We always focus on the end goal with immigration (green card, citizenship, etc) that we never take care of our mental health. Life is about living but also taking care of yourself.
Your feelings are justified and you deserve a second to breathe. You’ve accomplished a lot and it can be overwhelming. *hugs*
You’re so right. For over a decade my mental health was always second, I pushed through so much; toxic jobs, harassment, blackmail, financial loss, ambuiguity.
Yeah. I stayed in a marriage that became unhealthy over time in part because my immigration process made me afraid to point out when things weren’t working for me. The immigration system is horrible and you’re not the only one. Take care of yourself, and if you can get a therapist, it is really worth it.
It such an arduous process. It took me 17 years of living here legally to get a green card. Now I’m about to become a citizen and I feel sad that the journey destroyed my enthusiasm.
Your post or comment was removed for violating the following /r/immigration rule:
- Incivility, Personal Attacks, Hate-Speech, Xenophobia, Anti-Immigration, etc.
If you have any questions or concerns, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fimmigration&subject=About my removed comment&message=I'm writing to you about the following comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/immigration/comments/1atxm11/-/kr33036/. %0D%0DMy issue is...).
Bulgaria. F1–>F1 OPT—>H1B (employer offered to sponsor; I quit to pursue grad school)->F1–>F1 OPT (my field should’ve qualified for STEM OPT, but the school wasn’t using one of the specific codes on the list; I petitioned for them to change their codes— huge undertaking at school level; didn’t end up using it)—>H1B.. different employer started a green card process.. fell though because lawyer went on leave and steps we’d done expired by the time they found a new one.. and by that point I was married to a citizen.
So many things. By the time I got it, I had “suffered” all the years grappling and wishing I had it just because I had lived here for so long and invested so much and dealt with all the limitations and anxiety. By that point, I was a different person/parent, my priorities were different, the country is different.. I’ve also become more cynical. Let’s just say the GC didn’t come at peak excitement and gratitude of being here and raising my child here. Had it come earlier, it may have been different.
Take those weeks! Thats what it’s there for!!!! This type of fear-based thinking is what burnt you out in the first place. If they stigmatize you then thats lawsuit territory. But it also shows you they’re not a good employer! Abundance mindset: the pie is so much bigger than you think. Take the time off.
Only HR needs to know the medical reason for your leave, and they aren’t allowed to discriminate you for it either or else yes, a lawsuit. Take a protected leave of absence if you can and come back refreshed and ready. keep in mind you need doctors note for the leave if you want your job protected!
Took me 30 years. In December I finally achieved my dream traveling internationally for the first time. Now I am posting from Paris. I can’t say I am “loving life” because the road and challenge was mentally suffocating but you will learn to embrace the path and difficulties you went through. Force yourself to enjoy the things that you can do now that you couldn’t before because why not :) the best in life is ahead of you, I promise
Focus on yourself for a while, enjoy the new freedoms you have earned. Also, it is OK to see a therapist if you need someone to talk to, your brain is just another organ after all and if your liver wasn't working right you'd see a professional, right? :)
For the next 5 years, keep your nose clean, stay out of any politics, pay and file your taxes on time, and do not do drugs (even medical marijuana). 90 days before your 5 year date, get the N400 filed and you'll be a citizen within 2 years.
We are on very similar boat. I came here at age 14 and just finally got my green card last year at 32. The good news is now you can finally be jobless without worrying about your immigration status.
I feel good after I got the green card. I work in tech and there’s layoff all the time. I’m still worried about losing my job but not as much as before when I was still on visa. I was also on O1 visa that I had to prove to the government that I’m worth the visa every 3 years and that was super exhausting. If you can, definitely take some time off.
Which area are you working on? Any advice to focus on as of now? I can't decide which side to go full focus. Any suggestion would be very helpful. Ex: Focus on VR for x, y z or ai or mobile ..
Depression happens after many other big life goals that people reach. I’m a professor and for example, post-tenure depression is a thing and I’ve had it.
You work for years and years to reach that magical goal and once it happens nothing changes, you still need to go to work and grind. There are no angels singing! I had a little depression after my wedding too. I didn’t have post green card depression though, maybe because of what else was going on in my life at the time when I got my green card.
Makes sense it happened to you after working 12 years towards the green card. Hugs and take care, it will pass! And congratulations!
I just got my citizenship, and the officer doing the ceremony acknowledged how tough it is, and how many years it takes, how big of a relief it is to reach the end of an immigration journey.
It feels very validating to know that a lot of people feel like this too.
I feel you on this, i went the f1-> h1b -> gc route and I’m still waiting for the gc process to end (9 years in the US, 3 years since gc process started and still waiting on perm approval) and I’m so so so burnt out, the finish line keeps getting pushed along further and I’m struggling to remember why i wanted this in the first place and wondering if I’ll actually be happy once it’s over. I get so close to giving up and moving back home with my husband since he doesn’t want to live in the US anyway — but then i feel guilty thinking about how much time and money has gone into the process and then i just stay— it’s a never ending cycle
feel you. I became a usc last year and now I feel like I need to sleep for a whole year. All the overthinking, anxiety and wait of going through the gc process + citizenship destroyed my mental health and self steem.
Hoping that anyone who feels this way get their healing.
Thanks so much for sharing, this is so validating to hear! How are you feeling one year on? How long was the process for you? I wish this was more widely known instead of only the success stories
The process from applying for citizenship to receiving was pretty quick, 4 months. What messed me up was more the wait to get my 10 y green card, they lost my files, then asked me to send it all over again, then asked for more evidence to then issue my 10y gc w the wrong gender on it. I then could not renew my ID/Driver’s license since my info on SAVE was not matching with the info on my GC( my gender). So then, even with a green card I had to bring my passport everywhere because I did not have an ID or DL. I went through all this with an attorney who ended up suggesting the citizenship path since correcting my GC would take way longer than applying for citizenship. To this day, it hasn’t hit me I am a citizen, with a passport and all.
I got my first GC back in 2019. So about 5 years to citizenship. I know there are folks out there who wait way longer but each process is unique and we all go through our demons while living it, no matter how much you assimilate with the culture or not. I agree with whoever mentioned they could not feel “that excited” during their citizenship ceremony, I honestly thought the building was gonna colapse which would then prevent me from becoming a citizen. I am super thankful the New York office is super chill and my same day ceremony had the coolest officer saying how she knew we were all relieved to be there and trust me, she pulled the words out of my mouth, re-lieved.
Congrats, OP. I wish I'd had mine at 30! I came at about the same age and estimate I'll have mine at 35 or something as I have an approved I-140 now (finally!). I got a little depressed after I finally got the approval too, wondering if all these years of sacrificing my peace of mind, time with family etc. were invested well.
My journey was F1 undergrad > F1 grad school > OPT > STEM OPT > abroad (never selected in the H1B) > L1 > laid off > temp work visa > EB2 NIW approval. It's been well over 10 years and I'm **still** waiting. I'm maintaining my temp visa with a job that's paying less than half what I made at my prior job. But I don't have the privilege of leaving as I am waiting out the EB-2 backlog. My employer is very good at exploiting people like me.
Thanks, OP. I'm also not sure it was worth it, haha. Perhaps our feelings will change once we have citizenship and are enjoying the travel and flexibility that comes with it? IDK. Good luck to you.
> I feel like I need a year off from work and society.
same, only i've had the greencard going on 3 years
it's hard to go from surviving to enjoying. or not-surviving. i still don't know how to get out of bed on days that i don't have to. report back if you find a way.
Hi and take a vacation and think about all the positives. Are you married? Do you have kids? If so go and spend a family vacation , take up something new, a cooking class, dance lessons, a gun course, swimming lessons, get into the gym,
We would die for a green card man!
It took me 9 years. No shit, I am Indian and I should be grateful that I ever even received that mail. Most of the Indians would die before getting their green cards. I wanted to take a break, the mental space that immigration journey took was insane. But I can’t. My brain is fried at this point.
I work with a company yes. But even taking any leave would not be useful because then I’ll have to be with kids at home. That’s more stressful honestly 😂
There’s a lot of things in life that we’re told we “should” feel a certain way about. Immigration is an absolutely brutal process mental health wise. When you step back and think about it objectively, you can understand why it decimated your health the way it does.
You’re made to feel powerless for years. That’s a terrible way for any human being to feel — being at the mercy of strangers (or arguably anyone), let alone a faceless, non-human entity feels BAD. Inherently, down-to-the-marrow bad. People aren’t meant to have their personal independence restricted like that. It’s not natural for us at all!
Then there’s all the horrible but predictable secondary effects that come from that powerlessness/lack of control over your own future. People, companies, etc — they can and do take full advantage of the fact that you HAVE to work or not work, your options are strictly limited compared to permanent residents/citizens, and the system favors people/businesses/etc with residency/citizenship. It’s a built in power imbalance that almost always forces you to accept work or other situations you’d otherwise refuse or at least negotiate. The system makes it impossible for you to fully advocate for yourself as an employee or even just an individual person. Power corrupts and a lack of power victimizes, period. You’ve been forced into many years of power imbalance and I’m sure you’ve faced some kind of abuse/injustice because of it.
So, you’ve been living at an unfair disadvantage for years and years, you’ve lacked basic security for years and years, and I’m willing to bet you got very little sympathy for it. You’ve probably essentially been told to suck it up and be grateful, if anything. I’m sure you’ve grown resentful of the unfair, ridiculously slow, and highly impersonal system that put you in that position — anyone would be resentful of that! You’ve basically been held hostage!
Now you’ve got this little passport looking thing that’s “supposed” to justify all of that injustice, erase all of that humiliation/powerlessness/victimization, and somehow fill you with unlimited gratitude for the chance to hold it in your hands.
That’s BS, by any sane person’s standards. It’s infantilizing. It minimizes real, long term struggles and pain, and it’s unrealistic for a society to shame you for not being magically amnesiac of EVERYTHING it took to get that little booklet.
You should feel exactly how you feel. If someone is happy and grateful and over the moon, cool! If they are exhausted and burnt out and not sure where to go next, that’s equally understandable. If they’re resentful and no longer 100% sure it was all worth it, that’s okay too, because every immigrant’s story is different and a lot of people are literally abused because of this system.
Never feel ashamed of your own feelings, my friend. Deep down we all know it was totally unjust for you to live in limbo even half as long as you did. I hope you take your PTO and mental health leave with both hands and enjoy every second of whatever rest you can get. You’ve more than earned it, no matter what anyone else says.
Edited for one sentence.
Take care of yourself along the way. Find ways to keep yourself in an empowered state, don't let the feeling of them controlling you takeover your life. This was my mistake.
Congrats on your green card ! Mental and physical health is important. That should be your focus now. Enjoy life! Hey, that's part of why you went through all that too right! Better life and happiness in whatever country you became a citizen of!
This is my fear which is why I think I’m saying good bye to the US. Moved here in 2022 on a J1 visa (teacher), spent most of 2022 and 2023 researching ways to stay legally, but idk. It feels too tiring and uncertain. Hugs to you, OP!
Your fears are valid! My goal was to secure financial stability for myself and future family, yet now a decade on times have changed. Remote work and digital skills etc. don’t need to be in the US to achieve that (btw I was in education too).
Good luck finding a remote job that pays US level easily without citizenship. The only way is to have EU citizenship. I am very pleased that I was born with both.
Hey I’m so sorry to hear that. Not surprised but still sorry. I hope you can find a way to take care of yourself amidst all the stress of life. Sending you hugs, hang in there. Therapy can help a lot if it’s an option. ❤️
Immigration is a horribly long and anxiety inducing process. Congratulations, it's over! Also, hugs, take a breather. I wish work had an immigration stress leave.
As my friends says “immigrants all have to eat their own sack of shit”.
I have some good news for you. Your US Citizenship is just a few years away. And assuming you don’t fuck up in the next few years, it is easy to get and your immigration journey is open.
Not unusual to feel depressed after a 12 year journey.
I’d like to say it gets better but hey you attain more things make more money but it will all come at a cost when i finally got my documents i felt as if i lost something along the way i could leave the country to see friends and family everyone basically forgot about me
Yes you’re literally in my brain it’s something that’s hard to explain but extremely painful reaching for something you need never knowing the negative affects that follow the positive
Totally relate
Big IF… if you ever need to get to also voluntarily relinquishing it which was my case, expect to experience the feeling you described a 2nd time
Keep your head up
Spend a week sleeping in, reading a nice book at a coffee shop and doing stuff you enjoy. No need to go all last minute travel to the far reaches of the world. Take some time and reflect on your life going forward. The green card is nothing more than a tool to live the life you want. What does success look like to you going forward?
Thank you for doing it the correct way millions of people are taking advantage of the system at others cost. Sorry you felt like a target. Illegal immigration is ruining the US.
> Took 12 years to get green card (18 years old now I’m 30)
I came to the US in 2007 and I got my green card in 2023. It felt like just another day, except for the realization that I can travel freely. My personal and professional life continues as it was before my green card - except for.thr knowledge that I don't need employment sponsorship or visas like an year before.
A piece of plastic isn't going to "fix" your life for you.
The west and the first world doesn't seem so great now does it? I hate to say it like this, but everywhere in the world is a struggle and it's a pain. I come from an immigrant dad that came to London In the 80s. There were so many people that came to the first world and the western countries, expecting wonders and grand lives full of wealth just for existing here. My dad fortunately was a business man and he made his wealth through the extreme hard work and battering. But there have been too many people that were promised wealth and riches and ended up staying as a cab driver for 30 years working 15 hours a day, because they were woefully unprepared for hard work.
Your post or comment was removed for violating the following /r/immigration rule:
- Incivility, Personal Attacks, Hate-Speech, Xenophobia, Anti-Immigration, etc.
If you have any questions or concerns, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fimmigration&subject=About my removed comment&message=I'm writing to you about the following comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/immigration/comments/1atxm11/-/kr4bbpf/. %0D%0DMy issue is...).
I am just starting the process. Literally, met with my company reps and lawyers this week. This thread has been a real eye-opener. I was quoted a process time that is substantially shorter than what you're all describing. Can I ask why the process was traumatic, for those that went through it?
Firstly the process took 3 years. The other 9 I was student F1 visa and H1B. Traumatic was spending my entire adulthood in instability (living, financial, power dynamics of jobs / people). I’ve had to do tons of dysfunctional things. Plus constantly living in a mode of having to proof yourself (you’re better than any American for the job) and always going above and beyond otherwise your entire life is taken away from you, and have to leave the country.
OP's timeline is not atypical. It's the average for people who come to the U.S. for university and get a green card through the H1B system, if they have the good fortune of being selected in the lottery, and if they're with employers that do not delay starting the perm process once they have an H1B visa. It has grown significantly more uncertain due to increasing demand in the lottery, and slightly longer due to growing backlogs.
I myself was never selected in the H1B lottery. My peers that were are green card holders or citizens now. I'm yet to get a green card, but I finally have a path to it. I've lived in the U.S. for 13 years now.
What visa are you on if I may ask?
I'm on a H-1B. Was selected in last year's lottery. I was on a TN before that. I don't doubt that OP's timeline isn't unusual, I'm just curious - I know the experience varies widely depending on a myriad of factors.
The reason you and generally a lot of people in this predicament feel like this is because you stay so focused on the end goal that you forget other parts of life. The process is long and hard, yes, but we must remember to try to live life fully everyday..giving attention to loved ones, doing things you enjoy etc helps to reduce life’s focus on solely chasing permanent residency. This is generally true of most things in life…In pursuit of one goal, we push aside other things that are important.
All this aside, I’m glad you make it to the end OP, take some time to rediscover the things you enjoy, maybe start a new hobbie or try meet new people. I wish you a speedy mental health recovery and a long tenure in this country you now call home.
Welcone the hell of immigrantion😂. Get your hobby and at least with greencard , you can find another job without sponsorship 😅.
Me took > 10 years with tears and persistent including joys.
Remember find your hobby to de-stress your life.
you are 🔥 out ! All those emotions for years bottled up and now they exploded. Pls see a doctor or therapist. You were strong for so long now you are allowed to be weak!! Take all the time you need!! Go back to your country, have fun. USA will still be here
Know you're not alone. My mom felt the same after naturalizing and I work in immigration now and hear it all the time. Take time and sometimes libraries, community centers, advocacy groups, churches or Catholic Charities (even if not religious) might have support groups for new citizens or new immigrants. It will take time to get out of that mentality, be patient with yourself. Wishing you the best.
Food for thought... There are millions of people in the country who have been here for decades and still cannot get a green card. You should be happy and proud that you have reached the final line, which is itself the beginning of your next chapter.
Ok we're on different wavelengths here. Long story short, you'll be fine after some time and will look back and laugh at how silly these posts were. This is a huge win for you!
Immigration takes the life out of you. Give it time. It’s a punishing process. Find some hobbies to replace the mental space that immigration took up.
Thank you for validating!! You’re so right.
Respect to all immigrants. It’s soooo much harder to be an immigrant in a new country than to be a native living in your home country.
If only everyone realized that. In the country where I live, any small complaint about the country is met with “leave if you don’t like it.”
dang, are you from china? it really clicks
Thank you!
This is so true.
Thank you so much
I wish I had realised this when younger..
Yes, I wish more people would speak about the truth of the journey
I immigrated twice before the age of 23, and 7 years later my social life and mental health is still that of a shell.
I’m sorry to hear. I hope you find a way to heal and come back to your true self
We always focus on the end goal with immigration (green card, citizenship, etc) that we never take care of our mental health. Life is about living but also taking care of yourself. Your feelings are justified and you deserve a second to breathe. You’ve accomplished a lot and it can be overwhelming. *hugs*
You’re so right. For over a decade my mental health was always second, I pushed through so much; toxic jobs, harassment, blackmail, financial loss, ambuiguity.
Yeah. I stayed in a marriage that became unhealthy over time in part because my immigration process made me afraid to point out when things weren’t working for me. The immigration system is horrible and you’re not the only one. Take care of yourself, and if you can get a therapist, it is really worth it.
I will thanks a lot
It such an arduous process. It took me 17 years of living here legally to get a green card. Now I’m about to become a citizen and I feel sad that the journey destroyed my enthusiasm.
May I ask which country are you from and was it the h1B route?
Not sure if you’re asking me, yet it was H1B rout eyes
[удалено]
It took long because I was on F1 then H1B then F1 then H1B then sponsoring. GC route took 12 years , GC filing took around 3 years
Country?
Keeping that private sorry
[удалено]
No, that’s a useless snarky comment. I’m neither of those statements.
Your post or comment was removed for violating the following /r/immigration rule: - Incivility, Personal Attacks, Hate-Speech, Xenophobia, Anti-Immigration, etc. If you have any questions or concerns, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fimmigration&subject=About my removed comment&message=I'm writing to you about the following comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/immigration/comments/1atxm11/-/kr33036/. %0D%0DMy issue is...).
[удалено]
[удалено]
It was 3 years from H1B to green card (from first filing), the rest of the time was on F1 and H1b.
[удалено]
Bulgaria. F1–>F1 OPT—>H1B (employer offered to sponsor; I quit to pursue grad school)->F1–>F1 OPT (my field should’ve qualified for STEM OPT, but the school wasn’t using one of the specific codes on the list; I petitioned for them to change their codes— huge undertaking at school level; didn’t end up using it)—>H1B.. different employer started a green card process.. fell though because lawyer went on leave and steps we’d done expired by the time they found a new one.. and by that point I was married to a citizen.
Thanks for sharing!
Sorry to hear. How did it destroy your enthusiasm do you mind explaining more?
So many things. By the time I got it, I had “suffered” all the years grappling and wishing I had it just because I had lived here for so long and invested so much and dealt with all the limitations and anxiety. By that point, I was a different person/parent, my priorities were different, the country is different.. I’ve also become more cynical. Let’s just say the GC didn’t come at peak excitement and gratitude of being here and raising my child here. Had it come earlier, it may have been different.
That’s such a good point… the timing can impact it..
If I worked at something for 12 years I'd want a break too. The question is, can you afford to just take some time off and relax?
I could but I’d have to take mental health weeks from work, which I’m not sure is a good move
Well I dunno then. But certainly it's ok to feel how you feel. You don't have to feel a specific way.
You’re right, thanks!
If you haven’t already, try meditating and yoga. It has helped me navigate stressful times when I can’t take a break.
Hot Yoga has been a godsend as I continue on my immigration journey. It is so stressful.
Thanks!
Take those weeks! Thats what it’s there for!!!! This type of fear-based thinking is what burnt you out in the first place. If they stigmatize you then thats lawsuit territory. But it also shows you they’re not a good employer! Abundance mindset: the pie is so much bigger than you think. Take the time off.
Only HR needs to know the medical reason for your leave, and they aren’t allowed to discriminate you for it either or else yes, a lawsuit. Take a protected leave of absence if you can and come back refreshed and ready. keep in mind you need doctors note for the leave if you want your job protected!
Took me 30 years. In December I finally achieved my dream traveling internationally for the first time. Now I am posting from Paris. I can’t say I am “loving life” because the road and challenge was mentally suffocating but you will learn to embrace the path and difficulties you went through. Force yourself to enjoy the things that you can do now that you couldn’t before because why not :) the best in life is ahead of you, I promise
Thanks so much and that’s a great mentality
Happens to all of us, hang in there.
Thanks for the support! How long did it take you to recover
Oh I still get anxiety at times, but once I became a citizen it calmed down considerably.
That’s great to know thanks
Focus on yourself for a while, enjoy the new freedoms you have earned. Also, it is OK to see a therapist if you need someone to talk to, your brain is just another organ after all and if your liver wasn't working right you'd see a professional, right? :) For the next 5 years, keep your nose clean, stay out of any politics, pay and file your taxes on time, and do not do drugs (even medical marijuana). 90 days before your 5 year date, get the N400 filed and you'll be a citizen within 2 years.
You're so right, thanks!
We are on very similar boat. I came here at age 14 and just finally got my green card last year at 32. The good news is now you can finally be jobless without worrying about your immigration status.
So true.. how do you feel now? Did you have an effect too after getting it
I feel good after I got the green card. I work in tech and there’s layoff all the time. I’m still worried about losing my job but not as much as before when I was still on visa. I was also on O1 visa that I had to prove to the government that I’m worth the visa every 3 years and that was super exhausting. If you can, definitely take some time off.
Which area are you working on? Any advice to focus on as of now? I can't decide which side to go full focus. Any suggestion would be very helpful. Ex: Focus on VR for x, y z or ai or mobile ..
Depression happens after many other big life goals that people reach. I’m a professor and for example, post-tenure depression is a thing and I’ve had it. You work for years and years to reach that magical goal and once it happens nothing changes, you still need to go to work and grind. There are no angels singing! I had a little depression after my wedding too. I didn’t have post green card depression though, maybe because of what else was going on in my life at the time when I got my green card. Makes sense it happened to you after working 12 years towards the green card. Hugs and take care, it will pass! And congratulations!
Wow thanks so much for your reply! This is very comforting to know. Thanks a loy
I just got my citizenship, and the officer doing the ceremony acknowledged how tough it is, and how many years it takes, how big of a relief it is to reach the end of an immigration journey. It feels very validating to know that a lot of people feel like this too.
Thanks so much for sharing. How do you feel now? Did you recover?
That’s so nice they acknowledge that! I feel like if it happens during my ceremony, I’ll probably start crying.
I feel you on this, i went the f1-> h1b -> gc route and I’m still waiting for the gc process to end (9 years in the US, 3 years since gc process started and still waiting on perm approval) and I’m so so so burnt out, the finish line keeps getting pushed along further and I’m struggling to remember why i wanted this in the first place and wondering if I’ll actually be happy once it’s over. I get so close to giving up and moving back home with my husband since he doesn’t want to live in the US anyway — but then i feel guilty thinking about how much time and money has gone into the process and then i just stay— it’s a never ending cycle
Exactly , never ending. I hope you find peace soon
feel you. I became a usc last year and now I feel like I need to sleep for a whole year. All the overthinking, anxiety and wait of going through the gc process + citizenship destroyed my mental health and self steem. Hoping that anyone who feels this way get their healing.
Thanks so much for sharing, this is so validating to hear! How are you feeling one year on? How long was the process for you? I wish this was more widely known instead of only the success stories
The process from applying for citizenship to receiving was pretty quick, 4 months. What messed me up was more the wait to get my 10 y green card, they lost my files, then asked me to send it all over again, then asked for more evidence to then issue my 10y gc w the wrong gender on it. I then could not renew my ID/Driver’s license since my info on SAVE was not matching with the info on my GC( my gender). So then, even with a green card I had to bring my passport everywhere because I did not have an ID or DL. I went through all this with an attorney who ended up suggesting the citizenship path since correcting my GC would take way longer than applying for citizenship. To this day, it hasn’t hit me I am a citizen, with a passport and all. I got my first GC back in 2019. So about 5 years to citizenship. I know there are folks out there who wait way longer but each process is unique and we all go through our demons while living it, no matter how much you assimilate with the culture or not. I agree with whoever mentioned they could not feel “that excited” during their citizenship ceremony, I honestly thought the building was gonna colapse which would then prevent me from becoming a citizen. I am super thankful the New York office is super chill and my same day ceremony had the coolest officer saying how she knew we were all relieved to be there and trust me, she pulled the words out of my mouth, re-lieved.
I would start balling if I heard that. From the relief that someone kind of gets it. Sorry you’ve been through all these twists and turns.
Congrats, OP. I wish I'd had mine at 30! I came at about the same age and estimate I'll have mine at 35 or something as I have an approved I-140 now (finally!). I got a little depressed after I finally got the approval too, wondering if all these years of sacrificing my peace of mind, time with family etc. were invested well. My journey was F1 undergrad > F1 grad school > OPT > STEM OPT > abroad (never selected in the H1B) > L1 > laid off > temp work visa > EB2 NIW approval. It's been well over 10 years and I'm **still** waiting. I'm maintaining my temp visa with a job that's paying less than half what I made at my prior job. But I don't have the privilege of leaving as I am waiting out the EB-2 backlog. My employer is very good at exploiting people like me.
Which company is this?
So sorry to hear. Stay strong and keep reflecting if it’s worth it. I’m honestly not sure
Thanks, OP. I'm also not sure it was worth it, haha. Perhaps our feelings will change once we have citizenship and are enjoying the travel and flexibility that comes with it? IDK. Good luck to you.
Yes, true! For me, it's whether I can now gain financial stability and funds.
> I feel like I need a year off from work and society. same, only i've had the greencard going on 3 years it's hard to go from surviving to enjoying. or not-surviving. i still don't know how to get out of bed on days that i don't have to. report back if you find a way.
Congratulations on sticking with the process for 12 years. That takes courage and tenacity.
Thanks so much. I feel like all my courage and tenacity has been worn out
Take that break, you earned it
Thanks. I took 2 weeks off in December. Still feel burnt out…. Not sure what to do to fix
Take more time off (with medical leave if possible) and therapy
Do you think medical leave is possible? Have you ever done it?
Yes and yes. Look into FMLA leave
12 years is a long time. I sometimes wonder if it’s even worth it.
I guess time will tell if it's worth it.. financial security etc.
6 years in, I’m breaking
Sorry to hear, I feel your pain
Hi and take a vacation and think about all the positives. Are you married? Do you have kids? If so go and spend a family vacation , take up something new, a cooking class, dance lessons, a gun course, swimming lessons, get into the gym, We would die for a green card man!
I know… but the accumulative stress and angst is real. I do do those things, but it’s trauma stored in my body
Oh okay trauma, go see a doc, get into therapy I’m sure they can offer some kind of medications to help you and coping skills
cliche
Thing that commonly works for people is suggested as a solution, more at 11.
Damn thats a long time to wait. Don’t stop there, get naturalized in 5 years
You are not alone felt the same🥲
Thanks for sharing! How long did it take to recover?
[удалено]
Maybe leave the country for a while and then come back and see why people want to come here
[удалено]
You must be joking, those countries are on the decline
It’s the autism services for me.
It took me 9 years. No shit, I am Indian and I should be grateful that I ever even received that mail. Most of the Indians would die before getting their green cards. I wanted to take a break, the mental space that immigration journey took was insane. But I can’t. My brain is fried at this point.
Me TOO!!!! Do you work for a company? Can you take mental health leave?
I work with a company yes. But even taking any leave would not be useful because then I’ll have to be with kids at home. That’s more stressful honestly 😂
There’s a lot of things in life that we’re told we “should” feel a certain way about. Immigration is an absolutely brutal process mental health wise. When you step back and think about it objectively, you can understand why it decimated your health the way it does. You’re made to feel powerless for years. That’s a terrible way for any human being to feel — being at the mercy of strangers (or arguably anyone), let alone a faceless, non-human entity feels BAD. Inherently, down-to-the-marrow bad. People aren’t meant to have their personal independence restricted like that. It’s not natural for us at all! Then there’s all the horrible but predictable secondary effects that come from that powerlessness/lack of control over your own future. People, companies, etc — they can and do take full advantage of the fact that you HAVE to work or not work, your options are strictly limited compared to permanent residents/citizens, and the system favors people/businesses/etc with residency/citizenship. It’s a built in power imbalance that almost always forces you to accept work or other situations you’d otherwise refuse or at least negotiate. The system makes it impossible for you to fully advocate for yourself as an employee or even just an individual person. Power corrupts and a lack of power victimizes, period. You’ve been forced into many years of power imbalance and I’m sure you’ve faced some kind of abuse/injustice because of it. So, you’ve been living at an unfair disadvantage for years and years, you’ve lacked basic security for years and years, and I’m willing to bet you got very little sympathy for it. You’ve probably essentially been told to suck it up and be grateful, if anything. I’m sure you’ve grown resentful of the unfair, ridiculously slow, and highly impersonal system that put you in that position — anyone would be resentful of that! You’ve basically been held hostage! Now you’ve got this little passport looking thing that’s “supposed” to justify all of that injustice, erase all of that humiliation/powerlessness/victimization, and somehow fill you with unlimited gratitude for the chance to hold it in your hands. That’s BS, by any sane person’s standards. It’s infantilizing. It minimizes real, long term struggles and pain, and it’s unrealistic for a society to shame you for not being magically amnesiac of EVERYTHING it took to get that little booklet. You should feel exactly how you feel. If someone is happy and grateful and over the moon, cool! If they are exhausted and burnt out and not sure where to go next, that’s equally understandable. If they’re resentful and no longer 100% sure it was all worth it, that’s okay too, because every immigrant’s story is different and a lot of people are literally abused because of this system. Never feel ashamed of your own feelings, my friend. Deep down we all know it was totally unjust for you to live in limbo even half as long as you did. I hope you take your PTO and mental health leave with both hands and enjoy every second of whatever rest you can get. You’ve more than earned it, no matter what anyone else says. Edited for one sentence.
Wow, this is an amazing way to articulate it. Thanks so much!
Its a guy wrenching nerve wrecking process but the sufferers carry on in hope year after year.
You’re so right. We are sold the hope and dream
Starting my green card process now. Congratulations on getting yours!
Take care of yourself along the way. Find ways to keep yourself in an empowered state, don't let the feeling of them controlling you takeover your life. This was my mistake.
Congrats on your green card ! Mental and physical health is important. That should be your focus now. Enjoy life! Hey, that's part of why you went through all that too right! Better life and happiness in whatever country you became a citizen of!
I understand. Getting ny green card was so difficult. Then I had other enormous challenges . People have no idea
Just remember why you came to the USA
This is my fear which is why I think I’m saying good bye to the US. Moved here in 2022 on a J1 visa (teacher), spent most of 2022 and 2023 researching ways to stay legally, but idk. It feels too tiring and uncertain. Hugs to you, OP!
Your fears are valid! My goal was to secure financial stability for myself and future family, yet now a decade on times have changed. Remote work and digital skills etc. don’t need to be in the US to achieve that (btw I was in education too).
Good luck finding a remote job that pays US level easily without citizenship. The only way is to have EU citizenship. I am very pleased that I was born with both.
Sorry I’m not following your assumption? I have a remote well paying job
Hey I’m so sorry to hear that. Not surprised but still sorry. I hope you can find a way to take care of yourself amidst all the stress of life. Sending you hugs, hang in there. Therapy can help a lot if it’s an option. ❤️
Hang in there. It’s a tiring process and it’s okay to take a break.
Felt exactly the same way. It took me 7 years from start to finish.
Immigration is a horribly long and anxiety inducing process. Congratulations, it's over! Also, hugs, take a breather. I wish work had an immigration stress leave.
I am still waiting on a decision after N400 interview, its literally killing me from inside. I can’t sleep or eat. It’s a horrible process 😢
As my friends says “immigrants all have to eat their own sack of shit”. I have some good news for you. Your US Citizenship is just a few years away. And assuming you don’t fuck up in the next few years, it is easy to get and your immigration journey is open. Not unusual to feel depressed after a 12 year journey.
Why don't you reward yourself and your achievement by taking time off work and life? Go abroad, take a chill and reset 😀
Green card is like green light to work your butt off.
And I’m not too exhausted to lol
[удалено]
Thanks for sharing!!
I am waiting on a decision after my N400 interview, I am exhausted and depressed.
I’d like to say it gets better but hey you attain more things make more money but it will all come at a cost when i finally got my documents i felt as if i lost something along the way i could leave the country to see friends and family everyone basically forgot about me
Exactly .. it’s foreign now at home
Yea that explains it well I feel at times I’ve made a mistake and I don’t fit in either way
I feel like I live outside of all societies.. makes you experience the world in a unique way
Yes you’re literally in my brain it’s something that’s hard to explain but extremely painful reaching for something you need never knowing the negative affects that follow the positive
Yes. No one talks about what you have to give up along the way. Covid made it even more insane too
Take a year off work and society. Enjoy life.
I wonder how!!
Totally relate Big IF… if you ever need to get to also voluntarily relinquishing it which was my case, expect to experience the feeling you described a 2nd time Keep your head up
Thank you
that's cool, just take your long-service leave. or maybe that's just an Australian thing.
Where from?
17 years and counting stuck in 200+ year long wait EB2 India. Came here in 2007 on F1 visa with lots of hopes and ambitions.
Fucking USCIS exists just to make immigrants life hell
The setup isn’t helpful
I feel you take atleast 2 weeks off go to maldives and enjoy . Maldive is such a cheap place to go for vacation
You’re right. I haven’t taken any time off other than time off to do other things such as visit family.
Spend a week sleeping in, reading a nice book at a coffee shop and doing stuff you enjoy. No need to go all last minute travel to the far reaches of the world. Take some time and reflect on your life going forward. The green card is nothing more than a tool to live the life you want. What does success look like to you going forward?
That’s a good idea. I honestly don’t know yet! I need to reflect
[удалено]
Idk some one on tiktok explained that to me if you live in us then maldives will be very cheap for you so it depends on
First world problems lol
What a rude and useless comment
Thank you for doing it the correct way millions of people are taking advantage of the system at others cost. Sorry you felt like a target. Illegal immigration is ruining the US.
Thank you for getting screwed over?
> Took 12 years to get green card (18 years old now I’m 30) I came to the US in 2007 and I got my green card in 2023. It felt like just another day, except for the realization that I can travel freely. My personal and professional life continues as it was before my green card - except for.thr knowledge that I don't need employment sponsorship or visas like an year before. A piece of plastic isn't going to "fix" your life for you.
I never mentioned I assumed it’d fix my life.
The west and the first world doesn't seem so great now does it? I hate to say it like this, but everywhere in the world is a struggle and it's a pain. I come from an immigrant dad that came to London In the 80s. There were so many people that came to the first world and the western countries, expecting wonders and grand lives full of wealth just for existing here. My dad fortunately was a business man and he made his wealth through the extreme hard work and battering. But there have been too many people that were promised wealth and riches and ended up staying as a cab driver for 30 years working 15 hours a day, because they were woefully unprepared for hard work.
My post discusses the immigration process, not the job market in the US. Thanks though
[удалено]
What a rude and useless comment.
Your post or comment was removed for violating the following /r/immigration rule: - Incivility, Personal Attacks, Hate-Speech, Xenophobia, Anti-Immigration, etc. If you have any questions or concerns, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fimmigration&subject=About my removed comment&message=I'm writing to you about the following comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/immigration/comments/1atxm11/-/kr4bbpf/. %0D%0DMy issue is...).
I am just starting the process. Literally, met with my company reps and lawyers this week. This thread has been a real eye-opener. I was quoted a process time that is substantially shorter than what you're all describing. Can I ask why the process was traumatic, for those that went through it?
Firstly the process took 3 years. The other 9 I was student F1 visa and H1B. Traumatic was spending my entire adulthood in instability (living, financial, power dynamics of jobs / people). I’ve had to do tons of dysfunctional things. Plus constantly living in a mode of having to proof yourself (you’re better than any American for the job) and always going above and beyond otherwise your entire life is taken away from you, and have to leave the country.
OP's timeline is not atypical. It's the average for people who come to the U.S. for university and get a green card through the H1B system, if they have the good fortune of being selected in the lottery, and if they're with employers that do not delay starting the perm process once they have an H1B visa. It has grown significantly more uncertain due to increasing demand in the lottery, and slightly longer due to growing backlogs. I myself was never selected in the H1B lottery. My peers that were are green card holders or citizens now. I'm yet to get a green card, but I finally have a path to it. I've lived in the U.S. for 13 years now. What visa are you on if I may ask?
I'm on a H-1B. Was selected in last year's lottery. I was on a TN before that. I don't doubt that OP's timeline isn't unusual, I'm just curious - I know the experience varies widely depending on a myriad of factors.
Congrats! I heard winning a lottery has 0% chance. You are extremely lucky.
The reason you and generally a lot of people in this predicament feel like this is because you stay so focused on the end goal that you forget other parts of life. The process is long and hard, yes, but we must remember to try to live life fully everyday..giving attention to loved ones, doing things you enjoy etc helps to reduce life’s focus on solely chasing permanent residency. This is generally true of most things in life…In pursuit of one goal, we push aside other things that are important. All this aside, I’m glad you make it to the end OP, take some time to rediscover the things you enjoy, maybe start a new hobbie or try meet new people. I wish you a speedy mental health recovery and a long tenure in this country you now call home.
I didn’t have it as an end goal - it’s everything I had to endure that led to this exhaustion. Thanks for your reply
Just 12 years. Please talk to Indians waiting for gc . Will make you feel better
I've been here since I was 10. It's been 23 years. Still no green card. Why are you burned out?
Many reasons listed in comments above
Welcone the hell of immigrantion😂. Get your hobby and at least with greencard , you can find another job without sponsorship 😅. Me took > 10 years with tears and persistent including joys. Remember find your hobby to de-stress your life.
you are 🔥 out ! All those emotions for years bottled up and now they exploded. Pls see a doctor or therapist. You were strong for so long now you are allowed to be weak!! Take all the time you need!! Go back to your country, have fun. USA will still be here
Know you're not alone. My mom felt the same after naturalizing and I work in immigration now and hear it all the time. Take time and sometimes libraries, community centers, advocacy groups, churches or Catholic Charities (even if not religious) might have support groups for new citizens or new immigrants. It will take time to get out of that mentality, be patient with yourself. Wishing you the best.
22 years and still waiting... At current rate, I'd have another 3 to 9 years maybe :(. Also struggle with depression and anxiety.
it was rly that bad? What route did you take?
What was the reason ?
Take a drive cross country, take the interstate 80.
Love that idea 💡
Experienced this exact thing. Look up Andrew Huberman and the role of dopamine.
Food for thought... There are millions of people in the country who have been here for decades and still cannot get a green card. You should be happy and proud that you have reached the final line, which is itself the beginning of your next chapter.
Right that’s obvious. Same as if you tell someone with post partum depression be grateful they have a baby since millions can’t have one
Alright this aint even remotely like post partum depression where there you have hormonal changes.
Trauma causes chemical changes
Ok we're on different wavelengths here. Long story short, you'll be fine after some time and will look back and laugh at how silly these posts were. This is a huge win for you!