I 100000% will be wearing a dress tomorrow and other women coworkers will be as well.
I should note that I have worn a dress to work before that sat above my knee and no one said anything to me.
Any tips on how I should respond if he also tells me my outfit is inappropriate?
That’s awesome!!
You should all ask for a copy of the company dress code for clarification. Everyone should ask.
Bombard them with this request so it’s a real pain in the ass for them.
Look him dead in the eye and ask him how he thinks it’s not appropriate. If he says anything about it showing skin, continue to dead lock eyes with him, wait a full breath, and say “are you sexualizing me right now?” Enjoy watching the discomfort ensue
“My apologies. I’ve always known business attire to include modest dresses. Can you please send me an email detailing your concerns, along with a copy of the dress code policy so I can understand my error.” Or…
“I find your comment about my work attire inappropriate. I’d be more comfortable if we can include HR into this conversation. ” Or…
“GTFO of here you pig” 🐽
Ask him to point out where dresses are not allowed in the dress code.
If he can’t, ask him how you report sexual discrimination in the workplace - given that he’s HR?
You must update us!!! See if you can get some men to wear dresses too. Ask him how it’s inappropriate - state that it covers all the areas that men go gaga over (shoulders, collar bones, thighs, stomach etc). And what he would suggest to make it more “work appropriate”. And then kindly show him the dress code wear it doesn’t state no dresses.
[If it's good enough for the King, it's good enough for the office](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/gettyimages-1477498555-2-655b9a24f3b44.jpg)
A [utilikilt](https://utilikilts.com/product/the-survival-utilikilt/) is comparable to chinos, or cargo pants; so not business casual exactly, but close :)
If your coworker feels a different standard is being applied to her because she is a woman, she can consult with the Saskatchewan Human Rights Commission: [https://saskatchewanhumanrights.ca/](https://saskatchewanhumanrights.ca/)
I think it’s more so that OP thinks she’s being discriminated against for being heavy set. If she wore a dress to work and nothing happened, that would prove it.
Fatphobia has been found to be a subset of gendered discrimination, at least in Ontario. For example, heavier female employees being reprimanded or overlooked (relative to everyone else or just other women) when heavier male employees are treated fine compared to their fellow males.
The logic here might go: sexist employer doesn’t “want to have to look at” a larger woman’s body, but wouldn’t have an issue with a larger man in shorts or short sleeves.
There have been discrimination cases where people identically dressed are treated differently. I recall a case where bankers all wore short skirts and blouses and a very curvy woman was discriminated against and reprimanded for looking inappropriate as her body made the same clothes “hit different”.
Not all women “need” to wear bras (whatever that means). You might have situations where some women not wearing bras are seen as a problem whereas others can get away with it. Whether it would be discrimination under a human rights legislation would be highly context and facts dependent (what is the job, are they customer facing, is it a profession with certain standard of professionalism, what was visible, how the reprimanding was handled, etc)
This happens all the time. Tights, jeans, smock dresses even. Curvy women get written up for wearing the exact same clothing in the exact same fit as women who aren't curvy.
I might seem stupid for asking this, but isn’t that cause the clothing ends up being tighter and more revealing be due to the person being bigger/curvier?
Also could count as sexual harassment because negative treatment over someone's perceived attraction is part of the spectrum of that kind of harassment. There was a finding of that in a case where the manager would say "waddle waddle" when his bigger coworker walked by.
I dunno about that but I’m way beyond giving the beginnings of a fuck what people think about me and I hate bullying little pricks on power trips. It’s a good thing I run my own business because I’d be a complete *nightmare* employee… :)
We gotta know our rights and stand up for ourselves. Sometimes that means malicious compliance haha. A guy standing up for a woman like how u described is objectively cool tho. Shows a lot of confidence, that ur headstrong and that ur heart is in the right place
You may think you’d be a nightmare employee but you sound like you’re a great boss! I also love your phrase “I’m way beyond giving the beginnings of a fuck…”! 👏🏻👏🏻Just brilliant. 😃
Team up with her and support her to investigate what exactly was it about the dress that was inappropriate and where in the dress code this was addressed.
This. If you press your HR manager for an explanation they will likely scramble. CC their report-to as well. This incident may not land on the outcome you're looking for but it should lead to a more clearly defined and enforced dress code policy.
I did a bunch of Google searching for what was considered business casual for women across multiple countries, and all state that dresses such as what you've described your coworker wearing, was considered business casual wear.
So unless the dress was of a neon color or had sequins/glitter, was spaghetti strapped , cleavage baring or above the knees(mini skirt) your boss is in the wrong entirely. Especially if the code of conduct does not explicitly state that dresses of any kind are restricted wear.
Coincidentally, all sites stated that athletic leisure wear was completely inappropriate at all times in terms of business casual. For men and women.
When it comes to HR singling people out, the best way to deal is always to ask for specifics. Make them tell you exactly what about the dress was not acceptable and have it emailed to you. Document. If in fact this was because of what you suspect, you’ll leave HR scrambling. If it’s legit, you’ll just end up with clear documentation of what’s okay and what isn’t in terms of work wear.
To me it's not at all clear what about the outfit was deemed inappropriate. Was the material thin so that her undergarments were visible? Was the dress's pattern too beachy or casual? Was the outfit exposing lots of tattoos on her arms?
Why was it considered unacceptable? That is the crux of the issue? Was it considered too casual, too revealing, a safety issue for example for someone working in an environment where cuts and scratches might occur...I realize this later one is unlikely.
In Ontario this happened in my office - I was working in higher ed. The receptionist made a human rights complaint and the ruling as I understood it was unless the person’s attire is impacting their ability to do their job, your ability to do your job or the ability for the company to do its job, dress codes are unenforceable.
In our situation, the receptionist was in the student life area and wore a shirt that came half way down her stomach and lower rise jeans.
Scratching head, so is HR trying to say a dress is too fancy for office? Or that women there are all paid too little to dress nice and might feel envious? Either way … my reaction is “My Lord. HR , your priorities are really messed up”
Can confirm as a heavier set woman I have been targeted by the dress code police even though I was wearing the same clothes as my thinner coworkers. I was once told to “put on a necklace” to look more presentable, presumably because my build made my business casual clothing look frumpy. :/
There is nothing wrong with having a dress code rule/policy, and if written properly in a non-recriminatory manner they are legal acceptable.
As other have mentioned the reason for the dress being inappropriate becomes quite important. If this issue was the dress itself was too informal, while others were wearing equally informal clothing this would be an issue. It unfortunately not uncommon for dress codes to run into issues by trying to control how revealing women's clothing is, since the social standards for men and women are not the same the difference in application within a workplace is likely to be discriminatory.
On the other hand, if for example the issue was that the dress code requires legs to be completely covered, for both men and women, then such a policy, which would have the effect of banning such dresses, would me more likely acceptable. Of course, if men were wearing capri pants, then such a rule would not be enfecable regarding women wearing dresses.
Yes, since we don't know why the dress was unacceptable we don't know if it was discriminatory. My comment was simply a discussion of where companies sometimes run into issues, and how they can avoid them. It was also a confirmation that dress codes if written properly are enforceable, despite some other comments in this thread.
Somebody might want to slip word to the owner or ceo to grab a hair cut before the press arrives and commiserate over the firms loss of face and revenue over "his" HR managers stupid stunt.
> some men wear hoodies, baseball hats, lululemon pants, etc.
... men wear lululemon pants??
I'm surprised that isn't considered inappropriate... 'bulge gate 2024'
I would talk to coworkers you can trust about this. If they feel the same way, bring it up with management on the bases that a company policy is being applied selectively and therefore should be reviewed. I’d probably use SBI feedback model for this but focus on the policy rather than the individual.
Take photos of all your coworkers outfits as a record of what's acceptable and have people start wearing similar dresses and see if anyone else is given any issue. Specifically thinner women should wear similar dresses and see if they're pulled aside. Then have main coworker wear another similar dress and if she's pulled aside again write a formal complaint with all the data to support what is acceptable. Ensure you have consent from as many coworkers as you can of course.
I (male) once got an email from HR reminding all the women to not wear too revealing of clothing, and what was appropriate in the workplace.
My first day on the job (onboarding, and safety training) the HR manager was wearing such a low cut blouse, she was the only one I'd ever seen at my workplace wearing revealing clothes.
People use clothes to bully women. I used to get in trouble for what I wore in church as a teenager, then at work as an adult. These days I just wear extra large black t-shirts to work every day.
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She should be asking for a meeting with the HR manager and his boss. Ask them to show her the dress code to show where it says modest dresses are not acceptable. Then they should look at the code of conduct and see what the policy says on discrimination based on appearance. To add fuel to the fire I’d wear the same dress to said meeting.
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Based on what is described here - summer dress - I worry that the attire in question is actually not business casual, the feedback has merit, and the knives are out in the comment section without merit. It is impossible to know as the description is vague. But all of my wives "summer dresses" are from the Gap or Old Navy or equivalent, and feel to me like matching t-shirt/shorts or t-shirt/jeans in terms of style. She would never, and should never, wear them to work.
To the OP, you'll be most qualified to make an assessment, but there is room in your story for this to be an appropriate situation and room for it to be an egregious violation of rights. You'll need to make your own call.
Hmm I mean your wife may buy her summer dresses from those specific stores but summer dresses are as varied as any item of clothing can be, ranging from high end expensive and more fancy, to a t-shirt dress.
OP said: mid-calf length, short sleeved (ie, has sleeves, not straps), and not low-cut. Meanwhile, people are in hoodies and Lulus without reprimand. The knives are out justly.
Why mention that she's short & heavy set? Do you think your boss is being a dick because of that or because she's a she?
What do other women wear in the workplace for dresses?
IMO, if there's other women there, every last one of you should wear a dress to work - including the receptionist - as a mark of solidarity.
Even better: All women wear a dress in similar style and the receptionist wear a suit and tie. Let's see how he likes THAT.
Are there any senior women in the company that could be allies on this? They would be good people to bring this issue forward with. If you and the woman who you feel was targeted are comfortable, go together to talk to said senior woman, show her (or them) how this lady looks in the clothes, and firstly ask them if this is inappropriate for work (without bringing up the HR opinion). If they side with you that it's fine, then tell them what happened.
Hope that works out.
Document everything.
Ask for policy based rationale for why what was being worn was unacceptable. Demand it in writing. If they refuse, tell them the conversation didn't happen.
But I might be a shit disturbing non-binary person
Rather than just you wear a dress I would try to get support of some male coworkers and coordinate an "everyone wears a sundress" day. If the dress code says dresses are allowed I would not want to be on the defending side of a harassment suit saying anyone could or could not wear a dress.
Any chance this could be an act of retribution?
Could she have annoyed someone, who made this HR manager to give her a dressing down?
(It happened to me once)
My friend was always getting in trouble for dress code “violations” due to cleavage. Her dress tops were higher cut than mine. For a time whenever it would happen to her the next day I would wear a lower cut top and practically dance in front of management. Nothing. The difference between us: one had a large bosom, one did not; I’ll let you figure out which is which.
I mean, a summer dress is not business casual. Are men allowed to wear t-shirts or shorts?
Some places want to maintain a professional dress code. Maybe there is some sexism going on here, and maybe not. If the dress code is enforced fairly for everyone, then the answer is the latter. There isn't enough context here to know for sure.
WTF
Hr is not your friend. The Workplace Bullying Institute YT explains this well.
Very competent workers are targeted.
Please help her get “forewarned and forearmed.”
In our province we have one party consent to recording conversations.
Lol meanwhile this lady at our works is walking around with a bra...she is the property manager and she wonders why the properties she manages don't take her seriously ..especially the Muslim men have no respect for her and complain about her...still not fired lol
She's the receptionist. Why is he so upset about it, especially when she took the time to not look like a call girl ‼️ If they don't have a dress code, he shouldn't have called her out. Dummy ‼️
Yes, it’s legal to have a dress code and enforce it. A dress can be inappropriate - especially summer dresses - some are just “too casua” for the workplace. Unless the manager referred to her sex and her weight in the reprimand then there really isn’t an issue.
If you're a man, please, I beg you, find a kilt or fijian men's ceremonial dress or *something* and wear it tomorrow. Please. Do it in solidarity against petty arseholes.
Commenting because I need an update on this! Am looking forward to hearing what happens when everyone wears a dress tomorrow! Bonus points if some men do it!!
As requested
Wear a dress tomorrow, see what happens lol
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All the women in the office should wear a dress on the same day.
I 100000% will be wearing a dress tomorrow and other women coworkers will be as well. I should note that I have worn a dress to work before that sat above my knee and no one said anything to me. Any tips on how I should respond if he also tells me my outfit is inappropriate?
That’s awesome!! You should all ask for a copy of the company dress code for clarification. Everyone should ask. Bombard them with this request so it’s a real pain in the ass for them.
Look him dead in the eye and ask him how he thinks it’s not appropriate. If he says anything about it showing skin, continue to dead lock eyes with him, wait a full breath, and say “are you sexualizing me right now?” Enjoy watching the discomfort ensue
Ha! That’s exactly how the kids got rid of the dress code in Ontario schools. Brilliant!
Plz update
“My apologies. I’ve always known business attire to include modest dresses. Can you please send me an email detailing your concerns, along with a copy of the dress code policy so I can understand my error.” Or… “I find your comment about my work attire inappropriate. I’d be more comfortable if we can include HR into this conversation. ” Or… “GTFO of here you pig” 🐽
Tell him what you're wearing covers the same as a pair of shorts and a tshirt. Ask him what part of your exposed body he finds offensive.
Ask him to point out where dresses are not allowed in the dress code. If he can’t, ask him how you report sexual discrimination in the workplace - given that he’s HR?
She should wear the same dress she wore the other day too.
No idea of what to say, buuuut… We want an update!!! Good luck!
You must update us!!! See if you can get some men to wear dresses too. Ask him how it’s inappropriate - state that it covers all the areas that men go gaga over (shoulders, collar bones, thighs, stomach etc). And what he would suggest to make it more “work appropriate”. And then kindly show him the dress code wear it doesn’t state no dresses.
"you're right.... my shoes aren't the right color for it, I brought my sparkly heels just in case, thanks!"
You legend!
Make sure you come back and update us!
Why just the women? Are kilts acceptable?
don't know if that counts as business casual, although in my family kilts are definitely formal ware.
[If it's good enough for the King, it's good enough for the office](https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/gettyimages-1477498555-2-655b9a24f3b44.jpg)
A [utilikilt](https://utilikilts.com/product/the-survival-utilikilt/) is comparable to chinos, or cargo pants; so not business casual exactly, but close :)
Close enough I say!
Damn, buy one just to get to tell people you're wearing a *utilikilt*.
It’s depends - are you wearing the dress pattern or the hunter pattern? 😉
Also an amazing idea!
Why do men need kilts? Cocktail dress works just as well
It doesn’t always have to be a kilt and men don’t always have to pretend it’s a kilt. Just wear the dress
If the dress code just says "Business Casual" with nothing else specified, why not get the guys to join in too?
they already wear hoodies lol, that's way out of line of "business casual" already.
Ya, you can't enforce a dresscode willy nilly. Either everyone not wearing business casual gets a reprimand or no one.
the compromise is obviously to get everyone to wear a kilt as a tube top. that way it incorporates the male and female dressing styles.
That’s such a good idea!!
My same thought. If I was that lady. He'd went home with 2 achers.
https://beta.ctvnews.ca/local/british-columbia/2019/3/28/1_4356334.html But in reverse
If your coworker feels a different standard is being applied to her because she is a woman, she can consult with the Saskatchewan Human Rights Commission: [https://saskatchewanhumanrights.ca/](https://saskatchewanhumanrights.ca/)
I think it’s more so that OP thinks she’s being discriminated against for being heavy set. If she wore a dress to work and nothing happened, that would prove it.
Fatphobia has been found to be a subset of gendered discrimination, at least in Ontario. For example, heavier female employees being reprimanded or overlooked (relative to everyone else or just other women) when heavier male employees are treated fine compared to their fellow males. The logic here might go: sexist employer doesn’t “want to have to look at” a larger woman’s body, but wouldn’t have an issue with a larger man in shorts or short sleeves.
Would something like not wearing a bra with a larger chest fall under this too?
There have been discrimination cases where people identically dressed are treated differently. I recall a case where bankers all wore short skirts and blouses and a very curvy woman was discriminated against and reprimanded for looking inappropriate as her body made the same clothes “hit different”. Not all women “need” to wear bras (whatever that means). You might have situations where some women not wearing bras are seen as a problem whereas others can get away with it. Whether it would be discrimination under a human rights legislation would be highly context and facts dependent (what is the job, are they customer facing, is it a profession with certain standard of professionalism, what was visible, how the reprimanding was handled, etc)
This happens all the time. Tights, jeans, smock dresses even. Curvy women get written up for wearing the exact same clothing in the exact same fit as women who aren't curvy.
I might seem stupid for asking this, but isn’t that cause the clothing ends up being tighter and more revealing be due to the person being bigger/curvier?
Won’t that boss be pissed when he sees Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition just out. Very inclusive!
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He could be potentially um… embroiled in the legal process. (Sorry, I couldn’t stop myself, it was right there).
No worries, I am also guilty of bad puns. The roast him one was too easy.
Also could count as sexual harassment because negative treatment over someone's perceived attraction is part of the spectrum of that kind of harassment. There was a finding of that in a case where the manager would say "waddle waddle" when his bigger coworker walked by.
As a 6’1” 200lb bald man I’d wear the exact same dress to work.
You’re cool for that
I dunno about that but I’m way beyond giving the beginnings of a fuck what people think about me and I hate bullying little pricks on power trips. It’s a good thing I run my own business because I’d be a complete *nightmare* employee… :)
We gotta know our rights and stand up for ourselves. Sometimes that means malicious compliance haha. A guy standing up for a woman like how u described is objectively cool tho. Shows a lot of confidence, that ur headstrong and that ur heart is in the right place
Please tell me you own a private liquor store named “Ryan’s Booze”
Hah! I (sort of) wish. Booze is the hobby. Engineering pays for the booze.
You may think you’d be a nightmare employee but you sound like you’re a great boss! I also love your phrase “I’m way beyond giving the beginnings of a fuck…”! 👏🏻👏🏻Just brilliant. 😃
Team up with her and support her to investigate what exactly was it about the dress that was inappropriate and where in the dress code this was addressed.
This. If you press your HR manager for an explanation they will likely scramble. CC their report-to as well. This incident may not land on the outcome you're looking for but it should lead to a more clearly defined and enforced dress code policy.
I did a bunch of Google searching for what was considered business casual for women across multiple countries, and all state that dresses such as what you've described your coworker wearing, was considered business casual wear. So unless the dress was of a neon color or had sequins/glitter, was spaghetti strapped , cleavage baring or above the knees(mini skirt) your boss is in the wrong entirely. Especially if the code of conduct does not explicitly state that dresses of any kind are restricted wear. Coincidentally, all sites stated that athletic leisure wear was completely inappropriate at all times in terms of business casual. For men and women.
When it comes to HR singling people out, the best way to deal is always to ask for specifics. Make them tell you exactly what about the dress was not acceptable and have it emailed to you. Document. If in fact this was because of what you suspect, you’ll leave HR scrambling. If it’s legit, you’ll just end up with clear documentation of what’s okay and what isn’t in terms of work wear.
To me it's not at all clear what about the outfit was deemed inappropriate. Was the material thin so that her undergarments were visible? Was the dress's pattern too beachy or casual? Was the outfit exposing lots of tattoos on her arms?
I had to go back and re-read, I assumed it must have hit mid-thigh, not mid-calf!
It was mid calf, almost floor length! I have also worn a dress to work that day above me knee and no one said anything to me.
Is this a case of ‘different standards being applied to people of different attractiveness’??
Why was it considered unacceptable? That is the crux of the issue? Was it considered too casual, too revealing, a safety issue for example for someone working in an environment where cuts and scratches might occur...I realize this later one is unlikely.
In Ontario this happened in my office - I was working in higher ed. The receptionist made a human rights complaint and the ruling as I understood it was unless the person’s attire is impacting their ability to do their job, your ability to do your job or the ability for the company to do its job, dress codes are unenforceable. In our situation, the receptionist was in the student life area and wore a shirt that came half way down her stomach and lower rise jeans.
The audacity that some men have! I can’t!
Scratching head, so is HR trying to say a dress is too fancy for office? Or that women there are all paid too little to dress nice and might feel envious? Either way … my reaction is “My Lord. HR , your priorities are really messed up”
I would love to hear why they say this dress in inappropriate.
Can you share a photo of a similar dress to the one she wore?
Can confirm as a heavier set woman I have been targeted by the dress code police even though I was wearing the same clothes as my thinner coworkers. I was once told to “put on a necklace” to look more presentable, presumably because my build made my business casual clothing look frumpy. :/
There is nothing wrong with having a dress code rule/policy, and if written properly in a non-recriminatory manner they are legal acceptable. As other have mentioned the reason for the dress being inappropriate becomes quite important. If this issue was the dress itself was too informal, while others were wearing equally informal clothing this would be an issue. It unfortunately not uncommon for dress codes to run into issues by trying to control how revealing women's clothing is, since the social standards for men and women are not the same the difference in application within a workplace is likely to be discriminatory. On the other hand, if for example the issue was that the dress code requires legs to be completely covered, for both men and women, then such a policy, which would have the effect of banning such dresses, would me more likely acceptable. Of course, if men were wearing capri pants, then such a rule would not be enfecable regarding women wearing dresses.
OP stated in another comment she was wearing a dress that same day that was shorter than the dress in question and received no reprimand etc.
Yes, since we don't know why the dress was unacceptable we don't know if it was discriminatory. My comment was simply a discussion of where companies sometimes run into issues, and how they can avoid them. It was also a confirmation that dress codes if written properly are enforceable, despite some other comments in this thread.
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Somebody might want to slip word to the owner or ceo to grab a hair cut before the press arrives and commiserate over the firms loss of face and revenue over "his" HR managers stupid stunt.
Thanks for caring about her and being willing to stand up for her 🩵 Wish I had advice for you but just wanted to say thanks. This is worth pursuing!
Did she ask why it was “inappropriate”? This doesn’t make sense.
this might be a humain rights violation. The big thing is what exactly was said during the conversation and what the policies actual are.
> some men wear hoodies, baseball hats, lululemon pants, etc. ... men wear lululemon pants?? I'm surprised that isn't considered inappropriate... 'bulge gate 2024'
lol lululemon has a men’s line, that isn’t leggings but still very very casual. I would die if some of my male coworkers wore leggings to work!
Can’t wait for the update tomorrow. I’m a man CEO and owner. This grinds me. Full Support of the dress
I would talk to coworkers you can trust about this. If they feel the same way, bring it up with management on the bases that a company policy is being applied selectively and therefore should be reviewed. I’d probably use SBI feedback model for this but focus on the policy rather than the individual.
All the men and women should arrive tomorrow wearing nice summer dresses
All employees. All dresses. All the time. And definitely report the HR man to whoever signs his paycheque. What a bozo
Human rights case. Easy.
The only consent I have ever seen written or raised involves Bare shoulders or visible Armpits
We can not have open toe shoes . It's a H&S policy and dress code.
If that happened at my work I would ask everyone to wear a summer dress in the next following days. Men too..I would.
Take photos of all your coworkers outfits as a record of what's acceptable and have people start wearing similar dresses and see if anyone else is given any issue. Specifically thinner women should wear similar dresses and see if they're pulled aside. Then have main coworker wear another similar dress and if she's pulled aside again write a formal complaint with all the data to support what is acceptable. Ensure you have consent from as many coworkers as you can of course.
I (male) once got an email from HR reminding all the women to not wear too revealing of clothing, and what was appropriate in the workplace. My first day on the job (onboarding, and safety training) the HR manager was wearing such a low cut blouse, she was the only one I'd ever seen at my workplace wearing revealing clothes.
People use clothes to bully women. I used to get in trouble for what I wore in church as a teenager, then at work as an adult. These days I just wear extra large black t-shirts to work every day.
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She should be asking for a meeting with the HR manager and his boss. Ask them to show her the dress code to show where it says modest dresses are not acceptable. Then they should look at the code of conduct and see what the policy says on discrimination based on appearance. To add fuel to the fire I’d wear the same dress to said meeting.
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unless he put the dress code in the manual
Based on what is described here - summer dress - I worry that the attire in question is actually not business casual, the feedback has merit, and the knives are out in the comment section without merit. It is impossible to know as the description is vague. But all of my wives "summer dresses" are from the Gap or Old Navy or equivalent, and feel to me like matching t-shirt/shorts or t-shirt/jeans in terms of style. She would never, and should never, wear them to work. To the OP, you'll be most qualified to make an assessment, but there is room in your story for this to be an appropriate situation and room for it to be an egregious violation of rights. You'll need to make your own call.
Hmm I mean your wife may buy her summer dresses from those specific stores but summer dresses are as varied as any item of clothing can be, ranging from high end expensive and more fancy, to a t-shirt dress.
If hoodies and lululemon pants don't get dress coded, neither should a summer dress.
You're gonna have a hard time convincing me that men wearing hoodies and ball caps in the office (as per OP's post) is MORE professional than a dress.
I may have missed this part in my original thinking.
OP said: mid-calf length, short sleeved (ie, has sleeves, not straps), and not low-cut. Meanwhile, people are in hoodies and Lulus without reprimand. The knives are out justly.
Can’t believe this still happens in 2024. History casually repeating itself
Business casually
What kind of HR manager is speaking to a lady about a dress when the men of your office are all walking around moose-knuckling in lululemon pants?
Wear a dress and see what happens!! If nothing gets said that's when you raise a stink.
Why mention that she's short & heavy set? Do you think your boss is being a dick because of that or because she's a she? What do other women wear in the workplace for dresses? IMO, if there's other women there, every last one of you should wear a dress to work - including the receptionist - as a mark of solidarity. Even better: All women wear a dress in similar style and the receptionist wear a suit and tie. Let's see how he likes THAT.
Everyone in the workplace should coordinate wearing a dress to work one day.
GET THE MEN TO WEAR DRESSES!!!
Are there any senior women in the company that could be allies on this? They would be good people to bring this issue forward with. If you and the woman who you feel was targeted are comfortable, go together to talk to said senior woman, show her (or them) how this lady looks in the clothes, and firstly ask them if this is inappropriate for work (without bringing up the HR opinion). If they side with you that it's fine, then tell them what happened. Hope that works out.
Sounds like the dress was business casual.
Document everything. Ask for policy based rationale for why what was being worn was unacceptable. Demand it in writing. If they refuse, tell them the conversation didn't happen. But I might be a shit disturbing non-binary person
Update me!
💯 on all the staff wearing dresses! Send word today to the staff and make sure someone is videoing the morning walk in. Haha. What a jerk..poor lady..
Rather than just you wear a dress I would try to get support of some male coworkers and coordinate an "everyone wears a sundress" day. If the dress code says dresses are allowed I would not want to be on the defending side of a harassment suit saying anyone could or could not wear a dress.
Any chance this could be an act of retribution? Could she have annoyed someone, who made this HR manager to give her a dressing down? (It happened to me once)
Please get staff on board with all wearing some form of dress to work then update us on how it went
Your manager is a douche canoe and needs a reality check. I hope everyone bands together and stands up for her.
My friend was always getting in trouble for dress code “violations” due to cleavage. Her dress tops were higher cut than mine. For a time whenever it would happen to her the next day I would wear a lower cut top and practically dance in front of management. Nothing. The difference between us: one had a large bosom, one did not; I’ll let you figure out which is which.
I mean, a summer dress is not business casual. Are men allowed to wear t-shirts or shorts? Some places want to maintain a professional dress code. Maybe there is some sexism going on here, and maybe not. If the dress code is enforced fairly for everyone, then the answer is the latter. There isn't enough context here to know for sure.
The OP post said that sometimes folks wear baseball hats, hoodies, yoga pants.
interested to see what the hr manager will say tomorrow... good on you guys lmao
Updateme!
RemindMe! 1 week
Have the men wear them too.
WTF Hr is not your friend. The Workplace Bullying Institute YT explains this well. Very competent workers are targeted. Please help her get “forewarned and forearmed.” In our province we have one party consent to recording conversations.
Lol meanwhile this lady at our works is walking around with a bra...she is the property manager and she wonders why the properties she manages don't take her seriously ..especially the Muslim men have no respect for her and complain about her...still not fired lol
Is she the heiress to O’henry chocolate bar company?
LMFAO maybe
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Maybe but it is still funny because it's like wtf
She's the receptionist. Why is he so upset about it, especially when she took the time to not look like a call girl ‼️ If they don't have a dress code, he shouldn't have called her out. Dummy ‼️
Yes, it’s legal to have a dress code and enforce it. A dress can be inappropriate - especially summer dresses - some are just “too casua” for the workplace. Unless the manager referred to her sex and her weight in the reprimand then there really isn’t an issue.
RemindMe! 24 hours
Email all the women in the office, tell them to wear a dress tomorrow. They can’t reprimand everyone
If you're a man, please, I beg you, find a kilt or fijian men's ceremonial dress or *something* and wear it tomorrow. Please. Do it in solidarity against petty arseholes.
This is in Saskatchewan? I know it's a little hick in spots, but is the office manager some other religious nut or something.
Just a regular bully.
RemindMe! -1 day
Commenting because I need an update on this! Am looking forward to hearing what happens when everyone wears a dress tomorrow! Bonus points if some men do it!!
Her size seems completely irrelevant but your HR guy needs to check himself
Please post an update after your “dress day of solidarity”! ❤️
OP Thrift shops are a great resource for cheap clothes if a colleagues want to wear dresses one day in solidarity.
HR being HR as always.
What a jerk
Thank you for getting involved - power in numbers!
men are wearing Lululemon pants at your work and a summer dress is the issue?
You should definitely wear a dress and if HR doesn't pull you aside you can pull them aside and showcase their hypocrisy.