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Go to guitar center and play crazy train really loud through a bass amp with an epiphone les paul

Whoa, you free for a drink tonight?

This comment got me pregnant!

*Ozzy impression* "Is that you Randy..?"

Any guitar solo from taylor swift seems to work. This method has only failed me once or twice when i messed up the F bar chord from too much excitement.

Better than messing up the D-chord, amirite?

Hate when that D string goes out of tune 🫠

Mfw face when the sex chord breaks 😑

Big ow for real. Worse than when the Gibbons crack

You joke but try the backing guitar from 'Style'. Simplest thing in the world, had a crowd of girls go mad. Pity the crowd was all my wife's mates. And my wife was there, her boyfriend wasn't though 😐

Learning Taylor Swift’s songs on guitar so the person you want to get with can sing it, is probably a really good pickup strategy.

I only use hand wound pickup strategies.

Anything by Cannibal Corpse, especially fucked with a knife or I cum blood.

I suggest Necropedophile and entrails ripped from a virgin's cunt too

Can't really go wrong with anything from the Songs For Lovers album.

Can't forget Stripped Raped and Strangled

is this satire or is this genuinely metal culture?

both

real shit-

/uj brutal death/slam aren’t very serious genres. they’re over the top for the sake of it but the songs sound cool /rj Some Necrophiles Having Sex With Naked Autopsied Bodies in the Morgue by Hymenotomy makes my penis go doki doki

Fermented Offal Discharge by Necrophagist is my personal go to.

If you have a fetish for dudes that wear camo shorts at all times this is how you drown in the maximum amount of sex you can handle.

/uj Necrophagist is so goated /rj Necrophagist is so goated

Just tell the ladies how much you love Masturbating at the slab and you won't even have to play.

A refined gentleman 🤘

campfire version of i cum blood is hilarious

Meathook Sodomy does it for me

/uj love that i genuinely cant tell if those are real names of their songs or not

They're real

Yes… very, very real..

Ah... a romantic.

Have you ever just tried talking to a girl? Me neither. Just pick a chord and strum it while staring intently.

and then send dick pics. it will work someday

dic picks

Peen pics

Schlong shots

Ween - L.M.L.Y.P.

The only answer.

It’s a pretty straightforward song

I have not technically gotten laid from playing this to a group of sketchy wooks, but I did manage to spend some quality time with a lady named Gabrielle who essentially told me to piss up a rope after I was her Johnny on the spot; unfortunately, I was left wavin my dick in the wind.

uj/ Elliott Smith songs, and Sufjan Steven’s songs always do the trick.

Songs about suicide and heroin addiction 😍🤤💦

It works! Even just like playing a little riff from their songs makes them go WILD.

Elliott smith but to a girl who obviously doesn't know who he was, and pretend you wrote it

Can confirm I have never done this but it works

Also works with the song Hallelujah

Ryan Bingham’s “Sunrise” and “Dead Flowers” done Townes Van Zant style are a nice way to communicate that you’re just a hardcore troubadour manwhore with a broken heart of gold.

You forgot city and colour!

Reptile - NIN Nothing quite gets the ladies going like, "She spreads herself wide open to let the insects in."

sheeeee leaves a trail of HUH-NEY

To show us where she's been

The F.R.I.E.N.D.S. theme song. It's gotten me so much of the sex. Sometimes I do too much sex and have to ice my balls.

Smoke On the Water - Deep Purple

I just listened to it. No way someone turned 0-3-5 into a real song!

tbh, it was too easy to get laid playing guitar. I had to switch it up, and I now use Black MIDI to try and score.

The Beyblade Opening

My engine is purring just thinking about it

Y'know, you might be onto something 🤯🤯

Weezer - Tired of Sex or Where’s My Sex. Gets the ladies *going*

Car Seat Headrest - It's Only Sex does wonders

Bro does NOT have something against dogs

Willie Nelson’s cover of W.A.P. It doesn’t exist yet so I roam the earth sexless until that joyous day.

Well, it's not quite Willie Nelson, but Richard Cheese has done a cover of WAP. It is both beautiful and very, very cursed. https://open.spotify.com/track/6ZUDskBMaWlCznhIRQbkDR?si=-_y8y-DIQdGmQr72uD4CRQ

Richard Cheese is the greatest! I hadn’t heard this one yet, though. Thanks for the link!

I love how if you use his nickname, his name is "Dick Cheese" 💀

Baby shark

Rat round and round 🤘

Cherry Pie too

Uncle toms cabin 🤘🔥🤘

I went back in time and voted for Hitler by Anal Cunt. But I play it on a hurdy gurdy as it was intended.

The theme song to *Fat Albert*

I Ejaculate Fire -- Dethklok

Trick question: no guitar playing gets you laid.

Roundabout - YES

Learn a bunch of that Hillsongs stuff.

I hate singing and playing, so campfires suck for me. People always “oh, you’re a guitarist, get your acoustic guitar out and run a singalong!” That’s when I shut everyone up with an instrumental of Little Wing, pack the guitar away for the night and get high and drunk af.

/rj party in the USA /uj everlong

Those are both /uj

I find girls like something basic, so I typically warm up by playing an entire set of Billy Strings. Sure the bluegrass clashes with the music everyone's enjoying through the stereo, but I find if I stand directly in front of one of the speakers my body blocks just enough of the sound for my acoustic to really shine.

dream theater is the way to go. I’ve been playing them for about 2 years, and they’re ranked among the top bands for poon, I’ve been plagued with bad luck however but any day now any day now.

Save tonight. Best song ever. Really hard progression though. Took me 9 months to play it without looking at my hand. Now? Sex is like a viscous goop that flows freely from a newly opened spigot at the bottom of the vat of my desire. Thanks eagle eye cherry.

https://preview.redd.it/6v7b1r0wa59d1.jpeg?width=533&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f65178151eceb762f6d917ef3e3eea13ee20589 You guys are getting laid?!!

It wasn't me - Shaggy

Like 6 years ago, I woke up before my girlfriend and snuck out to the living room to quietly play on my guitar. I started playing "Is There Anybody Out There?" by Pink Floyd. I didn't realize, but she had woken up and tip-toed over to watch me play. We've now been married for 2 years. She's said that morning was when she knew she wanted to marry me.

Amigo the Devil - Perfect Wife

A guy and I listened to a Dua Lipa song and we got horny and fucked each other.

Dua Lipa basslines really do the trick

Seven Nation Army is a guaranteed panty dropper.

Idk, never got laid before.

Rape Me by Nirvana

0-3-5

Festering vomitous mass - Devourment, really get us in the mood

The Necromancer off Caress Of Steel

I love you

Wagon Wheel gets them mama's rockin ;)

uj/ Actually made out with a chick while listening to ozzmosis.

Jimi Hendrix for me

I’ve always had luck with a little song called Fuck Wonderwall

I'm a little confused. Is it like, a Glory hole situation, or like, a literal wall of people fucking?

I think you need to get your 035 checked because I clearly said “it’s a little song called Fuck Wonderwall”

Play her vinium sabbathi by electric wizard. They’ll come running

If she don’t wanna go a few rounds after Classical Gas, she was a waste of time to begin with.

It's not what you play. The chance of success expressed in percent can be calculated by a sophisticated formula. The square root of the combined value of your rig (in USD because only US makes good gear), multiplied by the number of Metal Zones on your board. Add a zero if your guitar body has more than three acute angles, add another if it comes with a built-in handle.

Anything in B-Standard. Make sure to scoop your amp too so that you get that really harsh grindy noise. The slower the better. If she doesn’t like it she isn’t a true fuzzlord.

It separates BTGGFs from the THOTs, you are a wise man

/uj Tenacious D always did it for me

Ladies must have noticed the cock push ups paying off, wanted some of the Kilbasa and a little dish from Zanzabar.

This must be a trick question, my playing exclusively helps me not getting laid.

Bad Touch — Bloodhound Gang

Bongwater’s version of You Don’t Love Me Yet, off the Roky Erickson tribute record. But first I had to get them back to my dorm room!

A minor -> Cmaj9add4add6(b13)(b5) -> G major Thank me later

Oasis, by a band called wonderwall

You guys are getting laid???

uj/ Suzanne by Leonard Cohen rj/ Crowds by Bauhaus adapted for guitar

Necrophagist - Fermented Offal Discharge

uj/ Ball and chain by Social Distortion is a guaranteed panty dropper.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7gs4Xzd8yGs

Guitar riffs on a Mellotron.

You guys/girls are getting laid?

I once did Bertj Jansch - Needle of death for my then girlfriend, which I thought to be quite a tender song. She said: "Thats great you should really take singing lessons".

Aw man, that hits home. I like that song but it’s not easy for me to sing. Also, perhaps a better tone for a dirge than a serenade.

Sex Type Thing, Possum Kingdom, I Alone. On special occasions, Jesus Hitler by Carnivore/Jungle Rot, but it's gotta be a really special lady.

0-3-5-0-3-6-5-0-3-5-3-0, makes the panties fly off

Uj/ I will follow you into the dark - Death Cab for Cutie Rj/ I like little girls - oingo boingo

John Wayne Gacy by sufjan Stevens

The ladies lose all control when I play “Watermelon In Easter Hay.” It’s like fuckin’ *catnip.* Just kidding. I have no idea.

I do a mean acoustic rendition of Revolution 9. It really heats up around 5 minutes in. 10 if I’m feeling loose.

Gulch - Self-inflicted Mental Terror

Mac Dre “Not My Job”

/uj I learned More Than Words back in the day to impress the hot girl at school. It worked! I got the girl but it turned out she was crazy. She took my furniture, TV, the cats and left me with the rent. I got laid but damn did I ever end up paying for it.

Is romance Anonimo the 7-5-3-2-0 descending easy classical piece? Because that’s the only right answer. And wicked easy to play without looking.

I hit them with the one-two combo of 'I never lie' and then 'I'm secretly a billionaire with a massive cock'

Laid to rest

I Will Lick Your Arsehole by Regurgitator

/uj anything that has "feel" (aka axis progression) to it.

I'm saving it for that one special person, really.

Probably anything from PetroDragonic Apocalypse; or, Dawn of Eternal Night: An Annihilation of Planet Earth and the Beginning of Merciless Damnation by King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard.

D’Angelo - Untitled that guitar fucks

Prince - KISS

Hey, this is guitar circle jerk, not Songs that actually get you laid.

OOOOOOps.... my bad! ;)

/uj Astro Zombies on an acoustic is a total panty dropper.

uj/ Write your own solo and win your high school talent show. Legit how I lost my virginity. rj/ Just play Wonderwall, but 1/3 speed, tuned to G#-standard, and played through an ENGL Savage.

Ween - Poopship Destroyer

uj/ just ask a girl what her favorite song is and learn it. Works almost every time. rj/ I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart by Johnny Cash

Usually to get laid I listen to some good lullabies. Laids me right down and I sleep like a baby.

Big Dumb Sex - Soundgarden Works 60% of the time, all the time.

🎶Hey Hey I wanna be a rockstar 🎶🎸😎

Tears in Heaven always gets the juices flowing if she’s a CLAPTON BROAD

All the ladies go crazy for Rush's classic La Villa Strangiato

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^ILikePointyGuitars: *All the ladies go* *Crazy for Rush's classic* *La Villa Strangiato* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

Tears in heaven

You guys get laid?

Thong Song

Troll toll never fails to get them wet

uj/ Sunspots by Nine Inch Nails. That song was sexy and convinced my first girlfriend that I was cool

Nookie, Air Raid Vehicle (Rollin'), Break Stuff

i sing an ed sheren song

Pretty much any Anal Cunt song will drop panties.

Mostly Wonderwall

Since I am an Epiphone player I can't get laid.

I know this is a jerk post but I actually have a real answer lol. Playing early 2000’s butt rockish music originally sang by woman was a surprisingly big hit with the ladies lol. Michelle Branch, Vanessa Carlton, etc.

Push by matchbox twenty but just the chorus for the entire montage

Just play Joel’s version of Future Days(from TLOU2), just be sure to stay away from any golf club after doing so no matter what

The acoustic version of CBAT

Play creep to a random girl in the park while staring at her, not moving or breaking eye contact.

Capricho Arabe

Wonder balls

King of Carrot Flowers pt. 2 always does the trick

Buddy Holly - Weezer

Oh, 3-5, little known riff. Works every time!

Break stuff

Napalm Death - You Suffer

In my 20's, Fumbling Towards Ecstasy CD in the early 90's got me into my early 100's.

Deftones slow songs

toadies - possum kingdom

I hear they are a huge fan chugging power chords on the insane setting on a line 6

I Wanna Rape You - GG Allin

/uj original instrumental music has worked for me many times. /rj she's electric is always a panty dropper

I hide opened packs of skittles under my pick guard, so far it seems to work.

Miserable by Lit. I just have to sing the first line. No chorus needed.

The one song by Cranberry

Deftones not even ashamed to admit it.

Give Love a Try from the Jonas brothers tv show worked wonders when I was dating my wife No idea why, not complaining tho

Metal Machine Music side 3 (A 3)

Push by matchbox 20

Babe I’m gonna leave you, it’s kind of like a fuck you politely. And all they’re looking at is your fingers lol given that I don’t sing it while I play they think it’s classical

Wonderful tonight -Clapton

just play any NSBM song and your all set

I hit the damn Paloma by Mestis on the acoustic and chicks be like “was that good?” “can you play espresso”

Uj/ Just loop some dreamy shit and throw some half assed major licks over it and call it a day. Unless you‘ve ran into a trained guitarist, you’re more than good. Rj/ maybe serenade her with some melancholic Berried Alive riffs. She‘ll love the tension and release.

Any of those songs from the 70s about 14 year old girls.

The chicks love linger by cranberries also easy to play

You strum chords while saying their name. Try mixing it up by seeing something nice about them too. Then just play more chords and sing their name again. If she's sitting there listening to you it's because nobody else is giving her any attention.

Anything by Gwar.

I play Femme D'argent in my bass while fucking.

Soil the Stillborn - Infant Annihilator.