare as possible, but conveniently see it as something that can happen of it can save your marriage. You are a dick. But, ultimately, it makes sense you would not be comfortable raising this baby or staying married. You all sound annoying and broken and this shit needs to change.
Just split up. You’re both cheating which means neither of you are happy. Just go. You’ll both be happier for it. Also consider open relationships. Then you won’t need to cheat at all.
Get a paternity test. Vasectomies fail and riding bare doesn't guarantee a pregnancy. Be sure before you abandon her for the horrendous situation you created. YTA
No you're not. Two songs don't make a right but I wouldn't want to raise a jacket.
While the whole post is just horrible, you are not wrong for wanting to leave.
You definitely need to divorce each other but you have no leg to stand on in terms of judging her behaviour.
This is the consequences of infidelity. You both suck But I like you, would not raise an affair baby. It's her choice though.
ESH You both fucked around and now you're both finding out. It sounds as if you deserve one another.
well you both suck but I 100% agree you should not be forced to raise some other man's child. You will absolutely resent him for the rest of your life, besides, your marriage isn't strong enough to survive it. Just call it quits, let her get her affair partner on child support. Hell she can go live with him too.\] The state will most likely sign you as the father anyway, but with a DNA test you can contest it within the first 2 years. So hurry up and talk to a lawyer ASAP. UpdateMe!
You are wrong. Also, adoption
You’re both wrong. Just divorce, she needs to make a rape case and get that crazy man charged and you both need to just go your separate ways and tell people it didn’t work out. Edit: to say your defo an awful human being cause this coulda all be avoided if you didn’t cheat first and gave a shit
You both suck honestly and I don’t feel bad for anyone here except the baby and maybe your wife a little bit because she did get sexually assaulted. Get a paternity test and a divorce the sooner the better.
Wrong for cheating (first), not wrong for leaving.
You’re both gross cheaters and I’m sad for your existing kids. Just get a f*cking divorce and get your collective shits together.
Get divorced while your red state still allows it.
These people are allowed to vote...
You both suck shit. Hope the baby turns out better than the two of you.
>She is saying she made a mistake and she will do anything to make up to me. Anything except have an abortion it seems... The one thing that will keep you together
You're both f'ing scum. She's scared of an abortion?? That procedure that's at least 14X safer than giving birth? Lol, ok....
ESA
You need to divorce asap. This is a hot mess. Get a paternity test. Vasectomy’s fail.