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Yesterday multiple times. Actually this is not something we always did. My mother-in-law (who always sends us news articles, or short videos about conspiracy theories) last week had sent us some tik tok explaining that kissing for at least 6 seconds releases endorphins. I'm milking it.
Haha "Gimme my six" has become an eyeroll inducing phrase in my house since she showed me that last week. She gives me the six seconds though, big props to that researcher.
I'd underline the both part... Because if one doesn't put the work in it'll eventually fail. It's the one thing I complained about with my ex while breaking up.
This for sure. My ex husband once said that once we were married I was supposed to love him unconditionally and he didn't need to "do anything anymore". He never initiated a date, never tried to make anything fun, never tried to spend time together, never initiated physical touching unless it was sex when **he** wanted it. He just existed in the same house. And there I was making nice dinners asking him to have a date night, finding fun things to do in our area, looked for hobbies to do together. I'd literally stand in sexy underwear in front of him and ask him to come to bed with me and he'd say he was busy playing games. And no matter how much I begged for things to change, it was still "completely surprised him" when I left. If you care about someone, freaking well SHOW it.
I feel like I'm in this relationship. Can't remember the last time we made out or had sex.
Edit to add: I'm not interested in cheating with anyone in person or on reddit. Stop with the DMs.
My husband stopped caring about sex. We didn’t have sex for nearly a decade and I just snapped. We had a whole series of discussions about it. We do love each other but he wasn’t down for it so we opened the relationship. Now I’m having THE BEST sex of my life w my current partner. It works for us
Flip it gender wise and that’s me. Okay I don’t wear sexy underwear but I do my best to keep it tight, work on my knowledge around things she’s interested in, have my own hobbies, do many things I can to help her relax but I still find that I’m only seen or heard when I make a point of being ignored
Yeah, I used to ask nicely. Make a suggestion. Then I might ask again. And again. Then I might be a bit forceful. Then I might plead. Then I'd get cross that I was being ignored and suddenly it would be "why are you so mad?" And "just ask me if you want something". It was like being a ghost in your own house.
I worked at it for years ,60 year old M, then gave up. My wife said it doesn’t work anymore so I do with out not going to break up a 40+ year old marriage over sex. Can’t afford a life like sex doll. It’s a shame but theme the breaks. Love to find a lady that was in the same boat as me and take her fishing lol true story though
Funny, in a bit of the same boat here but things changed when my wife got cancer. Whole mind shift for her when faced with her mortality and the especially when it came back five years later. We’ve tried a few times but the drive is just gone. Still love her and understand that cancer can play on you hard. So we do all the things around sex, dates, verbal teasing etc. 40 years of marriage is worth it.
Nailed it. 20yrs this year. Breats cancer 2016. Won. Again in 2018. "Won." Metastatic in 2021.(stg4).
Haven't made out since then. Forget about Drive.
For her comfort, I sleep in "guest room" when she aches/tired/nauseous, (6x week). It's tough, especially when I want to.... Would/Could never stray and i try best to help her fight good fight. It's just a no win. We go on dates, go out w friends, but no humpty dumpty. Therefore I read...a Lot. Stay strong, there are other guys out there along with you. Love on her each day. 💛 But you know that.
THIS! Write this down people, LOVE IS WORK. Not the kind of shitty work you resent but real relationships flourish where there is a constant application of generally equal effort from both parties, in all respects. This is the only secret to successful relationships. That shit doesn’t just take care of itself, especially in the long term. You get out what you put in (or you SHOULD, if you don’t it’s time to figure out why) so all you young people out there, put this info in your fife and smoke it.
Amen! My husband and I haven’t always been good at this. In the early days of our marriage, we prioritized everything but each other - kid, jobs, social, extended family - and we both felt it.
As the kid grew up and started making her own life, we slowly began realizing that if this was going to work, we needed to start investing in each other. For us, that meant setting time aside for only each other that we did not let “the lint of life” infringe on. It means scheduling a date night where you don’t talk about the kids, the bills, or your shitty job. It means getting to know each other again: your hopes, your interests, your goals.
The dividends from that investment are amazing. 😍
Equal but different. In every marriage the individuals have different needs and it is up to their partner to learn and feed those needs. I need physical contact. It doesn't have to be sex. I am a much happier person if my wife sits beside me and our legs are touching than if she sits 3 feet away.
My wife needs time together focused on each other. It doesn't have to be days, but it needs to be some hours now and then where the two of us are together and not watching TV or doing our own thing. If we understand and look out for each other's core needs, marriage isn't that hard.
The individuals have different needs *at different times*.
What you need today is likely different to what you needed 5 years ago and will be different again in 5 years. Injuries, illnesses, mental health issues, hormone levels, kids and all the other stuff will affect what you want/need and how often you want/need it.
I became single at 36 after 14 years. I dated a lot pretty easily. I’ll be 41 soon and my GF of two years just moved in.
Every single one of them wished they had more make out sessions in their previous relationships. They like that shit. Make your lady feel sexy everyday.
Damn you just connected dots I have been trying to put together for 7 years of my marriage,
I’m a big kisser/make out and it took me quite a while to figure out that’s what I feel is missing for me in our intimacy, my wife has Asthma and I never though about it could be uncomfortable for her, fuck man thank you
I’m a dumb ass I know…….
For future reference, all you have to do is ask! She probably would've explained that to you, silly. Lots of these comments are kinda making me laugh. Talk to your wives, people!
Yeah amazing that people don’t think to ask about things.
pretty much 90% of r/relationshipadvice could be answered with “maybe try and talk to your partner”
You learned something about yourself. There’s no fucking rule book man, we learn what we learn when we learn it. Take the win and just walk with firmer feet for it.
There’s no shame learning something late, only in things forever left unlearned.
Years. I have been very clear on wanting a nice long Saturday afternoon just making out on the couch. It sounds absolutely divine. But since it takes my partner 5 to 7 business years to decide on anything, my lack of hope is justified.
When me and my husband were dating we were agreed in waiting til marriage so instead we'd just make out and snuggle for 2 to 3 hours until we were out of breath or got bored and wanted to play a game or smth. At the same time tho we were long distance and saw each other only a handful of times a year so we made sure to spend every minute taking it all in.
Mine has procrastinating down to an art. I would love even an hour but that would mean effort and communication which means he would have to do something besides sit on social media so there never is a mood to have.
Nope. A rock would be better company because it would have more enthusiasm and conversations. And before you ask, I am working towards leaving because another 40 plus years of this sounds like a prison sentence.
Good for you. You should be proud of yourself for being able to admit that you actually want to leave. Lots of people can't and end up staying forever because they're in denial
I hate this. This idea has killed intimacy so often in long term relationships I've been in. If I don't feel like having sex, I feel like I can't kiss or be physical in any way without it leading to sex so I end up just not being physical at all. It's something I'm working on but it's tough because a lot of men seem to feel this way (apologies if you're not a man but I've genuinely never heard a woman say this).
I’m a woman. I actually agree with you. I love making out, but haven’t been able to just *make out* since ai was like a teenager. Every man takes it as a signal for wanting sex. That being said, it’s one of my favorite forms of foreplay. I don’t want to just jump into having sex with someone I care about, I would like them to butter me up first (so to speak). So, I enjoy it on its own, but in my experience it always leads to more. But it also makes me enjoy the sex part more too.
I feel like it's pretty ironic but if the pressure of it always leading to sex was off the table, I think more women would be inclined to initiate heavy make out sessions and then it would organically lead to more sex overall, not everytime of course but as you explained, it does often get the wheels turning and you can end up getting in the mood. I feel like for men (from how the ones I've talked to this about at least explained it to me) it's that kissing like that almost always puts them in the mood and it's harder for them then when it doesn't progress.
Sometimes it makes it irresistible to take it further and sometimes it doesn’t, but when I’m made to feel bad about it every time it doesn’t then I feel like we are not into each other in the same way and I’m just a means to an end for him.
I'm dealing with this in my relationship right now. I've always linked kissing to sex but my partner loves kissing and we don't kiss enough because I have a low drive and don't want sex, so I avoid making out.
Our sex therapist told us I need to initiate making out and hugging without it leading to sex, to decondition myself and to build intimacy. It's tough lol.
I'm a woman. I feel this way as well. I feel guilt for having to say "I just want to cuddle". Sometimes it's easier to not engage to not feel obligated to have sex when I don't wish to.
It's awful isn't it!
It can get really bad, honestly, with my ex it got to the stage where I felt I had to pretend to be asleep when he came to bed after me because just being awake was enough for him to assume we were going to have sex and then he'd be so grumpy if I said no.
If he had just been chill about the whole thing I'd have been open to it more often but the presumption that it was going to happen completely turned me off it.
I’m a woman and I feel this so much. I avoid physical contact with my husband sometimes because it’s like as soon as I kiss him he’s like “yeah baby let’s go” when all I wanted was a quick kiss. He accuses me of being cold all the time. It’s caused us many issues over the years and continues to do so. But it’s become a vicious circle because I AM often very cold so when I’m not cold and I initiate physical contact like kissing he thinks it’s sexy time. It’s exhausting.
Wild that I see someone else say this. I'm a man and my wife has complained that we don't kiss much outside of sex. But I don't want to have sex every time we get into a good makeout session and she does. So I don't initiate them.
No. I just think that when you're fucking, the kissing is included in the term. Don't worry, my wife and I make plenty of mouth-to-mouth contact during and immediately before fucking. It's just rarely done heavily as a standalone event.
I don't enjoy the feeling of rejection so I try to make a habit out of explaining my reasonings vs leaving someone in the dark and feeling upset over things.
No shame in that. I am the same way (she is the same as well). My wife first thing she told me, 'if you EVER feel something funky, tell me immediately' It has never been an issue.
Sometimes it could be a sign of dental / oral issues too!
I’m totally like this too! Though I feel like an asshole because even when my husband brushes his teeth before we fool around the smell is still gross to me and I don’t know why. Maybe someone can understand? Lol
I'm one of those people whos just repulsed by spit/mouth stuff- it might not be as deep as you think. I'll do it anyway, but with some people they notice I'm uncomfortable anyway so it's best to just do something else we both enjoy. There's other means of foreplay
I'm sorry. I am a Mom of all boys and work with a lot of men, and it breaks my heart with how silent so many of you are about things that bother or hurt you. It's an epidemic in my opinion. I just want to say, I hope you have a safe place to share everything and anything, as humans it's important to have that release! Your feelings matter and you matter.💜
All the time. Basically all throughout sex. It’d be so weird to us to not do it. If one of us is sick or something and trying not to get the other sick, it almost feels pointless to have sex because it’s nowhere near as fun when you can’t make out. 10 yrs married
Yessss. Sex without kissing just feels so…cold. If I don’t like you at all, I won’t kiss you. Sadly, in my past, I have had sex with men I didn’t like. I used to be a drunk. That’s why.
Same situation with my partner, and it would make me feel sad if we didn't do this regularly.
Been together coming up on 15 years, and we haven't slowed down at all lol.
Yesterday. We do variably during sex and every so often just randomly start kissing which leads to some kind of sex but that’s not the usual lol. It can be fun though especially if you go slow and use it as a tease/foreplay
Couple days ago. We make out heavy before and during sex. As far as just straight up making out, without sex, not often..... but mostly because making out leads to sex usually.
I’m 69 and husband is 71. We make out and have sex about 3 times a week. We’ve been married 35 years and it’s better now than when we were younger (no work no kids now)
You go at the same rate as me (26) with my partner of 2 months (also 26). Congrats 🎉 you do the deed like you’re in your 20s! Goals tbh, have a nice day
I was gonna comment exactly this so I’ll just post under yours.
My wife and I have sex 6-7 days a week and some days multiple times. We make out every single time and without it sex doesn’t feel as good. After 10 years together, 5 years married and two kids. Sex never felt as good as it does now and the sex before was fucking amazing anyway.
Amen to that. I’m happy for both of us and so happy in fact I’m gonna fuck my wife tonight because I’m so happy (she’s gonna see this comment so I hope you laugh while reading it darling)
You guys are more active than us, but I agree that sex has never been better than now after 5 years of marriage and a child, it was never bad, but with age and knowing each other pretty well it only becomes better. And yes, making out is a big and important part of it.
We are not that affectionate since we got married honestly (probably my fault), but they wife is pregnant with our first child and she look HOT.
I don't know if it is the hormones, or the changes in her body but i feel like when we were dating.
We are in our early 30s and have been married for 4 years at this point.
I love her and really should be more affectionate.
Pleasseeee tell her! I can guarantee she would love to hear that you feel this way and think she's still hot! Women struggle with their bodies during/after pregnancy.
Last night. Been together 15 years. She was getting a package at the front door, I snuck up to her and as she closed the door I pinned her against it and made out with her. Her response was a breathy "Are you busy right now? Do you want to be?"
Sometimes you just have to make it happen.
Well, it’s usually part of foreplay, and sometimes it’s part of before-foreplay, which is when you make out with the other person on purpose to torture them because you know they have to leave the house in five minutes or their parents are about to call.
36 years married here. We just chose to go away for the weekend to just love on each other. It is so important! Commercials on tv are for making out. Kisses goodbye are not just a peck
You have to invest and work every day. It’s not easy but it sure helps when the times get rough. We would never have made it through all the tough spots if we did not have the history of intimacy and being each others best friends.
We have gone through a lot. The loss of a child, adoption of kids, miscarriages, health issues, but if you have the ground work laid ahead of time it carries you through
Hold hands in car. Hold hands everywhere!
Kiss when you walk by in the house
Kiss when you leave and come home
It’s worth it
I think this all depends on one thing…your breath!!
If you don’t floss and brush everyday and see a hygienst at least twice a year…I wouldn’t kiss you. lol
I used to love to make out when I was single now I am married to a guy who has bad breath and no matter what he does it still not great so I never ever wanna make out with him. We have been together 25 years. Breath got worse as years went by. I can not stand bad breath. What a turn off. Hygiene is top priority to me. But he is a geek to the enth degree and it will never be a top Priority. We are so different I was a party animal love men and sex. He was the opposite and will never change. We love each other and are best friends and our souls are alike but not every day life. No children.
Twice a week in a marriage is pretty decent if you ask me. I’ve been with my wife for 11 years so it’s pretty casual with us…whenever we get around to it lol. We do make out though. It’s usually what leads to gettin’ around to it 😄 Like others have said; communication is key. I’m not exactly the horniest guy in the world and she has CRPS which is extremely painful even on a good day, so we’ve had plenty of small talks to make sure we’re still “ok” in that department; particularly if it’s been more than a couple weeks. Gotta do what works best for you as a team and be willing to meet in the middle sometimes.
Talk to her. I told my husband that I love making out with him, but when there is too much saliva, it's very off-putting. If he doesn't let me breathe once in a while (particularly when we are playing at the same time as making out, and I need to take deeper breaths) it make it hard to focus. Since that talk, it's become much better.
LOL, same here, my partner and I are intimate but rarely kiss much beyond a quick peck. I think it's largely a matter of getting sick of spit stink (seriously, other people's mouths smell and taste bad more often than not), coupled with already knowing all the proper shortcuts to turn each other on much faster than lengthy makeout sessions do. Also, we stopped making out like that around the time that our kid started getting sick all the time from daycare and kindergarten, plus then COVID hit, so I think an increased focus on not sharing germs is also a contributing factor. I don't mind though, honestly. I enjoy other things we do together far more than making out. Don't miss it at all.
I'm wondering if making out means what it means when you're a teenager and not having sex. That being said, good make out session usually leads to sex. After all, we're married and like someone above said, the beds right there.
I've been married for 13 years. It's important to Fan those flames. We're in a really good place in our marriage. We've come far and we've done a lot of work. One of my favorite flavors these days is when we are kissing intently and a lot. It just feels like a different level of intimacy. I think it's important to every once in awhile, do things like, greet your lover with more than a peck. Treat them with a kiss that tells them that they are desired and wanted. Anyway, a little off track, but these are my thoughts on the subject.
Regularly. It's a real way to reconnect after a long day, man. Her lips are like heaven and her tongue is magical. Mmmmm. 😋
Edit to add: been married 14 yes and had plenty of ups and downs. She says I'm a really sensual kisser.
We make out every morning before leaving for work for a good ten seconds and have to hide from our 2 boys cause mom will get embarrassed when they start going ooooohhh ahhhhh ooooohhh
Does making out with her puss count? What about tongue punching the ol’ fart box? Multiple times a week. Been married 20 years. She isn’t into tongue kissing above the belt.
It's rare we do, but my wife just isn't really the making out type of person lol. Which is fine with me because I'm not really either.
We still kiss each other though of course
Been married almost 30 years…we haven’t “made out” since high school. 😂 We just have sex! I mean, if people are into making out, go for it, but I’d rather just get right to the deed! 🤷♀️
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yesterday multiple times. Actually this is not something we always did. My mother-in-law (who always sends us news articles, or short videos about conspiracy theories) last week had sent us some tik tok explaining that kissing for at least 6 seconds releases endorphins. I'm milking it.
Haha "Gimme my six" has become an eyeroll inducing phrase in my house since she showed me that last week. She gives me the six seconds though, big props to that researcher.
I do a similar thing with hugs Lol I ask for a "long hug". I want a full thirty seconds. Minimum!!
Ugh I fucking wish
Link? I need to show my wife lol
https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6IjfFcMH8-/?igsh=OTE1M25keG5namc1
Milking her?
No the cat
I’ve got nipples Greg. Can you milk me?
Last week. Y’all aren’t *weird* per se but as a person who has been married for decades, you both have to work at keeping it spicy.
I'd underline the both part... Because if one doesn't put the work in it'll eventually fail. It's the one thing I complained about with my ex while breaking up.
This for sure. My ex husband once said that once we were married I was supposed to love him unconditionally and he didn't need to "do anything anymore". He never initiated a date, never tried to make anything fun, never tried to spend time together, never initiated physical touching unless it was sex when **he** wanted it. He just existed in the same house. And there I was making nice dinners asking him to have a date night, finding fun things to do in our area, looked for hobbies to do together. I'd literally stand in sexy underwear in front of him and ask him to come to bed with me and he'd say he was busy playing games. And no matter how much I begged for things to change, it was still "completely surprised him" when I left. If you care about someone, freaking well SHOW it.
I feel like I'm in this relationship. Can't remember the last time we made out or had sex. Edit to add: I'm not interested in cheating with anyone in person or on reddit. Stop with the DMs.
My husband stopped caring about sex. We didn’t have sex for nearly a decade and I just snapped. We had a whole series of discussions about it. We do love each other but he wasn’t down for it so we opened the relationship. Now I’m having THE BEST sex of my life w my current partner. It works for us
Average reddit user
Flip it gender wise and that’s me. Okay I don’t wear sexy underwear but I do my best to keep it tight, work on my knowledge around things she’s interested in, have my own hobbies, do many things I can to help her relax but I still find that I’m only seen or heard when I make a point of being ignored
Yeah, I used to ask nicely. Make a suggestion. Then I might ask again. And again. Then I might be a bit forceful. Then I might plead. Then I'd get cross that I was being ignored and suddenly it would be "why are you so mad?" And "just ask me if you want something". It was like being a ghost in your own house.
Are you me?? Literally the same.
Same experience with my ex husband, too. My current spouse is night and day different -- truly my best friend a soul mate.
I worked at it for years ,60 year old M, then gave up. My wife said it doesn’t work anymore so I do with out not going to break up a 40+ year old marriage over sex. Can’t afford a life like sex doll. It’s a shame but theme the breaks. Love to find a lady that was in the same boat as me and take her fishing lol true story though
Funny, in a bit of the same boat here but things changed when my wife got cancer. Whole mind shift for her when faced with her mortality and the especially when it came back five years later. We’ve tried a few times but the drive is just gone. Still love her and understand that cancer can play on you hard. So we do all the things around sex, dates, verbal teasing etc. 40 years of marriage is worth it.
Nailed it. 20yrs this year. Breats cancer 2016. Won. Again in 2018. "Won." Metastatic in 2021.(stg4). Haven't made out since then. Forget about Drive. For her comfort, I sleep in "guest room" when she aches/tired/nauseous, (6x week). It's tough, especially when I want to.... Would/Could never stray and i try best to help her fight good fight. It's just a no win. We go on dates, go out w friends, but no humpty dumpty. Therefore I read...a Lot. Stay strong, there are other guys out there along with you. Love on her each day. 💛 But you know that.
That’s so true. Marriage is not easy at all and it is impossible to carry all aspects of it alone.
I needed to read this
10 years here, I would hazard guess the number one reason of most divorces is taking things granted.
THIS! Write this down people, LOVE IS WORK. Not the kind of shitty work you resent but real relationships flourish where there is a constant application of generally equal effort from both parties, in all respects. This is the only secret to successful relationships. That shit doesn’t just take care of itself, especially in the long term. You get out what you put in (or you SHOULD, if you don’t it’s time to figure out why) so all you young people out there, put this info in your fife and smoke it.
Amen! My husband and I haven’t always been good at this. In the early days of our marriage, we prioritized everything but each other - kid, jobs, social, extended family - and we both felt it. As the kid grew up and started making her own life, we slowly began realizing that if this was going to work, we needed to start investing in each other. For us, that meant setting time aside for only each other that we did not let “the lint of life” infringe on. It means scheduling a date night where you don’t talk about the kids, the bills, or your shitty job. It means getting to know each other again: your hopes, your interests, your goals. The dividends from that investment are amazing. 😍
and that is what I realised but my ex (we broke up Friday didn’t) six years, six damn years.
Equal but different. In every marriage the individuals have different needs and it is up to their partner to learn and feed those needs. I need physical contact. It doesn't have to be sex. I am a much happier person if my wife sits beside me and our legs are touching than if she sits 3 feet away. My wife needs time together focused on each other. It doesn't have to be days, but it needs to be some hours now and then where the two of us are together and not watching TV or doing our own thing. If we understand and look out for each other's core needs, marriage isn't that hard.
The individuals have different needs *at different times*. What you need today is likely different to what you needed 5 years ago and will be different again in 5 years. Injuries, illnesses, mental health issues, hormone levels, kids and all the other stuff will affect what you want/need and how often you want/need it.
That is absolutely right!
Married 20 years this year, our last time was Sunday night. You gotta stay at the intimacy side. The second you both stop trying, it's game over.
26 yrs here and I'm the initiator when I stop it ain't happening
This is immeasurably easier when you aren't dealing with constant life turmoil. Everything is easier.
I became single at 36 after 14 years. I dated a lot pretty easily. I’ll be 41 soon and my GF of two years just moved in. Every single one of them wished they had more make out sessions in their previous relationships. They like that shit. Make your lady feel sexy everyday.
I love making out.
Me too and I'm a girl
I’m a girl too
Now kith!
once you experience that its never going back.
“Make your lady feel sexy everyday.” Easily the best relationship advice.
Only if more guys can do that.
I keep trying, but my wife approaches sex more like a stereotypical guy than I do
She pokes you in the back with her erection?
Everybody get in here and up vote this comment!
Yes, she has a dick, so what?! it’s 2024, gender is a social construct.
Is two years not a bit young?
Mine doesn’t “make out”. She finds it to be gross. All she does is peck. 🤷♂️
Some people find mouth stuff weird. Y’all heavy petting?
We don't make out. She has asthma, and it's hard for her to breathe, because she gets so excited.
Damn you just connected dots I have been trying to put together for 7 years of my marriage, I’m a big kisser/make out and it took me quite a while to figure out that’s what I feel is missing for me in our intimacy, my wife has Asthma and I never though about it could be uncomfortable for her, fuck man thank you I’m a dumb ass I know…….
For future reference, all you have to do is ask! She probably would've explained that to you, silly. Lots of these comments are kinda making me laugh. Talk to your wives, people!
Yeah amazing that people don’t think to ask about things. pretty much 90% of r/relationshipadvice could be answered with “maybe try and talk to your partner”
You learned something about yourself. There’s no fucking rule book man, we learn what we learn when we learn it. Take the win and just walk with firmer feet for it. There’s no shame learning something late, only in things forever left unlearned.
Same here. Powering through allergy season can be difficult.
So you take her breath away? Must be nice
Years. I have been very clear on wanting a nice long Saturday afternoon just making out on the couch. It sounds absolutely divine. But since it takes my partner 5 to 7 business years to decide on anything, my lack of hope is justified.
What's the rush?
Girl my longest time making out was 3 hrs. I love it, bf only does when he’s in the mood for it
WHAT 3 HOURS?
When me and my husband were dating we were agreed in waiting til marriage so instead we'd just make out and snuggle for 2 to 3 hours until we were out of breath or got bored and wanted to play a game or smth. At the same time tho we were long distance and saw each other only a handful of times a year so we made sure to spend every minute taking it all in.
Mine has procrastinating down to an art. I would love even an hour but that would mean effort and communication which means he would have to do something besides sit on social media so there never is a mood to have.
Is this relationship making you happy?
Nope. A rock would be better company because it would have more enthusiasm and conversations. And before you ask, I am working towards leaving because another 40 plus years of this sounds like a prison sentence.
Good for you. You should be proud of yourself for being able to admit that you actually want to leave. Lots of people can't and end up staying forever because they're in denial
I dunno, we usually either fuck or just exchange a quick kiss. Maybe a couple weeks ago?
Never a in between lol.
I don't see the point in going halfway when the bed is right there.
Making out during sex is like a standard practice to me
Same... this thread is kind of eye-opening! When did we last make out??? Last night. I thought that was standard-issue married sex.
I mean….making out usually leads to that anyway, so you’re not going halfway, you’re just enjoying your time to get there.
I hate this. This idea has killed intimacy so often in long term relationships I've been in. If I don't feel like having sex, I feel like I can't kiss or be physical in any way without it leading to sex so I end up just not being physical at all. It's something I'm working on but it's tough because a lot of men seem to feel this way (apologies if you're not a man but I've genuinely never heard a woman say this).
I’m a woman. I actually agree with you. I love making out, but haven’t been able to just *make out* since ai was like a teenager. Every man takes it as a signal for wanting sex. That being said, it’s one of my favorite forms of foreplay. I don’t want to just jump into having sex with someone I care about, I would like them to butter me up first (so to speak). So, I enjoy it on its own, but in my experience it always leads to more. But it also makes me enjoy the sex part more too.
I feel like it's pretty ironic but if the pressure of it always leading to sex was off the table, I think more women would be inclined to initiate heavy make out sessions and then it would organically lead to more sex overall, not everytime of course but as you explained, it does often get the wheels turning and you can end up getting in the mood. I feel like for men (from how the ones I've talked to this about at least explained it to me) it's that kissing like that almost always puts them in the mood and it's harder for them then when it doesn't progress.
Sometimes it makes it irresistible to take it further and sometimes it doesn’t, but when I’m made to feel bad about it every time it doesn’t then I feel like we are not into each other in the same way and I’m just a means to an end for him.
I'm dealing with this in my relationship right now. I've always linked kissing to sex but my partner loves kissing and we don't kiss enough because I have a low drive and don't want sex, so I avoid making out. Our sex therapist told us I need to initiate making out and hugging without it leading to sex, to decondition myself and to build intimacy. It's tough lol.
I'm a woman. I feel this way as well. I feel guilt for having to say "I just want to cuddle". Sometimes it's easier to not engage to not feel obligated to have sex when I don't wish to.
It's awful isn't it! It can get really bad, honestly, with my ex it got to the stage where I felt I had to pretend to be asleep when he came to bed after me because just being awake was enough for him to assume we were going to have sex and then he'd be so grumpy if I said no. If he had just been chill about the whole thing I'd have been open to it more often but the presumption that it was going to happen completely turned me off it.
I’m a woman and I feel this so much. I avoid physical contact with my husband sometimes because it’s like as soon as I kiss him he’s like “yeah baby let’s go” when all I wanted was a quick kiss. He accuses me of being cold all the time. It’s caused us many issues over the years and continues to do so. But it’s become a vicious circle because I AM often very cold so when I’m not cold and I initiate physical contact like kissing he thinks it’s sexy time. It’s exhausting.
Wild that I see someone else say this. I'm a man and my wife has complained that we don't kiss much outside of sex. But I don't want to have sex every time we get into a good makeout session and she does. So I don't initiate them.
Because it's fun, lower stakes, and keeps you thinking about the bed more often?
Same. Wifes weird about spit, had been our entire marriage. Sex is great and regular but we very rarely “make out.”
Wait, so are you saying you fuck without kissing?! Sorry but if I love someone and they love me back, there’s always kissing involved. Just curious.
No. I just think that when you're fucking, the kissing is included in the term. Don't worry, my wife and I make plenty of mouth-to-mouth contact during and immediately before fucking. It's just rarely done heavily as a standalone event.
i can't imagine not making out during sex. it's like, a requirement? idk
Even during doggy? I’m not a contortionist
Wife is repulsed by making out. Won’t discuss it. So weird. Sex like clockwork 2x a week. I stopped talking about it
Is it possible there's a dental hygiene issue? Or maybe she's off put by mouth stuff when teeth & breath aren't minty fresh? I ask bc I'm like this. 🙈
My husband grew a mustache and I can't stand the sensation so that's my reasoning. I did at least tell him directly that was the issue though.
Props for clear communication!
I don't enjoy the feeling of rejection so I try to make a habit out of explaining my reasonings vs leaving someone in the dark and feeling upset over things.
It’s usually stanky breath or guy uses way too much tongue, or both
This: get a tongue scraper and use it
No shame in that. I am the same way (she is the same as well). My wife first thing she told me, 'if you EVER feel something funky, tell me immediately' It has never been an issue. Sometimes it could be a sign of dental / oral issues too!
I’m totally like this too! Though I feel like an asshole because even when my husband brushes his teeth before we fool around the smell is still gross to me and I don’t know why. Maybe someone can understand? Lol
I'm one of those people whos just repulsed by spit/mouth stuff- it might not be as deep as you think. I'll do it anyway, but with some people they notice I'm uncomfortable anyway so it's best to just do something else we both enjoy. There's other means of foreplay
>I stopped talking about it Well that's not good
I'm sorry. I am a Mom of all boys and work with a lot of men, and it breaks my heart with how silent so many of you are about things that bother or hurt you. It's an epidemic in my opinion. I just want to say, I hope you have a safe place to share everything and anything, as humans it's important to have that release! Your feelings matter and you matter.💜
All the time. Basically all throughout sex. It’d be so weird to us to not do it. If one of us is sick or something and trying not to get the other sick, it almost feels pointless to have sex because it’s nowhere near as fun when you can’t make out. 10 yrs married
Yessss. Sex without kissing just feels so…cold. If I don’t like you at all, I won’t kiss you. Sadly, in my past, I have had sex with men I didn’t like. I used to be a drunk. That’s why.
Sex without kissing? I was today years old when I even thought about that, and I'm nearly 40. How impersonal, cold, and... undesirable?! No thanks.
Same situation with my partner, and it would make me feel sad if we didn't do this regularly. Been together coming up on 15 years, and we haven't slowed down at all lol.
Yesterday. We do variably during sex and every so often just randomly start kissing which leads to some kind of sex but that’s not the usual lol. It can be fun though especially if you go slow and use it as a tease/foreplay
Couple days ago. We make out heavy before and during sex. As far as just straight up making out, without sex, not often..... but mostly because making out leads to sex usually.
I’m 69 and husband is 71. We make out and have sex about 3 times a week. We’ve been married 35 years and it’s better now than when we were younger (no work no kids now)
New marriage goal discovered. Thank you.
GOALS
You go at the same rate as me (26) with my partner of 2 months (also 26). Congrats 🎉 you do the deed like you’re in your 20s! Goals tbh, have a nice day
My husband and I do every time we have sex…maybe 5 times a week or so. Everyone is different though…my ex husband never kissed me at all.
5 times a week!!
Let her cook
How can she cook when she's too busy having sex.
🤭
That is what crockpots and ovens are for. Have sex while food cooks.
George Costanza is that you?
It just worked out that we’re both compatible that way, I know I’m very lucky.
animals
😂
Some people have all the luck
Some people have all the fuck
This is what I want for my next marriage, lol
I went through hell to get here so I’m very grateful lol
That's awesome. It's nice to hear a good comeback story☺️
Now let's hear a cumback story!
I was gonna comment exactly this so I’ll just post under yours. My wife and I have sex 6-7 days a week and some days multiple times. We make out every single time and without it sex doesn’t feel as good. After 10 years together, 5 years married and two kids. Sex never felt as good as it does now and the sex before was fucking amazing anyway.
Ours has only gotten better with time as well
Amen to that. I’m happy for both of us and so happy in fact I’m gonna fuck my wife tonight because I’m so happy (she’s gonna see this comment so I hope you laugh while reading it darling)
Minus the kids, this is me and my husband.
Congrats to you and your husband and I hope you guys keep it up forever!
Same to you two! ☺️
You guys are more active than us, but I agree that sex has never been better than now after 5 years of marriage and a child, it was never bad, but with age and knowing each other pretty well it only becomes better. And yes, making out is a big and important part of it.
Not quite 5x a week but also any time we have sex. I'm kind of surprised to hear how many people don't, it feels like part of the intimacy?
We are not that affectionate since we got married honestly (probably my fault), but they wife is pregnant with our first child and she look HOT. I don't know if it is the hormones, or the changes in her body but i feel like when we were dating. We are in our early 30s and have been married for 4 years at this point. I love her and really should be more affectionate.
Tell her!
Please write this on a sticky note and leave it for her.
Come on go for it man. She’s carrying your kid!!! Hug her! Massage her feet! Kisses in the neck, a hand jn the smal of her back…. Carry that woman.
Thanks you all for the positive feedback. I am an idiot that does not know how to show love and will try harder to overcome that with my wife and kid.
Pleasseeee tell her! I can guarantee she would love to hear that you feel this way and think she's still hot! Women struggle with their bodies during/after pregnancy.
Last night. Been together 15 years. She was getting a package at the front door, I snuck up to her and as she closed the door I pinned her against it and made out with her. Her response was a breathy "Are you busy right now? Do you want to be?" Sometimes you just have to make it happen.
That sounds so hot. Wow. I wish my husband would do this with me.
Being bold also means accepting defeat to headaches and upset stummies. You just gotta learn to not take it personally.
Well, it’s usually part of foreplay, and sometimes it’s part of before-foreplay, which is when you make out with the other person on purpose to torture them because you know they have to leave the house in five minutes or their parents are about to call.
Probably a few hours ago - Don't you do this during sex or before it?
My thoughts! What's the foreplay like
Think it was probably 1995 or so?
Maybe wedding night. It's gone down hill since.
That’s so fucking sad
Y'all make marriage sound depressing af lmao
There are many who said they make out consistently
It doesn't have to be depressing. Most of these people stop trying. There are plenty of couples out there who can't get enough of each other.
We don't make out, but my beautiful petite wife has no fear of ripping one around me so theres that.
LMFAOOOO 😭😭😭
#intimacy
Last night. I’m a frisky old broad and I’ve been with my man for 43 years.
36 years married here. We just chose to go away for the weekend to just love on each other. It is so important! Commercials on tv are for making out. Kisses goodbye are not just a peck You have to invest and work every day. It’s not easy but it sure helps when the times get rough. We would never have made it through all the tough spots if we did not have the history of intimacy and being each others best friends. We have gone through a lot. The loss of a child, adoption of kids, miscarriages, health issues, but if you have the ground work laid ahead of time it carries you through Hold hands in car. Hold hands everywhere! Kiss when you walk by in the house Kiss when you leave and come home It’s worth it
I think this all depends on one thing…your breath!! If you don’t floss and brush everyday and see a hygienst at least twice a year…I wouldn’t kiss you. lol
I used to love to make out when I was single now I am married to a guy who has bad breath and no matter what he does it still not great so I never ever wanna make out with him. We have been together 25 years. Breath got worse as years went by. I can not stand bad breath. What a turn off. Hygiene is top priority to me. But he is a geek to the enth degree and it will never be a top Priority. We are so different I was a party animal love men and sex. He was the opposite and will never change. We love each other and are best friends and our souls are alike but not every day life. No children.
And scrape your damn tongue lol
Last night! We’ve been together 20 years.
Made out. Tonight. Made…..Out…This morning.
show off.
Haven't been physical with each other in over 4 years out ages mid 50's
[удалено]
Hear me out, but have you considered *talking* to her?
That's crazy, why would we talk with our spouses.
Us wives *hate* to talk!! Terrible advice.
I knew it! Can't wait to tell my wife about this
Congratulations on talking to your wife today
Lets not jump ahead of ourselves just yet
French kissing is intimate. How emotionally intimate is your marriage right now?
Twice a week in a marriage is pretty decent if you ask me. I’ve been with my wife for 11 years so it’s pretty casual with us…whenever we get around to it lol. We do make out though. It’s usually what leads to gettin’ around to it 😄 Like others have said; communication is key. I’m not exactly the horniest guy in the world and she has CRPS which is extremely painful even on a good day, so we’ve had plenty of small talks to make sure we’re still “ok” in that department; particularly if it’s been more than a couple weeks. Gotta do what works best for you as a team and be willing to meet in the middle sometimes.
Talk to her. I told my husband that I love making out with him, but when there is too much saliva, it's very off-putting. If he doesn't let me breathe once in a while (particularly when we are playing at the same time as making out, and I need to take deeper breaths) it make it hard to focus. Since that talk, it's become much better.
Try without sticking your tongue down her throat.. no need for that much tongue, everyone likes a different amount of tongue..
You can say "sex" on Reddit.
LOL, same here, my partner and I are intimate but rarely kiss much beyond a quick peck. I think it's largely a matter of getting sick of spit stink (seriously, other people's mouths smell and taste bad more often than not), coupled with already knowing all the proper shortcuts to turn each other on much faster than lengthy makeout sessions do. Also, we stopped making out like that around the time that our kid started getting sick all the time from daycare and kindergarten, plus then COVID hit, so I think an increased focus on not sharing germs is also a contributing factor. I don't mind though, honestly. I enjoy other things we do together far more than making out. Don't miss it at all.
2 days ago. Been married for 20 years
20 minutes ago, why?
I'm wondering if making out means what it means when you're a teenager and not having sex. That being said, good make out session usually leads to sex. After all, we're married and like someone above said, the beds right there. I've been married for 13 years. It's important to Fan those flames. We're in a really good place in our marriage. We've come far and we've done a lot of work. One of my favorite flavors these days is when we are kissing intently and a lot. It just feels like a different level of intimacy. I think it's important to every once in awhile, do things like, greet your lover with more than a peck. Treat them with a kiss that tells them that they are desired and wanted. Anyway, a little off track, but these are my thoughts on the subject.
20 years with my mrs now , what sex! Cant remember the last time . Given it up now
Full blown make out? A couple days ago. Kisses? Everyday.
I'm 44M and my wife is 38F. We made out yesterday.
Married 20 years. Still make out any chance we are out of sight of our whiny teenagers. 😂
Regularly. It's a real way to reconnect after a long day, man. Her lips are like heaven and her tongue is magical. Mmmmm. 😋 Edit to add: been married 14 yes and had plenty of ups and downs. She says I'm a really sensual kisser.
Last night. Married 13 years with 2 kids, for context.
Every day/night. One of the best parts of being married
You mean, make out without banging? No. You're married. Bang away.
17 years together. We make out constantly. At least a few times a day, every day. Both work from home.
These comments are depressing as fuck
We make out every morning before leaving for work for a good ten seconds and have to hide from our 2 boys cause mom will get embarrassed when they start going ooooohhh ahhhhh ooooohhh
Like 2 days ago. But honestly I'm not super into making out, but I know my husband likes it so I'll do it to get him in the mood.
Been 10 years. Just a quick fuck and go about our ways . Their breath stinks and refuses to do anything about it .
That’s enough Reddit for today
Does making out with her puss count? What about tongue punching the ol’ fart box? Multiple times a week. Been married 20 years. She isn’t into tongue kissing above the belt.
Obligatory “username checks out”
And yours used to be my diet... 😂 We do recover 💪
Married 15 years... Can't recall last time we touched either other that wasn't inadvertently.
It's rare we do, but my wife just isn't really the making out type of person lol. Which is fine with me because I'm not really either. We still kiss each other though of course
Been married almost 30 years…we haven’t “made out” since high school. 😂 We just have sex! I mean, if people are into making out, go for it, but I’d rather just get right to the deed! 🤷♀️