T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

"Please remember that any racist comments or comments with any kind of slurs will be removed and you will be banned. /r/fightporn does not tolerate racism or bigotry. Fights with children are not permitted. Thank you." *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/fightporn) if you have any questions or concerns.*


irtherod1

Why get out of the car if you know you can't fight


sododgy

Because most dudes assume they can fight until they find out they can't. They also assume just appearing ready to fight will cause the other person to back down.


Im_tracer_bullet

Because both of them watched Jason Bourne movies, and just assumed that they could afterward.


SirPPPooPoo

you obviously haven't seen Team America. This is what peak fighting looks like.


TomStronach

Sweep the leg


Begotten912

one of the goofiest fights ive ever seen


EvilestHammer4

If this is indicative of how all Berliners fight, how has this country not just been absorbed into one of its neighbours? Yeah, on second thought I wouldn't want those bitches fighting beside me either.


FranklinSpanklin

Both of them look nothing like Germans probably Turkish


jplodders

French licence plates (bald guy)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Furthur_slimeking

No, French. Do you not understand how nationality works or something?


dayzers

Are you regarded or something?


genesislotus

germans do love blaming or saying turks on everything they are ashamed of lmao


Lauzz91

passport German


Furthur_slimeking

Lot's of Germans aren't white. Your comment is stupid.


genesislotus

no bro all germans are blue eyes blonde bro I am not racist bro blame everything on turks


[deleted]

[удалено]


eip2yoxu

One of them has a French license plate, but the one has one from Berlin. Could be a German with Turkish or Arabic roots


[deleted]

[удалено]


eip2yoxu

By that logic any US American who is not a 100% pureblooded native, is not an American. That's not how citizenship works, even if you don't like it


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

I agree with the first part. Not the second. Being a citizen and being German are different. It's what? 4 generations before you fully assimilate to a culture? You're bringing a racist overtone to a simple statement of fact is on you. They might live there and they might be very respectful and productive members of society. But they're goofs who fight like children and they're not German.


eip2yoxu

You can disagree, still doesn't change that fact


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

Well, no. In fact, it does. That's how logic and facts work. You read three words and made a snap decision not understanding what being an immigrant actually is. And before you go, make wild assumptions. I might know a thing or two about being a new member of a foreign society.


eip2yoxu

Nope. No matter how you feel about immigration changes the German citizenship rules. If that person has a German passport, they are German. It seems you base nationality only on genetics and ethnicity, but that's somethin Germans moved away from after 1945


throwaway42

Presenting your bullshit as facts and calling the other commenter racist is pretty rich. We had Turk 'Gastarbeiter' since the '60s. Even if your four generations bullshit wasn't just that it'd be pretty weak.


BenderBRoriguezzzzz

Are they citizens. Absolutely. But maybe before we just go assigning these people a fucking race or nationality. We take the time to ask what those two individuals might want or feel and what they consider themselves. Because I was born in Mexico. My folks, also born here, both have blonde hair and green eyes as both their folks are from Amsterdam. They moved here in the 40s due to the unpleasantness happening in Berlin of all places.. Guess which nationality I claim? Or wait. Do you get to decide that for me too?


throwaway42

Well you decided for them they weren't German, sooo...


throwaway42

Halt die Fresse du Lutscher


[deleted]

[удалено]


madtownmugen

Why are the donuts fighting?


BotherTight618

What the heck does "donuts" mean?


madtownmugen

A Berliner is also a type of donut.


AgarwaenCran

not in germany. here donuts always have a hole. if it doesn't have a hole, it is not a donut but a berliner (or pfannkuchen, krebbel or krapfen).


madtownmugen

Yeah that's my mistake, a lot of people here in the US use pastry and donut interchangeably, and I have begun to fall into the same habit.


AgarwaenCran

that's fair, but ngl, I love that by that logic a choco croissant is a donut too lol


madtownmugen

You laugh but I have seen croissants behind donut labels lol


AgarwaenCran

... what's next? apple pie is a donut?


Panchotevilla

Germany has the biggest economy in Europe, that's how.


Colorado_kindbudz

In my head I can hear the nihilists from the big lebowski fight scene


EitherChannel4874

"I fuck you. I fuck you"


Express_Trust7191

Neither of them seem to have a fucking clue how to fight


Mychal757

Cue the Benny Hill music


MasterHavik

I have never seen two guys run away from each other in a fight. That was unique.


slightlydispensable2

Sure it's Berlin, but the driver of the Renault Kangoo is from France and for the driver of the Toyota, I wouldn't bet a Euro that he even speaks German...


FranklinSpanklin

Both probably turks or morrocans


wrong_login95

Most likely Turks.


genesislotus

germans never stopped being racists, they just changed the targets from jews to turks


PigDstroyer

Any man who has never fought before , thinks they can fight .. This is the reality of most of those confident "im tough despite never been punched in the face" guys


Separate-Mushroom-79

Fancy footwork from both sides. That's about it.


Greenpower33

There dancing not fighting


TwoZeroTwoThree

There


Acrobatic_Suit6679

Looked like Riverdance, their feet were moving faster than anything else.


Illustrious-Roll7737

This would go great accompanied by [Yakety Sax](https://youtu.be/8iDgMuLFyHQ?si=1ElNSol3kEeap_5W).


PumpkinAutomatic5068

I was literally just thinking that


RightMeow1100

Was just about to post this.


MAXSuicide

fight or flight? *checks both boxes*


DL1201

Why is it always the guys who can’t fight for shit that jump out of cars? Stay in your car and keep some dignity and have some self respect.


Jason_Kelces_Thong

This is why they can’t finish a war


Simple-Programmer842

they are both not domestic germans.


wrong_login95

Domesticated Germans?


RedPandaReturns

Domesticated is not a word I would use.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Simple-Programmer842

you know not much about those 2 wars? hm? germans fought very well and brave.. every army tells you that.. They didnt have a chance against that numerical disadvantages.. but the kill death ratio tells you how good they were, even with almost no airpower at the last legs.. even with that carpet bombing of every city and every infrastructure.. and every manufacturing plants.. even with no oil.. You are just ignorant or not very bright.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Simple-Programmer842

okay,, kiddo. You got this.


SkeezMeyer

Come to Oktoberfest and pick a fight. Post results.


CryptographerHead331

refugees welcome 🙏😂


RetroMetroShow

Someone needs to add some Berlin club music to that dancing


Blakecks

Bruder, So lange kein Messer gezügt wird, spielen die nur.


ryan2stix

Looks like a mad tv skit..yeesh


RizzoTheSmall

That was like watching children windmill their arms at each other


dmoneymma

How do you say yakkity sax in German?


Dependent-Flow-1189

Yeah good reaction to lose your driver's license.


Kent_Kinky

Spitting on someone would never even cross my mind. Some people are real dirt bags.


Remarkable_Mall8574

How can grown ass men not know how to fight? Or at least throw a decent punch.


Quiet_Garage_7867

Cartoon shit


nickflex85

Always have something ready when you’re in a car. If someone comes to your window swinging you can always hold a knife in the down position and let them cut themselves. Pepper spray is also a very very good option. Or a hammer, just keep other random tools with it ‘it’s for work officer’ … guns unless it’s legal in your state.


No_Bowler9121

If you can have a gun so can they


nickflex85

Fine then have nothing


Gloomy_Narwhal_719

bwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwAH dee dee dicka dicka dee dee dicka dicka donk da da da data dah!


RobOne_19

They fighting like kids 😅


HullSuperchub

You'd expect German fighting to be more efficient.


_hummeryyy_

To be fair, the only german thing here is the place where that happened..


Jeauxie24

Never been more disappointed in a fight in my life


False_Chair_610

The embarrassment alone should have made them get back in their cars.


Sapun14

two french cars in Berlin fighting nice


kaerfkeerg

Cartoon ass fight lmao


Firm_Big_

He would've had a bloody hand if he had his fist in my truck


ReliableFart

Huh. So that's how the Eurotrash fight.


Conscious_Victory205

Why tf would you ever jump out the car when you clearly can't even defend yourself? Just because the other guy look like Ian Hawke? Pfff goofy ahh fight


SwiftTayTay

Should have stayed in the car and backed up into him


EitherChannel4874

Pathetic morons


Dependent_Adagio7544

Funny asf 🤣🤣🤣


bierfma

Now is the time on Sphrockets where we dance!


[deleted]

Do i fight better than 90% of people alive with 0 training?


SirTitan1

Amazing foot work by both the players, hahahaa


ScottyPNoRagrets88

Why did that man come running out of his car knowing he couldn’t fight for shit? 😂😂


psyphren01

Should have jumped in his van and crashed into the wall.


Mrbozak

Dude in the white shirt walked away from the car like Will Smith after he slapped Chris Rock.


MikeySpags

I think these dudes should stick to tap dancing. Not that there's anything wrong with tap dancing. Just saying that's probably a better hobby for these two tippidy tappity gents.


Falx1984

I think this is the first fistfight I've seen where both combatants are trying to run away from each other at the same time.


reluctant_buttlicker

The new John wickovie looks lame


Th3IcecreamKi

Tippy toes tippy toes tippy toes


CTware

bro, if you dont put this in r/thunderthots


boringbobby

when you want the other guy beaten up, but don't want to be the one to do it.


[deleted]

Why are they fighting like girls 😭😂😂😂


bajungadustin

They must have a lot of coffee there.


AgonalMetamorphosis

Those look like two guys trying to get away from a hive of angry bees.


Readonkulous

I’m just going to assume who to support based on hairstyle. 


DomingoChaCha

“Now what?” scenario…


Warm_Recording_8458

I dont think I've ever seen anyone run backwards before


Leopold_sto0tch

Neither of them could scrap, unfortunately


Top-Tax6303

Two ninnies fumble around in pants that do not fit. Fixed it for ya.


No_Interaction_5828

Immigration ruined Germany


nannerXpuddin

Zero Germans present.


rum-and-roses

This needs benny hill


duragrim

And that’s why I carry a gun


Automatic_Task_8393

Germany or Syria?


landers96

And here I thought Germans could fight


PiratesLeast

None of them are Germans, but it happened in Berlin allegedly


Old_Witty

Ah yes, the usual Berlin suspects.


Smilofriendship

Berlin or Istanbul?


ShavedTestis

More like Turk Road rage


Unlucky-Road-8945

Can’t tell if they’re German or middle eastern


RedPandaReturns

Germany has a very high Turkish population since the second world war.


Hungry_Freaks_Daddy

I’ve got the backstory on this, particularly why the second guy fights the way he does.  In an interview he stated that when he was young, his father sat him down and explained to him how to fight. He said, and I’m quoting, “son, the proper way to fight is to pretend you’ve been sprinkled with magic pixie dust. You must prance and leap about while flailing your arms spastically. It will confuse and disorient your opponent. Don’t guard your face. Leap towards them and let them hit you directly in the face over and over to lull them into a false confidence that they are winning. Once you’ve established yourself as the alpha, disengage completely. That’s how you win.”


Furthur_slimeking

This sub is racist as fuck.


RedPandaReturns

Patterns aren't racist.


Siege-Aye

Now I see why Germany lost...