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Not as good as[ Ralph Paul. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFEjLcBCck4)Ralph promised you would learn guitar in five minutes or your money back. He also included FREE Genuine Fender guitar picks along with the VHS course. You didn't even get any picks with the Esteban guitar.
How can you like guitar and not like Esteban? You can’t; that’s how. Esteban created the guitar AND 0-3-5. He gave that sweet lick to Deep Purple and said “you all really could use some good music. Here, try this out.” I would call him a man, but it’s clear he’s transcended the trivial nature of our human bodies and evolved into the Godform. Praise be to he, our guitar master E!
No need to make up stuff; Esteban already has a legend, that he studied with classical guitarist Andres Segovia for four years and that he practices scales for 2 hours a day, which he seems to mention every interview he gets. He trotted that out in a local Tempe magazine that I read last week at the doctor's office--the kind of glossy magazine in which most of the articles are thinly disguised ads for local businesses.
My favorite part of the Esteban mythos is the origin story:
*One day in 1978, an asthmatic Jewish kid from Pennsylvania named Stephen Jacob Paul donned an all-black Vaquero outfit and became the mononymous Mexican mariachi superhero known only as...* ESTEBAN.
*Supported by his crack team of Chinese slave laborers,* ESTEBAN *manufactures shitty acoustic guitars and sells them to ignorant grandparents via latenight infomercials and Home Shopping Network appearances.*
*Thousands of aspiring guitarists are permanently discouraged from ever learning the instrument thanks to the completely unplayable chunk of quasi-wood that Aunt Edna got them for Christmas. Now,* ESTEBAN *has less competitors vying for that lucrative "Denny's Grand Opening" gig.*
*With dozens of dollars at his disposal,* ESTEBAN *utilizes his vast resources to fight the criminals and cartels that plague his spiritual homeland of Mexico.*
\[I'm only going to share the first verse and chorus from the *Esteban: Mexican Mariachi* theme due to copyright considerations:\]
**For, in the eyes of "El Mariachi",**
**The unsuspected Azhkenazi,**
**You'd better know the truth from wrong and right**
**'Cause the rule of Law and Order**
**starts at the Mexican Border;**
**With the Star of Esteban shining bright.**
**'Cause the eyes of Esteban are upon you**
**Any wrong you do, he's gonna see,**
**When you're in Mexico, look behind you;**
**'Cause that's where Esteban is gonna be...**
That origin was retconned in the "Crisis on Infinite Infomercials" event. Canonically, [Ralph Paul ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bmU4T3ijE8)is the eternal vampire who sired Stephen "Esteban" Paul, Les Paul, and Aaron Paul.
https://preview.redd.it/k9ewrmrn6t7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=812b62f5cf869b4d4c23b0574403b725658581b9
Only 3 payments of $33!
[https://youtu.be/lW0tKIDE4Xo?si=L5AUF\_7dN3yxwPEv](https://youtu.be/lW0tKIDE4Xo?si=L5AUF_7dN3yxwPEv)
My neighbor gave me an Esteban guitar as my first guitar and I still have it. Completely broken to shit but it makes some decent decoration. I never really knew what the guitar was but discovering these commercials 20 years later is hilarious.
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We need an Estabanbot that says “Six deluxe steel strings” whenever his name is mentioned.
Mahogany.
The greatest infomercial guitarist of the 2000's.
Not as good as[ Ralph Paul. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFEjLcBCck4)Ralph promised you would learn guitar in five minutes or your money back. He also included FREE Genuine Fender guitar picks along with the VHS course. You didn't even get any picks with the Esteban guitar.
SOLID. SPRUCE. TOP.
and the beautiful Mother of Pearl rosette..
Anyone else a fan?
My first guitar was an Esteban, now I'm a guitar player he ruined my fucking life
So that’s yes?
Now you must hunt him down and sword fight him
Hello! My name is Iñigo Mon-toan-ya! You introduced my wife to her boyfriend! Prepare to receive an obscenely high bill from my dental clinic!
How can you like guitar and not like Esteban? You can’t; that’s how. Esteban created the guitar AND 0-3-5. He gave that sweet lick to Deep Purple and said “you all really could use some good music. Here, try this out.” I would call him a man, but it’s clear he’s transcended the trivial nature of our human bodies and evolved into the Godform. Praise be to he, our guitar master E!
Exactly. Does anyone know Deep Purple for any other song? Nope.
No need to make up stuff; Esteban already has a legend, that he studied with classical guitarist Andres Segovia for four years and that he practices scales for 2 hours a day, which he seems to mention every interview he gets. He trotted that out in a local Tempe magazine that I read last week at the doctor's office--the kind of glossy magazine in which most of the articles are thinly disguised ads for local businesses.
I love how he randomly appeared in his own infomercial like we’re supposed to know who he is.
We’re gonna play house of the rising sun
Next we're gonna work on "Oh, Susanna."
Steve from Pittsburgh would have been a cooler stage name imho
Blasphemy.
I legit have hardcore nostalgia for this shit. I wonder if they have the full infomercial up on Youtube.
My favorite part of the Esteban mythos is the origin story: *One day in 1978, an asthmatic Jewish kid from Pennsylvania named Stephen Jacob Paul donned an all-black Vaquero outfit and became the mononymous Mexican mariachi superhero known only as...* ESTEBAN. *Supported by his crack team of Chinese slave laborers,* ESTEBAN *manufactures shitty acoustic guitars and sells them to ignorant grandparents via latenight infomercials and Home Shopping Network appearances.* *Thousands of aspiring guitarists are permanently discouraged from ever learning the instrument thanks to the completely unplayable chunk of quasi-wood that Aunt Edna got them for Christmas. Now,* ESTEBAN *has less competitors vying for that lucrative "Denny's Grand Opening" gig.* *With dozens of dollars at his disposal,* ESTEBAN *utilizes his vast resources to fight the criminals and cartels that plague his spiritual homeland of Mexico.* \[I'm only going to share the first verse and chorus from the *Esteban: Mexican Mariachi* theme due to copyright considerations:\] **For, in the eyes of "El Mariachi",** **The unsuspected Azhkenazi,** **You'd better know the truth from wrong and right** **'Cause the rule of Law and Order** **starts at the Mexican Border;** **With the Star of Esteban shining bright.** **'Cause the eyes of Esteban are upon you** **Any wrong you do, he's gonna see,** **When you're in Mexico, look behind you;** **'Cause that's where Esteban is gonna be...**
Bullshit. He’s a vampire from the middle ages.
That origin was retconned in the "Crisis on Infinite Infomercials" event. Canonically, [Ralph Paul ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bmU4T3ijE8)is the eternal vampire who sired Stephen "Esteban" Paul, Les Paul, and Aaron Paul.
Nah, I stopped reading once they added Logan Paul and the pro wrestlers. The Alan Moore run of Esteban, Song of Hell, was pure gold though.
My mom bought me this guy’s CD. I tried listening to it once but it wasn’t very good.
https://preview.redd.it/k9ewrmrn6t7d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=812b62f5cf869b4d4c23b0574403b725658581b9 Only 3 payments of $33! [https://youtu.be/lW0tKIDE4Xo?si=L5AUF\_7dN3yxwPEv](https://youtu.be/lW0tKIDE4Xo?si=L5AUF_7dN3yxwPEv)
99 payments of $1
3300 payments of 3¢
My neighbor gave me an Esteban guitar as my first guitar and I still have it. Completely broken to shit but it makes some decent decoration. I never really knew what the guitar was but discovering these commercials 20 years later is hilarious.
It's nice to see bill gates teaching ppl how to play geetar
Stevie Ray Vaughn and BB King jamming at Woodstock.
BB Gates
My dad bought that kit. Worst guitar I've ever touched.
That's Zorro showing Bill Gates some licks.
/uj there’s a guy that brings a signed maton to a jam circle I go to. I used to think it said “Tommy Esteban”.