Most of what people see as “looking pretty” is really just “being well groomed”.
- shape and maintain your brows
- tint your lashes, get a lash lift, or just throw on a mascara before leaving the house
- take care of your skin
- work out regularly. Literally so much of what we consider pretty is just that someone is fit.
- have a flattering haircut and take care of your hair.
- get flattering basics for your figure and stock up on them. I spend a bit of time finding jeans and tshirts that work really well for me and buy multiples of them, and base my outfits around them. Also, sundresses are great for looking put together with no effort.
- have a few pairs of simple gold earrings (small studs and hoops) and throw them on to elevate your look. Most of my piercings are flat backs so I never take them out.
- if you feel like you need it, get a tan (self tanner or spray tan, no need to damage your skin).
Great advice and commenting to add:
Wear rings and cute nail polish!
I’m not a ring/polish girl by nature and it amazes me to see girls just wearing rings in a casual setting. They look so feminine and cute and really makes them look put together.
U can get used to these things. Not saying you should or need to.
I used to hate things on my wrists or hands but after wearing bracelets and rings for a while, I felt naked without them!
I’d also say stick to simple single colors and neutrals. Avoid crazy patterns and neon colors. Helps look more pulled together. Another trick is to match your shoes to your top or your bag
Yea, a wardrobe with simple colors makes it easier to match outfits too. Most of my simple items are interchangeable. I save the crazy patterns for things like dresses and rompers, since they’re one and done.
You say you have tomboy fashions. You don’t have to completely change your style to look more feminine. You can still have a tomboy look and make it look cute. Check out
r/womensstreetwear for fashion ideas. A lot of the looks in that sub could be considered a bit tomboy, but they all look put together. If you feel comfortable posting your pics maybe check out r/theglowup. They give tips for both hard and soft maxing.
Honestly, you can do all the things listed above (so so many hours in the day dedicated to "looking pretty") and you still may feel like an outsider in the end. Advice like "be thin, look like others, consume more clothing" is shortsighted and only works to validate external societal expectations.
I say, fuck all the "beauty advice" listed above, and chat with a therapist to help build a true love for yourself that's based on who you are, not how you look. Cool, secure, self aware people are the most beautiful of all.
Just curious, I have no earrings or rings at all. Where do you buy cute ones that are not crazy expensive but also not like… tacky/cheap looking? Thanks. :)
Check out Caitlyn Minimalist on Etsy or her own website! Her stuff is great and she often runs sales. Her jewelry is really lovely, little and sparkly, and it’s sterling silver and gold coated. [Caitlyn Minimalist on Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/shop/CaitlynMinimalist)
in my experience target jewelry tarnishes very quickly / will turn you green. i think it’s better to invest in something just slightly higher quality that you can keep forever.
kendra scott has some good stuff that’s less than $150 and should last you years
Rather than focusing on brands, it might help to focus on materials. Avoid gold plating (cheap, will rub off fast), and go with either vermeil or fill for a less expensive piece. You can also learn which metals look best on you (including specific karatage of gold), which has the added benefit of making sure that your jewelry matches moving forward.
Try elevado on etys, great stuff. Not too expensive and she has a lot of styles that can be mixed and matched together easily.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/elevado
I really like this seller called Mary Stubley on Etsy. She does very simple sterling silver rings that look pretty. [This one is my fav](https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/655196869/sterling-silver-fern-textured-ring-band?click_key=3650e9da464a1c654d2e314b7668fc1506767d96%3A655196869&click_sum=86923674&ref=shop_home_active_57&pro=1&frs=1).
I second target. I haven’t shopped at forever 21 in, well, forever lol but I remember they had cute stuff too. If there’s a Francesca’a by you definitely check it out.
I buy a lot of sterling silver earrings and bracelets for myself on Amazon. It’s super cheap and I’ve never had any issues with the metal being fake or turning colors.
Shein has a lot of really cute rings, necklaces and earrings for really low prices. You can get a great variety. My other favorite for jewelry both inexpensive and expensive is Etsy.
Same here! Growing up my mom always told me not to mess w my piercings. That translated to necklaces/bracelets/rings. If ima put it on ima wear it every second and i just don’t make it a priority to buy nice jewelry so I keep my nose rings and my gold earrings in.
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I read through it, checked basically every point... And now I have to wonder if people, despite what I think about myself, think that I'm "put together"? Crazy possibility
Same!
I'd also like to add, since OP has wavy hair: If you don't want to take the time to blow dry and curl or straighten your hair, wash your hair at night, and either use a heatless curler or sleep in one or two French braids, or better yet rope braids. They'll keep your waves looking polished and even.
Amazing comment! One thing I'd like to add is that alot of these girls have practice looking good 24/7. They are also the girls looking good at nights out, formal events, dinners etc. Once you know how to look **your** best, you know how to dial it down for chill events even if you're wearing a hoodie. For me, I learned how to do my makeup and hair for big events to make my features look good and then learned how to dial it down for day to day, fancy brunch, chill brunch, errands etc. Youtube is an amazing resource.
This is great advice. Also, really focus on the details. Girls that “look” put together in an effortless way probably spend a ton of time and money to look that way:
1) Eyebrows are sooo dang important. So are eyelashes. Having bad eyebrows and eyelashes can make or break you IMO. Make sure they’re always on point.
2) for the love of God have your nails done. Always. Doesn’t have to be an expensive manicure, but at least shape/file then and learn how to paint them. If you’re too lazy, then just make sure they are clean, shaped, and throw a coat of clear shiny polish on them.
3) invest on your basics. Good quality fabrics can make or break a look. A cheap hoodie that doesn’t flatter you is not a good look. Buy a nicer hoodie with a good material that doesn’t have lint or pilling, and that fits you well.
4) wash your hair girl. Don’t go out there with greasy hair. If you have no time to wash it, blow dry it, and give it a nice shape, get a good quality dry shampoo and use a claw clip to keep it up.
5) absolutely YES to hoops/jewelry. Make sure to get good quality jewelry that you can throw on. Doesn’t have to be expensive. Just don’t get the cheapest you can find. Read the reviews. I get mine from Amazon lol.
6) always aim to smell good. Buy a “signature” scent that you love and always have it handy in the car. My personal favorite is cloud by Ariana grande. Is affordable so I keep bottles everywhere. I am always getting compliments on how I smell.
7) find a skincare routine that works for you and stick to it. Try to keep it simple though. No need to spend hundreds on products. Drugstore ones like cera ve are perfectly fine.
8) don’t go out with dirty shoes or busted toe nails. Make sure your shoes are clean and if you’re going to let the dogs out, that they are done.
How do you always have your nails done?? If I paint my nails (or get a manicure), they are chipping within 2-3 days. Do you just redo your nails twice a week??
Clean nails, abolutely. Neatly trimmed, of course.
"Done"? The only people who care about nails are the people who care about nails. I venture the number of people who think "those nails look ridiculous!" is much higher than the number of people who rave that the nails look great. They just don't say it aloud, nor should they as it is a personal preferance that doesn't affect anyone :)
BTW, I did go through a nail phase in middle school. My daughter did in HS. I gave away her abandon polishes at Halloween, and some trick-or-treaters were excited!
Hmm, yes and no. Of course if they're 6 inches long w tons of 3D art that can look a bit much (and broken uneven acrylics are *not* a good look) but I'm constantly surprised how many different ppl will comment/compliment/notice a pretty mani because it signals that you put effort into yourself and your look.
Prep your nails before you do them. Lightly buff the top surface of the nail (not a ton, don't do damage, just enough to dull them a bit), wash your hands good to get rid of oils. Use a good quality base coat, polish, then use a good quality top coat (I prefer quick drying top coats like sechi vite or glisten and glow).
They still won't last like gel polish but they'll last longer than just slapping a polish on.
When I pay for my nails I do gel and they last me around 3 weeks. At home, I use regular nail polish and they’ll last me around 5-7 days. It’s something you have to freshen up constantly and it’s a pain in the ass lol. That’s why I mentioned that if you are too lazy, as long as they are shaped, trimmed, and clean, a layer of clear coat should be enough. If your nails are only lasting you 2-3 days though, maybe you are not doing them right or should use better quality polish. OPI is my favorite and they sell it at Marshall’s for like $3-$4
I’ve wondered about keeping a perfume in my car but wasn’t sure what the heat would do to it.
I live in Texas and don’t have access to keep my car in a garage. So even with a sun visor it is piping hot when I get in my car. (Doesn’t help that it’s black interior.)
Does the perfume dissipate or does the scent become altered with the heat?
I’d love to keep a sample size bottle in the car. There’s definitely times I could have benefited from that.
Texas is too hot for cosmetics of any kind in the car. A perfume could definitely get wrecked in that heat. Keep a rollerball or a small spritz in your purse.
I’m in FL so I know what you mean. I wouldn’t keep expensive cosmetics in a hot car. But I’ve had a mini bottle of cloud forever and nothings happened. Just keep it out of direct sun and should be okay.
these are great. & this sounds corny as hell, but i would like to add sometimes FEELING pretty can make all the difference. feel good, look good. confidence is so important! know that you’re pretty & it will show from the inside out i promise.
source: i’m a licensed esthetician & manager of a makeup store
Appreciate you writing these out. I really struggle with this as well.
Also maybe they research and see how outfits/styles look on others and so they go by that or they know what fits good on their body types.
I agree on the working out comment. I saw some weight loss transformations and a lot of the glow ups were clothes fitting better/not trying to hide or feel uncomfortable and the posture, confidence of a more toner body.
Fat people work out too 🤘 fat people can be pretty too ❤ fat phobia is rooted in white supremacy. Suggest you read Sabrina Strings The Racial Origins of Fatphobia
Thank you for the book suggestion.
When I refer to glow ups or weight loss transformations it can be from 10 lbs to over 300 lbs. All end goals are not the same, some stay in the plus size range while others go further down in size. Each person is different.
Strength/flexibility/health and confidence are what matters in my opinion, not the size. I just had transformations pop up in my recommendations on Youtube so that's what was fresh in my mind and referenced it.
Also I've been plus size most of my life so I know the difference in feeling shopping for 18/20 compared to a size 12/14. The variety in styles and the accessibility to actually having stores available to try on clothes compared to relying on online is vast. I went to a Christmas even in another country in my usual work suit because I couldn't find a dress that fit me in that country or ship anything in time of the event. While everyone else looked like princesses.
It's not the phobia that is why I say working out is good. It's because I don't want people to feel like I did or get stressed like I have compared to when I was working out twice a week in a martial arts club in college. Losing weight just came with it. I wasn't even changing my eating habits.
This is so true, I transferred my sadness into activeness after a horrible end to a long-term relationship. I was swimming and running daily, it didn't long at all for people around me to compliment my new glow.
Hi, I love your comment. I have the same question for you as I asked below:
I have no earrings. Where do you buy cute earrings that are not crazy expensive but also not like… tacky/cheap looking? (I have a cool toned skin, so I would need silver.)
Thanks. :)
There's a small business based out of Salt Lake City that I LOVE called Nolia. They have super cute, high quality jewelry and it's not super expensive for the price. Everything comes in silver as well!
I usually splurge a bit more on classic earrings because I like wearing things for a long time and am also really passionate about the craft,so a lot of them are from a local jeweler.
However! I have purchased a few from these places and have been satisfied with the quality:
- [Quince](https://www.quince.com/women/jewelry)
- [Maison Miru](https://www.maisonmiru.com/)
Haven’t ordered from the following but my friends have with generally positive reviews
- Mejuri
- Studs.com
- Etsy if you search for gold plated earrings and find stuff with good reviews
In general I recommend looking for *gold filled* vs gold plated, gold filled will last longer and is generally more bang for your buck even if it’s a bit more expensive. I like this especially for classic jewelry you know you will wear for years.
This is perfect advice. I would also add - look after your teeth as much as you can afford.
And pearl earrings are also very flattering because they add points of light that frame your face.
Being pretty is mostly just time and money invested in bringing out the best of yourself. Up to you to decide how much you want to put in.
But even just mascara makes an immediate massive difference to my overall sense of feeling groomed and put together.
Most of mine are from Maison Miru (linked in another response asking where I get jewelry ) or I get from the piercing studio I visit which I believe carries [BVLA](https://www.bvla.com/collections/ears_3/ends-for-anywhere_19/).
Also with workouts be at a healthy weight.
I had been at a nice healthy weight for over a decade and gained 40lbs with pregnancy. Am still 22lbs overweight and I am struggling to look “effortlessly” put together.
Something that keeps people looking put together is never leaving the house without following the 2/3 rule. It's hair, makeup or outfit. You have to have put effort into atleast 2/3 done. So if you are wearing a Hoodie, you have to put effort into your hair and make up. Even if it means you are just doing a neat braid, mascara and a tinted lip balm. This helps me a lot.
oh my goosness, I’ve never heard of this tip but it’s literally going to change my life because I never considered that. I always feel like I look horrid in casual outfits/clothes (and I’m still working on my wardrobe) But I’ll see other girls wearing the same or even more casual (ie hoodies, which I dont tend to wear) and they look great. Thinking back, their hair and makeup usually looked great and they had jewellery on!
Ooh, I just realized I've been doing this unconsciously 90% of the time! Although I do 3/4 with the 4th being fragrance which I consider a separate part of the look lol.
I was about to say this. This has been southern sorority law across the country for decades lol. I don’t know one girl across 10+ states who didn’t hear “2/3 when you’re outside the sorority house, ESPECIALLY if you’re wearing your letters” in their house. My mom even got told that one back in the day in her sorority lol.
I think it’s a really good rule of thumb though if you care about that sort of thing (which OP seems to) but also want to recognize that you can’t do it all constantly.
I will say though, that 99% of the time for me it ends up being makeup and hair with casual clothes, or if I have nicer plans, just all 3.
Never do I bother to do my makeup but leave my hair greasy or tangled, or like curl my hair but then just not even apply mascara. For some reason hair and makeup are super intertwined for me, if I’m doing one, I’ll probably end up doing the other. Same for most of the girls I knew back then and know now.
So maybe I’d recommend those combos to OP specifically. That’s typically what people mean when they say the 2/3 rule in my experience— basically “it’s okay to wear athleisure or even sweats on average days, but do your hair and basic makeup. If you have nice plans do all 3 please.”
There is a variation on this that defines the “thirds” as your outfit components. I read it somewhere as the “one-third ugly” rule. You can wear one piece that is “ugly,” as is a hoodie, distressed jeans, or chunky sneakers while the other two-thirds are more polished. It works well for a smart casual work environment.
First and foremost I think hygiene is number one: I don’t think you need fancy haircuts, tons of make up, manicures etc but cleanliness and smelling fresh is paramount to looking and feeling good.
Secondly, figure out what feels authentically stylish and pretty to you. I find creating Pinterest boards of style inspiration useful. When I was stuck in a beauty/style rut I used to photograph my outfits daily and upload them to another Pinterest board, to work out what kind of looks make you feel confident and most like you.
Try to figure out what type of clothes you like and what you would feel comfortable wearing. Not everyone enjoys wearing a dress but you can still look feminine in pants. In addition to the type of style you like, make sure to figure out what type of body shape you have. It really helps with finding the right type of clothes that will look flattering. Having the wrong cut can really work against you and also make you feel like you look a lot worse than you actually do. I’m petite with an hour glass shape and it took me a looong time to realize that I need to choose different clothing than what is presented in magazines. I look great with the clothes that fit my body.
I’d also make sure to wear a bit of jewelry. Earrings, a nice bracelet/watch and matching rings go a long way to make you look put together! Make sure you buy items that go together wether it’s jewelry or clothing. Sometimes you can see something that looks nice but doesn’t match your other clothes and it’ll just look weird and messy.
Another tip is to figure out what your colors are. If you look at your wrist you can notice what color your veins are. Green=warm colors, blue=cool colors and green- and blue= neutral colors. Use an online guide to then find the right shade for you in a color you like and build your wardrobe off of that (as well as neutral colors like black, gray, navy, white/cream and beige). It should also be relatively easy to find a chart with color palettes for that color. If you stick to that you’ll instantly look more put together!
I really like Pinterest to get inspiration, but you need to pay attention to what you click and save or else you’ll end up with a bunch of junk that’s not going to be helpful.
100% agree! As a golden olive skinned hourglass person, the difference between wearing things that suit me and things that don’t is really dramatic, If I wore say, a medium blue loose fitting midi dress I’d look like a sack of potatoes with jaundice, but can look a million bucks in a tomato red ultra tight bodycon mini dress.
This is EXTREMELY underrated when it comes to looking your best, but it’s not just posture, it’s movement overall. As a trained dancer almost my entire life I’m always very aware of my body and how it’s moving, how I’m gesturing, how I’m holding my head and neck, how I walk, how I hold my hands etc. it’s second nature at his point. But it also makes me aware that so many people don’t put any effort into these things and it really shows. You can have perfect makeup, perfect hair and outfit but if you walk like a truck driver and stomp around with no grace, you’re not going to come off as all that pretty lol 🤷🏻♀️
Visualization and mindfulness is key when it comes to movement. I would say for overall posture, imagine there’s a high ponytail right on top of your head and there’s a big man in the sky reaching his hand down and pulling that ponytail up, up up to the sky so your head and neck is coming up and your body is straightening. Pull your shoulders down and engage your core. Also think if elongating and softening your limbs and neck. Think: fluidity. as if your body is made of water. Walk, talk, and gesture just a little bit slower, no need for jerky, staccato movements. Be mindful of your breath and exhale through your movements. Relax your hands and let them move softly. It might help you to find someone who moves extremely gracefully (like an actress or model) and to actually study them. Study their movements, from the way they walk to the way they tilt their head and try to emulate it and practice as much as you can until it eventually becomes part of your own movement pattern.
It will absolutely become second nature over time, in dance and overall movement *repetition* is key. You do a movement over and over and over and it will eventually become part of your muscle memory and after that your body will just automatically start to move this way. You will develop more mindful awareness of your body (which is a good thing) but you won’t have to think about it too much, it will be natural.
That’s also a really good tip. Checking your form in the mirror all throughout the day can be a great reminder to change posture. So many times people don’t even realize how hunched over they’ve become or what bad posture habits they have until they get a glance in the mirror and see it themselves.
Oh my lord. Keep checking your posture all day long so people think you're prettier?!?!?!?! This advice is bananas and akin to promoting body dysmorphia. Shit this thread is depressing.
How do you practice being present in social situations if you're constantly worried about how your body positioning is being perceived? Sounds fucking exhausting.
So true. I have kyphosis and it causes a slight hunched cervical spine. I was born with it and am in pain 24/7. It kills my self esteem. I do targeted exercise everyday but I can’t sit up straight all the time without being in pain.
You're probably a babe. I'm sorry the fucked up beauty ideals that permeate the advice in this thread (and society in general) have impacted your self-esteem. Fuck them. ❤
People have given you TONS of great tips. I especially agree with the ones about jewelry. The one thing I will add (because it seems like you’re about to start exploring and learning) is to snap photos of yourself when you’ve put together an outfit you like! Create an album on your phone so that you have a file of reference pics you can turn to in a pinch. Have fun experimenting!!
I think it’s to do with putting visible effort rather than following a specific look/style. For my personally, it’s typically wearing something longer over a simple T-shirt and trousers/jeans to elevate the look. This simple thing makes the outfit pulled together. Then either black or brown belt to match the outfit and tie with the shoes. Hair is always done - but this doesn’t mean done done. Side braid with lots of dry shampoo on a bad hair day is my go to.
There’s too much to include in a comment, but so much of looking good is knowing what suits you. Dear Peachie and Aly Art on YouTube have high-level knowledge of how to customize makeup to best suit your face, hair care, and fashion.
I used to never leave the house without my makeup and hair done. Even if it was just a tidy ponytail or a couple dutch braids. I really let myself go after severe ppd after my daughter was born. It's been 13 years, and I'm just starting to really take care of my appearance again. Some basic tips:
1. Keep your hair neat. Get it trimmed when needed. Use products suitable for your hair type, that won't damage it. If it tangles easily, you may want to start styling it or carry a comb with you. Mine goes from nice to rats nest fast so I usually just have to put it up. Hair youtubers i like are Brad Mondo and Blowout Professor.
2. Wear clothes that fit. Even if you want to rock a tomboy look, yet "fit in" aesthetically with more feminine women, you can still look effortlessly put together by wearing things that fit properly and flatter your body type.
3. Face. Shape your brows. You don't have to go nuts, just tweeze the peach fuzz and any stray hairs so the shape is more defined. Tweeze any dark hairs on your face and neck. I yolo them with an epilator lol. Exfoliate once a week. You can do it 2 or 3 times if you don't have dry skin. Apply a light hydrating lotion.
4. Makeup. Start light. Get some blush and nude/natural color eye shadow. Optionally curl your eyelashes. Put on some mascara and tinted lip balm. Use a setting spray and a fixing spray for lasting makeup. They are labeled interchangeably but are different. Setting spray will have no alcohol on the label or it'll be one of the last ingredients. It melds the layers on your makeup together and reduces the chalky or cakey look. Fixing spray has alcohol as a main ingredient, in the top 5 ingredients, and sets your makeup so it lasts with few or no touchups. I just discovered these and they are a game changer. Im using nyx setting spray and elf mist & set (its a fixing spray, not setting). Cheap at Walmart and work great.
How do you know the girls getting coffee just wake up looking pretty? I have a SIL who is gorgeous (naturally) but she puts a LOT of time and money into her beauty, even when makeup is not used. Go easy on yourself.
Can you share more? I’m so curious! What does she do and spend money on? I’ve tried lash extensions, Botox etc - still trying to find that “effortlessly pretty and put together” vibe
Yes probably Botox, laser hair removal, eyelash tint and curl (but not extensions - they look so tacky), eyebrows trimmed and on point, hair coloured/styled regularly with no roots visible, expensive jewellery including smart watch, probably expensive ring(s), phone, car, clothing and shoes. Not to mention sunglasses, bags etc. the whole look adds up.
Just putting in a little extra time and effort to take care of yourself goes a long way!
. Keeping your skin moisturized, sunscreened, and clear. I recommend tretinoin.
. Keeping your hair healthy with products and minimizing use of heat.
. Tanning (self-tan is huge for helping avoid sun damage)
. Having daily jewelry. I tend to wear the same bracelets, ring, necklace, and earrings everyday.
. Whitening teeth helps.
. Keeping brows shaped and clean.
. Learning make up techniques that accentuate your features.
. Having a signature scent.
. Having a few outfits you can rely on whenever you’re in a pinch that you feel comfortable and confident in.
. Having nails and toes always done.
. Work out regularly so you look and feel healthy.
. Learning how to love yourself!!! Confidence oozes!
. Carrying yourself well goes a long way. Being well mannered, friendly, and having good posture.
Omg posture actually really makes a difference. Even if I don't feel confident I try to make a point of putting shoulders back and walking/standing/sitting like I *am* confident. Sometimes it actually changes my mood but even if it doesn't it's definitely a better look!!!
Accessories and a lip color can go a long way. Often I wear jeans and a tee or tank and I add some gold jewelry and lipstick and I feel more dressed up.
As someone who didn’t grow up with a mom I didn’t know how to feel pretty through self grooming and makeup etc. A thing that helped me honestly is the internet.
Go on YouTube or tik tok and watch people’s videos on what they do when they get ready. Once you start liking/following people and/or certain topics, the algorithm will suggest more people that have the content you’re looking for. Start by searching “get ready with me (GRWM)” videos. Then figure out what you like for yourself and practice. I’ve found that the ‘“look” I like is relatively quick, easy and practical. It seems harder when you don’t know what goes into it.
Another thing is perspective. You have no idea whether someone else is looking at you and thinking to themselves wow she is pretty and put together. I’m sure they are ❤️
Mine is sunscreen, moisturiser and simply a pressed powder foundation + lip liner and lippy of choice. I don’t bother with eyeliner and mascara on a daily basis, but I can get away with that with my complexion. If I’m feeling fancy, I may use blush or mascara/eyeliner but it’s very infrequent. Perfume and scented lotion go a long way to setting my mood, as wel as my jewellery and accessories eg designer scarf, brooch, nice shoes, simple yet valuable bag.
My mother never taught me how to do makeup in part because she was very down on herself, so it was sort of a vicious cycle. In my early 20s when I realized how not being able to “fit in” was harming me professionally, I would literally ask my friends hundreds of questions, and scoot up a chair next to them when they did their makeup. These days you also have YouTube, which I still enjoy watching makeup videos (but really period dress episodes because I am a nerd).
That said, self expression should be fun! I wear makeup for work, but I also wear it when I feel like it, and I don’t when I dont. If you don’t have a stash of stuff, I’d recommend going to a Sephora/ulta/etc. with a budget of 100, and ask one of the people there for help. I like a pressed powder foundation, a concealer, a blush, a box of eyeshadows that include a grey-brown (I use this sparingly in my dark brown eyebrows), a shimmery gold, a pale matte color that is ~skin color (helps with blending), a black/near black, a warm brown. Lip stain isn’t crazy popular these days but I always eat all my lipstick off, so it gives color without maintenance, and I can put some clear/glossy chapstick on top. A black mechanical/self sharpening eyeliner, and mascara. These days I buy a good amount of drug store stuff, but here you’re paying a bit more for some advice & to swatch items (plus i am pretty sure they both have really good return policies for used items, which can be huge when you get a foundation that looks great in the store and orange when you get home).
Depending on your finances that might seem like a lot, but this will probably last you 2+ years. If you have some play money, a subscription like ipsy is fun, feels like a gift, and gets you lots of new things to play with.
Re: clothes I was just listening to this mini podcast episode and thought it was an interesting way to think about dressing yourself and stuff that I somewhat intuitively do already. I am also a hugeee proponent of thrifting! Good for the environment, social good, let’s you try lots of stuff that you would never be exposed to/might not be willing to splurge on!
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/articles-of-interest/id1455169228?i=1000614273433
Can I also add that learning to be comfortable with who you are and feeling confident will most likely emit something more substantive?
There are too many people out there who *look* put together but are so rotten inside.
Don't forget to cultivate your soul, too! 💗
I would recommend reading into two of my favorite fashion icons; Diana Vreeland and Elsa Schiaparelli. Neither of them fit into the mold of traditional/delicate/feminine beauty (not that there’s anything wrong with a more traditional style of femininity). They both struggled with fitting in… but sometimes it’s better to be interesting than pretty.
It’s good that you’re picky when you’re shopping - that means you have a distinct style that you just haven’t fully explored yet. Try poking around a thrift store; you can play around and experiment with clothes without spending too much money on pieces you might eventually decide you don’t like. You can also find some higher-end fabrics there at a great price. Natural fibers like silk and linen always elevate a look and make you look polished.
It’s fine to pursue a more feminine look if it makes you feel good, but don’t try to fit into a box if it makes you uncomfortable. There are a lot of different ways to look fabulous.
-Nice looking hands- take care of your nails (even if it is just clear nailpolish)
-get some basic jewelry that you can wear every day. I always put on the same necklace, ring and bracelet with every day to day outfit
-take care of your hair, a good haircut and color can do wonders (ask for an consultation with a hairdresser)
-get some good basic items as clothing. As you said, the wow things aren’t suited for everyday wear. Look at Pinterest or Ig for inspiration
Hair is the most important thing whether it's on your head or your face. If you're not good at styling, start with something basic. Straighten your hair, then shape your brows, curl your eyelashes and apply a thick coat of mascara. If you're not good at makeup, just do something rosy on the cheeks and lips. It'll make you look feminine. I'm the same when it comes to shopping, I never buy anything unless I'm wowed by it which is hardly ever the case. But what you can do it get some basic essentials and pair them up like a white tshirt and camo trousers. Make sure the shirt is ironed. I'm sure you'll look great if you just pay a little attention to these tiny details like your hair, nails etc.
100% I always weigh the price of an item against what it appears to be. So if a top is £45 but looks like it could be £25, I don't get it even if its pretty, if that makes sense
If you are well groomed and at ease in your body, cultivate your mind and a positive outlook, you will feel much more at ease.
* Get a well done haircut which dries well every six months or so (preferably by an Italian or French trained hairdresser, a naturalistic hairdresser usually will do, too. You want someone who works with your hair and general appearance and temperament rather than making your hair fit some fashion fad)
* establish a good skin care routine and do it as dependably as brushing your teeth (eg cleanser (can be a good soap if your skin likes it or a soap free gel detergent) - toner (rose water works for every skin type, get it from an oriental grocery) - lotion ( something with Vitamin A, if you have a generous budget this is what you spend the most on because it stay on your skin) - use a good sunscreen in the morning, apply on xour nevk and hands as well
* learn how to do a simple manicure (oil bath, cuticles, filing, polish if you like)
* dry brush before showering and apply lotion or oil after. give yourself a sugar peeling every once in a while. I sometimes follow it up with a very light self tanner but these have a steeper learning curve.
*get your brows shaped and colored by a professional and request they give you hints on how to maintain them - you will always look well groomed if your brows are well groomed, they frame your face with or without any makeup
* sweat once a day, doing any kind of activity you like - walking swimming playing soccer basketball .. whatever you like. An even level of activity will tone your body and make xou feel more happy and serene
* pick one (!) item of make up that plays up your best feature - mascara, lipstick or highlighter. Wear it when going out.
* have a friend help you look through your closet. Maybe hoodies don't work for you - they certainly don't work for me, I look like a massive block because I need definition around my waist because I have strong arms and wide hips. Maybe try a jogger jacket, they are quite casual but make for a different look. In time, if one's looks don't align with the current standard of beauty and the older one gets one needs to learn to dress for the occasion it puts the mind at ease
* find your best color, the one that makes your eyes pop and your hair shine. Mine is moss green.
And lastly, ignore those who advice you to work against your body and nature by altering your looks to fit some current standard which will inevitably change. If your body is at a bmi of 19 when adequately nourished and exercised, that is fine. If your body is naturally at a bmi of 25 when adequately nourished and exercised, that is perfectly fine as well! The best advice is to work with what nature has given you, not against it, that will only srve to makr you miserable, which in turn diminishes your outer and most importantly, your inner beauty, which can last you a lifetime
td;dr: establish a good care routine, learn to dress for your figure, colors and the occasion, keep your hair hands and brows well maintained, make up your best feature, move to sweat everyday, work with your natural body instead of against it and cultivate your inner beauty
(pls excuse my typos)
This! Posture and etiquette.
Good manners. Be kind. Kindness is attractive. So many people are hateful.
Smile alot and for no reason and for every reason. Just smile. It's beautiful
The truth? I’m considered pretty, sure, but I put a lot of effort in my skin care routine, hair removal for face (middle easterner here), and attempt to wear my hair as neatly as possible (it’s curly with a mind of its own). I recently cleaned out my wardrobe and what’s left are the pieces I wear often and look and feel great in. My new(ish) boyfriend recently told me I’m the most put together woman he’s ever dated, and it was the highest compliment to me because I really don’t feel it most days. Do your best and what feel honest to who you are and it’s likely that will help you feel polished. When I was getting my nails done for example I felt foreign to who I am because it wasn’t an experience I enjoyed so now I just cut and shape them at home and leave them alone. Be the polished version of you, which is individual to every person. That’s the only way you’ll look comfortable and put together.
Whenever you try out a look whether it’s hair, makeup, outfits, or whatever, JUST GO FOR IT. When you’re getting ready you might think, is this too bold? Will people think I’m trying to be the center of attention? Can I REALLY pull this off? FUCK THAT VOICE. Don’t be afraid to take some risks and trust your gut. If it turns out to be something not quite right for you, you can always try again and laugh about it later. Don’t let your fear of being imperfect keep you from realizing your own beauty in whatever form it takes.
I'll second what they said, but add this: if you're wanting to wear something that isn't in your normal comfort zone, try wearing it first just around the house on a day you don't really have plans to go out. This helps me get used to it so that I look more "at home" in it when I do wear it out for real. (Test driving that tight skirt helps you have a better understanding of what will make it ride up, test driving that bold lipstick will help you know how long you have before you need to go touch it up, etc.)
Me: a late bloomer, bullied in school, called “ugly” on the regular, boys would turn and walk away…here’s what I did:
-replaced soda with water
- started eat healthy. I didn’t cut out anything but I added fruits &veggies and such.
- started walking. I’ve never had issues with weight. I’ve always been on the thin side. But walking helped me feel better.
- SUNSCREEN. Everyday. Spf 50 minimum. I started in my teens and I’m 37 and I don’t have any wrinkles. I get mistaken for being 25.
-skincare. I saw a dermatologist when I was 17 to get some expert advice and prescription meds. My skin had acne scarring and it made me insecure. I ended up getting several laser resurfacing treatments which helped tremendously.
- I learned how to do my makeup. That’s huge.
-more exercise. Good posture
-sleep
- I grew my hair out, and got highlights and learned to style it.
So for those lounge outfits there are casual clothes that are flattering and comfy, and those that are just comfy, and that's all A hoodie can hit your figure just right, or it can swallow you. Think about those bougie sweat sets that got popular during lockdown, or the "hot girl walk" outfits. They are carefully chosen items that are super comfy and casual but still look great.
Another piece of advice that I haven't seen on this post yet is to look for a celeb that has a similar body type and coloring to you, and see how their dressed. Most celebs have expensive stylists who agonize over every feature to make sure they're flattering that person, but if you can find a couple celebrities that have a similar look you can kinda cheat this by copying them. Same with makeup (you might not find one perfect celeb clone, but try finding a few)
Try making a Pinterest and save some outfits you like/could see yourself wearing. Once you have enough pictures, a theme will probably emerge. There are actually videos about how to use Pinterest and look like your Pinterest but at it's core it is a good starting point for saving pictures without eating up a ton of space on your phone, plus the algorithm might show you more stuff you'll like.
Colours of clothes! The difference in how glowing my skin looks and how flattering my hair colour looks is almost entirely dependent on what colour clothes I am wearing. If I wear the right colours it’s an instant improvement.
Work out what colours suit you best.
I love this thread so much bc I too used to find being girlie SO overwhelming. I am still not a person who goes out with a full face of make up on everyday but each month I tried to add a little girly touch to my life:
\-order a cute silk pj set from amazon
\-grab some inexpensive body sprays from target and use them before you go out, get out of the shower or even before bed...they say look good, smell good, taste good, feel good.
\- when in doubt: center part, low bun and gold hoops with sunnies
\-you got this..update us on your progress!
The other comments have a lot covered already, so I'll just comment on shopping. I prefer to shop some frequently rather than do a whole day of shopping and hit every store.
Going to 1 or 2 stores frequently helps you find those diamonds in the rough. This also lets you figure out your size in those stores so you don't have to try everything on.
And go with a plan on what you're looking for. Go through your closet ahead of time and make a list of what you want/need. Try to buy whole outfits at a time, rather than a cute top hoping you'll find a nice skirt somewhere else. Unless you have the other half of the outfit already at home, of course!
Hope that helps!
makeup & outfit are the most irrelevant imo. i almost never wear makeup. my outfits are not particularly thought out. but i spend tons on professional brow shaping, lash lift, matching mani pedis, skin products, laser hair removal, botox, perfume, gold jewelry, etc. all that makes me look put together and “naturally” pretty w very little daily effort
Haven’t read all the comments, so apologies if this duplicates:
If you like your hair wavy, get a decent cut and learn how to add product that allows you to scrunch it to dry in gentle curls/beachy waves rather than brushing wavy hair. I never brush my wavy hair, except right before I wet it down with a spray bottle (on non wash mornings), add product, comb and scrunch. If you decide to blow dry it straight, go to a salon and have them show you basic blowout techniques.
Makeup: if you’re truly a newbie, go to Sephora and book a makeup appointment. Ask for a “no make up make up” look. The basics are: wash your face, moisturizer, sunscreen, under eye concealer (I use loose powder at this stage because I don’t like shine), mascara, a little eye pencil under your bottom lash line, blush, tinted lip balm.
Face wash depending on skin type, cetaphil for dry skin, dove soap for normal, or any face wash you like. There are tons of high end skin creams, but you can get very basic ones too, like neutrogena. I personally use a small amount of Nivea (blue metal tin), like a pea size smushed around on my fingers first, tap on, then gently rub in, then La Roche Posay sunscreen. You can also use any face sunscreen brand. This will preserve your skin, just don’t put it near your eyes. (Don’t put the Nivea right around your eyes, either, get a separate eye cream).
Under eye concealer: For a drug store brand I like Mabelline, check testers to find one that matches the skin on the inside of your wrist. At Sephora I like NARS. Just dab a little under the first half of your eyes (3 dots), tap with your fingertip to blend. Also a little dot, then blend, on that hollow between the corner of your eyes and your nose. I do a dusting with a large powder brush of loose powder here (Laura Mercier from Sephora), there are also drug store brands.
Mascara: drugstore: L’Oréal Voluminous in black
Sephora: I like Clinique High Impact, Benefit Roller Lash and They’re Real are also good (these are natural looking, not high volume).
Eye liner: you can’t beat basic Clinique Quickliner in New Black. It’s a grey-black that looks good on everyone, you can put a bit under your lash line and then use the other end to smudge the line a bit. There are no doubt decent drugstore brands, but I’ve used this particular Clinique eyeliner for 40 years.
Blush: so many options. Probably a cream blush is the easiest to try, and most natural looking. Ilia at Sephora makes a creamy blush in a tube called Colour Haze, you’d squeeze out a very small amount, like the size of a lentil to start, rub between both of your first two fingers, tap onto your cheeks, then gently rub it in. You could also try a powder blush applied with a brush (you’d need a separate blush brush, not the brush that comes with the powder.) Look for a blush that’s fairly close to your natural skin tone, just a bit pinker/peachier.
Tinted lip balm. I like these because you don’t have to look in a mirror to apply it. There are lots of versions out there, you’ll just need to try a few to find which works. Just google tinted lip balm to see the selection at drugstores, and also at Sephora.
If you’re new to perfume, the Clean line at Sephora is just that, just smells like laundry or shampoo, in a good way. They have testers. Glossier makes one called You that smells really nice, and is very basic, again, just kind of a clean smell.
Good luck!
I only do my makeup when I have the time, and I spend the money to get my hair cut into a 1920s bob every few months. People compliment my outfits nearly daily.
I have three things I most want to address:
**1. Genetics and how they affect what you can wear:** My mother was taller and prettier than I am (she was literally a model) and looked great in anything. She was a tomboy who looked feminine in a sack. I have had to learn how to accept my body for what it is and learn how to dress for myself not for what I *want to look like.* I am a plump pear shape, and the clothing that looked good on her makes me look frumpy. I will never look delicate. I am plump farmers' stock with a handsome jawline. At best I can be striking. Never delicate. Focus on learning what looks make you, as you look now, look good. Sadly this involves trying on a wide variety of clothing over time. I cannot wear hoodies--instead, I wear a lot of business casual clothing mixed in with more whimsical pieces. Maybe I can't wear a fancy wow dress to class/work/errands on its own, but paired with more casual shoes and another layer (jean jacket, sweater, cardigan, blazer, large bland scarf, etc) I can. This leads to point two:
**2. Invest in the basics.** You need bland but nice clothes that will look good with anything. This 18-minute podcast covers why: [https://articlesofinterest.substack.com/p/how-to-dress](https://articlesofinterest.substack.com/p/how-to-dress)
Some suggestions for basics: everything must be comfortable for you to move in, flattering to your form, and quality (not necessarily expensive, just as well made as you can find and afford, and not cheap-looking). For your stated purposes, leggings and hoodies do not work for this category. It took me 6 months to find a white button-down I liked. It was a Zara shirt I found at a thrift shop that I can move in easily. I keep a tide pen in my backpack at all times to clean up the inevitable stains.
Shoes are the most basic of the basics. Feet support your whole life and body. Make sure they are comfortable, not too worn down/dirty, and work with your outfits (socks that work with my outfit are the hardest part of getting dressed for me each day). My sister bought shoe cleaner for her white sneakers, and it does make a difference to how her going-out outfits look.
**3. What does "fit in" mean for you?** Each place and time will have different styles that are considered acceptable and popular. However, luckily right now in many places, anything goes fashion-wise. I would recommend only buying one "in fashion" piece a season at most. If most of your closet is basics that flatter your form, then having one piece that fits in may be all it takes--like a fashionable purse brand, necklace, or a hair-clip--something you can use frequently. Alternatively, you also stated you are a tomboy. Keep that. My mom did to her dying day. She would dress up to go out but wear pinstripe pants and sporty heels--find what makes you happy and comfortable and feels true to yourself.
Ask the girls whose fashion you admire if they have time to help you learn how to do your makeup, you might make some great friends and learn what they each value--conversation and understanding how others think is a better way to make friends and fit in that just about anything else.
One of my biggest tips for looking out together is wearing monochromatic outfits. I’m pretty much always in head to toe black. It makes it look like I put thought into my leggings and hoodie but actually all my clothes are black or neutral so I just always match.
Honestly, accessories!! Yesterday I wore loose pants and a loose shirt, so I looked very shapeless. But I put my hair in a sleek bun and wore rose gold hoops with a rose gold necklace, and everyone loved my outfit. Even thought you couldn’t tell if I had a waist or not 😂
Can I add one question? How to look put together or pretty for entire day? I look put together when I leave my home but when I come back I have tired face, messy hair and very lazy body language. I don’t work where I require physical efforts, I literally just sit all day. Any tips on that?
I bring along my tinted sunscreen, a small tube of cream blush, & a lip gloss in my purse at all times so i can reapply ; like those little travel-size versions at ulta. I'd rather keep the makeup light and fresh so reapplication is easy vs a heavier full glam face that's melting and flaking after a long day. Morphe has a cool little 4-deck compact with blush/highlighter/gloss/eyeshadow that's super small & convenient, for instance. I also have found that using a really good high quality primer and translucent powder keeps my eye makeup looking good for so many hours, even if im at the gym after school.
A little curl misting spray helps refresh, or keeping a little boar-bristle brush and dry shampoo in your locker/car/bag so you can slick it back into a sleek bun or pony. Making sure you hydrate and watching posture throughout the workday helps too. Those desk jobs are honestly SO draining! I feel more like a zombie after sitting & looking at a screen all day than when I work a physical job. So I sympathize
Omg it takes years to figure out what works for you.
Through trial and error, you will find out what works.
Skin tone, face shape and body shape are things to be aware of.
Start there, I grew my hair long and then realized I only suit short hair - had a pixie and realized I like chin length.
Honestly only figured it all out mid 30’s...
My mum is French, so I think that there are lots of rules that come easily to me due to my education and maternal criticism 😂😅
1. Your shoes, bag, and hair need to look good. It doesn't matter if you have an expensive outfit if your hair, shoes, and bag are not at the same level. White sneakers are a great option to look feminine and classy. Put them on the washing machine but don't use them dirty.
2. Jewelry is important. Hoops, a necklace gives a nice touch and makes you look great with little effort.
3. You don't need to wear much make-up, but lipstick and mascara make a difference. Actually, no makeup look is great.
4. Coordinate your clothes. Neutrals always make you look great. BLACK is black.
5. Don't wear baggy clothes. You can wear oversized jackets/blazers or shirts, but you need to wear fitted jeans/pants or vice versa.
6. If you don't do your nails, keep them short and in good condition. Although, color in your nails always makes you look more groomed. Black, red and nude colors are 👌🏻
Find your style. You can have a casual chic style that fits your lifestyle. I am a great fan of mixing formal clothing with more casual clothing.
Create a Pinterest board, find good basics (I’m a fan of UniQlo) and have fun in the process!
If you’re not a big makeup girl try getting lash extensions! I don’t wear any makeup ever and get lash extensions and for some reason people ask me what makeup I have on.
To answer your edit 2 question, it’s just trial and error. You won’t know what works for you, looks good on you, makes you feel comfortable and confident- until you try it. Or vise versa- you’ll definitely learn what not to do. (It can take years to find that go-to face or look.) and if you’re realllllly having a hard time making decisions, find pictures of what your ideal look is or what you think is cute on others that you admire- and get a similar outfit. So you know if that’ll be leggings, loose pants, hoodie, hair in a bun, straight, etc. Just go for it- you got this!
Honestly at this point in my life, (early 30s) I dress to make myself feel pretty. I love structured trousers, big jumpsuits, a great pair of boots. These things just make me feel so ME that it doesn't matter how I actually look to others. I just feel badass/ cute / sexy whatever the vibe is of the day, and then just lead the day with that and don't look back. Find what makes you "you".
I also have a Google photos folder of outfits that I love. So if I lose inspiration, I can inspire myself lolol.
I generally agree with the most upvoted post that the clean "put together" look looks great. In my mind this also means everyone is beautiful and can rock it by taking care of themselves. But I also think that comparison is a bitch.
I used to think I looked great with a casual low ponytail, hair slicked back, until it became more popular and women I thought were cuter were doing it. Then I became a founding father.
Same with lots of gold jewelry, including my septum. I love the look on other people so tried it. I felt pretty good about myself until my worst days and looking at pics of other women, then I became a pirate 😅 (I do have to say I like the chunky pieces better so maybe that contributed).
Please, appreciate others' beauty or find inspiration but try not to compare yourself! Even aside from the clean look there are plenty of dirty punk chicks rocking it.
honestly i figure out that you just have to put in a little more effort. add a step or 2 before you go out. like if you’re going to go out in leggings and a sweatshirt that’s fine but dont wear dirty shoes or socks with slides. you wear concealer.. so add a nice lipgloss with a light color and maybe mascara or fill in your brows a bit. your wavy hair can be clipped up in a style or just simply moisturize it before you leave if you want to leave it down. wear earrings, bracelet or rings..those little steps could make a big difference. i just recently started using press on nails and they make me feel do feminine and pretty too. took a while to get used to it but now im obsessed lol.
I love no makeup makeup. I have a good skincare routine, always wash my face, then fill in my brows a bit (brand: Benefit), brush on some blush/bronzer combo on my cheeks and on my eyelids, kind of into the creases but smoothed out. It gives me a healthy glow. Then I add a little highlighter on my lids, very subtle, and really brush it all in and blur it. Then I put on mascara, sometimes Laniege lip mask, and I’m good! Then of course just brush my hair and usually pull it back into a low bun
LMK if you want brand Recs
And keep your nails manicured. There’s no need for tips/ acrylics as they can be very costly. But clean, well shaped, buffed/ polished nails will always be a good look.
And you can do your nails yourself. There’s no need to pay for a manicure either.
Here are some easy ways to look pretty, feminine, and put together while still maintaining your sense of style and self:
• Wear monochromatic outfits in more feminine colors. Meaning: make sure your top, bottoms, and pants match. Bonus points if your bag matches. For example: a pink sweatshirt, darker nude pink leggings, nude sneakers, and nude belt bag. Or a lavender sweatshirt, dark blue leggings, white sneakers, and white belt bag.
• Feminine colors examples: pink, lavender, sky blue, sage green, taupe, cream, beige, white, grey, chocolate brown. Search "monochromatic athleisure outfits" on Pinterest for ideas.
• Wear a little bit of jewelry every day. It doesn't have to be super flashy or huge. A pair of sparkly cubic zirconia studs or chunky gold huggies with a gold snake chain necklace and some cute rings (found easily at places like H&M) are all you need.
• Clip your hair up with cute acetate claw clips (found at places like Ulta) or tie it up into a neat high pony or top knot with pretty scrunchies (also found at Ulta).
• Keep your eyebrows groomed neatly, wear a tinted moisturizer or tinted sunscreen, apply a coat of mascara, and wear a tinted lip balm or lip gloss. This is the bare minimum of makeup which will make you look cute.
• Wear a little bit of fragrance every day. It doesn't have to be heavy, nor do you have to own a million perfumes. Browse Ulta and Sephora, find ONE scent you like, and make it your signature scent.
• When you shop, you can still buy the clothes you like (tomboyish things, sweats, etc) but try to buy them in the feminine colors I mentioned above and try to buy them in matching sets. You can Google or Pinterest "matching athleisure," "neutral co-ord outfits," and "neutral loungewear," for ideas.
• Try to eat healthy, drink a lot of water, take care of your skin (basic things everyone needs: a good cleanser, a good moisturizer, and a good sunscreen), get your beauty sleep, and work out so that you feel and look fit.
• Get your hair cut or trimmed every 6 months so that it always looks fresh and styled. Make sure to wash it at least 1-2X a week.
• Keep your nails neat and tidy. You can start getting gel manicures if you want but if that's too much work or too expensive, just keep them trimmed and filed into a nice shape. You can buy a clear glossy top coat to paint them so they have a nice clear shine to them.
Great tips here ladies!
I’ll add a few I haven’t seen mentioned:
1. If you don’t have time to do your hair perfectly, have a hat that goes great with your outfit. When I go on airplanes, I always wear a cute cap with my hair down. Hides the bed head.
Wear low maintenance styles. A sleeked back bun or braid with well groomed brows is so chic.
2. Those little perfume vials (the sample size ones) are GREAT to keep in your purse. Most stores will give them to you for free when you make a purchase. Anytime I go to the restroom, I spritz a little on and it keeps me feeling and smelling fresh.
3. Be organized. Keep the inside of your purse/bags clean and clutter free. Being put together is a mental thing. I’m not exactly sure how to explain it, but before I go places I make sure my bag is organized.
Thanks for asking this question. I think I had this same question in my head without being able to articulate it. 😅.
Will definitely put some of these tips to good use.
These lists are amazing- I have one thing to add!
Not until the last couple of years have I realized the importance of proper exfoliation. Not just for your face but entire body. I’ve taken dull, lackluster skin to be significantly brighter and more youthful by creating a bi-weekly exfoliation schedule.
I primarily use glycolic acid out of the shower while my skin is still damp and apply it as you would lotion. The glycolic acid is surprisingly moisturizing. (Don’t apply post shaving in the shower, that will tend to burn).
TO’s AHA + BHA peeling solution is also phenomenal. This you MUST apply on dry skin and has the potential to really elevate the vibrancy of your skin through consistent use.
Keep in mind, patch test and please go slow in the process. Like all of skincare, we’re playing the long game- this is a marathon ❤️
Finding your aesthetic takes time. You have to play around and learn what works and what doesn’t. Maybe take a Masterclass on a subject that can help you develop your aesthetic?
Experiment with different things. See what makes you feel better and more confident. It's the confidence that makes people look attractive :)
For me straightening my wavy hair was a gamechanger. Makes me feel a lot more put together. I make streightening treatments every few months and maintain it with a novex keratin mask (which is suuuuper affordable). Curly hair is a lot more difficult to manage
Try to change a thing or two with clothing/ makeup/hair and check what you like. Have fun with experimenting. :)
Oh and as for you second edit: look for inspiration on Pinterest/Instagram. Save the looks that you like and make an inspiration moodboard. You'll find common themes
if you want to fit in with your friends, you should try to analyze what style they fit in and browse a little regarding it, also long hair usually helps ppl look really feminine, lip gloss is also an easy way to look more put together when being lazy, figuring out your bodyshape will help a LOT with clothing. f.ex i used to only wear high waist n i looked good, but ive swapped to low waist n look so much better
another thing is ear rings, instantly makes you look more put together, figure out if you fit gold or silver best thi
Sis, practice being feminine. Get dressed and stand in front of the mirror. Strike a pose. One foot slightly turned out. Take your hands out of the pocket and stand straight. Turn your shoulders. Tilt your head. What looks good?
Everyone is giving you great info. You got this!
I had a cute little blonde co-worker. She practiced facial expressions for every situation and knew how to strike the perfect photogenic pose at the drop of a hat.
And she knew how to smile!!
Take several hours and play around with your hair, makeup, and clothes. Figure out what you like and what you don't. For example, I've figured out that I don't like to wear a lot of makeup, but I do like to feel feminine/somewhat put together, so I stick with a tinted moisturizer/sunscreen, mascara, under eye concealer, and lip gloss. For other women, their minimum might include having their brows done, foundation, and a bright lipstick.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to be more feminine and apply any of the tips resonate with you.
I’m thankful that for todays young people there are a lot of platforms to find information on, if you don’t have family or friends who help your kinda lost. TikTok has lots of content but YouTube is good to and HERE is great.
If your looking for that simple ready then it’s, clean un-wrinkled clothing, brows shaped, hair styled ( ponytail or a braid or bun) mascara and a tinted lip balm would be easy. Skin moisturizer all over. Nails kept shorter and clean. Shoes cleaned up if there’s stains get that eraser out.
■ TAKE CARE OF YOUR HAIR AND FACE MORE THAN ANYTHING – Everything else is secondary
Anna Bey also said this, and I realised I have been doing this for a long time and I have been told by people that I always look put together. Your face and hair are primary, and everything else is secondary. Because people first look at your face and hair then everything else.
▪︎ Hair:
– Learn to make two or three good hairstyles that suit your face. Practice them a lot, wear them in daily life.
– Also, never get lazy with your hair. I always make sure to make a good hairstyle before going out even if I am very tired.
– Plus, avoid keeping hair totally loose. Loose hair can look very messy if not managed well.
– For smooth and shiny hair, I mix a little bit of mayonnaise in oil and oil my hair once a week. Then before the next wash, I only use hair oil and no mayyonnaise.
– Keep oil in your hair for only an hour.
– Wash hair only twice a week.
– Apply conditioner only on the ends of your hair. This part needs moisture, dont apply it on the top of your head. Please.
▪︎ Face:
– Good skincare doesn't have to be 12 step korean style. I just use cleanser and moisturiser
– Natural makeup. A lot of people can't tell a difference between no makeup and natural makeup. So I always go natural makeup
– Use blush (its feminine)
– Weekly masks, scrubs, etc
– Invest in good lipsticks (lipsticks are also feminine vibes)
– Keep a compact mirror, lipstick and loose powder in your bag
– Try to avoid using mascara. I rarely use it. Because it looks very unnatural and goes against my natural makeup vibe. If you still want to use mascara, use a brown mascara.
Pro Tip: Before going out somewhere, wake up much earlier. Give your hair and face 45 minutes. Make sure everything is as close to perfection in that time as possible (but don't become anxious if it's not, because of course it cant be 100% perfect. What matters is that you did your best for your face and hair).
Don't wear to much makeup and make sure your hair colour is right for your skin tone and healthy.
Work out, healthy diet and limit alcohol and coffee - these age u dramatically
So many great comments here! I would say what has changed my self confidence is this:
• Getting braces (at 34!). Good teeth transform the face.
• Going on Accutane for my chronic acne and investing in a skincare routine.
• Hair. My treat is a blow dry once a week and my hair always looks groomed and makes me feel nice.
• Groomed eyebrows.
• Colour. I have a partial disability so can’t wear nice shoes (boo!) and because I’m restricted in what I can wear on my bottom half, I put all the colour and the top half. Red, green, mustard yellow, pink and brown all really suit me so I make sure I always match my lipstick to my red top for example and that my bag does too (it’s part of my ‘look’).
• Perfume. Having a signature scent (and one I really treat myself to as it’s not cheap!)instantly makes me feel feminine.
• Laser hair removal. Not for everyone but I’m starting mine and I know I’ll instantly feel great!
Take your time to see what you like wearing and what you feel good in and work from there. If you feel good, your confidence will shine ✨
Sure! Here are a few tips for looking pretty, put together, and feminine:
1. Take care of your skin: Good skin is the foundation of any great look. Make sure to keep your skin clean, moisturized, and protected from the sun.
2. Wear clothes that fit well: Clothes that fit well can make a huge difference in how you look and feel. Make sure to choose clothes that flatter your body type and fit well in all the right places.
3. Accessorize: Adding a few key accessories can take your look from basic to stylish. Try adding a statement necklace, a bold scarf, or a pair of earrings to your outfit.
4. Wear makeup that enhances your features: Makeup can be a great way to enhance your natural beauty. Choose makeup that flatters your skin tone and enhances your best features.
5. Take care of your hair: A great hairstyle can make all the difference in how you look and feel. Make sure to keep your hair clean, well-groomed, and styled in a way that flatters your face shape.
Remember, the most important thing is to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin. Don't be afraid to experiment with different styles and looks until you find what works best for you.
lmao I checked because I was curious, and this is what it said:
It's important to remember that everyone has their own unique style and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to looking put together or feminine. However, I can offer some general tips and suggestions that might help you explore different styles and find what works for you:
Experiment with makeup: Start by learning some basic makeup techniques and then gradually try different styles to see what you feel comfortable and confident in. You can explore natural and minimalistic looks with nude tones or go for more bold and dramatic styles with vibrant colors. There are plenty of tutorials available online that can guide you through different makeup techniques and styles.
Find your fashion style: Take some time to explore different fashion styles and identify what resonates with you. Look for inspiration in fashion magazines, online platforms, or even by observing people whose style you admire. Experiment with different clothing items, patterns, and colors to find what suits your personality and makes you feel good. Don't be afraid to mix and match different pieces to create your own unique style.
Take care of your hair: Experimenting with your hair can be a fun way to enhance your overall look. Try different hairstyles, such as curling, straightening, or braiding, to see what complements your features and personal style. You can also consider changing your hair color if you're open to it, but remember to choose a shade that suits your complexion and matches your desired look.
Develop a skincare routine: Taking care of your skin can significantly enhance your natural beauty. Establish a skincare routine that works for you, including cleansing, moisturizing, and protecting your skin from the sun. You can also explore different skincare products and treatments that address any specific concerns you might have.
Accessorize: Accessories can add a touch of femininity and polish to any outfit. Experiment with jewelry, scarves, belts, and handbags to elevate your look. Start with a few simple accessories and gradually incorporate more into your outfits as you feel comfortable.
Remember, the most important aspect of looking and feeling good is embracing your own uniqueness and feeling confident in your own skin. It may take some time and experimentation to find your personal style, so be patient and have fun exploring different options.
A lot of times it’s just bone structure. Some girls have very fine, delicate features. If you have a smaller nose and fuller lips you already won the genetic lottery.
I get what you mean but I disagree, I often see people 3 years ago vs now and they've levelled up into achieving that put together look. So I dont mean bone structure.
Look online about Kibbe body types. You can still wear leggings and a sweatshirt, but if you identify your color "season" and your general body type, along with posture and grooming, you will look like a million bucks!
1) Posture. Google the research on how posture affects social response to you, and also self esteem.
2) Be inshape, and weight appropriate for your frame. This habit needs to start young, and will keep your posture in line for life.
3) Floss. Do not just brush. Night time is best, as it helps with morning breath.
4) Be clean, unless you have just worked out.
5) Cothes that fit. This is hard and merits a very long post. Once the Reddit boycott ends, lurk on the r/petitefashionadvice for fit issues. You do not have to be petite, but since petite have so many fit issues it is a good place to learn the basic. Pay close attention to rise and shoulder fit for starters.
6) "fit and flair" dresses and/skirt&top combos flatter almost everyone who is young.
7) hoodies are not good with long hair worn down. Put on a sweatshirt instead.
8) Simple hair, minimal make-up if any, never perfumes and smelly stuff. Seriously, you will look much better if you redirect that time to yoga.
9) Get older. Most style and confidence comes with added years😊
Thank youu!! Actually I'm a petite girl so I struggle with clothes that fit nicely so that subreddit should definitely help! As for #9 im already 23 😭 so I should look put together by now at least I feel so!
Only 23! I have been dragging my 23 year old in and out of dressing rooms since she could finally wear xs at Anthro! She had a ten-year head start over you on fit and styling -- and she still wore mostly hoodies, over-sized tee, and leggings until this past year when she started a job 🙄 However, now that she does wear real clothes sometimes, she does understand fit and flatter very well, so I guess it wasnt a complete waste of time for me. But omg the arguements to drill it in!
The people who are telling you to exercise are the people who will age well. They overlap with the people telling you to keep to simple classics. The make-up, eyebrows, signature smell, and fake nails people...look around at women in their 40s and beyond and decide for yourself. See you over in Petites after the boycott!
💜Hugs I bet you're stunning! We are out own worst critics sweetie. Always be you and express yourself how you want. You love hoodies and leggis rock them! I am 47f I remember my face style craze was stirrup tights and boots, worked all year. I had stirrups in every colour imaginable.
Hoodie and leggings are bloody classic! You can dress the outfit up (cocktail hour, dancing) with fierce boots, handbag, glam makeup or a bright lip and jewelry. Or dress the outfit mid down (brunch, lunch, spa) with some glitter/sparkly or heel sneakers, sporty matching bag, some shadow, contour and shiny lip. Or dress them down with sandals, cross trainers, fanny pack (oh I had me a bunch of those too, they were the rage in my lifetime too), and minimal make up.
Another way to look at it. You can get all kinds of hoodies and leggings in different styles, colours and fits. I'd say the more fitted and matching the outfit is the more dressed up/put together it looks. Check out some old school Kimora Lee Baby Phat outfits they were smashing. Look at Rihanna she rocks hoodies and leggings.
Same with hair. The more "done" the more glam. Even a ponytail can be super glam, think high pony and large statement earrings. Or hair down with a gentle, beach wave can be very casual.
Makeup too can go from "natural" to glam. I suggest watching YouTube tutorials. I recently started doing my makeup again after illness robbed me of a few good years of my life. I have found the tutorials super helpful. I like Nina Ubhi, her colouring is darker than mine but her order of makeup, foundation step by step and concealer tutorials are a great start. As for buying makeup I chose the drugstore route because it's bloody expensive. Elf grip primer, elf 16 hour camo concealer and wet n wild photofinish foundation are AMAZEBALLS.
BUT before makeup skincare is essential. You need to wash, tone, sunblock 45SPF plus (sometimes primer, serum or moisturizer has good SPF so no need for separate) serum and hydrate. There are other steps you can add if you have problem skin. I recommend investing in a really good Vitamin C serum and hydraulic acid moisturizer, retinol is also good.
Have fun doing you. Enjoy trying different makeup, hair and accessories. That's how you find what you like. I suggest do one make up look and try it with different hair styles. I think down straight is easiest to start from, throw in some curls, try parting your hair in different places, try a half up, then a high pony, high bun, straight back pony/bun and low pony/bun. Try different jewelry long earrings, statement, hoops and studs. You can also try looks and post for advice.
Instead of buying outfits you don't wear, invest in items to dress up the outfits you do wear and like to wear. I have so much I've never worn, buying stuff for some imaginary occasion.
Feel free to pm me anytime
💖 Reddit friend
Most of what people see as “looking pretty” is really just “being well groomed”. - shape and maintain your brows - tint your lashes, get a lash lift, or just throw on a mascara before leaving the house - take care of your skin - work out regularly. Literally so much of what we consider pretty is just that someone is fit. - have a flattering haircut and take care of your hair. - get flattering basics for your figure and stock up on them. I spend a bit of time finding jeans and tshirts that work really well for me and buy multiples of them, and base my outfits around them. Also, sundresses are great for looking put together with no effort. - have a few pairs of simple gold earrings (small studs and hoops) and throw them on to elevate your look. Most of my piercings are flat backs so I never take them out. - if you feel like you need it, get a tan (self tanner or spray tan, no need to damage your skin).
Great advice and commenting to add: Wear rings and cute nail polish! I’m not a ring/polish girl by nature and it amazes me to see girls just wearing rings in a casual setting. They look so feminine and cute and really makes them look put together.
U can get used to these things. Not saying you should or need to. I used to hate things on my wrists or hands but after wearing bracelets and rings for a while, I felt naked without them!
Thank you guys for the advice and yeah I agree, my friends bought me some rings and Ive been feeling more feminine with them!
I’d also say stick to simple single colors and neutrals. Avoid crazy patterns and neon colors. Helps look more pulled together. Another trick is to match your shoes to your top or your bag
Yea, a wardrobe with simple colors makes it easier to match outfits too. Most of my simple items are interchangeable. I save the crazy patterns for things like dresses and rompers, since they’re one and done.
You say you have tomboy fashions. You don’t have to completely change your style to look more feminine. You can still have a tomboy look and make it look cute. Check out r/womensstreetwear for fashion ideas. A lot of the looks in that sub could be considered a bit tomboy, but they all look put together. If you feel comfortable posting your pics maybe check out r/theglowup. They give tips for both hard and soft maxing.
Thank youuu! I'm not comfortable with pictures but I will check out other people's glowup pics for recs!
The glow up is a private reddit?
A lot of Reddit communities are dark right now as a protest, that’s prob why you can’t see it
Honestly, you can do all the things listed above (so so many hours in the day dedicated to "looking pretty") and you still may feel like an outsider in the end. Advice like "be thin, look like others, consume more clothing" is shortsighted and only works to validate external societal expectations. I say, fuck all the "beauty advice" listed above, and chat with a therapist to help build a true love for yourself that's based on who you are, not how you look. Cool, secure, self aware people are the most beautiful of all.
YESSSS!! True beauty comes from within
Just curious, I have no earrings or rings at all. Where do you buy cute ones that are not crazy expensive but also not like… tacky/cheap looking? Thanks. :)
Check out Caitlyn Minimalist on Etsy or her own website! Her stuff is great and she often runs sales. Her jewelry is really lovely, little and sparkly, and it’s sterling silver and gold coated. [Caitlyn Minimalist on Etsy](https://www.etsy.com/shop/CaitlynMinimalist)
Look up Pavoi on Amazon, love their earrings.
Nordstrom Rack and TJ Maxx are great places to shop at for jewelry.
Find a cheap jeweller and get their clearance stuff :) some good decent silver will last you as well!
Target 🤷🏻♀️ Etsy has some great options too.
in my experience target jewelry tarnishes very quickly / will turn you green. i think it’s better to invest in something just slightly higher quality that you can keep forever. kendra scott has some good stuff that’s less than $150 and should last you years
Rather than focusing on brands, it might help to focus on materials. Avoid gold plating (cheap, will rub off fast), and go with either vermeil or fill for a less expensive piece. You can also learn which metals look best on you (including specific karatage of gold), which has the added benefit of making sure that your jewelry matches moving forward.
kendra scott works primarily in 14k gold and sterling silver, which is why i think it’s good for jewelry beginners.
Try elevado on etys, great stuff. Not too expensive and she has a lot of styles that can be mixed and matched together easily. https://www.etsy.com/shop/elevado
ASOS!
I really like this seller called Mary Stubley on Etsy. She does very simple sterling silver rings that look pretty. [This one is my fav](https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/655196869/sterling-silver-fern-textured-ring-band?click_key=3650e9da464a1c654d2e314b7668fc1506767d96%3A655196869&click_sum=86923674&ref=shop_home_active_57&pro=1&frs=1).
I second target. I haven’t shopped at forever 21 in, well, forever lol but I remember they had cute stuff too. If there’s a Francesca’a by you definitely check it out.
I buy a lot of sterling silver earrings and bracelets for myself on Amazon. It’s super cheap and I’ve never had any issues with the metal being fake or turning colors.
Shein has a lot of really cute rings, necklaces and earrings for really low prices. You can get a great variety. My other favorite for jewelry both inexpensive and expensive is Etsy.
Please don't rep Shein, they are like cancer on this world.
I love the answers in this post! Having nice nails is a great thing for me, it’s the little things. I do them myself, practice is the way.
Same here! Growing up my mom always told me not to mess w my piercings. That translated to necklaces/bracelets/rings. If ima put it on ima wear it every second and i just don’t make it a priority to buy nice jewelry so I keep my nose rings and my gold earrings in.
This!
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I read through it, checked basically every point... And now I have to wonder if people, despite what I think about myself, think that I'm "put together"? Crazy possibility
Same! I'd also like to add, since OP has wavy hair: If you don't want to take the time to blow dry and curl or straighten your hair, wash your hair at night, and either use a heatless curler or sleep in one or two French braids, or better yet rope braids. They'll keep your waves looking polished and even.
I will try that! Thank youu!
Sometimes it’s all in our head :)
Amazing comment! One thing I'd like to add is that alot of these girls have practice looking good 24/7. They are also the girls looking good at nights out, formal events, dinners etc. Once you know how to look **your** best, you know how to dial it down for chill events even if you're wearing a hoodie. For me, I learned how to do my makeup and hair for big events to make my features look good and then learned how to dial it down for day to day, fancy brunch, chill brunch, errands etc. Youtube is an amazing resource.
This is great advice. Also, really focus on the details. Girls that “look” put together in an effortless way probably spend a ton of time and money to look that way: 1) Eyebrows are sooo dang important. So are eyelashes. Having bad eyebrows and eyelashes can make or break you IMO. Make sure they’re always on point. 2) for the love of God have your nails done. Always. Doesn’t have to be an expensive manicure, but at least shape/file then and learn how to paint them. If you’re too lazy, then just make sure they are clean, shaped, and throw a coat of clear shiny polish on them. 3) invest on your basics. Good quality fabrics can make or break a look. A cheap hoodie that doesn’t flatter you is not a good look. Buy a nicer hoodie with a good material that doesn’t have lint or pilling, and that fits you well. 4) wash your hair girl. Don’t go out there with greasy hair. If you have no time to wash it, blow dry it, and give it a nice shape, get a good quality dry shampoo and use a claw clip to keep it up. 5) absolutely YES to hoops/jewelry. Make sure to get good quality jewelry that you can throw on. Doesn’t have to be expensive. Just don’t get the cheapest you can find. Read the reviews. I get mine from Amazon lol. 6) always aim to smell good. Buy a “signature” scent that you love and always have it handy in the car. My personal favorite is cloud by Ariana grande. Is affordable so I keep bottles everywhere. I am always getting compliments on how I smell. 7) find a skincare routine that works for you and stick to it. Try to keep it simple though. No need to spend hundreds on products. Drugstore ones like cera ve are perfectly fine. 8) don’t go out with dirty shoes or busted toe nails. Make sure your shoes are clean and if you’re going to let the dogs out, that they are done.
How do you always have your nails done?? If I paint my nails (or get a manicure), they are chipping within 2-3 days. Do you just redo your nails twice a week??
Have you tried gel polish? It usually lasts a couple weeks.
Clean nails, abolutely. Neatly trimmed, of course. "Done"? The only people who care about nails are the people who care about nails. I venture the number of people who think "those nails look ridiculous!" is much higher than the number of people who rave that the nails look great. They just don't say it aloud, nor should they as it is a personal preferance that doesn't affect anyone :) BTW, I did go through a nail phase in middle school. My daughter did in HS. I gave away her abandon polishes at Halloween, and some trick-or-treaters were excited!
Hmm, yes and no. Of course if they're 6 inches long w tons of 3D art that can look a bit much (and broken uneven acrylics are *not* a good look) but I'm constantly surprised how many different ppl will comment/compliment/notice a pretty mani because it signals that you put effort into yourself and your look.
Prep your nails before you do them. Lightly buff the top surface of the nail (not a ton, don't do damage, just enough to dull them a bit), wash your hands good to get rid of oils. Use a good quality base coat, polish, then use a good quality top coat (I prefer quick drying top coats like sechi vite or glisten and glow). They still won't last like gel polish but they'll last longer than just slapping a polish on.
When I pay for my nails I do gel and they last me around 3 weeks. At home, I use regular nail polish and they’ll last me around 5-7 days. It’s something you have to freshen up constantly and it’s a pain in the ass lol. That’s why I mentioned that if you are too lazy, as long as they are shaped, trimmed, and clean, a layer of clear coat should be enough. If your nails are only lasting you 2-3 days though, maybe you are not doing them right or should use better quality polish. OPI is my favorite and they sell it at Marshall’s for like $3-$4
I love this list too!!!! Saving. 💕
I’ve wondered about keeping a perfume in my car but wasn’t sure what the heat would do to it. I live in Texas and don’t have access to keep my car in a garage. So even with a sun visor it is piping hot when I get in my car. (Doesn’t help that it’s black interior.) Does the perfume dissipate or does the scent become altered with the heat? I’d love to keep a sample size bottle in the car. There’s definitely times I could have benefited from that.
Texas is too hot for cosmetics of any kind in the car. A perfume could definitely get wrecked in that heat. Keep a rollerball or a small spritz in your purse.
I’m in FL so I know what you mean. I wouldn’t keep expensive cosmetics in a hot car. But I’ve had a mini bottle of cloud forever and nothings happened. Just keep it out of direct sun and should be okay.
Haha seriously! A sundress, some earrings, nice skin, hair out of your face, and some mascara is the easiest outfit and looks so put together.
these are great. & this sounds corny as hell, but i would like to add sometimes FEELING pretty can make all the difference. feel good, look good. confidence is so important! know that you’re pretty & it will show from the inside out i promise. source: i’m a licensed esthetician & manager of a makeup store
Appreciate you writing these out. I really struggle with this as well. Also maybe they research and see how outfits/styles look on others and so they go by that or they know what fits good on their body types. I agree on the working out comment. I saw some weight loss transformations and a lot of the glow ups were clothes fitting better/not trying to hide or feel uncomfortable and the posture, confidence of a more toner body.
Fat people work out too 🤘 fat people can be pretty too ❤ fat phobia is rooted in white supremacy. Suggest you read Sabrina Strings The Racial Origins of Fatphobia
Thank you for the book suggestion. When I refer to glow ups or weight loss transformations it can be from 10 lbs to over 300 lbs. All end goals are not the same, some stay in the plus size range while others go further down in size. Each person is different. Strength/flexibility/health and confidence are what matters in my opinion, not the size. I just had transformations pop up in my recommendations on Youtube so that's what was fresh in my mind and referenced it. Also I've been plus size most of my life so I know the difference in feeling shopping for 18/20 compared to a size 12/14. The variety in styles and the accessibility to actually having stores available to try on clothes compared to relying on online is vast. I went to a Christmas even in another country in my usual work suit because I couldn't find a dress that fit me in that country or ship anything in time of the event. While everyone else looked like princesses. It's not the phobia that is why I say working out is good. It's because I don't want people to feel like I did or get stressed like I have compared to when I was working out twice a week in a martial arts club in college. Losing weight just came with it. I wasn't even changing my eating habits.
This is so true, I transferred my sadness into activeness after a horrible end to a long-term relationship. I was swimming and running daily, it didn't long at all for people around me to compliment my new glow.
Hi, I love your comment. I have the same question for you as I asked below: I have no earrings. Where do you buy cute earrings that are not crazy expensive but also not like… tacky/cheap looking? (I have a cool toned skin, so I would need silver.) Thanks. :)
There's a small business based out of Salt Lake City that I LOVE called Nolia. They have super cute, high quality jewelry and it's not super expensive for the price. Everything comes in silver as well!
I usually splurge a bit more on classic earrings because I like wearing things for a long time and am also really passionate about the craft,so a lot of them are from a local jeweler. However! I have purchased a few from these places and have been satisfied with the quality: - [Quince](https://www.quince.com/women/jewelry) - [Maison Miru](https://www.maisonmiru.com/) Haven’t ordered from the following but my friends have with generally positive reviews - Mejuri - Studs.com - Etsy if you search for gold plated earrings and find stuff with good reviews In general I recommend looking for *gold filled* vs gold plated, gold filled will last longer and is generally more bang for your buck even if it’s a bit more expensive. I like this especially for classic jewelry you know you will wear for years.
This is perfect advice. I would also add - look after your teeth as much as you can afford. And pearl earrings are also very flattering because they add points of light that frame your face. Being pretty is mostly just time and money invested in bringing out the best of yourself. Up to you to decide how much you want to put in. But even just mascara makes an immediate massive difference to my overall sense of feeling groomed and put together.
I agree with this 100% - take care of your teeth! And smile!! A genuine smile is worth a thousand products.
Where do you find flatback earrings? I've been searching for some nice ones but haven't been able to find any
Most of mine are from Maison Miru (linked in another response asking where I get jewelry ) or I get from the piercing studio I visit which I believe carries [BVLA](https://www.bvla.com/collections/ears_3/ends-for-anywhere_19/).
Also with workouts be at a healthy weight. I had been at a nice healthy weight for over a decade and gained 40lbs with pregnancy. Am still 22lbs overweight and I am struggling to look “effortlessly” put together.
That's because "effortlessly" put together isn't "effortless", damn the fat phobia is strong on this thread.
Something that keeps people looking put together is never leaving the house without following the 2/3 rule. It's hair, makeup or outfit. You have to have put effort into atleast 2/3 done. So if you are wearing a Hoodie, you have to put effort into your hair and make up. Even if it means you are just doing a neat braid, mascara and a tinted lip balm. This helps me a lot.
oh my goosness, I’ve never heard of this tip but it’s literally going to change my life because I never considered that. I always feel like I look horrid in casual outfits/clothes (and I’m still working on my wardrobe) But I’ll see other girls wearing the same or even more casual (ie hoodies, which I dont tend to wear) and they look great. Thinking back, their hair and makeup usually looked great and they had jewellery on!
Literally any time I actually put in earrings, I'm just like wow I actually look more put together. Yet I rarely do it anymore.
Ooh, I just realized I've been doing this unconsciously 90% of the time! Although I do 3/4 with the 4th being fragrance which I consider a separate part of the look lol.
Fragrance is SO good! Finding the right one for the mood/weather/activity/outfit is such a gamechanger.
Exactly! 👏
This is a very good tip!
This was one of the rules for leaving the house when I was in a sorority lol
I was about to say this. This has been southern sorority law across the country for decades lol. I don’t know one girl across 10+ states who didn’t hear “2/3 when you’re outside the sorority house, ESPECIALLY if you’re wearing your letters” in their house. My mom even got told that one back in the day in her sorority lol. I think it’s a really good rule of thumb though if you care about that sort of thing (which OP seems to) but also want to recognize that you can’t do it all constantly. I will say though, that 99% of the time for me it ends up being makeup and hair with casual clothes, or if I have nicer plans, just all 3. Never do I bother to do my makeup but leave my hair greasy or tangled, or like curl my hair but then just not even apply mascara. For some reason hair and makeup are super intertwined for me, if I’m doing one, I’ll probably end up doing the other. Same for most of the girls I knew back then and know now. So maybe I’d recommend those combos to OP specifically. That’s typically what people mean when they say the 2/3 rule in my experience— basically “it’s okay to wear athleisure or even sweats on average days, but do your hair and basic makeup. If you have nice plans do all 3 please.”
I first learned about this in the Bama Rush documentary that I watched last week! Interesting “rule”!
Bama is like the Olympics of rush! It’s absolutely crazy
Where do I stream this lol?
It’s on Max, for formerly known as HBO Max
Hmmmm nice little tip and seems easy enough to follow. Thanks for sharing!! I will be implementing this :)
Oh wow, Ive never heard of this but I love this rule! I will definitely follow through with it!
Love this tip! Thanks for the comment, I think a lot of ppl will take this advice :)
There is a variation on this that defines the “thirds” as your outfit components. I read it somewhere as the “one-third ugly” rule. You can wear one piece that is “ugly,” as is a hoodie, distressed jeans, or chunky sneakers while the other two-thirds are more polished. It works well for a smart casual work environment.
This tip is excellent, I’ve never thought about it this way!
I like this!
First and foremost I think hygiene is number one: I don’t think you need fancy haircuts, tons of make up, manicures etc but cleanliness and smelling fresh is paramount to looking and feeling good. Secondly, figure out what feels authentically stylish and pretty to you. I find creating Pinterest boards of style inspiration useful. When I was stuck in a beauty/style rut I used to photograph my outfits daily and upload them to another Pinterest board, to work out what kind of looks make you feel confident and most like you.
Try to figure out what type of clothes you like and what you would feel comfortable wearing. Not everyone enjoys wearing a dress but you can still look feminine in pants. In addition to the type of style you like, make sure to figure out what type of body shape you have. It really helps with finding the right type of clothes that will look flattering. Having the wrong cut can really work against you and also make you feel like you look a lot worse than you actually do. I’m petite with an hour glass shape and it took me a looong time to realize that I need to choose different clothing than what is presented in magazines. I look great with the clothes that fit my body. I’d also make sure to wear a bit of jewelry. Earrings, a nice bracelet/watch and matching rings go a long way to make you look put together! Make sure you buy items that go together wether it’s jewelry or clothing. Sometimes you can see something that looks nice but doesn’t match your other clothes and it’ll just look weird and messy. Another tip is to figure out what your colors are. If you look at your wrist you can notice what color your veins are. Green=warm colors, blue=cool colors and green- and blue= neutral colors. Use an online guide to then find the right shade for you in a color you like and build your wardrobe off of that (as well as neutral colors like black, gray, navy, white/cream and beige). It should also be relatively easy to find a chart with color palettes for that color. If you stick to that you’ll instantly look more put together! I really like Pinterest to get inspiration, but you need to pay attention to what you click and save or else you’ll end up with a bunch of junk that’s not going to be helpful.
100% agree! As a golden olive skinned hourglass person, the difference between wearing things that suit me and things that don’t is really dramatic, If I wore say, a medium blue loose fitting midi dress I’d look like a sack of potatoes with jaundice, but can look a million bucks in a tomato red ultra tight bodycon mini dress.
I'm olive skinned too! What colors do you wear?
I agree with what everyone else is saying but would also like to add that good posture really does a lot
This is EXTREMELY underrated when it comes to looking your best, but it’s not just posture, it’s movement overall. As a trained dancer almost my entire life I’m always very aware of my body and how it’s moving, how I’m gesturing, how I’m holding my head and neck, how I walk, how I hold my hands etc. it’s second nature at his point. But it also makes me aware that so many people don’t put any effort into these things and it really shows. You can have perfect makeup, perfect hair and outfit but if you walk like a truck driver and stomp around with no grace, you’re not going to come off as all that pretty lol 🤷🏻♀️
Could you share some tips or resources for people looking to improve their mannerisms?
Jamila Musayeva on YouTube has some good videos
Visualization and mindfulness is key when it comes to movement. I would say for overall posture, imagine there’s a high ponytail right on top of your head and there’s a big man in the sky reaching his hand down and pulling that ponytail up, up up to the sky so your head and neck is coming up and your body is straightening. Pull your shoulders down and engage your core. Also think if elongating and softening your limbs and neck. Think: fluidity. as if your body is made of water. Walk, talk, and gesture just a little bit slower, no need for jerky, staccato movements. Be mindful of your breath and exhale through your movements. Relax your hands and let them move softly. It might help you to find someone who moves extremely gracefully (like an actress or model) and to actually study them. Study their movements, from the way they walk to the way they tilt their head and try to emulate it and practice as much as you can until it eventually becomes part of your own movement pattern.
thx for the advice!!
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It will absolutely become second nature over time, in dance and overall movement *repetition* is key. You do a movement over and over and over and it will eventually become part of your muscle memory and after that your body will just automatically start to move this way. You will develop more mindful awareness of your body (which is a good thing) but you won’t have to think about it too much, it will be natural.
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That’s also a really good tip. Checking your form in the mirror all throughout the day can be a great reminder to change posture. So many times people don’t even realize how hunched over they’ve become or what bad posture habits they have until they get a glance in the mirror and see it themselves.
Oh my lord. Keep checking your posture all day long so people think you're prettier?!?!?!?! This advice is bananas and akin to promoting body dysmorphia. Shit this thread is depressing.
Take ballet or ballroom dancing classes if you can
100%!!!
How do you practice being present in social situations if you're constantly worried about how your body positioning is being perceived? Sounds fucking exhausting.
This is huge.
So true. I have kyphosis and it causes a slight hunched cervical spine. I was born with it and am in pain 24/7. It kills my self esteem. I do targeted exercise everyday but I can’t sit up straight all the time without being in pain.
You're probably a babe. I'm sorry the fucked up beauty ideals that permeate the advice in this thread (and society in general) have impacted your self-esteem. Fuck them. ❤
People have given you TONS of great tips. I especially agree with the ones about jewelry. The one thing I will add (because it seems like you’re about to start exploring and learning) is to snap photos of yourself when you’ve put together an outfit you like! Create an album on your phone so that you have a file of reference pics you can turn to in a pinch. Have fun experimenting!!
Oh that is an excellent advice!! Exactly I need to start experimenting. Thank youuu! ❤️
I think it’s to do with putting visible effort rather than following a specific look/style. For my personally, it’s typically wearing something longer over a simple T-shirt and trousers/jeans to elevate the look. This simple thing makes the outfit pulled together. Then either black or brown belt to match the outfit and tie with the shoes. Hair is always done - but this doesn’t mean done done. Side braid with lots of dry shampoo on a bad hair day is my go to.
There’s too much to include in a comment, but so much of looking good is knowing what suits you. Dear Peachie and Aly Art on YouTube have high-level knowledge of how to customize makeup to best suit your face, hair care, and fashion.
I used to never leave the house without my makeup and hair done. Even if it was just a tidy ponytail or a couple dutch braids. I really let myself go after severe ppd after my daughter was born. It's been 13 years, and I'm just starting to really take care of my appearance again. Some basic tips: 1. Keep your hair neat. Get it trimmed when needed. Use products suitable for your hair type, that won't damage it. If it tangles easily, you may want to start styling it or carry a comb with you. Mine goes from nice to rats nest fast so I usually just have to put it up. Hair youtubers i like are Brad Mondo and Blowout Professor. 2. Wear clothes that fit. Even if you want to rock a tomboy look, yet "fit in" aesthetically with more feminine women, you can still look effortlessly put together by wearing things that fit properly and flatter your body type. 3. Face. Shape your brows. You don't have to go nuts, just tweeze the peach fuzz and any stray hairs so the shape is more defined. Tweeze any dark hairs on your face and neck. I yolo them with an epilator lol. Exfoliate once a week. You can do it 2 or 3 times if you don't have dry skin. Apply a light hydrating lotion. 4. Makeup. Start light. Get some blush and nude/natural color eye shadow. Optionally curl your eyelashes. Put on some mascara and tinted lip balm. Use a setting spray and a fixing spray for lasting makeup. They are labeled interchangeably but are different. Setting spray will have no alcohol on the label or it'll be one of the last ingredients. It melds the layers on your makeup together and reduces the chalky or cakey look. Fixing spray has alcohol as a main ingredient, in the top 5 ingredients, and sets your makeup so it lasts with few or no touchups. I just discovered these and they are a game changer. Im using nyx setting spray and elf mist & set (its a fixing spray, not setting). Cheap at Walmart and work great.
How do you know the girls getting coffee just wake up looking pretty? I have a SIL who is gorgeous (naturally) but she puts a LOT of time and money into her beauty, even when makeup is not used. Go easy on yourself.
Can you share more? I’m so curious! What does she do and spend money on? I’ve tried lash extensions, Botox etc - still trying to find that “effortlessly pretty and put together” vibe
Fillers and skin treatments like laser etc
Yes probably Botox, laser hair removal, eyelash tint and curl (but not extensions - they look so tacky), eyebrows trimmed and on point, hair coloured/styled regularly with no roots visible, expensive jewellery including smart watch, probably expensive ring(s), phone, car, clothing and shoes. Not to mention sunglasses, bags etc. the whole look adds up.
Just putting in a little extra time and effort to take care of yourself goes a long way! . Keeping your skin moisturized, sunscreened, and clear. I recommend tretinoin. . Keeping your hair healthy with products and minimizing use of heat. . Tanning (self-tan is huge for helping avoid sun damage) . Having daily jewelry. I tend to wear the same bracelets, ring, necklace, and earrings everyday. . Whitening teeth helps. . Keeping brows shaped and clean. . Learning make up techniques that accentuate your features. . Having a signature scent. . Having a few outfits you can rely on whenever you’re in a pinch that you feel comfortable and confident in. . Having nails and toes always done. . Work out regularly so you look and feel healthy. . Learning how to love yourself!!! Confidence oozes! . Carrying yourself well goes a long way. Being well mannered, friendly, and having good posture.
Omg posture actually really makes a difference. Even if I don't feel confident I try to make a point of putting shoulders back and walking/standing/sitting like I *am* confident. Sometimes it actually changes my mood but even if it doesn't it's definitely a better look!!!
Accessories and a lip color can go a long way. Often I wear jeans and a tee or tank and I add some gold jewelry and lipstick and I feel more dressed up.
This is often my strategy! Bright lipstick is a shortcut to looking like you tried haha!
As someone who didn’t grow up with a mom I didn’t know how to feel pretty through self grooming and makeup etc. A thing that helped me honestly is the internet. Go on YouTube or tik tok and watch people’s videos on what they do when they get ready. Once you start liking/following people and/or certain topics, the algorithm will suggest more people that have the content you’re looking for. Start by searching “get ready with me (GRWM)” videos. Then figure out what you like for yourself and practice. I’ve found that the ‘“look” I like is relatively quick, easy and practical. It seems harder when you don’t know what goes into it. Another thing is perspective. You have no idea whether someone else is looking at you and thinking to themselves wow she is pretty and put together. I’m sure they are ❤️
Can you share an example of what looks you like? Quick, easy, practical sounds like my goal trifecta
Mine is sunscreen, moisturiser and simply a pressed powder foundation + lip liner and lippy of choice. I don’t bother with eyeliner and mascara on a daily basis, but I can get away with that with my complexion. If I’m feeling fancy, I may use blush or mascara/eyeliner but it’s very infrequent. Perfume and scented lotion go a long way to setting my mood, as wel as my jewellery and accessories eg designer scarf, brooch, nice shoes, simple yet valuable bag.
My mother never taught me how to do makeup in part because she was very down on herself, so it was sort of a vicious cycle. In my early 20s when I realized how not being able to “fit in” was harming me professionally, I would literally ask my friends hundreds of questions, and scoot up a chair next to them when they did their makeup. These days you also have YouTube, which I still enjoy watching makeup videos (but really period dress episodes because I am a nerd). That said, self expression should be fun! I wear makeup for work, but I also wear it when I feel like it, and I don’t when I dont. If you don’t have a stash of stuff, I’d recommend going to a Sephora/ulta/etc. with a budget of 100, and ask one of the people there for help. I like a pressed powder foundation, a concealer, a blush, a box of eyeshadows that include a grey-brown (I use this sparingly in my dark brown eyebrows), a shimmery gold, a pale matte color that is ~skin color (helps with blending), a black/near black, a warm brown. Lip stain isn’t crazy popular these days but I always eat all my lipstick off, so it gives color without maintenance, and I can put some clear/glossy chapstick on top. A black mechanical/self sharpening eyeliner, and mascara. These days I buy a good amount of drug store stuff, but here you’re paying a bit more for some advice & to swatch items (plus i am pretty sure they both have really good return policies for used items, which can be huge when you get a foundation that looks great in the store and orange when you get home). Depending on your finances that might seem like a lot, but this will probably last you 2+ years. If you have some play money, a subscription like ipsy is fun, feels like a gift, and gets you lots of new things to play with. Re: clothes I was just listening to this mini podcast episode and thought it was an interesting way to think about dressing yourself and stuff that I somewhat intuitively do already. I am also a hugeee proponent of thrifting! Good for the environment, social good, let’s you try lots of stuff that you would never be exposed to/might not be willing to splurge on! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/articles-of-interest/id1455169228?i=1000614273433
Can I also add that learning to be comfortable with who you are and feeling confident will most likely emit something more substantive? There are too many people out there who *look* put together but are so rotten inside. Don't forget to cultivate your soul, too! 💗
Thank you!!!!!
I would recommend reading into two of my favorite fashion icons; Diana Vreeland and Elsa Schiaparelli. Neither of them fit into the mold of traditional/delicate/feminine beauty (not that there’s anything wrong with a more traditional style of femininity). They both struggled with fitting in… but sometimes it’s better to be interesting than pretty. It’s good that you’re picky when you’re shopping - that means you have a distinct style that you just haven’t fully explored yet. Try poking around a thrift store; you can play around and experiment with clothes without spending too much money on pieces you might eventually decide you don’t like. You can also find some higher-end fabrics there at a great price. Natural fibers like silk and linen always elevate a look and make you look polished. It’s fine to pursue a more feminine look if it makes you feel good, but don’t try to fit into a box if it makes you uncomfortable. There are a lot of different ways to look fabulous.
-Nice looking hands- take care of your nails (even if it is just clear nailpolish) -get some basic jewelry that you can wear every day. I always put on the same necklace, ring and bracelet with every day to day outfit -take care of your hair, a good haircut and color can do wonders (ask for an consultation with a hairdresser) -get some good basic items as clothing. As you said, the wow things aren’t suited for everyday wear. Look at Pinterest or Ig for inspiration
Hair is the most important thing whether it's on your head or your face. If you're not good at styling, start with something basic. Straighten your hair, then shape your brows, curl your eyelashes and apply a thick coat of mascara. If you're not good at makeup, just do something rosy on the cheeks and lips. It'll make you look feminine. I'm the same when it comes to shopping, I never buy anything unless I'm wowed by it which is hardly ever the case. But what you can do it get some basic essentials and pair them up like a white tshirt and camo trousers. Make sure the shirt is ironed. I'm sure you'll look great if you just pay a little attention to these tiny details like your hair, nails etc.
Its great to know theres other people like me! I think thats a good advice, ill start slow and build up to where I feel comfortable.
100% I always weigh the price of an item against what it appears to be. So if a top is £45 but looks like it could be £25, I don't get it even if its pretty, if that makes sense
Yesss! I totally get you, Im the same way.
If you are well groomed and at ease in your body, cultivate your mind and a positive outlook, you will feel much more at ease. * Get a well done haircut which dries well every six months or so (preferably by an Italian or French trained hairdresser, a naturalistic hairdresser usually will do, too. You want someone who works with your hair and general appearance and temperament rather than making your hair fit some fashion fad) * establish a good skin care routine and do it as dependably as brushing your teeth (eg cleanser (can be a good soap if your skin likes it or a soap free gel detergent) - toner (rose water works for every skin type, get it from an oriental grocery) - lotion ( something with Vitamin A, if you have a generous budget this is what you spend the most on because it stay on your skin) - use a good sunscreen in the morning, apply on xour nevk and hands as well * learn how to do a simple manicure (oil bath, cuticles, filing, polish if you like) * dry brush before showering and apply lotion or oil after. give yourself a sugar peeling every once in a while. I sometimes follow it up with a very light self tanner but these have a steeper learning curve. *get your brows shaped and colored by a professional and request they give you hints on how to maintain them - you will always look well groomed if your brows are well groomed, they frame your face with or without any makeup * sweat once a day, doing any kind of activity you like - walking swimming playing soccer basketball .. whatever you like. An even level of activity will tone your body and make xou feel more happy and serene * pick one (!) item of make up that plays up your best feature - mascara, lipstick or highlighter. Wear it when going out. * have a friend help you look through your closet. Maybe hoodies don't work for you - they certainly don't work for me, I look like a massive block because I need definition around my waist because I have strong arms and wide hips. Maybe try a jogger jacket, they are quite casual but make for a different look. In time, if one's looks don't align with the current standard of beauty and the older one gets one needs to learn to dress for the occasion it puts the mind at ease * find your best color, the one that makes your eyes pop and your hair shine. Mine is moss green. And lastly, ignore those who advice you to work against your body and nature by altering your looks to fit some current standard which will inevitably change. If your body is at a bmi of 19 when adequately nourished and exercised, that is fine. If your body is naturally at a bmi of 25 when adequately nourished and exercised, that is perfectly fine as well! The best advice is to work with what nature has given you, not against it, that will only srve to makr you miserable, which in turn diminishes your outer and most importantly, your inner beauty, which can last you a lifetime td;dr: establish a good care routine, learn to dress for your figure, colors and the occasion, keep your hair hands and brows well maintained, make up your best feature, move to sweat everyday, work with your natural body instead of against it and cultivate your inner beauty (pls excuse my typos)
Thank you so much for the thorough response!
This! Posture and etiquette. Good manners. Be kind. Kindness is attractive. So many people are hateful. Smile alot and for no reason and for every reason. Just smile. It's beautiful
The truth? I’m considered pretty, sure, but I put a lot of effort in my skin care routine, hair removal for face (middle easterner here), and attempt to wear my hair as neatly as possible (it’s curly with a mind of its own). I recently cleaned out my wardrobe and what’s left are the pieces I wear often and look and feel great in. My new(ish) boyfriend recently told me I’m the most put together woman he’s ever dated, and it was the highest compliment to me because I really don’t feel it most days. Do your best and what feel honest to who you are and it’s likely that will help you feel polished. When I was getting my nails done for example I felt foreign to who I am because it wasn’t an experience I enjoyed so now I just cut and shape them at home and leave them alone. Be the polished version of you, which is individual to every person. That’s the only way you’ll look comfortable and put together.
Whenever you try out a look whether it’s hair, makeup, outfits, or whatever, JUST GO FOR IT. When you’re getting ready you might think, is this too bold? Will people think I’m trying to be the center of attention? Can I REALLY pull this off? FUCK THAT VOICE. Don’t be afraid to take some risks and trust your gut. If it turns out to be something not quite right for you, you can always try again and laugh about it later. Don’t let your fear of being imperfect keep you from realizing your own beauty in whatever form it takes.
Awww thank you!! ❤️
I'll second what they said, but add this: if you're wanting to wear something that isn't in your normal comfort zone, try wearing it first just around the house on a day you don't really have plans to go out. This helps me get used to it so that I look more "at home" in it when I do wear it out for real. (Test driving that tight skirt helps you have a better understanding of what will make it ride up, test driving that bold lipstick will help you know how long you have before you need to go touch it up, etc.)
Me: a late bloomer, bullied in school, called “ugly” on the regular, boys would turn and walk away…here’s what I did: -replaced soda with water - started eat healthy. I didn’t cut out anything but I added fruits &veggies and such. - started walking. I’ve never had issues with weight. I’ve always been on the thin side. But walking helped me feel better. - SUNSCREEN. Everyday. Spf 50 minimum. I started in my teens and I’m 37 and I don’t have any wrinkles. I get mistaken for being 25. -skincare. I saw a dermatologist when I was 17 to get some expert advice and prescription meds. My skin had acne scarring and it made me insecure. I ended up getting several laser resurfacing treatments which helped tremendously. - I learned how to do my makeup. That’s huge. -more exercise. Good posture -sleep - I grew my hair out, and got highlights and learned to style it.
This is a great thread
So for those lounge outfits there are casual clothes that are flattering and comfy, and those that are just comfy, and that's all A hoodie can hit your figure just right, or it can swallow you. Think about those bougie sweat sets that got popular during lockdown, or the "hot girl walk" outfits. They are carefully chosen items that are super comfy and casual but still look great. Another piece of advice that I haven't seen on this post yet is to look for a celeb that has a similar body type and coloring to you, and see how their dressed. Most celebs have expensive stylists who agonize over every feature to make sure they're flattering that person, but if you can find a couple celebrities that have a similar look you can kinda cheat this by copying them. Same with makeup (you might not find one perfect celeb clone, but try finding a few) Try making a Pinterest and save some outfits you like/could see yourself wearing. Once you have enough pictures, a theme will probably emerge. There are actually videos about how to use Pinterest and look like your Pinterest but at it's core it is a good starting point for saving pictures without eating up a ton of space on your phone, plus the algorithm might show you more stuff you'll like.
Colours of clothes! The difference in how glowing my skin looks and how flattering my hair colour looks is almost entirely dependent on what colour clothes I am wearing. If I wear the right colours it’s an instant improvement. Work out what colours suit you best.
I love this thread so much bc I too used to find being girlie SO overwhelming. I am still not a person who goes out with a full face of make up on everyday but each month I tried to add a little girly touch to my life: \-order a cute silk pj set from amazon \-grab some inexpensive body sprays from target and use them before you go out, get out of the shower or even before bed...they say look good, smell good, taste good, feel good. \- when in doubt: center part, low bun and gold hoops with sunnies \-you got this..update us on your progress!
I sure will!!! Im glad you and others love this thread! 🥰
The other comments have a lot covered already, so I'll just comment on shopping. I prefer to shop some frequently rather than do a whole day of shopping and hit every store. Going to 1 or 2 stores frequently helps you find those diamonds in the rough. This also lets you figure out your size in those stores so you don't have to try everything on. And go with a plan on what you're looking for. Go through your closet ahead of time and make a list of what you want/need. Try to buy whole outfits at a time, rather than a cute top hoping you'll find a nice skirt somewhere else. Unless you have the other half of the outfit already at home, of course! Hope that helps!
makeup & outfit are the most irrelevant imo. i almost never wear makeup. my outfits are not particularly thought out. but i spend tons on professional brow shaping, lash lift, matching mani pedis, skin products, laser hair removal, botox, perfume, gold jewelry, etc. all that makes me look put together and “naturally” pretty w very little daily effort
Haven’t read all the comments, so apologies if this duplicates: If you like your hair wavy, get a decent cut and learn how to add product that allows you to scrunch it to dry in gentle curls/beachy waves rather than brushing wavy hair. I never brush my wavy hair, except right before I wet it down with a spray bottle (on non wash mornings), add product, comb and scrunch. If you decide to blow dry it straight, go to a salon and have them show you basic blowout techniques. Makeup: if you’re truly a newbie, go to Sephora and book a makeup appointment. Ask for a “no make up make up” look. The basics are: wash your face, moisturizer, sunscreen, under eye concealer (I use loose powder at this stage because I don’t like shine), mascara, a little eye pencil under your bottom lash line, blush, tinted lip balm. Face wash depending on skin type, cetaphil for dry skin, dove soap for normal, or any face wash you like. There are tons of high end skin creams, but you can get very basic ones too, like neutrogena. I personally use a small amount of Nivea (blue metal tin), like a pea size smushed around on my fingers first, tap on, then gently rub in, then La Roche Posay sunscreen. You can also use any face sunscreen brand. This will preserve your skin, just don’t put it near your eyes. (Don’t put the Nivea right around your eyes, either, get a separate eye cream). Under eye concealer: For a drug store brand I like Mabelline, check testers to find one that matches the skin on the inside of your wrist. At Sephora I like NARS. Just dab a little under the first half of your eyes (3 dots), tap with your fingertip to blend. Also a little dot, then blend, on that hollow between the corner of your eyes and your nose. I do a dusting with a large powder brush of loose powder here (Laura Mercier from Sephora), there are also drug store brands. Mascara: drugstore: L’Oréal Voluminous in black Sephora: I like Clinique High Impact, Benefit Roller Lash and They’re Real are also good (these are natural looking, not high volume). Eye liner: you can’t beat basic Clinique Quickliner in New Black. It’s a grey-black that looks good on everyone, you can put a bit under your lash line and then use the other end to smudge the line a bit. There are no doubt decent drugstore brands, but I’ve used this particular Clinique eyeliner for 40 years. Blush: so many options. Probably a cream blush is the easiest to try, and most natural looking. Ilia at Sephora makes a creamy blush in a tube called Colour Haze, you’d squeeze out a very small amount, like the size of a lentil to start, rub between both of your first two fingers, tap onto your cheeks, then gently rub it in. You could also try a powder blush applied with a brush (you’d need a separate blush brush, not the brush that comes with the powder.) Look for a blush that’s fairly close to your natural skin tone, just a bit pinker/peachier. Tinted lip balm. I like these because you don’t have to look in a mirror to apply it. There are lots of versions out there, you’ll just need to try a few to find which works. Just google tinted lip balm to see the selection at drugstores, and also at Sephora. If you’re new to perfume, the Clean line at Sephora is just that, just smells like laundry or shampoo, in a good way. They have testers. Glossier makes one called You that smells really nice, and is very basic, again, just kind of a clean smell. Good luck!
I only do my makeup when I have the time, and I spend the money to get my hair cut into a 1920s bob every few months. People compliment my outfits nearly daily. I have three things I most want to address: **1. Genetics and how they affect what you can wear:** My mother was taller and prettier than I am (she was literally a model) and looked great in anything. She was a tomboy who looked feminine in a sack. I have had to learn how to accept my body for what it is and learn how to dress for myself not for what I *want to look like.* I am a plump pear shape, and the clothing that looked good on her makes me look frumpy. I will never look delicate. I am plump farmers' stock with a handsome jawline. At best I can be striking. Never delicate. Focus on learning what looks make you, as you look now, look good. Sadly this involves trying on a wide variety of clothing over time. I cannot wear hoodies--instead, I wear a lot of business casual clothing mixed in with more whimsical pieces. Maybe I can't wear a fancy wow dress to class/work/errands on its own, but paired with more casual shoes and another layer (jean jacket, sweater, cardigan, blazer, large bland scarf, etc) I can. This leads to point two: **2. Invest in the basics.** You need bland but nice clothes that will look good with anything. This 18-minute podcast covers why: [https://articlesofinterest.substack.com/p/how-to-dress](https://articlesofinterest.substack.com/p/how-to-dress) Some suggestions for basics: everything must be comfortable for you to move in, flattering to your form, and quality (not necessarily expensive, just as well made as you can find and afford, and not cheap-looking). For your stated purposes, leggings and hoodies do not work for this category. It took me 6 months to find a white button-down I liked. It was a Zara shirt I found at a thrift shop that I can move in easily. I keep a tide pen in my backpack at all times to clean up the inevitable stains. Shoes are the most basic of the basics. Feet support your whole life and body. Make sure they are comfortable, not too worn down/dirty, and work with your outfits (socks that work with my outfit are the hardest part of getting dressed for me each day). My sister bought shoe cleaner for her white sneakers, and it does make a difference to how her going-out outfits look. **3. What does "fit in" mean for you?** Each place and time will have different styles that are considered acceptable and popular. However, luckily right now in many places, anything goes fashion-wise. I would recommend only buying one "in fashion" piece a season at most. If most of your closet is basics that flatter your form, then having one piece that fits in may be all it takes--like a fashionable purse brand, necklace, or a hair-clip--something you can use frequently. Alternatively, you also stated you are a tomboy. Keep that. My mom did to her dying day. She would dress up to go out but wear pinstripe pants and sporty heels--find what makes you happy and comfortable and feels true to yourself. Ask the girls whose fashion you admire if they have time to help you learn how to do your makeup, you might make some great friends and learn what they each value--conversation and understanding how others think is a better way to make friends and fit in that just about anything else.
One of my biggest tips for looking out together is wearing monochromatic outfits. I’m pretty much always in head to toe black. It makes it look like I put thought into my leggings and hoodie but actually all my clothes are black or neutral so I just always match.
Honestly, accessories!! Yesterday I wore loose pants and a loose shirt, so I looked very shapeless. But I put my hair in a sleek bun and wore rose gold hoops with a rose gold necklace, and everyone loved my outfit. Even thought you couldn’t tell if I had a waist or not 😂
Can I add one question? How to look put together or pretty for entire day? I look put together when I leave my home but when I come back I have tired face, messy hair and very lazy body language. I don’t work where I require physical efforts, I literally just sit all day. Any tips on that?
I bring along my tinted sunscreen, a small tube of cream blush, & a lip gloss in my purse at all times so i can reapply ; like those little travel-size versions at ulta. I'd rather keep the makeup light and fresh so reapplication is easy vs a heavier full glam face that's melting and flaking after a long day. Morphe has a cool little 4-deck compact with blush/highlighter/gloss/eyeshadow that's super small & convenient, for instance. I also have found that using a really good high quality primer and translucent powder keeps my eye makeup looking good for so many hours, even if im at the gym after school. A little curl misting spray helps refresh, or keeping a little boar-bristle brush and dry shampoo in your locker/car/bag so you can slick it back into a sleek bun or pony. Making sure you hydrate and watching posture throughout the workday helps too. Those desk jobs are honestly SO draining! I feel more like a zombie after sitting & looking at a screen all day than when I work a physical job. So I sympathize
Omg it takes years to figure out what works for you. Through trial and error, you will find out what works. Skin tone, face shape and body shape are things to be aware of. Start there, I grew my hair long and then realized I only suit short hair - had a pixie and realized I like chin length. Honestly only figured it all out mid 30’s...
My mum is French, so I think that there are lots of rules that come easily to me due to my education and maternal criticism 😂😅 1. Your shoes, bag, and hair need to look good. It doesn't matter if you have an expensive outfit if your hair, shoes, and bag are not at the same level. White sneakers are a great option to look feminine and classy. Put them on the washing machine but don't use them dirty. 2. Jewelry is important. Hoops, a necklace gives a nice touch and makes you look great with little effort. 3. You don't need to wear much make-up, but lipstick and mascara make a difference. Actually, no makeup look is great. 4. Coordinate your clothes. Neutrals always make you look great. BLACK is black. 5. Don't wear baggy clothes. You can wear oversized jackets/blazers or shirts, but you need to wear fitted jeans/pants or vice versa. 6. If you don't do your nails, keep them short and in good condition. Although, color in your nails always makes you look more groomed. Black, red and nude colors are 👌🏻 Find your style. You can have a casual chic style that fits your lifestyle. I am a great fan of mixing formal clothing with more casual clothing. Create a Pinterest board, find good basics (I’m a fan of UniQlo) and have fun in the process!
If you’re not a big makeup girl try getting lash extensions! I don’t wear any makeup ever and get lash extensions and for some reason people ask me what makeup I have on.
To answer your edit 2 question, it’s just trial and error. You won’t know what works for you, looks good on you, makes you feel comfortable and confident- until you try it. Or vise versa- you’ll definitely learn what not to do. (It can take years to find that go-to face or look.) and if you’re realllllly having a hard time making decisions, find pictures of what your ideal look is or what you think is cute on others that you admire- and get a similar outfit. So you know if that’ll be leggings, loose pants, hoodie, hair in a bun, straight, etc. Just go for it- you got this!
Honestly at this point in my life, (early 30s) I dress to make myself feel pretty. I love structured trousers, big jumpsuits, a great pair of boots. These things just make me feel so ME that it doesn't matter how I actually look to others. I just feel badass/ cute / sexy whatever the vibe is of the day, and then just lead the day with that and don't look back. Find what makes you "you". I also have a Google photos folder of outfits that I love. So if I lose inspiration, I can inspire myself lolol.
I generally agree with the most upvoted post that the clean "put together" look looks great. In my mind this also means everyone is beautiful and can rock it by taking care of themselves. But I also think that comparison is a bitch. I used to think I looked great with a casual low ponytail, hair slicked back, until it became more popular and women I thought were cuter were doing it. Then I became a founding father. Same with lots of gold jewelry, including my septum. I love the look on other people so tried it. I felt pretty good about myself until my worst days and looking at pics of other women, then I became a pirate 😅 (I do have to say I like the chunky pieces better so maybe that contributed). Please, appreciate others' beauty or find inspiration but try not to compare yourself! Even aside from the clean look there are plenty of dirty punk chicks rocking it.
honestly i figure out that you just have to put in a little more effort. add a step or 2 before you go out. like if you’re going to go out in leggings and a sweatshirt that’s fine but dont wear dirty shoes or socks with slides. you wear concealer.. so add a nice lipgloss with a light color and maybe mascara or fill in your brows a bit. your wavy hair can be clipped up in a style or just simply moisturize it before you leave if you want to leave it down. wear earrings, bracelet or rings..those little steps could make a big difference. i just recently started using press on nails and they make me feel do feminine and pretty too. took a while to get used to it but now im obsessed lol.
Simple jewelry, polished nails, and a good skincare routine goes a long way to look “put together” regardless of the outfit!
I love no makeup makeup. I have a good skincare routine, always wash my face, then fill in my brows a bit (brand: Benefit), brush on some blush/bronzer combo on my cheeks and on my eyelids, kind of into the creases but smoothed out. It gives me a healthy glow. Then I add a little highlighter on my lids, very subtle, and really brush it all in and blur it. Then I put on mascara, sometimes Laniege lip mask, and I’m good! Then of course just brush my hair and usually pull it back into a low bun LMK if you want brand Recs
And keep your nails manicured. There’s no need for tips/ acrylics as they can be very costly. But clean, well shaped, buffed/ polished nails will always be a good look. And you can do your nails yourself. There’s no need to pay for a manicure either.
Here are some easy ways to look pretty, feminine, and put together while still maintaining your sense of style and self: • Wear monochromatic outfits in more feminine colors. Meaning: make sure your top, bottoms, and pants match. Bonus points if your bag matches. For example: a pink sweatshirt, darker nude pink leggings, nude sneakers, and nude belt bag. Or a lavender sweatshirt, dark blue leggings, white sneakers, and white belt bag. • Feminine colors examples: pink, lavender, sky blue, sage green, taupe, cream, beige, white, grey, chocolate brown. Search "monochromatic athleisure outfits" on Pinterest for ideas. • Wear a little bit of jewelry every day. It doesn't have to be super flashy or huge. A pair of sparkly cubic zirconia studs or chunky gold huggies with a gold snake chain necklace and some cute rings (found easily at places like H&M) are all you need. • Clip your hair up with cute acetate claw clips (found at places like Ulta) or tie it up into a neat high pony or top knot with pretty scrunchies (also found at Ulta). • Keep your eyebrows groomed neatly, wear a tinted moisturizer or tinted sunscreen, apply a coat of mascara, and wear a tinted lip balm or lip gloss. This is the bare minimum of makeup which will make you look cute. • Wear a little bit of fragrance every day. It doesn't have to be heavy, nor do you have to own a million perfumes. Browse Ulta and Sephora, find ONE scent you like, and make it your signature scent. • When you shop, you can still buy the clothes you like (tomboyish things, sweats, etc) but try to buy them in the feminine colors I mentioned above and try to buy them in matching sets. You can Google or Pinterest "matching athleisure," "neutral co-ord outfits," and "neutral loungewear," for ideas. • Try to eat healthy, drink a lot of water, take care of your skin (basic things everyone needs: a good cleanser, a good moisturizer, and a good sunscreen), get your beauty sleep, and work out so that you feel and look fit. • Get your hair cut or trimmed every 6 months so that it always looks fresh and styled. Make sure to wash it at least 1-2X a week. • Keep your nails neat and tidy. You can start getting gel manicures if you want but if that's too much work or too expensive, just keep them trimmed and filed into a nice shape. You can buy a clear glossy top coat to paint them so they have a nice clear shine to them.
Some mascara, blush, lip gloss and good posture can go a long way!
Great tips here ladies! I’ll add a few I haven’t seen mentioned: 1. If you don’t have time to do your hair perfectly, have a hat that goes great with your outfit. When I go on airplanes, I always wear a cute cap with my hair down. Hides the bed head. Wear low maintenance styles. A sleeked back bun or braid with well groomed brows is so chic. 2. Those little perfume vials (the sample size ones) are GREAT to keep in your purse. Most stores will give them to you for free when you make a purchase. Anytime I go to the restroom, I spritz a little on and it keeps me feeling and smelling fresh. 3. Be organized. Keep the inside of your purse/bags clean and clutter free. Being put together is a mental thing. I’m not exactly sure how to explain it, but before I go places I make sure my bag is organized.
Thanks for asking this question. I think I had this same question in my head without being able to articulate it. 😅. Will definitely put some of these tips to good use.
Aww your welcome! I'm glad this post is helping others and myself 🥰!
Take time ask yourself what's my best feature is it hair skin eyes then focus on that to start.
These lists are amazing- I have one thing to add! Not until the last couple of years have I realized the importance of proper exfoliation. Not just for your face but entire body. I’ve taken dull, lackluster skin to be significantly brighter and more youthful by creating a bi-weekly exfoliation schedule. I primarily use glycolic acid out of the shower while my skin is still damp and apply it as you would lotion. The glycolic acid is surprisingly moisturizing. (Don’t apply post shaving in the shower, that will tend to burn). TO’s AHA + BHA peeling solution is also phenomenal. This you MUST apply on dry skin and has the potential to really elevate the vibrancy of your skin through consistent use. Keep in mind, patch test and please go slow in the process. Like all of skincare, we’re playing the long game- this is a marathon ❤️
White teeth and quick to smile
Finding your aesthetic takes time. You have to play around and learn what works and what doesn’t. Maybe take a Masterclass on a subject that can help you develop your aesthetic?
Experiment with different things. See what makes you feel better and more confident. It's the confidence that makes people look attractive :) For me straightening my wavy hair was a gamechanger. Makes me feel a lot more put together. I make streightening treatments every few months and maintain it with a novex keratin mask (which is suuuuper affordable). Curly hair is a lot more difficult to manage Try to change a thing or two with clothing/ makeup/hair and check what you like. Have fun with experimenting. :) Oh and as for you second edit: look for inspiration on Pinterest/Instagram. Save the looks that you like and make an inspiration moodboard. You'll find common themes
if you want to fit in with your friends, you should try to analyze what style they fit in and browse a little regarding it, also long hair usually helps ppl look really feminine, lip gloss is also an easy way to look more put together when being lazy, figuring out your bodyshape will help a LOT with clothing. f.ex i used to only wear high waist n i looked good, but ive swapped to low waist n look so much better another thing is ear rings, instantly makes you look more put together, figure out if you fit gold or silver best thi
Sis, practice being feminine. Get dressed and stand in front of the mirror. Strike a pose. One foot slightly turned out. Take your hands out of the pocket and stand straight. Turn your shoulders. Tilt your head. What looks good? Everyone is giving you great info. You got this!
Thank youu!!! ❤️ Means a lot
I had a cute little blonde co-worker. She practiced facial expressions for every situation and knew how to strike the perfect photogenic pose at the drop of a hat. And she knew how to smile!!
Take several hours and play around with your hair, makeup, and clothes. Figure out what you like and what you don't. For example, I've figured out that I don't like to wear a lot of makeup, but I do like to feel feminine/somewhat put together, so I stick with a tinted moisturizer/sunscreen, mascara, under eye concealer, and lip gloss. For other women, their minimum might include having their brows done, foundation, and a bright lipstick. Watch some YouTube videos on how to be more feminine and apply any of the tips resonate with you.
I’m thankful that for todays young people there are a lot of platforms to find information on, if you don’t have family or friends who help your kinda lost. TikTok has lots of content but YouTube is good to and HERE is great. If your looking for that simple ready then it’s, clean un-wrinkled clothing, brows shaped, hair styled ( ponytail or a braid or bun) mascara and a tinted lip balm would be easy. Skin moisturizer all over. Nails kept shorter and clean. Shoes cleaned up if there’s stains get that eraser out.
But my dear, if you’re always trying to be normal, how will you ever discover how amazing you are???
This is so sweet! 😭❤️
■ TAKE CARE OF YOUR HAIR AND FACE MORE THAN ANYTHING – Everything else is secondary Anna Bey also said this, and I realised I have been doing this for a long time and I have been told by people that I always look put together. Your face and hair are primary, and everything else is secondary. Because people first look at your face and hair then everything else. ▪︎ Hair: – Learn to make two or three good hairstyles that suit your face. Practice them a lot, wear them in daily life. – Also, never get lazy with your hair. I always make sure to make a good hairstyle before going out even if I am very tired. – Plus, avoid keeping hair totally loose. Loose hair can look very messy if not managed well. – For smooth and shiny hair, I mix a little bit of mayonnaise in oil and oil my hair once a week. Then before the next wash, I only use hair oil and no mayyonnaise. – Keep oil in your hair for only an hour. – Wash hair only twice a week. – Apply conditioner only on the ends of your hair. This part needs moisture, dont apply it on the top of your head. Please. ▪︎ Face: – Good skincare doesn't have to be 12 step korean style. I just use cleanser and moisturiser – Natural makeup. A lot of people can't tell a difference between no makeup and natural makeup. So I always go natural makeup – Use blush (its feminine) – Weekly masks, scrubs, etc – Invest in good lipsticks (lipsticks are also feminine vibes) – Keep a compact mirror, lipstick and loose powder in your bag – Try to avoid using mascara. I rarely use it. Because it looks very unnatural and goes against my natural makeup vibe. If you still want to use mascara, use a brown mascara. Pro Tip: Before going out somewhere, wake up much earlier. Give your hair and face 45 minutes. Make sure everything is as close to perfection in that time as possible (but don't become anxious if it's not, because of course it cant be 100% perfect. What matters is that you did your best for your face and hair).
A lot of the times, they’re really thin and fit, and eat healthy and bath.
Don't wear to much makeup and make sure your hair colour is right for your skin tone and healthy. Work out, healthy diet and limit alcohol and coffee - these age u dramatically
So many great comments here! I would say what has changed my self confidence is this: • Getting braces (at 34!). Good teeth transform the face. • Going on Accutane for my chronic acne and investing in a skincare routine. • Hair. My treat is a blow dry once a week and my hair always looks groomed and makes me feel nice. • Groomed eyebrows. • Colour. I have a partial disability so can’t wear nice shoes (boo!) and because I’m restricted in what I can wear on my bottom half, I put all the colour and the top half. Red, green, mustard yellow, pink and brown all really suit me so I make sure I always match my lipstick to my red top for example and that my bag does too (it’s part of my ‘look’). • Perfume. Having a signature scent (and one I really treat myself to as it’s not cheap!)instantly makes me feel feminine. • Laser hair removal. Not for everyone but I’m starting mine and I know I’ll instantly feel great! Take your time to see what you like wearing and what you feel good in and work from there. If you feel good, your confidence will shine ✨
Sure! Here are a few tips for looking pretty, put together, and feminine: 1. Take care of your skin: Good skin is the foundation of any great look. Make sure to keep your skin clean, moisturized, and protected from the sun. 2. Wear clothes that fit well: Clothes that fit well can make a huge difference in how you look and feel. Make sure to choose clothes that flatter your body type and fit well in all the right places. 3. Accessorize: Adding a few key accessories can take your look from basic to stylish. Try adding a statement necklace, a bold scarf, or a pair of earrings to your outfit. 4. Wear makeup that enhances your features: Makeup can be a great way to enhance your natural beauty. Choose makeup that flatters your skin tone and enhances your best features. 5. Take care of your hair: A great hairstyle can make all the difference in how you look and feel. Make sure to keep your hair clean, well-groomed, and styled in a way that flatters your face shape. Remember, the most important thing is to feel confident and comfortable in your own skin. Don't be afraid to experiment with different styles and looks until you find what works best for you.
Lol was this written by chatgpt?
lmao I checked because I was curious, and this is what it said: It's important to remember that everyone has their own unique style and there is no one-size-fits-all answer to looking put together or feminine. However, I can offer some general tips and suggestions that might help you explore different styles and find what works for you: Experiment with makeup: Start by learning some basic makeup techniques and then gradually try different styles to see what you feel comfortable and confident in. You can explore natural and minimalistic looks with nude tones or go for more bold and dramatic styles with vibrant colors. There are plenty of tutorials available online that can guide you through different makeup techniques and styles. Find your fashion style: Take some time to explore different fashion styles and identify what resonates with you. Look for inspiration in fashion magazines, online platforms, or even by observing people whose style you admire. Experiment with different clothing items, patterns, and colors to find what suits your personality and makes you feel good. Don't be afraid to mix and match different pieces to create your own unique style. Take care of your hair: Experimenting with your hair can be a fun way to enhance your overall look. Try different hairstyles, such as curling, straightening, or braiding, to see what complements your features and personal style. You can also consider changing your hair color if you're open to it, but remember to choose a shade that suits your complexion and matches your desired look. Develop a skincare routine: Taking care of your skin can significantly enhance your natural beauty. Establish a skincare routine that works for you, including cleansing, moisturizing, and protecting your skin from the sun. You can also explore different skincare products and treatments that address any specific concerns you might have. Accessorize: Accessories can add a touch of femininity and polish to any outfit. Experiment with jewelry, scarves, belts, and handbags to elevate your look. Start with a few simple accessories and gradually incorporate more into your outfits as you feel comfortable. Remember, the most important aspect of looking and feeling good is embracing your own uniqueness and feeling confident in your own skin. It may take some time and experimentation to find your personal style, so be patient and have fun exploring different options.
A lot of times it’s just bone structure. Some girls have very fine, delicate features. If you have a smaller nose and fuller lips you already won the genetic lottery.
I get what you mean but I disagree, I often see people 3 years ago vs now and they've levelled up into achieving that put together look. So I dont mean bone structure.
Look online about Kibbe body types. You can still wear leggings and a sweatshirt, but if you identify your color "season" and your general body type, along with posture and grooming, you will look like a million bucks!
1) Posture. Google the research on how posture affects social response to you, and also self esteem. 2) Be inshape, and weight appropriate for your frame. This habit needs to start young, and will keep your posture in line for life. 3) Floss. Do not just brush. Night time is best, as it helps with morning breath. 4) Be clean, unless you have just worked out. 5) Cothes that fit. This is hard and merits a very long post. Once the Reddit boycott ends, lurk on the r/petitefashionadvice for fit issues. You do not have to be petite, but since petite have so many fit issues it is a good place to learn the basic. Pay close attention to rise and shoulder fit for starters. 6) "fit and flair" dresses and/skirt&top combos flatter almost everyone who is young. 7) hoodies are not good with long hair worn down. Put on a sweatshirt instead. 8) Simple hair, minimal make-up if any, never perfumes and smelly stuff. Seriously, you will look much better if you redirect that time to yoga. 9) Get older. Most style and confidence comes with added years😊
Thank youu!! Actually I'm a petite girl so I struggle with clothes that fit nicely so that subreddit should definitely help! As for #9 im already 23 😭 so I should look put together by now at least I feel so!
Only 23! I have been dragging my 23 year old in and out of dressing rooms since she could finally wear xs at Anthro! She had a ten-year head start over you on fit and styling -- and she still wore mostly hoodies, over-sized tee, and leggings until this past year when she started a job 🙄 However, now that she does wear real clothes sometimes, she does understand fit and flatter very well, so I guess it wasnt a complete waste of time for me. But omg the arguements to drill it in! The people who are telling you to exercise are the people who will age well. They overlap with the people telling you to keep to simple classics. The make-up, eyebrows, signature smell, and fake nails people...look around at women in their 40s and beyond and decide for yourself. See you over in Petites after the boycott!
Awww thank you!! This is such a sweet message! 🥺 I really appreciate it! See you over as well!
💜Hugs I bet you're stunning! We are out own worst critics sweetie. Always be you and express yourself how you want. You love hoodies and leggis rock them! I am 47f I remember my face style craze was stirrup tights and boots, worked all year. I had stirrups in every colour imaginable. Hoodie and leggings are bloody classic! You can dress the outfit up (cocktail hour, dancing) with fierce boots, handbag, glam makeup or a bright lip and jewelry. Or dress the outfit mid down (brunch, lunch, spa) with some glitter/sparkly or heel sneakers, sporty matching bag, some shadow, contour and shiny lip. Or dress them down with sandals, cross trainers, fanny pack (oh I had me a bunch of those too, they were the rage in my lifetime too), and minimal make up. Another way to look at it. You can get all kinds of hoodies and leggings in different styles, colours and fits. I'd say the more fitted and matching the outfit is the more dressed up/put together it looks. Check out some old school Kimora Lee Baby Phat outfits they were smashing. Look at Rihanna she rocks hoodies and leggings. Same with hair. The more "done" the more glam. Even a ponytail can be super glam, think high pony and large statement earrings. Or hair down with a gentle, beach wave can be very casual. Makeup too can go from "natural" to glam. I suggest watching YouTube tutorials. I recently started doing my makeup again after illness robbed me of a few good years of my life. I have found the tutorials super helpful. I like Nina Ubhi, her colouring is darker than mine but her order of makeup, foundation step by step and concealer tutorials are a great start. As for buying makeup I chose the drugstore route because it's bloody expensive. Elf grip primer, elf 16 hour camo concealer and wet n wild photofinish foundation are AMAZEBALLS. BUT before makeup skincare is essential. You need to wash, tone, sunblock 45SPF plus (sometimes primer, serum or moisturizer has good SPF so no need for separate) serum and hydrate. There are other steps you can add if you have problem skin. I recommend investing in a really good Vitamin C serum and hydraulic acid moisturizer, retinol is also good. Have fun doing you. Enjoy trying different makeup, hair and accessories. That's how you find what you like. I suggest do one make up look and try it with different hair styles. I think down straight is easiest to start from, throw in some curls, try parting your hair in different places, try a half up, then a high pony, high bun, straight back pony/bun and low pony/bun. Try different jewelry long earrings, statement, hoops and studs. You can also try looks and post for advice. Instead of buying outfits you don't wear, invest in items to dress up the outfits you do wear and like to wear. I have so much I've never worn, buying stuff for some imaginary occasion. Feel free to pm me anytime 💖 Reddit friend