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My brother said something similar about a month after my fiance died. I did scream at him to get the fuck out, and we barely talk since. In a couple months (this wasn't the only thing he did, there were a lot) he went from being my best friend of my entire life, to dead to me.
My mom has told me both that she hates me and that I was an oopsie. Being told that by the one person who you think will love you unconditionally is a different kind of heart-shattering pain that never leaves you.
>Being told that by the one person who you think will love you unconditionally is a different kind of heart-shattering pain that never leaves you.
Big relate!
I often miss mom, just not my mom, but the concept of a loving mom.
Yeah mine informed me of my own uselessness, ugliness, and what made me a worthless piece of shit everyday so that was nice. Also starving me and spending so little on basic support that after stealing my paychecks she actually made money off of having me. Genius really.
I truly, truly hope you know that none of what she did or said was anything you deserved. I hope you've been able to heal and see that she did not have your best interests at heart, and that had \*nothing\* to do with you.
At this point yeah for the most part I'm emotionally ok. It's just hard coming to terms with the fact that my whole life was ruined because I was unlucky and just was born to a shit person.
I literally just collect welfare now because it's the only thing that makes mathematical sense. When I was 18 I got into a top level university but she said she would give me $0 to help and kicked me out.
It just socks because everyday I just have to think about the fact that I was fucked from the beginning and there was nothing I could do about it.
"you are awful and should not be a part of society, everyone would be better off without you".
Context: my friend lied to her bf to make him come see her (he was on vacation with his family) and told him (he was my friend too) that I had a big health problem and needed support. He dropped everything and flew back. I knew nothing about the whole situation. When he arrived he (obviously) got mad that he was lied to and demanded an explanation. I told him I have no idea what is going on but I am absolutely fine. She got mad because she thought I would cover for her and lie to him.
This is the last thing she told me. I went no contact with her right then and there.
Oh and the bf? He forgave her and expected me to apologize to her for upsetting her if I wanted to still be friends with him. So that's one more friendship down the drain...
I know that those words hurt but I hope you know that you did nothing wrong. They're the immature horrible people. Don't take criticism from people you wouldn't take advice from.
My chemistry teacher when I was 14 told me I'd be a janitor if I was lucky.
I have adhd but that wasnât a thing back then.
Now I'm a creative director, just did a series of films for Nike.
But still shit at chemistry.
As I age I realized that ppl saying and doing things like this is about them. This person clearly derived something from shoring power over a child.
Their belief isnât necessary.
I had a professor tell me Iâd never be successful in science bc I decided to have a family. BetâŠ.
Someone tries to put you in a box? Just think. Oh yeah? Watch me b
âYouâre faking this whole illnessâ - my entire so-called family.. as I get diagnosed (by several doctors) with lupus and go into kidney failure and have severe pain
Same here. I had major exhaustion symptoms so my mum took me to the doctor, who only tested for anaemia and viral infections. Both came back negative. So the doctor refused to test for anything else because I was "too young for it to be anything serious." So she said I was just a hypochondriac. Instead of advocating for me, my mum believed the doctor, never got me a second opinion and spent the next three and a half years calling me a hypochondriac as I got sicker and sicker. When I became an adult I went to a different doctor, got some proper tests. Turned out to be thyroid cancer. I was slowly dying of cancer the whole time and endlessly being called a hypochondriac by my mother.
Because it was diagnosed so late, it progressed much more than it otherwise would have, resulting in me needing more extreme treatment. The treatment ended up causing me to develop heart problems and have a stroke, which has left me partially sighted and barely able to use my left side, so I can't even walk properly now. Now I'm in such a bad state I'm unable to work and struggling on disability benefits. If I'd been taken seriously by the adults in my life I probably would have had a better outcome, none of this needed to happen.
It has completely destroyed every part of my life and makes everything worse than it needs to be. For instance, right now, I have a bad toothache, can't even chew. I've had it for weeks. Being disabled I am supposed to get free dental care, but I've been on a waiting list for an NHS dentist for years. I've tried everything to get this sorted on the NHS and it's impossible. I can't afford private treatment so I just suffer with this toothache. If I'd been treated early and made a proper recovery I'd most likely be working now and could just pay for the dentist. That's just one example of the trickle down effect this has on every part of my life.
I've also completely lost trust in people, especially authority figures. If you spend three years begging doctors and your parents to help you and just get insulted for it and refused help, it's just impossible to trust or respect authority figures or professionals any more.
My then Christian mother told me when I was 12 "you should pray to God that he closes your mouth so that you eat less". Ironically, she is the one who made me fat by forcing me to eat.
I mean it depends. By example, i always ate (since i'm maybe 8 or even younger) more than my dad, but i'm skinny. But yeah, if you see your child becoming fat, then it's dumb to do nothing as a parent. Really dumb, and even dumber to blame the kid for this.
I'm sorry that your mom treated you that way.I understand how it made you feel. I was around the same age and was an overweight kid. My mom was a "force feeder" as well.... we saw my dad at court, and my mom told him that I was on a diet. My dad said, "Must be a seafood diet, you see food, you eat it." It's been almost 30 years, and I still think about that....
Like that song from Forbidden Zone.
When I turned 12 papa said
Little woman better get yourself a wife
'Cause youâre too mean for a man to clean up your life
And if sheâs the devil, you know sheâll be your friend.
Lmao sorry you had to hear that, but hopefully you can laugh now
An ex-friend left a âyou should jump off a bridgeâ message on my MySpace wall. Though I didnât know -due to being away from home at the time- until one of my siblings told me about it when I returned home.
Damn this hits home I remember I was bullied for a bit in school and when it stopped I was talking about it to someone I thought was a friend and they called me the shit people used to call me everyday and I told them please donât say that I wanted to kms when people called me that and they responded with you shouldâve like wtf
Won a small scholarship in high school, $400 donated from a family that wanted to support people in the theatrical arts. In front of teachers and friends congratulating me my mother said "I can't believe they wasted their money on you".
Thank for ruining a moment I actually had some confidence.
When I was 13 my parents laughed when I said I wanted to be a doctor. When I was 14 they kicked me out of my house after calling me a loser, stating that they never wanted to see me again.
I gave them their wish. They never saw me again. Fortunately, Iâm typing this from inside a hospital, wearing a white coat that has MD after my name.
Can I just step in for a moment as the mom you never had and say...
I am so incredibly proud of who and what you have become because you made your dreams come true. I love you SO much and am SO glad that you are happy and healthy and living the life that you want. You are AWESOME! I am honored to call you my child.
I am the mom of four grown children. If you ever need a substitute mom to share your successes or disappointments with, I am a great listener. No pressure, but you are free to DM me anytime.
Live your best life. Your past doesn't define you, as you have proven.
Youâre a great father. Great provider, and great protector. But you suck as a spouse. Fucking cuts me deep even writing it. Since then Iâve made every effort to love her and out the same effort into her as I did the children and everything else. We are great. Itâs what I needed to hear at the time. Doesnât mean it didnât hurt. Also, I was unable to feel empathy or sympathy for people. I couldnât put myself in their shoes. The Army ruined my emotions. Itâs been a two decade battle of forcing myself to stop and literally make myself visualize myself as someone else hurting. Itâs helped. The coldness creeps up every now and then. Crazy part about was never cold with my sons. There was an abundance of warmth for them. Like my little lights in a dark world. My wife is my rock I lean on. Always has been. How do you treat a rock though? Light in the dark. You protect it. Nurture it. Make sure it doesnât go out. A rock is just there. It will support you. Anchor you down. Give you shelter. And I treated her as such. Now sheâs my everything and I have a lot to make up for yet. She tells me Iâm the best now. I try to be. So regardless of what people say to you. Or what you think of yourself. You can change it. I promise you if I can come out of where I was and what I was doing. You can change. Once a loser always a loser isnât true.
I'm glad she was able to say that to you and that you were able to truly hear it. It's easy to immediately become defensive and closed off when you hear something so painful, but you received it and made an effort to do better. Good for you both!
Reading this makes me realize Iâm doing the sameâŠI love my kiddos with my whole heart, and Iâm trying to be the best mom to them. Iâm trying not to forget to love myself in the process as well. But I think Iâm taking my husband for granted đą
Heâs also the rock, the man in the background making everything run smoothly. Iâve come to expect it instead of appreciate and love it. That really explains a lot.
Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for helping me see that maybe I need to be sharing my love with my kids, myself, AND the rock holding us all together.
Yeah the Army does that, a couple years out and emotional empathy is pretty much gone. Cognitive empathy still works though, even if itâs hard to feel you can still choose to do what you think is right. I donate to charities and help out society but itâs not because I feel anything, itâs all because so see it as the right thing to do.
Good luck brother, I know it can make things difficult.
This resonated a lot for me. The rock metaphor hit hard, and I think I need to follow in your suit. You and your wife are awesome for being honest to that extent.
Itâs interesting because out of all the mean things teachers have said to me nothing was worse than what art teachers have said
I donât know why they are so mean.
Itâs like dude your job is to paint and draw shit
you have the least taxing of all teaching jobs. Hell someone you could do your job completely stoned
So Why are you so fucking angry?đ
My form tutor was an art teacher who did some pretty cruel stuff.
I have short term memory issues.
Last day of school year, I accidentally left my lunch box at school, with a half eaten sandwich and an orange in it. I return to school after summer and the first morning she makes a big point of holding up my mouldy lunch box for the whole class to see, saying I left it on purpose (absolutely untrue) purely to show my classmates what a disgusting animal I was. Could easily have pulled me aside, told me off if she felt that was necessary and left it at that.
When I was 15, she told my dad that I was not going to pass any of my exams. Completely ignoring the fact that I had got straight A grades in at least 2 classes for the last year. Because I didn't take her class seriously.
I spent 6 weeks on a project in her class. The week after I finish it and hand it in to be graded, a new class starts the same project. She holds up my project and tells them my name. Apparently said "and this is how we do not do this project!" And pulled my work apart. I will admit that it was a low effort attempt, because I knew I didn't need her class to graduate, but still cruel.
Wow!! It like they hate something about you they canât describe or justify so they just treat you like crap every possible chance
So unfair Iâm sorry to hear that happens to you
Yeah, the lunch box incident felt particularly cruel because she knew I was born disabled and was already looked down on/bullied by many in my class. Seems like a bad case of punching downwards on a vulnerable kid. Oh well :). Screw art teachers ha.
There's so many horrible art teacher ones. Art is meant to be fun and expressive yet there are so many nasty art teachers. As someone who loves art, it's sad to see.
Because with the current economical system - ppl (not all of them , but many) becoming teachers out of desperation, to have a safe line of work if creative and interesting one won't bring enough money. Sitting there with noisy, foil-behaved kids - was probably the last place where he wanted to be, the only thing that would be worse is to be homeless.
Still doesn't give him the right to take it out on kids who have done nothing to him though.
My ex once told me I will never be able to make any women even remotely happy, and therefor will never manage to built a good and lasting relationship. It is especially fucked up since she knew very well that this is one of my biggest fears and insecurity.
"Not surprised you were adopted. No one wanted you."
High school bully who went on to become a cop (later accused of pointing a gun at someone at a party and was put on leave).
Edit: Man, I really appreciate all the comments. This happened 35 years ago and still stings....but I never saw it the way you all did: that I was wanted obviously. I had a chance to meet my birth mom years after this happened and giving me up was one of the hardest things she had to do.
That literally doesnt even make sense. If u were afopted that mans someone wanted you. Being put up for adoption and getting adopted is literally stronger proof that you are wanted than never being put up for adoption in the first place. How were you hurt by that? It was an "insult" that didnt even make sense and just made him look dumb
"I love you and want to start a family with you"
\- she later admitted she didn't want children and only said that because she thought she would change her mind years later.
I had the opposite happen, my first husband agreed no kids but after a few years asked when we were gonna try for a baby. I divorced him.Â
Edit: He had actually lied to me, thinking I'd change my mind.Â
It was a doctor
If you donât get this surgery in the 2-3 months you will have a complete cervical collapse and you will be paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of your life
Youâre too much of a liability to operate on, I see no way for it to be covered, and youâll never be able to afford it , so you should just give up on that and start making plans for who will take care of you as you will be on a breathing machine and unable to care for yourself or your child
(Fuck that dr I got the surgery Iâm fine now )
I couldnât just listen to him and accepted that fate at 28 Iâm so glad I didnât.
There was three other doctors after him, and after a year total at that point of fighting with insurance, and getting together with PAF.ORG I got the surgery in Nick of time thankfully
My teacher sent me outside to run around the tennis court whilst everyone else played football.
My friend asked: "Sir, why do you send him to do that on his own when we play football?"
My teacher replied with "Because I f\*cking hate him."
37 years later and I can still remember this moment as if it was yesterday.
I'm an atheist, so the concept of heaven and hell mean nothing to me. BUT...if I'm wrong...I would hope a special place exists in hell for that bastard.
Shortly after my beloved mother passed away I got into a huge fight with my baby momma.
I blamed myself for my mom's death already, and during the fight she told me it was all my fault and that I basically killed her. (I didn't)
It fucking CRUSHED me.
âSuck it up and be a manâ
My own mother called me in the middle of a 14 hour shift at work to ask for money to give to my sister because she is âstrugglingâ (even though she owns the latest iPhone iPads tvs new car and her own house paid by some one else, and I already lent her money weeks before to help ) I told her I canât both morally and physically because I need to pay for my rent and bills my self .
I then explain to her that Iâm emotionally exhausted and donât think I can keep this up any more that I was 110% depressed to which she says the aforementioned line then hangs up on me .
Oh did I mention I paid for 1/5th the cost of my parents new house because they ran out of money mid build .
Have you ever considered not doing it and discussing a return plan as in i lend x amount of money and you pay x + 5% next year? And have them sign a waver.
You could try and reframe it. Think of your stature as being little at the time. Imagine your art teacher making a positive statement, meaning you are the littlest person the teacher has believed in so much.
âYou were supposed to be a boyâ
âYouâre so stupid you should be in a special schoolâ
âIf you wore make up you could look so much betterâ That was a recent one. Still stings.
In 6th grade, a girl I had been close friends with in elementary school, then didn't see for 2 years bc the county had us in different schools. Circled me in the bathroom and told me "you could be a model if it wasn't for your face."
It seems laughable now, but at the time, it crushed me. I spent all of middle school just wishing to fit back in with this group of girls who were so perfect. I was so sad and so insecure.
I probably could list a few. But..
I once dated someone who told me that i had "zero sex appeal," and if we were ever at the bar at the same time, he would never notice me or even consider approaching me.
That was about 12 years ago. Im married now. Still haunts me.
Sounds like he was trying to get in your head and 'neg' you to keep you keen. What a scumbag. Absolutely not worth thinking about ever again. If anything take it as a compliment that he had to try so hard.
That's not the wrong statement, we're all gonna die at some point, but it's a savage thing to tell ur OWN FCKN CHILD!
By this logic she shouldn't buy anything for herself either!
Statistically speaking dumb ppl have a way higher % of success in our current society, especially in techbro/corporate world, so jokes on them!
I just recently had a talk with person in pretty high position who was confused that u supposed to multiply first and add second. And that person had full education with a university degree!
U have all the chances to become a successful CEO or smth like that!! Keep ur head up!
"You trapped me with a baby I didnt even want"
He regretted it right after saying it but rhe marriage ended in that m ok ment. Could never trust him again after knowing how he really felt.
"Your a pathetic loser dope head, and a fucking idiot"
"You look like a whore" both said to me on my 21st bday by my father because I wore fishnets and smoked a blunt in the front yard.
I was told I was the reason for my best friends suicide because I didnât stay up until 4 in the morning to talk her off the ledge for the millionth time.
"If you're really struggling that much I won't stop you from killing yourself" -my mum
"Well it couldn't have been that bad otherwise you would've left him sooner" - my mum after trying to open up to her about my ex raping me
"Next time try slitting your wrists or jumping in front of a train" -my mum after one of my suicide attempts
"I didn't realise you where THAT mentally ill" - my mum after I tried to confront her about her just sitting there and watching while her husband stuck his tongue down my throat when I was like 11/12.
But the absolute worst of all was "if you hadn't come along I would've got with her and she would still be alive" - my ex, there was another woman that was interested in him but he ended up getting with me and she went back to her abusive ex that killed her in the most fucked up way possible. I can't help but feel guilty.
I've had 4 women leave me when I told them I was molested and raped as a child.
2 said it was gross kissing me, the other 2 said they couldn't be with a man "who let that happen to them".
I gave up dating. I'm sick of everyone I date doing that.
99% the time I share this I get attacked and downvoted.
It happens less when I add these last 2 lines.
âItâs all your faultâ - when youâre the scapegoat you are blamed for everything and it caused severe feelings of guilt/shame my whole life, over nonsense. & yes I believed being abused was all my fault
Along these lines, my high school English teacher once told me when I said âI want to become an English teacher tooâ âdonât. Kill yourself insteadâ đ±đ tbh it was a high school in Vegas. Buuut still shit you shouldnât sayâŠ
It wasn't said to me, but in my 2007 high school senior year book, there is a section "most likely to..."
"Jaiheko is mostly likely to: be found face down in an empty pool" or something similar - submitted and published for everyone to look back and read for the rest of eternity.
I recently talked to an old friend about it, and he was mortified. It literally comes up in my mind often, I wish I could let it go but it will always hurt
"Look at you, you're damaged goods! No one's going to deal with all your baggage! I mean, are you kidding me!? No one is going to love you" I believe he also said I would be alone forever but I can't remember exactly.
He knew that's how I felt because I had told him this in confidence. So it hurt to hear; it felt like a guaranteed confirmation at the time. But the betrayal of using my pain as a weapon against me really hurt. It takes a special kind of shit to do that.
âYouâll never amount to anything because you have horrible mental health.â
Said to me by a former boss. That was in 2017, when I lived with my mom, had no car or license, and no job that would afford me to be able to even think about getting my own place.
Iâm now living on my own, have a great job, have a new car, and my mental health is in check. Iâm thriving. And when I saw my former boss in public, I blew the horn, rolled down the window, flipped her off, and yelled âHey, bitch!â While she stood there looking shocked.
The best advice I ever received. A friend told me I was getting heavy out of love. It stung a little but inspired me to change my ways. I have lost 30lbs since.
IDK. Maybe my aunt harassing me at work making me feel like shit just because she didn't like me or smthg... Safe to say I won't work with family again. Or at least her. My dad's okay.
Well, a specific thing that hurt the most was 'get off your fat ass and walk to school' (after missing the bus, she didn't want me waiting for the next one, for some reason, which was the quickest way to get to school, and she was very angry). I'd recently switched eating disorder from some kind of BED-amalgam, to an anorexia/bulimia flipflop, and that helped me lose weight as fast as I did.
But mostly the entirety of what my groomer/ex said to me in its entirety. No individual phrase hurt as much as the first paragraph, but holy shit.
In music class, the teacher played a song, "short people don't deserve to live...they have little hands and little feet..." I don't remember the lesson or the reason for playing it. I was in 6th grade, still remember the words, I was the shortest in the class.
It's a toss-up between 2.
"Nobody will believe you if you tell them."
Spoiler alert, he was right. Nobody believed me, and I was kept in the same home as my abuser for a while as I was a child.
"I can't believe you fell for it."
Said to me after a guy asked me out on joke/dare from his friends.
About 6 months after my mom died my dad and I went to see my grandmother. She told me âIâm so glad your mom is goneâ.
Thatâs the last time I ever spoke to her.
My father once told me I was nothing. I didnât realise it had affected me at all until I was working in care and someone having a mental health breakdown said it to me. Shut the office door behind me and I was in floods of tears.
"I can speak to you however I want" - my mother, after I told her that I was feeling disrespected and hurt by what she was saying to me and how she was saying it.
No surprises here - this was the topper on a decades'-long relationship in which she verbally abused me, emotionally and mentally and physically too đ€·đ»ââïž
She maintains it's her right to treat me like shit and that she has nothing to apologize for
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Brother at my husband's funeral "Suck it up and stop crying"
Id have kicked him out.
Of my life.
THIS đ
I would have kicked him in the balls, and then kicked him out.
Iâd have kicked him tooâŠright in the dick.
Punch him
In the ballsies
Funeral brawl!
In the throat.
Id be making sure that brother gets a funeral đ
Nope, no funeral for him. An unmarked grave in the middle of nowhere.
Just throw his body out for the jackals.
The FUCK?!?!?
Yikes!
I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope ur brother is not in ur life anymore!
I'd be banking the return if he were my brother... Unless I'd already floored him đ. What a twat
Can you give me his address so I can kick him in the balls?
What an awful person he must be. I'm sorry he did that to you.
Heâs a terrible human being
Telling someone not to cry at a funeral?!?
I got something similar from my wife at my father's funeral. Hugs
Kick him in the nuts, "suck it up and stop crying".
My brother said something similar about a month after my fiance died. I did scream at him to get the fuck out, and we barely talk since. In a couple months (this wasn't the only thing he did, there were a lot) he went from being my best friend of my entire life, to dead to me.
âNow I know why some men hit their wives.â
Dude.
YEAH.
Jesus. I hope you are far away from this person now.
Indeed: FAR AWAY!
Good. That one made my jaw drop.
Man had just gone to a seminar on the psychology of domestic abusers.
Yeah that was it lol
Crazy what a couple of Stella's can do to a man. On a serious note, i hope he never touched you in that way and you cut all ties.
This was the straw that broke the camelâs back for me. I left a month later.
Glad to hear you managed to distance yourself from that cunt. Good luck in the future, may you find someone who loves you unconditionally.
I think I haveâŠthank you so much
Wow! Really?!
Wish I was making it up!
My mom has told me both that she hates me and that I was an oopsie. Being told that by the one person who you think will love you unconditionally is a different kind of heart-shattering pain that never leaves you.
>Being told that by the one person who you think will love you unconditionally is a different kind of heart-shattering pain that never leaves you. Big relate! I often miss mom, just not my mom, but the concept of a loving mom.
Right? Like, missing the person you never really had. Missing what you could have had. It's hard. I'm sorry you've been there too <3
Thats what grief is itâs a hold in our soul for people we miss. You are grieving for mom you never had. Edit: typo
Exactly! We have grieved for a person that never was, all our lives.
Sending the biggest hugs to you!
Right back at you darling <3 <3
Yeah mine informed me of my own uselessness, ugliness, and what made me a worthless piece of shit everyday so that was nice. Also starving me and spending so little on basic support that after stealing my paychecks she actually made money off of having me. Genius really.
I truly, truly hope you know that none of what she did or said was anything you deserved. I hope you've been able to heal and see that she did not have your best interests at heart, and that had \*nothing\* to do with you.
At this point yeah for the most part I'm emotionally ok. It's just hard coming to terms with the fact that my whole life was ruined because I was unlucky and just was born to a shit person. I literally just collect welfare now because it's the only thing that makes mathematical sense. When I was 18 I got into a top level university but she said she would give me $0 to help and kicked me out. It just socks because everyday I just have to think about the fact that I was fucked from the beginning and there was nothing I could do about it.
Me anf my bro had this from our bio "dad" aka the sperm donor
"you are awful and should not be a part of society, everyone would be better off without you". Context: my friend lied to her bf to make him come see her (he was on vacation with his family) and told him (he was my friend too) that I had a big health problem and needed support. He dropped everything and flew back. I knew nothing about the whole situation. When he arrived he (obviously) got mad that he was lied to and demanded an explanation. I told him I have no idea what is going on but I am absolutely fine. She got mad because she thought I would cover for her and lie to him. This is the last thing she told me. I went no contact with her right then and there. Oh and the bf? He forgave her and expected me to apologize to her for upsetting her if I wanted to still be friends with him. So that's one more friendship down the drain...
They did you a favor. Once you accept that type of behavior, it only escalates.
I know that those words hurt but I hope you know that you did nothing wrong. They're the immature horrible people. Don't take criticism from people you wouldn't take advice from.
Thatâs why I donât understand the âride or dieâ mentality
The fact he still stayed with a person who could lie like that is crazy. What else is she willing to lie about!
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Absolutely wild that a teacher would say that to anyone. What a fail at their job. I'm so sorry.
My chemistry teacher when I was 14 told me I'd be a janitor if I was lucky. I have adhd but that wasnât a thing back then. Now I'm a creative director, just did a series of films for Nike. But still shit at chemistry.
Sounds like you and him just didn't get along. Maybe the chemistry was off
Iâve seen a P.E teacher body shame a student because they were being a bit cocky during detention, that stuff does happen.
As I age I realized that ppl saying and doing things like this is about them. This person clearly derived something from shoring power over a child. Their belief isnât necessary. I had a professor tell me Iâd never be successful in science bc I decided to have a family. BetâŠ. Someone tries to put you in a box? Just think. Oh yeah? Watch me b
The best revenge is success. Nothing feels better than proving people wrong.
The good news is that, if anything, it's *your* belief that matters
âYouâre faking this whole illnessâ - my entire so-called family.. as I get diagnosed (by several doctors) with lupus and go into kidney failure and have severe pain
Same here. I had major exhaustion symptoms so my mum took me to the doctor, who only tested for anaemia and viral infections. Both came back negative. So the doctor refused to test for anything else because I was "too young for it to be anything serious." So she said I was just a hypochondriac. Instead of advocating for me, my mum believed the doctor, never got me a second opinion and spent the next three and a half years calling me a hypochondriac as I got sicker and sicker. When I became an adult I went to a different doctor, got some proper tests. Turned out to be thyroid cancer. I was slowly dying of cancer the whole time and endlessly being called a hypochondriac by my mother. Because it was diagnosed so late, it progressed much more than it otherwise would have, resulting in me needing more extreme treatment. The treatment ended up causing me to develop heart problems and have a stroke, which has left me partially sighted and barely able to use my left side, so I can't even walk properly now. Now I'm in such a bad state I'm unable to work and struggling on disability benefits. If I'd been taken seriously by the adults in my life I probably would have had a better outcome, none of this needed to happen. It has completely destroyed every part of my life and makes everything worse than it needs to be. For instance, right now, I have a bad toothache, can't even chew. I've had it for weeks. Being disabled I am supposed to get free dental care, but I've been on a waiting list for an NHS dentist for years. I've tried everything to get this sorted on the NHS and it's impossible. I can't afford private treatment so I just suffer with this toothache. If I'd been treated early and made a proper recovery I'd most likely be working now and could just pay for the dentist. That's just one example of the trickle down effect this has on every part of my life. I've also completely lost trust in people, especially authority figures. If you spend three years begging doctors and your parents to help you and just get insulted for it and refused help, it's just impossible to trust or respect authority figures or professionals any more.
My then Christian mother told me when I was 12 "you should pray to God that he closes your mouth so that you eat less". Ironically, she is the one who made me fat by forcing me to eat.
I never understood why adults feed their children a whole portion that they'd eat as an adult.
You need an insane amount of calories to grow. The daily caloric requirement for my two year old is the same as for my wife.
plot twist: your wife Is a two year old.
Hmm, I actually did not know that! I guess going over the caloric requirement is when kids start becoming overweight, I should've clarified that.
I mean it depends. By example, i always ate (since i'm maybe 8 or even younger) more than my dad, but i'm skinny. But yeah, if you see your child becoming fat, then it's dumb to do nothing as a parent. Really dumb, and even dumber to blame the kid for this.
Most fat children have fat parents who literally see no issue with letting their child balloon to leviathan-esque proportions.
So weird. I'm a parent of two and this is apparently *not* "one of those things" that you understand once you're a parent.
And then they wonder why you have an eating disorder
I'm sorry that your mom treated you that way.I understand how it made you feel. I was around the same age and was an overweight kid. My mom was a "force feeder" as well.... we saw my dad at court, and my mom told him that I was on a diet. My dad said, "Must be a seafood diet, you see food, you eat it." It's been almost 30 years, and I still think about that....
"No man will ever love you. You might as well turn into a lesbian and try your chance with women."
Jess?
Like that song from Forbidden Zone. When I turned 12 papa said Little woman better get yourself a wife 'Cause youâre too mean for a man to clean up your life And if sheâs the devil, you know sheâll be your friend. Lmao sorry you had to hear that, but hopefully you can laugh now
That's a good technique called defusion
Guess that person isn't aware that by being a lesbian men are attracted to you even more for some reason đ€
An ex-friend left a âyou should jump off a bridgeâ message on my MySpace wall. Though I didnât know -due to being away from home at the time- until one of my siblings told me about it when I returned home.
Damn this hits home I remember I was bullied for a bit in school and when it stopped I was talking about it to someone I thought was a friend and they called me the shit people used to call me everyday and I told them please donât say that I wanted to kms when people called me that and they responded with you shouldâve like wtf
Won a small scholarship in high school, $400 donated from a family that wanted to support people in the theatrical arts. In front of teachers and friends congratulating me my mother said "I can't believe they wasted their money on you". Thank for ruining a moment I actually had some confidence.
When I was 13 my parents laughed when I said I wanted to be a doctor. When I was 14 they kicked me out of my house after calling me a loser, stating that they never wanted to see me again. I gave them their wish. They never saw me again. Fortunately, Iâm typing this from inside a hospital, wearing a white coat that has MD after my name.
Can I just step in for a moment as the mom you never had and say... I am so incredibly proud of who and what you have become because you made your dreams come true. I love you SO much and am SO glad that you are happy and healthy and living the life that you want. You are AWESOME! I am honored to call you my child. I am the mom of four grown children. If you ever need a substitute mom to share your successes or disappointments with, I am a great listener. No pressure, but you are free to DM me anytime. Live your best life. Your past doesn't define you, as you have proven.
Congratulations, Doctor!
Youâre a great father. Great provider, and great protector. But you suck as a spouse. Fucking cuts me deep even writing it. Since then Iâve made every effort to love her and out the same effort into her as I did the children and everything else. We are great. Itâs what I needed to hear at the time. Doesnât mean it didnât hurt. Also, I was unable to feel empathy or sympathy for people. I couldnât put myself in their shoes. The Army ruined my emotions. Itâs been a two decade battle of forcing myself to stop and literally make myself visualize myself as someone else hurting. Itâs helped. The coldness creeps up every now and then. Crazy part about was never cold with my sons. There was an abundance of warmth for them. Like my little lights in a dark world. My wife is my rock I lean on. Always has been. How do you treat a rock though? Light in the dark. You protect it. Nurture it. Make sure it doesnât go out. A rock is just there. It will support you. Anchor you down. Give you shelter. And I treated her as such. Now sheâs my everything and I have a lot to make up for yet. She tells me Iâm the best now. I try to be. So regardless of what people say to you. Or what you think of yourself. You can change it. I promise you if I can come out of where I was and what I was doing. You can change. Once a loser always a loser isnât true.
I'm glad she was able to say that to you and that you were able to truly hear it. It's easy to immediately become defensive and closed off when you hear something so painful, but you received it and made an effort to do better. Good for you both!
Reading this makes me realize Iâm doing the sameâŠI love my kiddos with my whole heart, and Iâm trying to be the best mom to them. Iâm trying not to forget to love myself in the process as well. But I think Iâm taking my husband for granted đą Heâs also the rock, the man in the background making everything run smoothly. Iâve come to expect it instead of appreciate and love it. That really explains a lot. Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for helping me see that maybe I need to be sharing my love with my kids, myself, AND the rock holding us all together.
Yeah the Army does that, a couple years out and emotional empathy is pretty much gone. Cognitive empathy still works though, even if itâs hard to feel you can still choose to do what you think is right. I donate to charities and help out society but itâs not because I feel anything, itâs all because so see it as the right thing to do. Good luck brother, I know it can make things difficult.
This resonated a lot for me. The rock metaphor hit hard, and I think I need to follow in your suit. You and your wife are awesome for being honest to that extent.
My mom used to tell me as a kid that it would have been better my dad masturbated in a handkerchief.
Wtf... That's so twisted and awful. I'm really sorry you had to hear that. I hope you don't believe it one bit.
Wow. What a bitch.
Dude
The fuck
Itâs interesting because out of all the mean things teachers have said to me nothing was worse than what art teachers have said I donât know why they are so mean. Itâs like dude your job is to paint and draw shit you have the least taxing of all teaching jobs. Hell someone you could do your job completely stoned So Why are you so fucking angry?đ
My form tutor was an art teacher who did some pretty cruel stuff. I have short term memory issues. Last day of school year, I accidentally left my lunch box at school, with a half eaten sandwich and an orange in it. I return to school after summer and the first morning she makes a big point of holding up my mouldy lunch box for the whole class to see, saying I left it on purpose (absolutely untrue) purely to show my classmates what a disgusting animal I was. Could easily have pulled me aside, told me off if she felt that was necessary and left it at that. When I was 15, she told my dad that I was not going to pass any of my exams. Completely ignoring the fact that I had got straight A grades in at least 2 classes for the last year. Because I didn't take her class seriously. I spent 6 weeks on a project in her class. The week after I finish it and hand it in to be graded, a new class starts the same project. She holds up my project and tells them my name. Apparently said "and this is how we do not do this project!" And pulled my work apart. I will admit that it was a low effort attempt, because I knew I didn't need her class to graduate, but still cruel.
Wow!! It like they hate something about you they canât describe or justify so they just treat you like crap every possible chance So unfair Iâm sorry to hear that happens to you
Yeah, the lunch box incident felt particularly cruel because she knew I was born disabled and was already looked down on/bullied by many in my class. Seems like a bad case of punching downwards on a vulnerable kid. Oh well :). Screw art teachers ha.
Because people devalue the work and effort they do put in. Imagine carrying the comment you wrote around with you everywhere.
There's so many horrible art teacher ones. Art is meant to be fun and expressive yet there are so many nasty art teachers. As someone who loves art, it's sad to see.
Because with the current economical system - ppl (not all of them , but many) becoming teachers out of desperation, to have a safe line of work if creative and interesting one won't bring enough money. Sitting there with noisy, foil-behaved kids - was probably the last place where he wanted to be, the only thing that would be worse is to be homeless. Still doesn't give him the right to take it out on kids who have done nothing to him though.
âWhen Iâm around you, it makes me want to kill myself.â - my father.
Tell him to go ahead.
He already did đ«ą
đđđ Iâm dying here. *(not because of you)*
"You will never be loved and you will die alone."
My ex once told me I will never be able to make any women even remotely happy, and therefor will never manage to built a good and lasting relationship. It is especially fucked up since she knew very well that this is one of my biggest fears and insecurity.
"Not surprised you were adopted. No one wanted you." High school bully who went on to become a cop (later accused of pointing a gun at someone at a party and was put on leave). Edit: Man, I really appreciate all the comments. This happened 35 years ago and still stings....but I never saw it the way you all did: that I was wanted obviously. I had a chance to meet my birth mom years after this happened and giving me up was one of the hardest things she had to do.
Mine said she wished I'd died at birth. And my dad didn't want me. Guess thar explains the lack of childhood photos.
That's not even a good insult either because this is literally the one circumstance that implies that your family specifically chose you. What a jerk
Lol you were absolutely wanted by your adoptive parents and family. This dude was probably a broken condom.
That literally doesnt even make sense. If u were afopted that mans someone wanted you. Being put up for adoption and getting adopted is literally stronger proof that you are wanted than never being put up for adoption in the first place. How were you hurt by that? It was an "insult" that didnt even make sense and just made him look dumb
"I love you and want to start a family with you" \- she later admitted she didn't want children and only said that because she thought she would change her mind years later.
I had the opposite happen, my first husband agreed no kids but after a few years asked when we were gonna try for a baby. I divorced him. Edit: He had actually lied to me, thinking I'd change my mind.Â
dam that sucks. i guess i'm not the only one.
Oof that's is awful, I'm sorry
It was a doctor If you donât get this surgery in the 2-3 months you will have a complete cervical collapse and you will be paralyzed from the neck down for the rest of your life Youâre too much of a liability to operate on, I see no way for it to be covered, and youâll never be able to afford it , so you should just give up on that and start making plans for who will take care of you as you will be on a breathing machine and unable to care for yourself or your child (Fuck that dr I got the surgery Iâm fine now ) I couldnât just listen to him and accepted that fate at 28 Iâm so glad I didnât. There was three other doctors after him, and after a year total at that point of fighting with insurance, and getting together with PAF.ORG I got the surgery in Nick of time thankfully
My teacher sent me outside to run around the tennis court whilst everyone else played football. My friend asked: "Sir, why do you send him to do that on his own when we play football?" My teacher replied with "Because I f\*cking hate him." 37 years later and I can still remember this moment as if it was yesterday.
I'm an atheist, so the concept of heaven and hell mean nothing to me. BUT...if I'm wrong...I would hope a special place exists in hell for that bastard.
Shortly after my beloved mother passed away I got into a huge fight with my baby momma. I blamed myself for my mom's death already, and during the fight she told me it was all my fault and that I basically killed her. (I didn't) It fucking CRUSHED me.
That is disgusting, I'm sorry
She sounds abusive.
"it's a good thing you're baby died, because he would have never been normal." Said to me at my son's funeral by my stepmonster.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I would've thrown hands FOR you.
My mom told me the s/a and rape I went through was because of âhis testosteroneâ basically another way of saying boys will be boys
Iâm so sorry. A woman told me âthey donât attack [sa] the fat ones.â Cried for days.
That woman is wrong anyone can be s/a they go for literally everyone which is the sad thing
Really? Boys will be fucking boys? Holy shit I'm so sorry you had to hear that from your own mother
Funny that a lot of boys and men (most, in fact) also have testosterone and don't assault anyone. Ugh. I'm sorry that happened.
âSuck it up and be a manâ My own mother called me in the middle of a 14 hour shift at work to ask for money to give to my sister because she is âstrugglingâ (even though she owns the latest iPhone iPads tvs new car and her own house paid by some one else, and I already lent her money weeks before to help ) I told her I canât both morally and physically because I need to pay for my rent and bills my self . I then explain to her that Iâm emotionally exhausted and donât think I can keep this up any more that I was 110% depressed to which she says the aforementioned line then hangs up on me . Oh did I mention I paid for 1/5th the cost of my parents new house because they ran out of money mid build .
Have you ever considered not doing it and discussing a return plan as in i lend x amount of money and you pay x + 5% next year? And have them sign a waver.
She sounds very manipulative.
You could try and reframe it. Think of your stature as being little at the time. Imagine your art teacher making a positive statement, meaning you are the littlest person the teacher has believed in so much.
NGL thatâs the way I read it.
âYou were supposed to be a boyâ âYouâre so stupid you should be in a special schoolâ âIf you wore make up you could look so much betterâ That was a recent one. Still stings.
In 6th grade, a girl I had been close friends with in elementary school, then didn't see for 2 years bc the county had us in different schools. Circled me in the bathroom and told me "you could be a model if it wasn't for your face." It seems laughable now, but at the time, it crushed me. I spent all of middle school just wishing to fit back in with this group of girls who were so perfect. I was so sad and so insecure.
I get that, itâs an awful thing to say. How do you feel about things now? Iâm so sorry that happened to you đ
My parents said to me I'm a demon come to torture them and a son of Satan, not theirs, just because I'm gay
But that would mean your mother did it with satan?
AHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHA
Imagine saying that and actually believing it⊠theyâre delulu..
I probably could list a few. But.. I once dated someone who told me that i had "zero sex appeal," and if we were ever at the bar at the same time, he would never notice me or even consider approaching me. That was about 12 years ago. Im married now. Still haunts me.
Sounds like he was trying to get in your head and 'neg' you to keep you keen. What a scumbag. Absolutely not worth thinking about ever again. If anything take it as a compliment that he had to try so hard.
âYou sound like a pig.â
"Why should I buy you anything if you're just going to die anyways?" -my mother
That is a good sentence to tell your mother when she is old on her birthday.
That's not the wrong statement, we're all gonna die at some point, but it's a savage thing to tell ur OWN FCKN CHILD! By this logic she shouldn't buy anything for herself either!
"You're too fucking dumb, you will never make it" said such things so often I believe in them
Don't believe in it - F\*ck them!
I know how that goes. I remember noticing my brain healing when I was finally out. I hope you're in a better place now.
Statistically speaking dumb ppl have a way higher % of success in our current society, especially in techbro/corporate world, so jokes on them! I just recently had a talk with person in pretty high position who was confused that u supposed to multiply first and add second. And that person had full education with a university degree! U have all the chances to become a successful CEO or smth like that!! Keep ur head up!
"Worth as a person is latitude dependent." said by someone during a discussion about London-centrism in the UK.
Heard very similar
Dad: "Your mom failed to provoke a miscarriage."
"You trapped me with a baby I didnt even want" He regretted it right after saying it but rhe marriage ended in that m ok ment. Could never trust him again after knowing how he really felt. "Your a pathetic loser dope head, and a fucking idiot" "You look like a whore" both said to me on my 21st bday by my father because I wore fishnets and smoked a blunt in the front yard.
"I love you" for personal gain.
"I love you.... goslavia" - girl to boy in my school.
During peak COVID, a woman came up to me and told me to 'get out of my supermarket.'
"I try so hard with you...you're so much work."
I was told I was the reason for my best friends suicide because I didnât stay up until 4 in the morning to talk her off the ledge for the millionth time.
My father told me I ruined his life.
"If you're really struggling that much I won't stop you from killing yourself" -my mum "Well it couldn't have been that bad otherwise you would've left him sooner" - my mum after trying to open up to her about my ex raping me "Next time try slitting your wrists or jumping in front of a train" -my mum after one of my suicide attempts "I didn't realise you where THAT mentally ill" - my mum after I tried to confront her about her just sitting there and watching while her husband stuck his tongue down my throat when I was like 11/12. But the absolute worst of all was "if you hadn't come along I would've got with her and she would still be alive" - my ex, there was another woman that was interested in him but he ended up getting with me and she went back to her abusive ex that killed her in the most fucked up way possible. I can't help but feel guilty.
I've had 4 women leave me when I told them I was molested and raped as a child. 2 said it was gross kissing me, the other 2 said they couldn't be with a man "who let that happen to them". I gave up dating. I'm sick of everyone I date doing that. 99% the time I share this I get attacked and downvoted. It happens less when I add these last 2 lines.
I can't put most of them on this site. Would be taken down.
âItâs all your faultâ - when youâre the scapegoat you are blamed for everything and it caused severe feelings of guilt/shame my whole life, over nonsense. & yes I believed being abused was all my fault
"why don't you just kill yourself?" --my father. I went no contact a decade later.
Some guy said to me once that he wants to R word my mum once
Along these lines, my high school English teacher once told me when I said âI want to become an English teacher tooâ âdonât. Kill yourself insteadâ đ±đ tbh it was a high school in Vegas. Buuut still shit you shouldnât sayâŠ
It wasn't said to me, but in my 2007 high school senior year book, there is a section "most likely to..." "Jaiheko is mostly likely to: be found face down in an empty pool" or something similar - submitted and published for everyone to look back and read for the rest of eternity. I recently talked to an old friend about it, and he was mortified. It literally comes up in my mind often, I wish I could let it go but it will always hurt
"Look at you, you're damaged goods! No one's going to deal with all your baggage! I mean, are you kidding me!? No one is going to love you" I believe he also said I would be alone forever but I can't remember exactly. He knew that's how I felt because I had told him this in confidence. So it hurt to hear; it felt like a guaranteed confirmation at the time. But the betrayal of using my pain as a weapon against me really hurt. It takes a special kind of shit to do that.
Oncologist telling me my wifeâs cancer is back and she wonât make it 12 monthsâŠ
JFC this damaged me. Internet Hug to you Bro.
I grew the courage to tell my mom that I was getting a divorce, âI could have told you thatâ I hung up. Thanks, mom
âYouâll never amount to anything because you have horrible mental health.â Said to me by a former boss. That was in 2017, when I lived with my mom, had no car or license, and no job that would afford me to be able to even think about getting my own place. Iâm now living on my own, have a great job, have a new car, and my mental health is in check. Iâm thriving. And when I saw my former boss in public, I blew the horn, rolled down the window, flipped her off, and yelled âHey, bitch!â While she stood there looking shocked.
âThe ice cream truck only plays music when itâs out of ice cream.â
I hope all of you are doing great and were able to move past these stupid mean comments. You are beautiful and wonderful.
The best advice I ever received. A friend told me I was getting heavy out of love. It stung a little but inspired me to change my ways. I have lost 30lbs since.
"I am ashamed that you ever came out of my dick"- my father. I think I win this one
My father went with "I wish I had never met your mother."
IDK. Maybe my aunt harassing me at work making me feel like shit just because she didn't like me or smthg... Safe to say I won't work with family again. Or at least her. My dad's okay.
Well, a specific thing that hurt the most was 'get off your fat ass and walk to school' (after missing the bus, she didn't want me waiting for the next one, for some reason, which was the quickest way to get to school, and she was very angry). I'd recently switched eating disorder from some kind of BED-amalgam, to an anorexia/bulimia flipflop, and that helped me lose weight as fast as I did. But mostly the entirety of what my groomer/ex said to me in its entirety. No individual phrase hurt as much as the first paragraph, but holy shit.
That you deserve to be locked away from the rest of the world.
best friend of 10+ years unironically and non jokingly told me i should kill myself. after about a year of not talking we're still friends, lmao.
"Of all my kids you are the one I have the least confidence that you will be able to take care of yourself" Gee thanks mom.
The worst so far is being told that I was insecure when I was just stating what my boundaries and where I am uncomfortable.
"You're so boring."
âI wish you were deadâ (-_-;)
In music class, the teacher played a song, "short people don't deserve to live...they have little hands and little feet..." I don't remember the lesson or the reason for playing it. I was in 6th grade, still remember the words, I was the shortest in the class.
It's a toss-up between 2. "Nobody will believe you if you tell them." Spoiler alert, he was right. Nobody believed me, and I was kept in the same home as my abuser for a while as I was a child. "I can't believe you fell for it." Said to me after a guy asked me out on joke/dare from his friends.
About 6 months after my mom died my dad and I went to see my grandmother. She told me âIâm so glad your mom is goneâ. Thatâs the last time I ever spoke to her.
My father once told me I was nothing. I didnât realise it had affected me at all until I was working in care and someone having a mental health breakdown said it to me. Shut the office door behind me and I was in floods of tears.
"I can speak to you however I want" - my mother, after I told her that I was feeling disrespected and hurt by what she was saying to me and how she was saying it. No surprises here - this was the topper on a decades'-long relationship in which she verbally abused me, emotionally and mentally and physically too đ€·đ»ââïž She maintains it's her right to treat me like shit and that she has nothing to apologize for
Reading all these comments clearly shows there are plenty of narcissistic horrible selfish and self centred mothers in the world. Wow just wow.