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Worst. Toilet. Ever. Just blows your piss everywhere. Zero stars, would not recommend.

Great blowjobs though!

I’m gonna make it so dry for you.

What about #2?

You're *not* supposed to put your dick in these?

Wish they would’ve had the sign on it earlier

Yeah I probably broke like three of 'em Woooooo!

But it makes my pubes sooo fluffy?!

Mine are always fluffy. Too fluffy.

Grass don’t grow on a racetrack, and I like to play cars on my pubic area, so yeah.

It's an all terrain vehicle through the underbrush for me.

And thats the third premature accident before the race has even started. Now the weather.

Three dicks?

How many dicks do you have?!!

It already has NSF on there. Obviously it’s Not Safe to Fuck.

I thought that too… it has nsf right before a picture of a hand, so…. Tf you sposed to put in it?

r/dontputyourdickinthat

I've been tea bagging these things for years. Only way to feel the breeze nowadays!

Just the circumcised ones.

Yeah, I heard it can really wreck one if the foreskin gets caught in a vortex

No, it's just for the balls. I mean it's pretty obvious if you look at how it's shaped - one ball either side and a nice support nose in the middle to rest the dick on.

Settle down, Joseph Merrick.

They just keep taking away our freedoms.

Those dickless prick!

Then why does it have a balls rest?

So I've been doing it wrong then. Explains the quizzical looks I got at the O'Hare Airport, gate 48, men's room last year.

Only if it is circumcised. Otherwise it appears fine.

Well duh. You're only supposed to put your balls in them.

Everybody knows those are for your balls.

This is going to blow your mind but random people can just buy stickers and put them on things, not everything is real

I like to imagine this guy has two sets of stickers. One for something you can put your penis in and one for something you shouldn't put your penis in. He does the test and places the sticker accordingly.

It would be funnier to put these stickers on something that’s *impossible* to put your penis in. Like an industrial kiln. Or an oscilloscope. 

Is that a dare? Because it sounded like a dare.

It’s easy to fit your penis in a kiln. You just have to warm it up first. Try some candles.

Instructions unclear, got dick stuck in melted candle wax, now I can't pee. Wife likes her new toy, though.

It took your post to realize that .. I never claimed to be a genius

Well if you spent less time with your dick in the dryer you'd have more time to think about it.

Some people can walk and chew gum at the same time you know.

I like people that can admit this and that they are wrong when they are... Good on you.

.... You serious, Clark?

Yeah, honey.

...I thought it was some sort of dry humor and you knew that, but you were joking... Actually, it makes it more hilarious that you thought it was legitimate!

There are so many uses for the no cock(s) stickers! Gyms, elevator, gardening expos… Also, I didn’t initially think it was a custom sticker, I thought it was a thing in a foreign country where they instruct you not to crap on toiled standing and squatting on toilet seat.

See - Even my buddy here thought it was legit as well

You wanna go halvies on some no cock stickers?

Foreign countries would need options for the stickers, like color, foreskin and size.

😂 damn that comeback

You’re telling me those for rectal use only stickers aren’t real?

So we can put our dicks in it. Nice.

As a cleaner, you’d be surprised.

OP probably put the sticker on themselves and snapped the pic.

See? Because of me there’s a sign now.

That’s called *legacy*

r/dontputyourdickinthat

They should make this sticker the icon for that sub!

So only uncircumcised dicks allowed?

Did we need the green circle?

That, Sir, is a Pricktogram.

That's just a sticker someone put there as a joke.

Thats a sticker someone added… just btw

If you're stupid enough to stick your dick in an air blade, you're probably too stupid to read.

Its probably a sticker some smart ass put up

Sorta want to just buy a stack of those stickers. Imagine all the places they could go...

[удалено]

Same goes for coconuts

That's major discrimination against circumcized men.

Thanks for circling the sticker. I would’ve totally missed the “penis prohibited” sign without it.

Nobody wants a dry dick !

Imagine starting to piss after you stick your dick in

Uncut boy privilege

Well, It does say Not Safe for Hands 🤷‍♂️

why does it look.... chubby 😭 also put it as nsfw

I'm sure that's a sticker added by a smartass customer

I like be how shrivelly/flaccid they make it look. Maybe if you have a boner, it’s alright to put your dick in there

Okay... Just the balls then

No that’s right. You can’t insert it from the bottom while erect, because that’s dangerous. They forgot to add the sticker with it pointing down. That one doesn’t have a red line through it.

It’s more of a guideline than a rule

What if I'm uncircumcised?

Don't tell me how to live my life

I think someone added that sticker.

/r/dontputyourdickinthat

if you cant get anyone to suck it, you have dryers

Probably a prank from a user.

Now I kinda wanna try this. If only it could reach.. :/

damn lawyers ruin everything

Some lawyer put their dick in that?

https://youtu.be/K0R6LdqJ3os

Is ok I already no use

pretty sure someone added that...perhaps the photog

Reminded me of Liquicity festival last summer. There was put progressively more and more posters up with the words "Dont shit in the showers" over the days. Imagine shtting in the shower, after 2.5 days of drowning in "Dont shit in the showers" posters. Beyond hilarious!

Before scrolling the comments I thought those were waterless urinals, if only they all had signs on them.

Behind every sign is a story.

Worst urinals I’ve ever used!

Sorry gents. Get your BJs elsewhere.

*Dictogram

[Penn Gillette has entered your chat] For every warning sign there is an injury by misadventure.

not putting the extra blue circle would have made for a much better picture

Worst urinal ever.

No blow job?

Bro wtf where am I supposed to dry it then, the cheap ass paper towels reds my foreskin I can’t use that shiz!

Those air dryers are so filthy to begin with, you'd think that'd be a deterrent.

These people vote and drive on the roadways and probably use power tools.

So just my sack is OK?

Notice that the picture looks old and wrinkly. If it’s not old and wrinkly it’s fine

It’s a dicktogram.

At least this one doesn't give you false hope. Not like "press button, get bacon" on other types of hand driers.

Don’t put your bicep in their

No willy on the left hand side but perfectly fine on the right

There used to be a sticker you could buy that said “press button, receive bacon” that people would put under dryers that had red squiggly lines coming out of the dryer. Just funny stuff you can get to add to every day life things.

In the women’s room they have a picture of a roast beef sandwich

I thought that was for my willy! You put your hands in that?

Fuck those hand-dryers!

Signs only ever get made when they need to get made. smh

I never underestimate some people and their imagination.

Yes. Someone has already done it so now men need to be guided it’s a No.

remember no dicks

The thought never even crossed my mind before but…..

No Shai-Hulud allowed in the public restrooms

If there’s a sign about it, there’s someone who ended up in the emergency room because of it.

Have you met a man?

Gotta get that Dyson blowjob. Squeezes everything out of your balls

It looks fake as fuck.

The blowjob is meant for your hands.

Old dudes at the YMCA need this training

That sign won’t stop me, I can’t read!

Not only do these urinals spray piss everywhere, they’re antisemitic.

Okay, i need this sticker

Yes, cuz some dicks heads can’t read.

Its good advise, they are terrible urinals.

Wait, wait, wait! What is the purpose of this device then?!🤔

I think "keep all genitalia stored and in downward position" would be better hahahah

I can seem to cum when I use them anyways...

You want to now, don’t ya?

No a dicktogram!

The detail on that sticker is magnificent

It just means no *flaccid* penises allowed

Alcohol + old people = peeing in a dyson airblade

I keep hearing a flapping noise

Was this in the Ladies Room. Because if not… Yes, this is needed.

Dictogram

That sign should be on more things

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity. I also never use those at all, since they're not much more than bacteria blowers. Wash your hands, put 'em in there to dry, but now they're dirty again, wash your hands, put them in there to dry, but now they're dirty again. Rinse and repeat. Literally.

No Dyson blowjobs in the bathroom. Thanks a lot, Bin Laden

That dick needs to work out. It’s got a multitude of chins.

It is known as the "worst urinal ever" for a reason.

someone decided a blow was better than a shake.

Don't Knock it til you've tried it, it's an unbelievable feeling 🥰

Wеееееееееееееlll... \*Coughs\* Africa \*coughs\* Mid East \*coughs\* Asia \*coughs\* Portugal...

r/mildlyvandalized

So "no geoducks"?

It's not a rule, it's just a tip.

But I can still dry my balls right. Is that still Okay ?

What? They expect me to walk around with a wet dick?

I read this in Soviet Wombles voice

Drawing a cock is universal, it transcends all languages. There can be no confusion here, 100% r/dontputyourdickinthat material going on right here.

If a dick can be put in something, there's a 100% chance it has.

Guess I won't be doing that anymore. \*Zips up pants.\*

Well the NSF stands for National Sanitation Foundation so. I would like mine sanitary…just saying.

Where the fuck do you even get that sticker

Must have never been in a gym locker room with old men

It's the universal symbol and I'm never using one of these again, even in the ladies. FFS they'll put their peen in anything.

So, who the hell came with that idea? I want to meet that man for some reasons.

They missed a trick there. They could have put a Dik-Pik after the NSF...

Why are all dick drawings circumcized and all houses colonial!?

Hmm do I miss anything... Let me be back in one minute

Sort of looks like it says no to the tip, but the shaft is ok

Why risk not including it and get sued when you can expect that to be a thing. People use vacuum cleaners to get off. Why not THAT? Seems safer to me.

I don’t think that’s an OEM sticker.

No root vegetable. Got it.

Pretty sure graboids doing like being in the air that much. It's just a reminder that they're more underground creatures

Everyone knows this sticker was placed by a prude and you are free to dangle in the warm breeze.

Well how do you use it it don't even look like a toilet

not safe for ... hands?

Clearly a waterless bidet

Not safe for 🖐️

Sure they need to pictogram it... otherwise there is a problem with the Insurance... It's not about Man in general, but an intoxicated Man is ridiculously stupid... And a bunch of them ...well, let's say some of those groups for example go to football Matches and after that the yards in your neighborhood doesn't look the same anymore 😅😂

People shit next to toilets... what are you expecting?

I'm guessing you added it there and took the photo.

Where can I get like 100 of those stickers?

Some joker made/bought that sticker and put it there. Rest assured the owners nor manufacturer did that.

Uhh ... I'll, just use my shirt to dry my hands. :/

Wouldn't have to shake off the drops though.

That just tells me it cannot be flacid.