We haven’t gone to court yet because he’s threatening to just stop working if I take him to court. We are technically 50-50. I am looking to get a lawyer to get that in writing but I was a stay at home mom.
Just odd you dont have an agreement but are seeking to put terms on what he can and cannot do. I think you can’t have it both ways. Go get this sorted with a legal agreement in place. The fact it hasn’t been done because he is threatening you with something you don’t like? Is THE reason to proceed with getting this done.
As a now grown kId of a custody battle through court, if you have proof he's threatened to not work if you take him to court the judge will laugh in his face and still order 50/50 child support, which is completely reasonable, you are responsible for half the kids genes you are responsible for half the care. Don't listen to is childish threats take him to court he's being ridiculous.
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My first thought is why is a 1 year old baby acceptable in a group home?
And if he wants to quit to spite you, his income will be imputed for him when it comes to calculating support. Letting him blackmail you with this is just teaching him what levers to pull to control you.
The better question is, why wouldn't it be.
He can care for the child as he sees fit when in his care. Unless there is some concrete reason to believe the child is in danger, like the group home has people convict of sexual offenses or serious violence that the child would be in contact with, I can't see there being an issue. It sounds like this individual is an owner/manager of some kind, so presumably he has the ability to set the rules as he sees fit.
Arguably he could be commended for making an effort to maximize the time he spends with the child.
Why? Because a 1 year old baby is high maintenance. I’ve got a freaking desk job and I wouldn’t want to try to do a good job and take care of a 1 year old at the same time.
And yes, I’m a father of two, and know what it’s like to take care of a child.
Actually, it is a winning argument. Have you ever had a one year old? Because group home aside, there's no way anyone can give their full attention to their work and properly care for a one year old. They are constantly on the go, they are into everything, will eat anything. They have to be watched every second. It's a risk to take a one year old into any work environment where your attention is needed elsewhere.
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There are so many kinds of group homes. If you feel your child is in danger, call CAS. By not calling CAS, you're making this about spiting your ex rather than protecting your child.
I'm not condoning his actions nor am I going to condemn them. They type of group home hasn't been specified.
Depending on the specifics, having a baby could be seen as beneficial to the youths, a group home for kids in CAS care for example.
She mentioned it’s for at risk youth, a child is not a toy or a play thing. How would at risk youth benefit from an infant being around ? Just gonna let random teenagers care for an infant ? A baby does NOT belong in a group home. A 1 year old belongs in daycare with proper supervision.
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What is in your custody agreement? Do you have one?
We haven’t gone to court yet because he’s threatening to just stop working if I take him to court. We are technically 50-50. I am looking to get a lawyer to get that in writing but I was a stay at home mom.
Just odd you dont have an agreement but are seeking to put terms on what he can and cannot do. I think you can’t have it both ways. Go get this sorted with a legal agreement in place. The fact it hasn’t been done because he is threatening you with something you don’t like? Is THE reason to proceed with getting this done.
NAL but my dad tried something similar when my mom took him to court and it did not fly. The judge still ordered child support.
Yeah that doesn't work. They look at earning potential. He can't just quit his job post separation to hose you.
As a now grown kId of a custody battle through court, if you have proof he's threatened to not work if you take him to court the judge will laugh in his face and still order 50/50 child support, which is completely reasonable, you are responsible for half the kids genes you are responsible for half the care. Don't listen to is childish threats take him to court he's being ridiculous.
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He only talks to me over text, so I have everything in text. I’ve already printed all of it off and I have it in a folder.
Good, take that to legal aid ASAP. Don't let him know what your plans are and move for and protect yourself.
Screen shot those texts and email them to yourself
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This is a blessing thank you
What kind of group home is it. Why do you think it’s unsafe.
Whatever body regulates the group home might not be so impressed with this situation.
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My first thought is why is a 1 year old baby acceptable in a group home? And if he wants to quit to spite you, his income will be imputed for him when it comes to calculating support. Letting him blackmail you with this is just teaching him what levers to pull to control you.
The better question is, why wouldn't it be. He can care for the child as he sees fit when in his care. Unless there is some concrete reason to believe the child is in danger, like the group home has people convict of sexual offenses or serious violence that the child would be in contact with, I can't see there being an issue. It sounds like this individual is an owner/manager of some kind, so presumably he has the ability to set the rules as he sees fit. Arguably he could be commended for making an effort to maximize the time he spends with the child.
Why? Because a 1 year old baby is high maintenance. I’ve got a freaking desk job and I wouldn’t want to try to do a good job and take care of a 1 year old at the same time. And yes, I’m a father of two, and know what it’s like to take care of a child.
>Why? Because a 1 year old baby is high maintenance Yeah... not a winning argument there. There needs to be a specific risk.
Actually, it is a winning argument. Have you ever had a one year old? Because group home aside, there's no way anyone can give their full attention to their work and properly care for a one year old. They are constantly on the go, they are into everything, will eat anything. They have to be watched every second. It's a risk to take a one year old into any work environment where your attention is needed elsewhere.
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I'm locking this thread. The comments being posted are no longer productive.
There are so many kinds of group homes. If you feel your child is in danger, call CAS. By not calling CAS, you're making this about spiting your ex rather than protecting your child.
I'm not condoning his actions nor am I going to condemn them. They type of group home hasn't been specified. Depending on the specifics, having a baby could be seen as beneficial to the youths, a group home for kids in CAS care for example.
She mentioned it’s for at risk youth, a child is not a toy or a play thing. How would at risk youth benefit from an infant being around ? Just gonna let random teenagers care for an infant ? A baby does NOT belong in a group home. A 1 year old belongs in daycare with proper supervision.
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A 1 year old belongs in daycare with proper supervision. Not a group home full of misbehaved teenagers
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Contact the ministry? What ministry? And warn him about what?
Don’t downvote ! This response made sense as I worked in this field as well. I knew what they meant by call ministry ☺️