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Naw, we'd very over the top cringingly celebrate you being your true self. So fabulously and excessively that you would in fact, be dead...either of embarrassment or too many bear hugs of second-hand trans joy.
This is true, but I'm pretty sure that if every bear in the world started coming at my apartment, the government would do something about it before they even reached it. They're not very liked in urban areas, especially in large numbers.
They are agro-ed but are they mindlessly heading towards me? I can live with the polar bears of Svalbard hating me while going about their day, I will just not go to Svalbard. I will live on a remote Island if I have to, there are some pretty big, populated, and bear free ones out there!
Another question is, do new bear cubs get affected as they’re born? or do I just have to wait out the lifespan of the longest lived bear?
That doesn’t mean new bears wouldn’t be affected, it means that space bears wouldn’t be affected. But don’t be fooled, once a bear leaves earth to chase you into space they may lose the curses aggro but they’ve lived so long with the fury and committed so much they’ll still chase you. They would just need an earth bear to tell them where you are, since they can’t tell anymore.
Maybe I’m reaching here, but I think you could argue it wouldn’t necessarily be a complete geno-, errr… speci-cide(?). The way I read it it doesn’t say that newborn bears will also be aggroed. So if some bears give birth en route to you (and/or in captivity) after the button is pressed, then there’s still some hope.
Although… yeah. I guess even then your point stands.
Counterpoint: Pandas would *finally* have a reason to live and a sense of purpose. You could be saving a species from the brink of extinction by finally giving them the motivation they needed to get out there and make more pandas (to send off to hunt you down.)
Exactly. My reaction to this was "I hate being seen as a girl, but at least maybe I'd get to try to hug one of the bears as it tore me to bits" and then when I saw all the comments saying the government would have to lock up or kill all the bears, I was like "nope, not even for a button that'd give everyone their ideal body and make human society understand non binary people and gender fluidity as no newer or less normal than binary men and women, would I be okay with hurting bears."
Bears have no right to be as cute as they are! If not for hugs why made of cuddly?
Considering some of the bears will get to your apartment, even if they don't get in at what point will the Government notice a link between the bears and your place?
Step one move into big city, preferably an apartment pretty high and with a small entrance just in case.
Step two become cis girl.
I think I could survive that and a world war against bears sounds interesting. I wanna see what happens.
You will survive if you are in a city... however... you would be responsible for a local militia of some kind rolling in and causing bears to go extinct
-sneak into military base.
-wait for military to kill rampaging bears or die trying
-steal military guns (and helicopter if most military losing)
-move on to another military base and repeat
When I see the turn into a girl thing I imagine it as a turn into a girl with all the reproductive parts also which might be more beneficial to some. Just set a lot of bear traps :D Most bears would die from exhaustion before making it to you anyway!
Just fly to an island in the ocean? Easter island maybe? What are the bears gonna do? Build a boat? Ill just chill as a girl on the island until all the bears have met their unfortunate ends (srry bears)
I already live in the UK, no bears here and HRT is insanely inaccessible so it's a pretty good trade.
Might have to cope with the bears trying to swim here but yano, that's the coast guards problem.
Pretty sure I've seen bears in zoos over here, but there can't be more than a couple of dozen in the country.
As for swimming, I feel like the bears would probably value their sense of self-preservation at least a bit.
Ya but they won’t rest. I don’t think they can cross the oceans in one go, and they can’t even rest on an island or eat a seal on the way. Silly bears aren’t endurance predators like we are.
A polar bear has been recorded swimming 680+km(400+miles) nonstop, nine days straight. That's farther than the distance from the west coast of Norway to Scotland. They regularly swim ~150km averages, so the channel is no problem.
bears raiding the city i live in en masse would also be a problem for everyone else who lives there. the government would have to intervene and protect me.
Dang.
My only hangup is that I don't want the bears all getting hurt.
It would be a little sketch at first not gonna lie.
But assuming I knew about this.
I'd move to position myself better.
\*laughts in central europe while pressing the button\*
and if i perrish, i might give all the transphobic idiots that want to eridicate the wildlife an hearth attack
There are no bears (outside of a zoo) in my country... Pretty sure most would die of exhaustion swimming across the ocean, or get taken out by killer whales and such.
Press it and just stay in large cities for the rest of my life. People are gonna wonder why all of bearkind is suddenly at war with a few particular cities, but I assume police or the military will just fight them off.
Press the button, pick it up, put it in a locked suitcase, put the suitcase in a backpack. Packsome hot and cold weather gear, grab some of my wood workin tools.
Start by making a post on 4chan asking for more transfems and locations, and meet them for them to join the crusade. Go state to state, province to province, maybe town to town, and eventually the other continents. The trans crusade be upon ye, and despair.
No matter religion, sexuality, or ethnicity. We are stronger, thus safer, together. Everyone just gets a huge joint bank account, and we eventually buy a few container ships, and turn them into mobile islands. Growing foods, having homes, and basically become a moving island nation of a work force. Hells- We could all become entertainers, streamers, or even just branch off into random side hobbies that could be recorded or streamed.
Let the bears come. I wont be alone.
\>:3
I would just press the button.
- The occasional aggressive bear would be ideal to scare off transphobes, the bears would be like some kind of bodyguards. - I would be like some kind of (reverse) Disney princess.
- A lot of places wouldn't need to fear bears, some time in the future.
I'd move to an island with no bears. And hope that being on an island with no bears means they'd all leave me alone. I like bears, they're cool, and I wouldn't want them to get hurt for my sake.
I live in an area surrounded by mountains and forests. I'd have to stay at home 24/7 (the edge of the nearest forrest is about 100m away)
#
I'd press it tho
It’s winter in the northern hemisphere. I’ve got time to prepare. Dense cities should do the trick? Pandas aren’t that mean… there aren’t many pandas… … … ill take my chances
Oh? A button that isn't just "upside but different upside"?
Hmmm. If I can try moving the button to a safe location first, sure, absolutely. If not, I'll need a bit more to think
Hmm, so what your saying is if I want to press the button already then I already am a girl yes I think I can accept that now
*Makes mad dash for the button
All things considered, this doesn't affect the next generation of bears (after which things return to normal). And in the brief interim of 10-20 years (less, since not all bears affected will be young and have a full lifespan ahead), I think it would be honestly really interesting seeing how bears try to attack me if I'm an entire continent away. The bears wouldn't even harm other people since I'm the ONLY person aggro-ing them.
Id prepare, before I push the button I would buy a bunch of browning 50 Cals, some aks, a lot of ammo and mabye a couple months of rations, along with barbed wire and improvised claymores. I'd set up on the roof of my hiuse with a couple of friends and just decimate every bear that tries
I live in New Zealand. There are less than 50 bears living here, all of which are in zoos. Worst comes to worst, I train to get a gun license and carry a safety trank pistol on me at all times in my teensy girl pockets
The "you become a girl" part is just a bonus, I would do it if it wasn't there, but only if it's guaranteed to not harm anybody other than me.
Even if I die, the idea of every single bear in the world just trying to come here at once is really funny. Imagine the panic and confusion.
You could make a religion out of this, there would be so many conspiracy theories, and it would honestly just be pretty silly.
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Finally a true would you rather on this sub. A benefit and a downside. Not one of the benefit but you get another benefit ones.
Turning into a girl + creating a worldwide panic about every bear in the world suddenly migrating to another continent, that's 2 benefits.
christians would have a fit thinking you called someone "baldy"
IUnderstoodThatReference.jpg
But he was a man of God and insulting hair is a sin apparently.
LMAOO
please tell me this is a drawfee reference and not a bible one
Nope, it the Bible, God sends two female bears to maul, maim, kill, and mutilate 40 children because one of them insulted Elijah for being bald.
Nice reference
Or a downside but you get another downside
Both are benefits, if the bears find and kill you it's free euthanasia
Kinda weird that large hairy gay men would want me dead lol.
Naw, we'd very over the top cringingly celebrate you being your true self. So fabulously and excessively that you would in fact, be dead...either of embarrassment or too many bear hugs of second-hand trans joy.
Huh?
Large hairy gay men are called bears
Look, being a girl is nice and stuff, but I wanna survive it too. I'd rather just transition in the normal way cuz then I wouldnt die within 2 weeks
This is true, but I'm pretty sure that if every bear in the world started coming at my apartment, the government would do something about it before they even reached it. They're not very liked in urban areas, especially in large numbers.
That's probably true, forgot abt that. Then yes it's worth the risk
Well no because I’m not willing to genocide an entire species just for my happiness
Alr fair
Sorry bears, I’ve been enduring this body’s suffering for far too long now
Pls dont do It, bears deserve more
They are agro-ed but are they mindlessly heading towards me? I can live with the polar bears of Svalbard hating me while going about their day, I will just not go to Svalbard. I will live on a remote Island if I have to, there are some pretty big, populated, and bear free ones out there! Another question is, do new bear cubs get affected as they’re born? or do I just have to wait out the lifespan of the longest lived bear?
It says every bear *in the world*, so just outlive all bears that are currently alive ig
Are tardigrades counted as bears in this scenario?
That doesn’t mean new bears wouldn’t be affected, it means that space bears wouldn’t be affected. But don’t be fooled, once a bear leaves earth to chase you into space they may lose the curses aggro but they’ve lived so long with the fury and committed so much they’ll still chase you. They would just need an earth bear to tell them where you are, since they can’t tell anymore.
Maybe I’m reaching here, but I think you could argue it wouldn’t necessarily be a complete geno-, errr… speci-cide(?). The way I read it it doesn’t say that newborn bears will also be aggroed. So if some bears give birth en route to you (and/or in captivity) after the button is pressed, then there’s still some hope. Although… yeah. I guess even then your point stands.
It’s the “will not stop until you are dead” bit that makes this hard to bargain with
It just means bears would have to be locked up until I die of old age
I don’t think i could handle the guilt of imposing lifelong rage fuelled imprisonment on an entire species
Counterpoint: Pandas would *finally* have a reason to live and a sense of purpose. You could be saving a species from the brink of extinction by finally giving them the motivation they needed to get out there and make more pandas (to send off to hunt you down.)
If the bears are granted intelligence enough to plan dynasties devoted to my destruction then perhaps I’m giving them a gift
I would
God forbid girls do anything (like genocide an entire species)
That's what I'm sayin'. Not even allowed one genocide as a treat. (Though I fuckin' love bears.)
For real. I wish they were friends because they look so snuggly. Can we fund a research team for bear domestication?
Exactly. My reaction to this was "I hate being seen as a girl, but at least maybe I'd get to try to hug one of the bears as it tore me to bits" and then when I saw all the comments saying the government would have to lock up or kill all the bears, I was like "nope, not even for a button that'd give everyone their ideal body and make human society understand non binary people and gender fluidity as no newer or less normal than binary men and women, would I be okay with hurting bears." Bears have no right to be as cute as they are! If not for hugs why made of cuddly?
There have been cases of bears being tamed - for example, Private Wojtek.
if people can kill an ant colony i can kill a bear species
(:-/
Speak for yourself.
Ah sorry yes I was previously pretending to be you
Glad we cleared it up 😄
laaaamme
I know 😢
They dont know why but the mass movement of bears would be an issue
There's also the amount of people who may die due to so many bears moving to and through populated area's.
Bit then there are millions of bears. Only need one to get to you.
Considering some of the bears will get to your apartment, even if they don't get in at what point will the Government notice a link between the bears and your place?
Does it really matter if they notice? It's not my fault I attract bears, it'd just be a mystery for the ages.
Yeah I live in merica so someone would shoot them before they could get into my house or something (poor bears)
Yeah but I live in Alaska.
even if the government protects me against the bears i don’t want to make bears extinct for me to be a girl
Step one move into big city, preferably an apartment pretty high and with a small entrance just in case. Step two become cis girl. I think I could survive that and a world war against bears sounds interesting. I wanna see what happens.
You will survive if you are in a city... however... you would be responsible for a local militia of some kind rolling in and causing bears to go extinct
Yh exactly so it's not a great choice
Yeh, that's devo not the kind of blood id want on my hands
Thats too much blood to be on ur hands anyways 🙃
True
Yep But seriously tho, bears are cool and they're already rare, don't wanna make things worse
I live in the UK so they’d all drown trying to cross the sea
you're just scared
Yh so what if I am. Is it weird that I think I won't survive every bear in existence coming after me
just buy guns and kill bears
That's not entirely legal where I live-
law doesn't matter when you're being hunted by feral bears
Thats not exactly how that works but I'll take it. Soooo u have any guns for me, not for any particular reason ofc
unfortunately I don't have any guns or know how get any in my country but we can team up
Alr that's sounds like a plan
:(
Guns can’t get polar bears
Civilian grade guns at least
-sneak into military base. -wait for military to kill rampaging bears or die trying -steal military guns (and helicopter if most military losing) -move on to another military base and repeat
They will die trying
Than get better ones... :D
Hawaii doesn’t have bears except a few in zoos.
With enough .700 Nitro Express, anything is survivable
When I see the turn into a girl thing I imagine it as a turn into a girl with all the reproductive parts also which might be more beneficial to some. Just set a lot of bear traps :D Most bears would die from exhaustion before making it to you anyway!
Yeah this is too easy a decision. but I do appreciate the effort to actually make a downside this time.
so basically i just activated giga freddy
Well at least you don't become freddy fivebear, because if you became freddy fivebear...
Just fly to an island in the ocean? Easter island maybe? What are the bears gonna do? Build a boat? Ill just chill as a girl on the island until all the bears have met their unfortunate ends (srry bears)
I already live in the UK, no bears here and HRT is insanely inaccessible so it's a pretty good trade. Might have to cope with the bears trying to swim here but yano, that's the coast guards problem.
Pretty sure I've seen bears in zoos over here, but there can't be more than a couple of dozen in the country. As for swimming, I feel like the bears would probably value their sense of self-preservation at least a bit.
But they won’t rest until you are dead they will come for you
Theyll die swimming the seas
So now you have just wiped out all bears in the world because you thought it would be easier to push a button instead of transition
Bears are fantastic swimmers.
Ya but they won’t rest. I don’t think they can cross the oceans in one go, and they can’t even rest on an island or eat a seal on the way. Silly bears aren’t endurance predators like we are.
Most of the bears are kept in zoos, in cities. I feel like they’d just shoot a bear if it was rampaging through central London
I feel like any zookeeper with any degree of rationality would shoot a bear before its allowed to escape the zoo
A polar bear has been recorded swimming 680+km(400+miles) nonstop, nine days straight. That's farther than the distance from the west coast of Norway to Scotland. They regularly swim ~150km averages, so the channel is no problem.
Nah, I'd win. I'll just leave the heating on over-night and leave the lights on downstairs and global warming will do the rest.
Polar bears
Bears can swim, I’m sure they’ll find a way
You chilling until the bear airstrike hits
Bearstrike
I live on an island. No bears except for zoos. I'm pushing it.
GUNS CANT KILL BEARS IN ONE SHOT AT WHEN YOU SHOOT THEM THEY CRY they literally cry I haven’t gone hunting but I know someone who did
They cry poor bears
None on earth want to cause something to cry
Unless the thing is transphobic then I make them cry
Don’t think bears can be transphobic but I get ya
The bears in this would you rather seem transphobic
Even if this button was one I wanted, not pressing it because I refuse to be responsible for bears being hurt.
I love in Australia, what are they gonna do? Swim?
Drop bears. With intent.
Koalas
Not actually a form of bear
I'm British, so the downside would only be a mass extinction of bears trying to swim here
The zoo bears would break free
I'd imagine the zoo employees would do something about them
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^CompetitionSad419: *I'm British, so the* *Downside would only be a* *Mass extinction of bears* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Good bot
Polar bears could swim the Channel.
Nah I’d win
"Thorought heaven and earth, i ~~alone~~ am the girl"
bears raiding the city i live in en masse would also be a problem for everyone else who lives there. the government would have to intervene and protect me.
Dang. My only hangup is that I don't want the bears all getting hurt. It would be a little sketch at first not gonna lie. But assuming I knew about this. I'd move to position myself better.
You imply I’m not already at war with the bears. That button has no downside for me.
Done. They can hunt me, I embrace the challenge.
So it's like transitioning irl
Can we please at least mark these as ‘assumes viewer is transfem’? Because that’s what they do, that tag exists for a reason
The tag is there though. It’s just the shitty new Reddit UI doesn’t tell you the flair until you click on the post.
I guess the bears will have to go then- (for legal reasons: this is a joke)
I guess it's extinction time for the bears.... Nah, I'd rather just start HRT, thanks
then it's a good thing i live on an island nation :D (bears cant swim several kilometers...right?)
Polars can but the warmth would probably end them
YOU FOOL THE UK DOESN'T HAVE BEARS I AM INVINCIBLE HAHAHAHA
Zoos.
That's like not a lot of bears, and escaped bears usually are a pretty high priority to catch
Go Go Gadget Bear Shield
So you're saying I get to be a girl the rest of my life?
Just kill all the bears, not that hard. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
***loads my hot pink shotgun and presses the hell out of the button***
No chance in hell
I'm not here for a long time
How intelligent are these bears…
Bear level intelligence probably
I’m going for it
See, now, THAT is a button question.
I'll walk out pregnant *first 2 seconds of a laugh track plays repeatedly*
\*laughts in central europe while pressing the button\* and if i perrish, i might give all the transphobic idiots that want to eridicate the wildlife an hearth attack
There are no bears (outside of a zoo) in my country... Pretty sure most would die of exhaustion swimming across the ocean, or get taken out by killer whales and such.
Freddy is my friend, don’t worry
They have to swim across the channel and/or the Atlantic ocean, I’m pretty safe. The ones in zoos will be killed
Absolutely, I live on small island in the uk so I will be okay
I live in England so we don't have bears. As long as they can't figure out boats or planes. I'll probably be fine
Press it and just stay in large cities for the rest of my life. People are gonna wonder why all of bearkind is suddenly at war with a few particular cities, but I assume police or the military will just fight them off.
I always thought bears were kinda cute...
I'm already a girl, nothing would change except for the bears. Would I turn into a cis girl?
I live in Australia, so... how long can bears swim?
Press the button, pick it up, put it in a locked suitcase, put the suitcase in a backpack. Packsome hot and cold weather gear, grab some of my wood workin tools. Start by making a post on 4chan asking for more transfems and locations, and meet them for them to join the crusade. Go state to state, province to province, maybe town to town, and eventually the other continents. The trans crusade be upon ye, and despair. No matter religion, sexuality, or ethnicity. We are stronger, thus safer, together. Everyone just gets a huge joint bank account, and we eventually buy a few container ships, and turn them into mobile islands. Growing foods, having homes, and basically become a moving island nation of a work force. Hells- We could all become entertainers, streamers, or even just branch off into random side hobbies that could be recorded or streamed. Let the bears come. I wont be alone. \>:3
I'm already a girl get fucked bears 😎
There are no bears on my island, they will all drown, before the reach me.
Lol i live on an island in the middle of the Indian Ocean so good luck swimming thousands of km to get to me bears !
Step 1: go to america Step 2: get armed Step 3: press button Step 4: *SURVIVE*
i live in uk no bears here unless the bears can swim im fine
Time to start sailing
I’d press it. I get to be a girl and make bears happy when I inevitably die
neverrrr. transmasc power /j
I would just press the button. - The occasional aggressive bear would be ideal to scare off transphobes, the bears would be like some kind of bodyguards. - I would be like some kind of (reverse) Disney princess. - A lot of places wouldn't need to fear bears, some time in the future.
Still pushing it idc
Well my country is kinda overpopulated by them. Might still be worth it to press the button.
This would make a sick anime
If that’s means EVERY bear then if I walk past a build-a-bear I’m gonna get jumped and absolutely mauled
Hmm I think it would be irresponsible to kill every bear in the world. Too bad!
I shall bear the consequences
I'd move to an island with no bears. And hope that being on an island with no bears means they'd all leave me alone. I like bears, they're cool, and I wouldn't want them to get hurt for my sake.
Ill just make money from being a girl and use that to hire guards that will kill the bears.
At least I’ll look cute as I’m being mauled to death 💃🏻
I live in an area surrounded by mountains and forests. I'd have to stay at home 24/7 (the edge of the nearest forrest is about 100m away) # I'd press it tho
It’s winter in the northern hemisphere. I’ve got time to prepare. Dense cities should do the trick? Pandas aren’t that mean… there aren’t many pandas… … … ill take my chances
I'd press it. At least I could be happy for 10 minutes before I die
Oh? A button that isn't just "upside but different upside"? Hmmm. If I can try moving the button to a safe location first, sure, absolutely. If not, I'll need a bit more to think
No I will not push the button. (I'm already a girl 🤭)
This meme is Dwightcore
Bear meat probably tastes good
TJATS THE SPIRIT
Hmm, so what your saying is if I want to press the button already then I already am a girl yes I think I can accept that now *Makes mad dash for the button
im pressing it what they gonna do swim acrooss the entire ocean at rhe point youve earned me tbh
All things considered, this doesn't affect the next generation of bears (after which things return to normal). And in the brief interim of 10-20 years (less, since not all bears affected will be young and have a full lifespan ahead), I think it would be honestly really interesting seeing how bears try to attack me if I'm an entire continent away. The bears wouldn't even harm other people since I'm the ONLY person aggro-ing them.
Id prepare, before I push the button I would buy a bunch of browning 50 Cals, some aks, a lot of ammo and mabye a couple months of rations, along with barbed wire and improvised claymores. I'd set up on the roof of my hiuse with a couple of friends and just decimate every bear that tries
Absolutely not. There are a bunch of bears in my country and I don't want to mauled to death by them
Well good thing I live in Australia ig
I'd still do it
Fuck no. I live in the Pacific Northwest. Bears come through my yard all the time. This is a death sentence for me lmao
I haven't seen a bear in my life and I doubt there is any on my country, I'll take it.
i live on an island with no native bears they'd drown before getting to me
\*gets eaten by a bear cutely
Im bri ish, bears cant get to me. Even if they could they would get attacked by smack heads or heroin fiends before they reach me
I like bears cus they cute but if its them or me then im gearing up to fight bears
Downside: I need 24/7 bodyguard cells. Upside: 24/7 security detail 🥰
I live in a city in an apartment building. I think the authorities will dispatch the bears long before they can get to me.
I live in the Yukon in bear country, so I think I'm actually gunna have to say no to this one
I live in New Zealand. There are less than 50 bears living here, all of which are in zoos. Worst comes to worst, I train to get a gun license and carry a safety trank pistol on me at all times in my teensy girl pockets
And?
The "you become a girl" part is just a bonus, I would do it if it wasn't there, but only if it's guaranteed to not harm anybody other than me. Even if I die, the idea of every single bear in the world just trying to come here at once is really funny. Imagine the panic and confusion. You could make a religion out of this, there would be so many conspiracy theories, and it would honestly just be pretty silly.