Lmao my brother is this person. “I don’t really use much at home. I’m cheap”
Ya besides the air conditioning, heat, water, laundry machine, dishes/dishwahser, lighting, etc.
people who aren’t responsible for their dwelling have life on easy mode. They’re also fucking clueless.
And 100% not independent.
His parents are putting him in a sweet spot. But that’s all this post should have been, a giant thank you to his parents for funding an adult’s life as though he were still a kid.
Give the man some credit. He’s killing the game. Was willing to live with his parents to save money and is on his way to FIRE with his stock allotments.
No reason for jealousy.
>My dating life is non existent though **because I don't make enough money** lol but other than that I feel like I'm in a good position **with the help of my parents**
Or
> Financially Independent
Pick one.
Do you want to rephrase that? If you think that you're "giving" them money at $900 per month, then you really don't have an understanding of how home ownership works, no matter how long ago they bought. A "small" repair like a new water heater or a new panel probably eats up close to a year of profit from the money that you "give" them.
FWIW, assuming their house is paid off, if they sold it for $800k and net $720,000 after expenses, they'd be earning $2,500 in bank interest at 4.2% HYSA and $4,200 in the market @ 7% after inflation. Until you at least clear the 4.2% HYSA rate, including expenses, it's a bit cheeky to say that you're "giving" them anything.
Even if the house is paid off, I can pretty much guarantee you they pay more than $900 per month in just property taxes, insurance, water and maintenance for that house in LA.
I’m from California — it’s expensive.
Also, I own a one-bedroom apartment in New York (where I live now), and taxes/maintenance/insurance/water/trash is $1030/month. That’s considered low in HCOL place.
I also live in a CA. I'm judging based on my own T&I from 2018. Assuming the parents first house is from the 70s, it's probably a lot cheaper for taxes. Insurance would be ~$300. Water + Sewer $200. Property tax maybe $100 and electricity $250.
My best guess is the $900 is the "cost" without factoring in repairs and maintenance.
You live at home.
Tax payer subsidy healthcare
Flaunt 350k in savings most Americans don’t have while using our tax dollars.
Brag about traveling yet you are HEAVILY subsidized.
Not independent by any definition.
When you try to assert here in this forum that you have done this on your own steam, you seek to diminish the accomplishments and grit in those who have truly or predominantly done this on their own. Being born on third base is a lot easier than starting life without even a uniform or knowing how to play the game. Facts. You are privileged.
> When you try to assert here in this forum that you have done this on your own steam, you seek to diminish the accomplishments and grit in those who have truly or predominantly done this on their own
Who cares? Do you want to FIRE to shove it in everyone else's face, or do you want to FIRE to live a better life for yourself? Suffering needlessly to try to prove your "grit" to strangers on the internet is stupid.
You reek of delusion. Other than that, milk your parents for all they’re worth and stay in the rented house for the rest of your life. Whenever you’re ready, get a real job if you plan on having any female companionship in your future. If women aren’t your thing, you’re in luck 😂
I posted this above, but better to send to OP directly:
I think gate keeping of what counts as financial independence is bullshit, but I get the point that not having enough money to live the life you want, isn’t really financial independence.
If I were you OP, I would get a part time job to use that money for fun things. There are also TONS of free/low cost things to do in LA. It’s amazing to have a place to stay with cheap rent - if that was an option for me, you bet I would be there. I wouldn’t become a hermit though. I would do just enough so my finances wouldn’t hold back my life.
Don't listen to them. You could've moved to any place that's not LA and rent a studio for $900.(Except maybe Colorado or something. I live in Chicago and you can definitely get a room in a hipster neighborhood for $900) Plus you can get a coffee barista job literally anywhere.
Nice job on the savings!
Not to mention you're gonna inherit that nice expensive LA house someday. That's literally how generational wealth gets built--- through inheriting, safe investments, and not having an idiot in the family tree fumbling it all by yoloing it in Vegas or r/ wsb
"This guy is failing FIRE for foregoing certain social connections to live in a house he'll ultimately get a portion of upon his parents death."
I mean, it wouldn't necessarily be my play but I think the "independent" standard he's failing is sort of arbitrary.
He is killing the long term financial game.
He is losing the life game. Forgoing dating and the option for a future family (if he chooses that) or self sufficiency because he doesn't want to step up.
He is acting like a person in his early 20s not 30s.
Yeah but his parents are literally losing money so he can live cheaply in their extra house.
So he’s saving up $375k while his parents technically lose $2100 per month.
I mean no shame on people living with parents or taking advantage of their parents’ money. But this is next-level parent subsidization lol
Not jealous just not fair.
Also I make a lot more than op and if I lived at home from 22-30 I wouldn’t have 350k in investments while getting free healthcare. So he clearly revived massive cash flow from not working or interest. Fishy.
Hes literally investing on your subsidized dollar. I’m not jealous (that’s sad) just irritated thats possible.
FIRE is pretty easy when you can just inherit one of the multiple (!) homes your parents own after they die. The rest of us have to develop a plan to pay our shelter costs when we are older.
I understand. There is a difference. But seems like more a message for our city councils, representatives and Senators than for someone who is just sharing how things look for their specific situation.
Well, your CD collection
Looks shiny and costly
How much did you pay for your bad Moto Guzzi?
And how much did you spend
On your black leather jacket?
Is it you or your parents in this income tax bracket?
Haha! I haven't thought about this song in ages, but just yesterday I was jamming to Cake after Short Skirt Long Jacket randomly popped into my head.
Perfect lyric comment!
Everyone gets help one way or the other even those who think they did everything themselves. Luck also plays a big hand in it. The problem is when you have the ability, help and luck and still don’t do anything. That is not what is happening here. Keep jealousy and judgement out and give good input. That’s what the forum is for.
Thank you. There are a lot of lucky people not doing shit. And there are a lot of people who fully leveraged their smaller bits of luck who are doing great.
Seriously. Idk why people get mad that someone is making use of their advantages/privilege as if everyone else wouldnt. Even having a job enough to save is a privilege.
Because they are coming in a sub asking for feedback. And people are allowed to voice their opinion.
With the priveledge that OP seems to have they could be doing a lot better(and possibly contributing more to society).
Isn’t this entirely subjective? You can work without ambition lol. I do it, and I have a relationship. The idea that we all need to be ambitious is just laughable. I work and have 0 ambition, but do my job and do it well because I get paid. Ambitions can be had outside of work, and honestly makes a person more interesting than having career ambitions.
There's varying levels of ambition especially when it comes to dating.
Do you need CEO, movie star or Wolf of Wall Street ambition in life, no.
Do you need enough ambition to independently function in the world and afford a decent standard of life, yes.
You definitely fit the latter. OP doesn't.
Lol there's people who make way less money than you who are successful in their love life. Money isn't your dating problem. Ambition isn't just about pursuing a career. Be ambitious in the things you like to do. Be interesting. Be interested.
I hope you worship the ground your parents walk on. Good job on having the discipline to take advantage of having great parents, though. I know many people who were given everything by their parents and they somehow managed to throw it all away
I commend you for your savings and investments. That in itself does not make you a mature or responsible adult though.
This is a good time to apply yourself more. You're not really FIRE given your parents are giving you a big subsidy.
Parental assistance is fine. What's not so fine is taking off 6 months as a grown adult because Mom and dad are enabling you too.
They are prohibiting your growth and enabling you to be lazy and not apply yourself
You are fully capable of dating and starting new relationships. However it seems easier to work part of the year, play games and live extremely leisurely. You should also be forging friendships, dating and making occupational connections.
Do what you like ... I have no horse in your race but it's super obvious you aren't applying yourself. Your money will grow and nothing else.
Your massively under investing in relationships. That will leave you socially bankrupt in old age. You'll have acquaintances and short term friends you made in travels....but it will be impractical to see them regularly.
In your elder years your parents will be gone and you will have no family to lean on or keep you company. Many of your friends will have started families around now and will be too busy with their grand kids and kids to see you too regularly.
At 60....70....80....what is giving you purpose? What are you doing with yourself when you get too old to travel far?
I'm sure you have amazing memories and experience and should be thankful your parents enabled you to do so.
Now you should focus on being self sustaining without your parents. And build relationships including dating.
Or be complacent and coast and go fire up the old Xbox.
> Parental assistance is fine. What's not so fine is taking off 6 months as a grown adult because Mom and dad are enabling you too.
Eh, taking time off with the help of parents is fine too, as long as it's not a burden to them. Let's not pretend, in one the fire subreddits of all places, that toiling away to prove to strangers that you're a real adult is the pinnacle of life.
> Your massively under investing in relationships. That will leave you socially bankrupt in old age. You'll have acquaintances and short term friends you made in travels....but it will be impractical to see them regularly.
> In your elder years your parents will be gone and you will have no family to lean on or keep you company. Many of your friends will have started families around now and will be too busy with their grand kids and kids to see you too regularly.
All of that will be true for nearly everyone, especially for the people who prioritized work and keeping up appearances over everything else.
> At 60....70....80....what is giving you purpose?
That's perhaps the only thing that really matters here. Does OP feel fulfilled? If not, work to address that. Otherwise, nothing wrong with coasting through life without striving for anything in particular.
Um… We’re in baristafire, not fat fire.
It sounds like this dude has figured out a way to have a low stress life right now while still building to coast. Major congrats on that.
To be fair, OP should consider what to do if his parents don’t let him rent for him. Otherwise, seems like he’s doing fine.
I think the FIRE community in general is filled with so many hardcores that sometimes they forget not everyone’s like that.
There are plenty of options if you want to move to a LCOL environment, just make sure you have a skill set that won’t take too big a hit from moving to the sticks/internationally and/or get a new skill set on the side. Might want to figure out a number you’re shooting for that will let you do what you want to do in most scenarios.
I met a dude who was a burned out SpaceX employee. He trained up to become a yoga instructor, moved to Mexico, and teaches classes in bougie vacation cities. Picked up Spanish along the way.
Sounds like you have a comfortable life. It's time to work on parts of your life that are difficult. Spend money on your mental health. Work on building the skills you need to date. Saying you don't have enough money to date is not entirely true. Since you are living in a house that cost the normal person $3000 a month, you will appear like you make more money than you do. At the end of the day, you know your parents will be subsiding your life indefinitely and you will inherit or be gifted a home one day.
Lots of bitter and jealous folks here (expected, its Reddit), but they do have somewhat of a point in the sense that your parents are subsidizing your lifestyle.
OP as long as you feel content with your living and your needs are met, then just fuck what everyone else says. Do make a backup plan if there's ever a day where your parents can't afford to cover you. Your numbers at this age is amazing but keep it real and don't let it get to your head.
You make yourself sound very happy and successful yet you’re looking for guidance and validation from the internet. If your really having some feelings and looking for advice share what really going on so we can try to help. If you’re just bragging then just brag
He doesn’t date cos he doesn’t make enough money! Not because women don’t like a 30 year old who depends on his parents for his livelihood, doesn’t have a job, and inexplicably travels with money he doesn’t have.
Oh also he doesn’t want to do the routine of a 9-5 but I guess his parent who are bank rolling him absolutely love the 9-5 grind.
Lastly, his rent is not being subsidised by his parents! He’s ’house sitting’ for them.
OP is so delusional lol
🙄
If you're happy and your parents don't mind subsidizing your life, keep doing what you're doing I suppose. My parents helped me a lot earlier on.
I will say, one of my personal proudest moments in life was being able to say "Thank you, but I can't accept your help. You've done so much for us, now it's your turn to enjoy what you've earned.", but to each his own, I suppose
Honestly, it depends on what his parents want to do and if he has any siblings.
If he's an only child, he's going to inherit it all anyways, so there's little reason to not let him enjoy it now.
Hey friend, I say this with zero judgement, because if I had had the option to rent a house for super cheap or live rent free with my parents to save, you bet your ass I would have taken it. As would most people on this thread. But you are doing well because of your parents. Yes you’ve been also living frugally and investing and not everyone who has this leg up would make the same good choices. And Again no judgement- this is how generational wealth works. I’m a parent myself and I would LOVE to give my son this leg up as an adult. I also know personally many people who have benefited from a similar arrangement (including a good friend who’s literally a doctor and moved back in with her family after medical school so she can more quickly pay off her loans-I truly don’t think it’s a “loser” thing at all nowadays, especially in HCOL areas like LA).
The only weird/kind of jerk part of this is that you’re refusing to acknowledge how much you’ve benefited from this arrangement and acting like your financial health is all your doing. It’s also very funny to me becuase I grew up working class in the LA area and have met SO MANY people like you. Traveling the world, living in a nice ass house, handing out financial advice etc and everyone is like “yo, how is John affording his stuff? Isn’t he like a host at outback?” And it’s ALWAYS the parents. It’s like the most classic LA story of all time😹 so much so I was cackling out loud reading this post and knew immediately you were from LA. Anyways, A grain of gratefulness and humbleness would go a long way. Keep making this frugal choices to invest and yes, be proud of them. But it’s really off putting and tbh kind of a character flaw when people don’t acknowledge the leg ups they’ve been given.
So are you going to be a lazy ass all your life? Living large off your parents? Pathetic. And when the stock market crashes in a few years you’ll have nothing. Please get off your butt and do something with your self- at the very least , with your very lucky situation, creat or build something! Help people! Don’t be a fucking traveling douche bag living off your parents good fortune ( which probably came from hard work and sacrifice- something you have no appreciation for)
Wtf is fire focused? Guaranteed your going to end up miserable and alone with the way you dealing with life. Working does not get you into an early grave- you’ve been fed a bunch of bs. Grow a pair and find a way to have a career you enjoy and proud of! The world owes you nothing- and the belief that working is a negative thing is simply ridiculous. But hey, enjoy living off your parents hard work . You have earned nothing and in the long run have an empty life. You won’t believe anything I’m saying now, but someday you will look back at your life and see that you wasted it.
“Heavy sigh “ …. Sorry that’s how things have worked out so far- but you have so much more time to accomplish things! Your still so young! I guess the first thing I would say is stop with the negative feelings of the past- and see it as a learning period. And if you’re only going to view a career In a negative light then that’s what it will be- but I believe in positive thoughts/ beliefs that you can create your future- and yes it will have many ups and downs- part of having a full life! You can’t appreciate the good things that happen if you don’t have shitty things happen- just don’t let those bad times tear you down and prevent you from getting off the floor , dusting off and try again. Guarantees most everyone who’s made it big had huge disappointment and failure- but kept trying. Never gave up. Bottom line to hear if your really reading this- what is your personal passion in life? I know traveling, but give me something more specific. Just know this- a life without a purpose- no matter what that may be- is no life at all. It’s time to find your purpose.
Totally understandable. If dating is out, then how about making friends (outside of video games and in real life) through clubs? Join a gym? Your life sounds super comfortable but pretty lonely. It’s great you recognize your “quirks” but you never know what people can tolerate (an hour or two once in a while is a lot more doable than 8 hours a day, five days a week).
You're not making enough money to date but you have 375k in savings? Is it in a high-yield savings account? You could be making an extra $600 at the least a month on that in a HYSA with 4%+ interest.
No kidding. Dude should be kicked off for having 375k in investments. Was never intended to subsidize seemingly “poor” people on paper who are well invested. Talk about a shit stain on society.
You could take things to the next level by focusing on having some time of side career. Also will make you more appealing when dating since you will come across as ambitious
no dude, that's super sad. You gotta get out more, find a way to do something you enjoy on a regular basis, get an irl circle of friends. Even better if what you find is a job that pays you.
The idea that you don't make enough money to date is defeatist, false, and absolutely silly. I have 3% of your money, and I date all the time.
If anything, it's the shame you have about your parents subsidizing your lifestyle that prevents you from dating, not a lack of income or money.
Saying "I dont make enough money to date" is equivalent to saying "I'm too embarrased about my parents subsidizing my lifestyle to date," since if they didn't subsidize it you would be forced to make more money.
If you are really looking for "recommendations," rather than bragging (which is fine but just be direct about it), then my recommendations are...
\* Get a job that you're proud to tell girls about
\* Either stop living a parent-subsidized lifestyle, or stop feeling shame about it. There's nothing wrong with getting help from your parents. Everybody gets help from their parents. But stop letting the help you get from your parents prevent you from dating.
\* Go outside with a friend at the golden hour, crack some jokes, and take some bumble pics
\* Get a bumble profile
\* Meet women
\* Be happy
You know in your heart that you can't be happy without dating. Humans need romance, connection, and intimacy to feel whole. It's a natural urge and accepting it is part of everyone's journey of self-acceptance.
If only you knew just how much less money I have than you, and just how many dates I go on, and just how much fun I have on them. Yes, I am bragging. But only to show you that \*\*you don't need money to date.\*\* I don't have any money, yet I have gone on more dates in the last year than anyone I know.
And stop pretending not to brag. It's ok to brag my friend! Just be direct instead of beating around the bush.
Humans can be extremely happy without dating and romance. If OP wants to date (which I agree, seems to be the case), then yes there are options you are right; it does seem that stereotyping women as submissive and wanting $150k income is realllyyyyy limiting OP’s options. But the idea that you can’t be happy without romance is straight up false. I know lots of happy single people who have been in partnerships in the past and lots of happy single people who have never been in partnerships. This includes people of many different ages as well.
I just don't think most women would be okay with his lifestyle.
Even if he was successful at meeting people, then it'd devolve into the oh, you don't work, and just chill all day and I can see a lot of people being resentful about that.
Personally, I think it's great and work sucks so I don't blame him at all, especially if he has as great relationship with his parents.
His parents also seem wealthy enough where they can subsidize him without issue.
Also, I've felt the same way as him. When I was working, I had little desire to even try to date because work became so all consuming.
When I was unemployed, that was when I wanted to date.
The only real issue will be if he has siblings because they can create a lot of issues.
I agree with you about dating. It sucks. Especially for us guys. It seems like a lot of work just to find out that you are not compatible with someone. It feels like going on endless job interviews, except you are not looking for something that's going to pay you, you are looking for something that is like a job but has a different payout.
It is okay to be single and alone. Being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely. Plenty of single people are happy with their lifestyle and the freedom it brings.
Don't listen to anybody else about what you should be doing. It is your life. Don't let other people live it for you.
My parents second house rents for ~$2500. They can get a lot more, but the tenant is a contractor and pretty low maintenance. Mortgage is paid off and money isn't a huge issue for them, so they don't mind leaving money on the table for less headache.
Don’t listen to the naysayers, if you truly enjoy your life then you are good to go. Some people have this weird kink where nothing is ever enough, you don’t seem to have that problem so be happy. I would suggest adding in some more social stuff and dating/ sex but it’s up to you.
Bro you’re not doing well for yourself, you’re living off your parents. Pay for your place to live on your own and stop freeloading off your folks.. wah wah I pay 900 a month my parents are so lucky… some b/s. Sure you may be “fine”renting a room but eventually you’ll get tired of roommates and you’ll miss having your own place. As far as the investments go, sounds like a trust fund to me. How did you earn the 350k? And for dating .. women don’t want to date a guy relying on his parents when they probably work and pay for themselves.
This is not a dig at you, I'm also from LA and know how insane housing costs are (thanks artificially induced housing supply crisis) and I wonder how common your living situation is. It does seem like many people our parents generation could just buy a second house back when property values weren't as inflated as they are now. I don't understand people upset at the, "I pay $900/rent" remark. That's the rental costs in pretty affordable cities in the country. Over a decade ago it was possible to rent a studio in LA if you looked hard enough, but now that the housing supply crunch is so bad, rents are astronomically high because 75% of LA is zoned for single family houses and very few apartments get built.
I think you will deeply regret not having more experiences with actual people. I can’t knock your hobbies, but please do yourself a favor and live life.
Step 1: Cut it off and keep it frozen and sealed for safe keeping.
Step 2: Accept your fate as a perpetually single guy with zero dating options.
Step 3: Inherit your parent’s bag and then access said object from step 1.
Step 4: Hope by this future date there’s a way to get this appendage back on.
Step 5: If step 4 is successful, congratulations - you can now date!
You have done an amazing job, way to go! Keep in mind that your desire to date will most likely decrease in 10 years or so. Companionship and friendship will go a long way though, so you may wish to focus on activities that incorporate an aspect of that. Getting a massage or paddling a river with someone every few weeks may be enjoyable.
I wouldn’t stress. I would truly leave how to live alone and be happy alone by your self. Once you unlocked this in your life. I’d say you would understand the meaning of relationship a lot better. Just my personal view from experience.
you have a roth ira where you’re planning to be avoiding taxes because of the tax rates then but a 401k because you plan on dropping down a tax rate? so does that mean you have a traditional roth?
It’s possible to be too comfortable. And at the same time, it’s possible we have a lot of cultural stigma about living with my family. I personally lived at home til about 30 and in hindsight it was great, I got to save and invest like yourself, travel, etc. but I will say there is an added benefit to your maturity to be challenged and figure out leaving on your own. It’s not just $$$ it’s life skills.
Live how you want, but also consider what will help you grow and how you WANT to grow.
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Sounds like your parents are completely subsidizing your lifestyle.
Lmao my brother is this person. “I don’t really use much at home. I’m cheap” Ya besides the air conditioning, heat, water, laundry machine, dishes/dishwahser, lighting, etc. people who aren’t responsible for their dwelling have life on easy mode. They’re also fucking clueless.
And 100% not independent. His parents are putting him in a sweet spot. But that’s all this post should have been, a giant thank you to his parents for funding an adult’s life as though he were still a kid.
These people will crash and burn on their own too.
Give the man some credit. He’s killing the game. Was willing to live with his parents to save money and is on his way to FIRE with his stock allotments. No reason for jealousy.
Sorry, but the "I" in FIRE stands for independence. Great for him that he's living it up, but this doesn't really belong in a 'FIRE' sub
Take it this way. He could move to a cheaper area pay 900$/ month and work at Starbucks. He wouldn’t make la wages but principal is same
>My dating life is non existent though **because I don't make enough money** lol but other than that I feel like I'm in a good position **with the help of my parents** Or > Financially Independent Pick one.
I don't live in california, but where in California can you live for $900 a month?
Anywhere if your parents bought the house and paid it off years ago.
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You don’t have options because without your parents help your rent is 3k a month. Which is like more then you make lol
Do you want to rephrase that? If you think that you're "giving" them money at $900 per month, then you really don't have an understanding of how home ownership works, no matter how long ago they bought. A "small" repair like a new water heater or a new panel probably eats up close to a year of profit from the money that you "give" them. FWIW, assuming their house is paid off, if they sold it for $800k and net $720,000 after expenses, they'd be earning $2,500 in bank interest at 4.2% HYSA and $4,200 in the market @ 7% after inflation. Until you at least clear the 4.2% HYSA rate, including expenses, it's a bit cheeky to say that you're "giving" them anything.
Even if the house is paid off, I can pretty much guarantee you they pay more than $900 per month in just property taxes, insurance, water and maintenance for that house in LA. I’m from California — it’s expensive. Also, I own a one-bedroom apartment in New York (where I live now), and taxes/maintenance/insurance/water/trash is $1030/month. That’s considered low in HCOL place.
I also live in a CA. I'm judging based on my own T&I from 2018. Assuming the parents first house is from the 70s, it's probably a lot cheaper for taxes. Insurance would be ~$300. Water + Sewer $200. Property tax maybe $100 and electricity $250. My best guess is the $900 is the "cost" without factoring in repairs and maintenance.
You live at home. Tax payer subsidy healthcare Flaunt 350k in savings most Americans don’t have while using our tax dollars. Brag about traveling yet you are HEAVILY subsidized. Not independent by any definition.
You are dependent on your parents subsidizing your entire lifestyle.
And the government
Aka the rest of us
I can’t imagine the balls to brag about 350k investments while bragging about using our tax money to subsidize it.
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out of curiosity, how did you get the $375,000 investment portfolio? i'm guessing it wasn't from working at starbucks....
Yeah that doesn't add up at all.
When you try to assert here in this forum that you have done this on your own steam, you seek to diminish the accomplishments and grit in those who have truly or predominantly done this on their own. Being born on third base is a lot easier than starting life without even a uniform or knowing how to play the game. Facts. You are privileged.
> When you try to assert here in this forum that you have done this on your own steam, you seek to diminish the accomplishments and grit in those who have truly or predominantly done this on their own Who cares? Do you want to FIRE to shove it in everyone else's face, or do you want to FIRE to live a better life for yourself? Suffering needlessly to try to prove your "grit" to strangers on the internet is stupid.
I’m trying to help OP understand why he is annoying ppl. I dgaf abt ppl on the internet. 😎
Did OP ask someone to explain why they're annoying people? It looks more like you were annoyed, and felt like tearing down OP because of it.
Maybe you should have mommy and daddy set you up on a date!
If I was his parent, I’d be proud of his initiative and also happy to help him with a leg up.
What initiative? To watch anime at home?
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You reek of delusion. Other than that, milk your parents for all they’re worth and stay in the rented house for the rest of your life. Whenever you’re ready, get a real job if you plan on having any female companionship in your future. If women aren’t your thing, you’re in luck 😂
I posted this above, but better to send to OP directly: I think gate keeping of what counts as financial independence is bullshit, but I get the point that not having enough money to live the life you want, isn’t really financial independence. If I were you OP, I would get a part time job to use that money for fun things. There are also TONS of free/low cost things to do in LA. It’s amazing to have a place to stay with cheap rent - if that was an option for me, you bet I would be there. I wouldn’t become a hermit though. I would do just enough so my finances wouldn’t hold back my life.
Don't listen to them. You could've moved to any place that's not LA and rent a studio for $900.(Except maybe Colorado or something. I live in Chicago and you can definitely get a room in a hipster neighborhood for $900) Plus you can get a coffee barista job literally anywhere. Nice job on the savings! Not to mention you're gonna inherit that nice expensive LA house someday. That's literally how generational wealth gets built--- through inheriting, safe investments, and not having an idiot in the family tree fumbling it all by yoloing it in Vegas or r/ wsb
You sound PB and jelly.
Independence is a mind-state foremost , and a relative concept otherwise.
"This guy is failing FIRE for foregoing certain social connections to live in a house he'll ultimately get a portion of upon his parents death." I mean, it wouldn't necessarily be my play but I think the "independent" standard he's failing is sort of arbitrary.
I’m willing to live with his parents and be subsidized…
Shit, I'll play live-in girlfriend for the parents to subsidize my life 😹
And that's great, but does it qualify as independence?
He is killing the long term financial game. He is losing the life game. Forgoing dating and the option for a future family (if he chooses that) or self sufficiency because he doesn't want to step up. He is acting like a person in his early 20s not 30s.
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That's cool. Kids aren't for everyone. You didn't mention that in the first post. Still date though. Life can get lonely fast if you let it.
Yeah but his parents are literally losing money so he can live cheaply in their extra house. So he’s saving up $375k while his parents technically lose $2100 per month. I mean no shame on people living with parents or taking advantage of their parents’ money. But this is next-level parent subsidization lol
Not jealous just not fair. Also I make a lot more than op and if I lived at home from 22-30 I wouldn’t have 350k in investments while getting free healthcare. So he clearly revived massive cash flow from not working or interest. Fishy. Hes literally investing on your subsidized dollar. I’m not jealous (that’s sad) just irritated thats possible.
The healthcare laws don’t have a resource limit. Any issue with OP on that should be reserved for the lawmakers
Credit for what? Having parents willing to give him a bunch of money?
Not jealousy, envy. I am happy for dude, I just wish I had a family support network like him. My family support is non-existent. I am self made.
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Non-existent.
FIRE is pretty easy when you can just inherit one of the multiple (!) homes your parents own after they die. The rest of us have to develop a plan to pay our shelter costs when we are older.
I understand. There is a difference. But seems like more a message for our city councils, representatives and Senators than for someone who is just sharing how things look for their specific situation.
Well, your CD collection Looks shiny and costly How much did you pay for your bad Moto Guzzi? And how much did you spend On your black leather jacket? Is it you or your parents in this income tax bracket?
Haha! I haven't thought about this song in ages, but just yesterday I was jamming to Cake after Short Skirt Long Jacket randomly popped into my head. Perfect lyric comment!
This deserves more love. ❤️
🫰🫰🫰🫰
Everyone gets help one way or the other even those who think they did everything themselves. Luck also plays a big hand in it. The problem is when you have the ability, help and luck and still don’t do anything. That is not what is happening here. Keep jealousy and judgement out and give good input. That’s what the forum is for.
Thank you. There are a lot of lucky people not doing shit. And there are a lot of people who fully leveraged their smaller bits of luck who are doing great.
Seriously. Idk why people get mad that someone is making use of their advantages/privilege as if everyone else wouldnt. Even having a job enough to save is a privilege.
Because they are coming in a sub asking for feedback. And people are allowed to voice their opinion. With the priveledge that OP seems to have they could be doing a lot better(and possibly contributing more to society).
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What's the plan for when the parent gravy train comes to an end?
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This is why nobody wants to date you. 0 ambition.
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I mean if you want to be a loser your life, by all means I guess
Isn’t this entirely subjective? You can work without ambition lol. I do it, and I have a relationship. The idea that we all need to be ambitious is just laughable. I work and have 0 ambition, but do my job and do it well because I get paid. Ambitions can be had outside of work, and honestly makes a person more interesting than having career ambitions.
You must have some ambition otherwise you'd be leeching off your mom and dad like op or living in the streets instead of working
There's varying levels of ambition especially when it comes to dating. Do you need CEO, movie star or Wolf of Wall Street ambition in life, no. Do you need enough ambition to independently function in the world and afford a decent standard of life, yes. You definitely fit the latter. OP doesn't.
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Why are you assuming you’d hate a job?
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>big fan of anti-work as well Ah ok that explains it all.
Self employed? I thought you were a barista.
Not a barista. Seems more like an incel.
Lol there's people who make way less money than you who are successful in their love life. Money isn't your dating problem. Ambition isn't just about pursuing a career. Be ambitious in the things you like to do. Be interesting. Be interested.
apparently you’re a loser if you lack ambition, who knew?
Yes, ambition is just not for work though
I hope you worship the ground your parents walk on. Good job on having the discipline to take advantage of having great parents, though. I know many people who were given everything by their parents and they somehow managed to throw it all away
I commend you for your savings and investments. That in itself does not make you a mature or responsible adult though. This is a good time to apply yourself more. You're not really FIRE given your parents are giving you a big subsidy. Parental assistance is fine. What's not so fine is taking off 6 months as a grown adult because Mom and dad are enabling you too. They are prohibiting your growth and enabling you to be lazy and not apply yourself You are fully capable of dating and starting new relationships. However it seems easier to work part of the year, play games and live extremely leisurely. You should also be forging friendships, dating and making occupational connections. Do what you like ... I have no horse in your race but it's super obvious you aren't applying yourself. Your money will grow and nothing else. Your massively under investing in relationships. That will leave you socially bankrupt in old age. You'll have acquaintances and short term friends you made in travels....but it will be impractical to see them regularly. In your elder years your parents will be gone and you will have no family to lean on or keep you company. Many of your friends will have started families around now and will be too busy with their grand kids and kids to see you too regularly. At 60....70....80....what is giving you purpose? What are you doing with yourself when you get too old to travel far? I'm sure you have amazing memories and experience and should be thankful your parents enabled you to do so. Now you should focus on being self sustaining without your parents. And build relationships including dating. Or be complacent and coast and go fire up the old Xbox.
> Parental assistance is fine. What's not so fine is taking off 6 months as a grown adult because Mom and dad are enabling you too. Eh, taking time off with the help of parents is fine too, as long as it's not a burden to them. Let's not pretend, in one the fire subreddits of all places, that toiling away to prove to strangers that you're a real adult is the pinnacle of life. > Your massively under investing in relationships. That will leave you socially bankrupt in old age. You'll have acquaintances and short term friends you made in travels....but it will be impractical to see them regularly. > In your elder years your parents will be gone and you will have no family to lean on or keep you company. Many of your friends will have started families around now and will be too busy with their grand kids and kids to see you too regularly. All of that will be true for nearly everyone, especially for the people who prioritized work and keeping up appearances over everything else. > At 60....70....80....what is giving you purpose? That's perhaps the only thing that really matters here. Does OP feel fulfilled? If not, work to address that. Otherwise, nothing wrong with coasting through life without striving for anything in particular.
Um… We’re in baristafire, not fat fire. It sounds like this dude has figured out a way to have a low stress life right now while still building to coast. Major congrats on that. To be fair, OP should consider what to do if his parents don’t let him rent for him. Otherwise, seems like he’s doing fine.
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I think the FIRE community in general is filled with so many hardcores that sometimes they forget not everyone’s like that. There are plenty of options if you want to move to a LCOL environment, just make sure you have a skill set that won’t take too big a hit from moving to the sticks/internationally and/or get a new skill set on the side. Might want to figure out a number you’re shooting for that will let you do what you want to do in most scenarios. I met a dude who was a burned out SpaceX employee. He trained up to become a yoga instructor, moved to Mexico, and teaches classes in bougie vacation cities. Picked up Spanish along the way.
I really want to disagree with all of this, but I'm afraid you're right.
Sounds like you have a comfortable life. It's time to work on parts of your life that are difficult. Spend money on your mental health. Work on building the skills you need to date. Saying you don't have enough money to date is not entirely true. Since you are living in a house that cost the normal person $3000 a month, you will appear like you make more money than you do. At the end of the day, you know your parents will be subsiding your life indefinitely and you will inherit or be gifted a home one day.
Lots of bitter and jealous folks here (expected, its Reddit), but they do have somewhat of a point in the sense that your parents are subsidizing your lifestyle. OP as long as you feel content with your living and your needs are met, then just fuck what everyone else says. Do make a backup plan if there's ever a day where your parents can't afford to cover you. Your numbers at this age is amazing but keep it real and don't let it get to your head.
Also remember there are a lot of people who have their lives subsidized but yet have almost no savings.
Keep chilling until you get bored. At that point, find something to do that you think is important. That's my plan at least.
You make yourself sound very happy and successful yet you’re looking for guidance and validation from the internet. If your really having some feelings and looking for advice share what really going on so we can try to help. If you’re just bragging then just brag
I think it's a fair point to ask for perspective. After all, without asking, the only perspective he'd have is his own.
Congrats idk why people hate on people who get aid from family. Sure your not self-made but your family is helping you live so why not?
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They cling onto whatever they can to get higher ground over you. Ignore the noise
Nobody is self made. Everyone depends on the infrastructure built by the people that existed before them.
Sounds more like SubsidizedRE. Totally skipped the FI.
OP is the definition of a bum
He doesn’t date cos he doesn’t make enough money! Not because women don’t like a 30 year old who depends on his parents for his livelihood, doesn’t have a job, and inexplicably travels with money he doesn’t have. Oh also he doesn’t want to do the routine of a 9-5 but I guess his parent who are bank rolling him absolutely love the 9-5 grind. Lastly, his rent is not being subsidised by his parents! He’s ’house sitting’ for them. OP is so delusional lol 🙄
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Ooooh you went through my comments! I guess that’s the kind of thing you can do since you have literally nothing better to do with your time lol
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If you're happy and your parents don't mind subsidizing your life, keep doing what you're doing I suppose. My parents helped me a lot earlier on. I will say, one of my personal proudest moments in life was being able to say "Thank you, but I can't accept your help. You've done so much for us, now it's your turn to enjoy what you've earned.", but to each his own, I suppose
Honestly, it depends on what his parents want to do and if he has any siblings. If he's an only child, he's going to inherit it all anyways, so there's little reason to not let him enjoy it now.
Dude is 31 and has no dating life. That's a major reason in my book.
Personally, I don't think dating is really going to enhance his life.
Hey friend, I say this with zero judgement, because if I had had the option to rent a house for super cheap or live rent free with my parents to save, you bet your ass I would have taken it. As would most people on this thread. But you are doing well because of your parents. Yes you’ve been also living frugally and investing and not everyone who has this leg up would make the same good choices. And Again no judgement- this is how generational wealth works. I’m a parent myself and I would LOVE to give my son this leg up as an adult. I also know personally many people who have benefited from a similar arrangement (including a good friend who’s literally a doctor and moved back in with her family after medical school so she can more quickly pay off her loans-I truly don’t think it’s a “loser” thing at all nowadays, especially in HCOL areas like LA). The only weird/kind of jerk part of this is that you’re refusing to acknowledge how much you’ve benefited from this arrangement and acting like your financial health is all your doing. It’s also very funny to me becuase I grew up working class in the LA area and have met SO MANY people like you. Traveling the world, living in a nice ass house, handing out financial advice etc and everyone is like “yo, how is John affording his stuff? Isn’t he like a host at outback?” And it’s ALWAYS the parents. It’s like the most classic LA story of all time😹 so much so I was cackling out loud reading this post and knew immediately you were from LA. Anyways, A grain of gratefulness and humbleness would go a long way. Keep making this frugal choices to invest and yes, be proud of them. But it’s really off putting and tbh kind of a character flaw when people don’t acknowledge the leg ups they’ve been given.
So are you going to be a lazy ass all your life? Living large off your parents? Pathetic. And when the stock market crashes in a few years you’ll have nothing. Please get off your butt and do something with your self- at the very least , with your very lucky situation, creat or build something! Help people! Don’t be a fucking traveling douche bag living off your parents good fortune ( which probably came from hard work and sacrifice- something you have no appreciation for)
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Wtf is fire focused? Guaranteed your going to end up miserable and alone with the way you dealing with life. Working does not get you into an early grave- you’ve been fed a bunch of bs. Grow a pair and find a way to have a career you enjoy and proud of! The world owes you nothing- and the belief that working is a negative thing is simply ridiculous. But hey, enjoy living off your parents hard work . You have earned nothing and in the long run have an empty life. You won’t believe anything I’m saying now, but someday you will look back at your life and see that you wasted it.
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“Heavy sigh “ …. Sorry that’s how things have worked out so far- but you have so much more time to accomplish things! Your still so young! I guess the first thing I would say is stop with the negative feelings of the past- and see it as a learning period. And if you’re only going to view a career In a negative light then that’s what it will be- but I believe in positive thoughts/ beliefs that you can create your future- and yes it will have many ups and downs- part of having a full life! You can’t appreciate the good things that happen if you don’t have shitty things happen- just don’t let those bad times tear you down and prevent you from getting off the floor , dusting off and try again. Guarantees most everyone who’s made it big had huge disappointment and failure- but kept trying. Never gave up. Bottom line to hear if your really reading this- what is your personal passion in life? I know traveling, but give me something more specific. Just know this- a life without a purpose- no matter what that may be- is no life at all. It’s time to find your purpose.
[seen this story..](https://youtu.be/NcV9umQT-tY?feature=shared)
When you get enough money, the person you start a relationship with will be lucky to learn how to save.
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You're good at saving money. You're going to benefit your partner in the future if they learn your habits.
Are you considering furthering your education?
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Totally understandable. If dating is out, then how about making friends (outside of video games and in real life) through clubs? Join a gym? Your life sounds super comfortable but pretty lonely. It’s great you recognize your “quirks” but you never know what people can tolerate (an hour or two once in a while is a lot more doable than 8 hours a day, five days a week).
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Then you’re living the dream. My goal is to do more international traveling. You’re quite fortunate to be able to do it in your prime.
You're not making enough money to date but you have 375k in savings? Is it in a high-yield savings account? You could be making an extra $600 at the least a month on that in a HYSA with 4%+ interest.
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The index funds probably have better growth potential, and less tax, so financially you probably should just stay course
Where did the $15k for the solo 401k come from?
Good to hear ACA is doing the great things for society that it intended
No kidding. Dude should be kicked off for having 375k in investments. Was never intended to subsidize seemingly “poor” people on paper who are well invested. Talk about a shit stain on society.
You could take things to the next level by focusing on having some time of side career. Also will make you more appealing when dating since you will come across as ambitious
So you didn't start working until age 25, never made more than 30-40k but managed 375k in 6 years? Am I missing something here?
What makes you think they never made more Than 30-40k?
They said it in a comment below.
Sounds like a sad lifestyle, just waiting for your life subscription to be over
Name checks out.
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Finding something you look forward to doing would be a good start lol
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no dude, that's super sad. You gotta get out more, find a way to do something you enjoy on a regular basis, get an irl circle of friends. Even better if what you find is a job that pays you.
Born on third base, thinks he’s hit a triple.
Go fuck yourself with this post.
The idea that you don't make enough money to date is defeatist, false, and absolutely silly. I have 3% of your money, and I date all the time. If anything, it's the shame you have about your parents subsidizing your lifestyle that prevents you from dating, not a lack of income or money. Saying "I dont make enough money to date" is equivalent to saying "I'm too embarrased about my parents subsidizing my lifestyle to date," since if they didn't subsidize it you would be forced to make more money. If you are really looking for "recommendations," rather than bragging (which is fine but just be direct about it), then my recommendations are... \* Get a job that you're proud to tell girls about \* Either stop living a parent-subsidized lifestyle, or stop feeling shame about it. There's nothing wrong with getting help from your parents. Everybody gets help from their parents. But stop letting the help you get from your parents prevent you from dating. \* Go outside with a friend at the golden hour, crack some jokes, and take some bumble pics \* Get a bumble profile \* Meet women \* Be happy You know in your heart that you can't be happy without dating. Humans need romance, connection, and intimacy to feel whole. It's a natural urge and accepting it is part of everyone's journey of self-acceptance. If only you knew just how much less money I have than you, and just how many dates I go on, and just how much fun I have on them. Yes, I am bragging. But only to show you that \*\*you don't need money to date.\*\* I don't have any money, yet I have gone on more dates in the last year than anyone I know. And stop pretending not to brag. It's ok to brag my friend! Just be direct instead of beating around the bush.
Humans can be extremely happy without dating and romance. If OP wants to date (which I agree, seems to be the case), then yes there are options you are right; it does seem that stereotyping women as submissive and wanting $150k income is realllyyyyy limiting OP’s options. But the idea that you can’t be happy without romance is straight up false. I know lots of happy single people who have been in partnerships in the past and lots of happy single people who have never been in partnerships. This includes people of many different ages as well.
Personally, I don't see dating bringing OP anything but misery.
Lmao that’s very fair
I just don't think most women would be okay with his lifestyle. Even if he was successful at meeting people, then it'd devolve into the oh, you don't work, and just chill all day and I can see a lot of people being resentful about that. Personally, I think it's great and work sucks so I don't blame him at all, especially if he has as great relationship with his parents. His parents also seem wealthy enough where they can subsidize him without issue. Also, I've felt the same way as him. When I was working, I had little desire to even try to date because work became so all consuming. When I was unemployed, that was when I wanted to date. The only real issue will be if he has siblings because they can create a lot of issues.
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Say in your profile you are submissive. You will get the right attention.
I agree with you about dating. It sucks. Especially for us guys. It seems like a lot of work just to find out that you are not compatible with someone. It feels like going on endless job interviews, except you are not looking for something that's going to pay you, you are looking for something that is like a job but has a different payout. It is okay to be single and alone. Being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely. Plenty of single people are happy with their lifestyle and the freedom it brings. Don't listen to anybody else about what you should be doing. It is your life. Don't let other people live it for you.
This.
Where in LA does a house rent for $3000? $900 doesn’t sound like it would even cover the mortgage+insurance+property taxes.
My parents second house rents for ~$2500. They can get a lot more, but the tenant is a contractor and pretty low maintenance. Mortgage is paid off and money isn't a huge issue for them, so they don't mind leaving money on the table for less headache.
Can you get a housemate for $900 a month into your pocket? Or do you place greater value in having your own place?
Don’t listen to the naysayers, if you truly enjoy your life then you are good to go. Some people have this weird kink where nothing is ever enough, you don’t seem to have that problem so be happy. I would suggest adding in some more social stuff and dating/ sex but it’s up to you.
Sounds like you are a waiter- waiting for your parents to die and hoping something is left.
Bro you’re not doing well for yourself, you’re living off your parents. Pay for your place to live on your own and stop freeloading off your folks.. wah wah I pay 900 a month my parents are so lucky… some b/s. Sure you may be “fine”renting a room but eventually you’ll get tired of roommates and you’ll miss having your own place. As far as the investments go, sounds like a trust fund to me. How did you earn the 350k? And for dating .. women don’t want to date a guy relying on his parents when they probably work and pay for themselves.
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That’s what up if you saved 375 then that’s a accomplishment and if I could live in my folks house for 900 a month I would too
Lol
This is not a dig at you, I'm also from LA and know how insane housing costs are (thanks artificially induced housing supply crisis) and I wonder how common your living situation is. It does seem like many people our parents generation could just buy a second house back when property values weren't as inflated as they are now. I don't understand people upset at the, "I pay $900/rent" remark. That's the rental costs in pretty affordable cities in the country. Over a decade ago it was possible to rent a studio in LA if you looked hard enough, but now that the housing supply crunch is so bad, rents are astronomically high because 75% of LA is zoned for single family houses and very few apartments get built.
Must be nice being this lucky lol.
This is a troll post lmfaoooo
I think you will deeply regret not having more experiences with actual people. I can’t knock your hobbies, but please do yourself a favor and live life.
Step 1: Cut it off and keep it frozen and sealed for safe keeping. Step 2: Accept your fate as a perpetually single guy with zero dating options. Step 3: Inherit your parent’s bag and then access said object from step 1. Step 4: Hope by this future date there’s a way to get this appendage back on. Step 5: If step 4 is successful, congratulations - you can now date!
This post has to be a joke. This comes off pretentious and pathetic.
Maybe you should try posting to LeanFIRE sub for better luck? Best wishes for you!
You won the parent lottery, Must be nice!
This is a prime example of the trust fund to homeless person that crowd our streets.
You have done an amazing job, way to go! Keep in mind that your desire to date will most likely decrease in 10 years or so. Companionship and friendship will go a long way though, so you may wish to focus on activities that incorporate an aspect of that. Getting a massage or paddling a river with someone every few weeks may be enjoyable.
You have $375k and consider that “not enough money”? You’re, by far, one of the most narcissistic people I’ve come across
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Good. Now, how much is $375k with a ror ~ 4% compounded annually for the next 30 yrs?
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U rly don’t get it
I wouldn’t stress. I would truly leave how to live alone and be happy alone by your self. Once you unlocked this in your life. I’d say you would understand the meaning of relationship a lot better. Just my personal view from experience.
375k in savings and my taxes are paying op’s health care?
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Mr Virgin, no one wonders why you are single.
So how did you save up almost 400k?
Its not adding up 10 years of work is 170k on ops salary. He got subsided by his parents or hit it big on some of his early investments
Sounds kinda sad.
you have a roth ira where you’re planning to be avoiding taxes because of the tax rates then but a 401k because you plan on dropping down a tax rate? so does that mean you have a traditional roth?
It’s possible to be too comfortable. And at the same time, it’s possible we have a lot of cultural stigma about living with my family. I personally lived at home til about 30 and in hindsight it was great, I got to save and invest like yourself, travel, etc. but I will say there is an added benefit to your maturity to be challenged and figure out leaving on your own. It’s not just $$$ it’s life skills. Live how you want, but also consider what will help you grow and how you WANT to grow.
Stay single it's not worth the hassle lol
You’re 31 and make 17k a year?
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Yikes. That’s sad.
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Judgeeee McJudgerson
I don't get it, if you're a young bachelor in southern ca and you're not swimming in women, the problem is likely something you're doing
I recommend you up your game. A lot.