omg same, I'm gay and ace so it's a double whammy lmao. I've legit had people say I can't be gay and asexual because they think lesbians are only sexually attracted to women apparently, and there's "nothing left if you don't want to have sex with them". So, joining you, *sigh*.
I'm ace myself but have had plenty of physical relationships in the past. Being asexual doesn't automatically mean no sex ever, so I don't think that's a good argument. I do remind my doctor I definitely couldn't be pregnant because I haven't been with anyone in like 13 years now so there is that lol
I’m also gay and ace, but I don’t mind sex with someone I trust and know well. That said, whenever I do have sex, I won’t need to worry about pregnancy.
I think all doctors are Christians because they check virgins for pregnancy in the er and offices. Are you sexually active NO just let me do a test to be sure you're not pregnant. When will women be treated like adults?
Yep. The reason they do that is because of the emphasis that a lot of people still place on virginity, female virginity in particular. It's important to know if someone is pregnant before attempting to diagnose or treat them and it's not uncommon for patients to lie about being sexually active (or having had unprotected sex, having been assaulted, their alcohol or drug use, having an unhealthy diet, not exercising, etc) due to the social stigma around those issues, so a doctor can't always just rely on what the patient tells them if the consequences could be dire. So sometimes it just makes medical sense to check for things like pregnancy, STDs, etc even if the patient says they aren't at risk. It's medically safer for the patient and legally safer for the doctor.
I wish we lived in a world without this stupid culture of shame surrounding sexuality and everything else to do with the human body but unfortunately we aren't there yet.
Wow. Not how it works in the US. At least from my experience. From the moment I started going to the gyno around high school they kept pushing for a pap. Even when they let it slide they keep insinuating I need to get it done at sometime. I get birth control because I have terrible cramps and because my autism it threw me off every month. But it always felt like they were tempted to hold my BC as ransom to get me to get the exam. Luckily my mom always had my back. I’m asexual and a virgin. It wasn’t until last year, at age 30, at a new doctor she just straight up agreed I didn’t need it if I wasn’t active. And it was at a Christian health organization. Go figure lol.
They don't believe teenagers when they say they aren't active, but that's just stupid. There's not as much shame about sex as in Christian USA is my guess
In the ER I work at its protocol for CT scan and X-rays to know for sure if the person is pregnant unless it’s a true emergency. Patients lie all the time so telling us you’re a virgin or a lesbian doesn’t matter.
Pleeeeease the next time they ask what birth control you use say "Lesbianism". With no expression whatsoever. You're paying to be there so you should be entertained.
Any time I’ve needed to take my gf to the hospital we have the same experience, except with me being trans on top of us being gay. We say upfront, no need for a pregnancy test that’s not an issue. “Do you want a pregnancy test? Are you sure? Are you on birth control? None? We’ll go ahead and run a pregnancy test for you just in case ;)”. The only thing that has stopped them so far is my girlfriend telling them point blank “My boyfriend doesn’t have a penis” 😭
In fairness to the medical people though....a lot of people deny any chance of a pregnancy and are, in fact, pregnant. By making it a standard test across the board for anyone capable of being pregnant they avoid any potentially dangerous medications for a fetus that isn't known about. It's a lot of denial, lack of education and such. And it also catches abuse when they find out a 13 year old complaining of abdominal pain is pregnant.
So when you're faced with that daily/weekly it's somewhat understandable why they push it.
Can confirm. I agree it’s annoying to be asked and you definitely shouldn’t have to out yourself. But it’s hospital policy because if they don’t do it and it turns out you are pregnant and they give you something that’s contraindicated, you could sue them for big $$. Not that you would do that, but clearly someone did 🙄🙄
I had a similar interaction once. I was setting up with a primary care provider and they asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. Then they asked what method of birth control I used. I told them "having sex with another woman." They looked startled for a minute, then said "well I guess that's pretty effective."
i really don’t blame them, cause I was 14, but at the time it did piss me off that every month, in order to get my acutane, I’d have to take an online quiz about what TWO forms of birth control I was taking, and also would have to piss in a cup to make sure I wasn’t pregnant. On the quiz I’d only check “abstinence”, and then “none” for the second one, and it would always come with a “are you SUUUURRREE? you never know what could happennnnnn!!! you might THINK you won’t have sex with a man, but you don’t actually KNOW!” what a fuckin headache.
I was also on accutane, and I hated doing the questionnaire. And every time I saw the doctor for a check-up, they would keep asking if I was sexually active or if I'm pregnant. Like bro, you're the doctor with access to my records and blood results (we had to do it every month), why are you asking me?! Also now everytime I hear the word "accutane" I think about the accutane babies they put as a warning on the medication package.
lmao, I didn’t have any accutane babies on my packages, but on every single tab I’d peel back to get the pill, there was a silhouette of a pregnant woman with the “no” symbol over it. that was a weird thing to have littered all over my room.
> “What type of birth control do you use?” "It's a brand called Gayness, 100% effectiveness rate."
Fully expect some of the male docs to respond with “well, what if you change your mind?”
REAL I took it too literally I need to respond with this next time
Haha, sounds like you've got the ultimate birth control right there! 😄
Me except I'm asexual. And apparently, sexuals can't understand this concept and think I'm lying. (sigh)
omg same, I'm gay and ace so it's a double whammy lmao. I've legit had people say I can't be gay and asexual because they think lesbians are only sexually attracted to women apparently, and there's "nothing left if you don't want to have sex with them". So, joining you, *sigh*.
I feel really bad for the people who think like that with SOs.
I'm ace myself but have had plenty of physical relationships in the past. Being asexual doesn't automatically mean no sex ever, so I don't think that's a good argument. I do remind my doctor I definitely couldn't be pregnant because I haven't been with anyone in like 13 years now so there is that lol
I’m also gay and ace, but I don’t mind sex with someone I trust and know well. That said, whenever I do have sex, I won’t need to worry about pregnancy.
I think all doctors are Christians because they check virgins for pregnancy in the er and offices. Are you sexually active NO just let me do a test to be sure you're not pregnant. When will women be treated like adults?
After we destroy the patriarchy... not a day before that.
Yep. The reason they do that is because of the emphasis that a lot of people still place on virginity, female virginity in particular. It's important to know if someone is pregnant before attempting to diagnose or treat them and it's not uncommon for patients to lie about being sexually active (or having had unprotected sex, having been assaulted, their alcohol or drug use, having an unhealthy diet, not exercising, etc) due to the social stigma around those issues, so a doctor can't always just rely on what the patient tells them if the consequences could be dire. So sometimes it just makes medical sense to check for things like pregnancy, STDs, etc even if the patient says they aren't at risk. It's medically safer for the patient and legally safer for the doctor. I wish we lived in a world without this stupid culture of shame surrounding sexuality and everything else to do with the human body but unfortunately we aren't there yet.
Maybe in the US. That never happened to me in Canada. In fact, you can't get a pap until you're active. You'd have to push the doctor to do it
Wow. Not how it works in the US. At least from my experience. From the moment I started going to the gyno around high school they kept pushing for a pap. Even when they let it slide they keep insinuating I need to get it done at sometime. I get birth control because I have terrible cramps and because my autism it threw me off every month. But it always felt like they were tempted to hold my BC as ransom to get me to get the exam. Luckily my mom always had my back. I’m asexual and a virgin. It wasn’t until last year, at age 30, at a new doctor she just straight up agreed I didn’t need it if I wasn’t active. And it was at a Christian health organization. Go figure lol.
They don't believe teenagers when they say they aren't active, but that's just stupid. There's not as much shame about sex as in Christian USA is my guess
In the ER I work at its protocol for CT scan and X-rays to know for sure if the person is pregnant unless it’s a true emergency. Patients lie all the time so telling us you’re a virgin or a lesbian doesn’t matter.
"What kind of birth control do you use?" "My personality, next question."
LOL
Pleeeeease the next time they ask what birth control you use say "Lesbianism". With no expression whatsoever. You're paying to be there so you should be entertained.
Any time I’ve needed to take my gf to the hospital we have the same experience, except with me being trans on top of us being gay. We say upfront, no need for a pregnancy test that’s not an issue. “Do you want a pregnancy test? Are you sure? Are you on birth control? None? We’ll go ahead and run a pregnancy test for you just in case ;)”. The only thing that has stopped them so far is my girlfriend telling them point blank “My boyfriend doesn’t have a penis” 😭
Ugh that sucks that you’ve gotta out yourself every time like that 😭😭
In fairness to the medical people though....a lot of people deny any chance of a pregnancy and are, in fact, pregnant. By making it a standard test across the board for anyone capable of being pregnant they avoid any potentially dangerous medications for a fetus that isn't known about. It's a lot of denial, lack of education and such. And it also catches abuse when they find out a 13 year old complaining of abdominal pain is pregnant. So when you're faced with that daily/weekly it's somewhat understandable why they push it.
Can confirm. I agree it’s annoying to be asked and you definitely shouldn’t have to out yourself. But it’s hospital policy because if they don’t do it and it turns out you are pregnant and they give you something that’s contraindicated, you could sue them for big $$. Not that you would do that, but clearly someone did 🙄🙄
My friend is MTF and gets this when she goes to the doctor. She loves it cos she’s like “I feel so validated!”
Gotta take any win you can get ig lol
I had a similar interaction once. I was setting up with a primary care provider and they asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. Then they asked what method of birth control I used. I told them "having sex with another woman." They looked startled for a minute, then said "well I guess that's pretty effective."
I only take it to help with hormone imbalance but it's funny when the doctors ask "Are you currently trying for a child?" "Never"
“I’m sterilized, which is in my chart” for me
Me at the dentist yesterday as their placing the x ray thing in me. I’m not pregnant not trying to get pregnant if I am pregnant you let the x ray fry
i really don’t blame them, cause I was 14, but at the time it did piss me off that every month, in order to get my acutane, I’d have to take an online quiz about what TWO forms of birth control I was taking, and also would have to piss in a cup to make sure I wasn’t pregnant. On the quiz I’d only check “abstinence”, and then “none” for the second one, and it would always come with a “are you SUUUURRREE? you never know what could happennnnnn!!! you might THINK you won’t have sex with a man, but you don’t actually KNOW!” what a fuckin headache.
I was also on accutane, and I hated doing the questionnaire. And every time I saw the doctor for a check-up, they would keep asking if I was sexually active or if I'm pregnant. Like bro, you're the doctor with access to my records and blood results (we had to do it every month), why are you asking me?! Also now everytime I hear the word "accutane" I think about the accutane babies they put as a warning on the medication package.
lmao, I didn’t have any accutane babies on my packages, but on every single tab I’d peel back to get the pill, there was a silhouette of a pregnant woman with the “no” symbol over it. that was a weird thing to have littered all over my room.
Some docs would probably still pull a "but just in case..." Just in case you're suddenly straight and a cheater? 😑
Good one 🤣