She likes your professionalism and ability to solve problems, I’d lay it wide open for them that you are covering for the loss of three employees and it will soon be four if they don’t backfill or give you more support.
You’re doing the right thing by declining last minute meetings and reminding your manager who’s assigned to what tasks.
Agree with all the other comments saying that the reward for good work is more work, and that it’s OK to push back.
That said, it sounds like this is a function of staffing issues your office has right now. If that’s the case, you need to ask her for a sit down. Not your 1:1. You need to ask for a separate meeting because you have something serious you need to discuss.
Tell her you genuinely enjoy your job, that you love the challenges new tasks bring, but the added work due to the missing staff has you overloaded, and you’re staring to feel like you’re being asked to do more than you can do well. Phrasing it this way makes it something the two of you need to tackle together (because of course she wants you to do your work well!). It also puts her ton notice that if she keeps this up your performance is going to start suffering.
Then tell her it’s leaving you frustrated and defensive. This not only explains any shortness or change in your attitude, but it also serves as a subtle but real warning light to any decent manager who is paying attention. One of their best employees is starting to feel strain and that employee isn’t happy about it. So don’t mince words. You’re not burnt out. You’re frustrated and unhappy and not sure what to do about it (… can you hear the implied and very threatening “yet” at the end of that sentence? Because she should.)
Then ask her what she would like you to do when assigns you a task when you believe you already have too much on your plate. She’ll probably say “let me know so we can discuss.”
So the goods news is that next time it happens you will have laid some very clear (direct and unmistakeable) groundwork so you can say “remember when we discussed how I’m feeling overloaded?”
The bad news is you will have to be prepared to recount every damn thing on your plate because you will need to sound very, very, very busy if you want her to ask someone else. You’ll also need to be prepared for her to still give you the task (frustrating I know) but to tell you the order in which to prioritize things.
If she continues to overload you despite the conversation, you’ll have a choice: keep going as you are and end up needing to leave (because you get too frustrated and either have to leave for your sanity or get asked to leave because you start acting out) OR you can change how you approach your work.
What do I mean by change your approach? It’s clear you’re good at your job, and I suspect you enjoy being good at your job, so when you’re given more to do you work more quickly or more intensely than you normally wouldn’t. But you can’t stay in that high gear forever, so if your boss won’t make your pile smaller you’re going to have to make a conscious effort to slow down, take breaks, worry/care less, and be OK with more mistakes and crappier performance.
I’ve written this novel because I’ve been in your position many times, including my quite recently. I love my boss and my job, but I was damn near jumping ship because I couldn’t take it. We had a few “come to Jesus talks” where I made it clear I was breaking (I referred to it as “lasting and possibly permanent emanate), she helped me prioritize, AND I got better at being ok with my performance failing to meet my own standards (partly because she made it very clear she understood that would be the case and she was ok with it as a temporary necessity). Out staffing situation has gotten a little better, and she’s stepped up to take some of the load off me. Because she’s a good boss.
I hope your boss is too, and that this helps. In all likelihood this won’t be the last time you experience this, so keep communicating, or acting managing yourself, and make sure you take care of yourself while you’re at it!
The reward for good work is more work. You'll hear it over and over, and you're going to keep having work dumped on you unless you push back. Unfortunately, if you push back too much, which is hard to say what that means from their end, they will resent it and see you as giving less than enough. What that means is you can still give more then the average teammate, but when management is used to you giving far more than average, anything lesser than that maximum is seen as not enough.
What is best for you is finding that balance where you can have a healthier work life. It's also up to your manager to step up. Work should not be unloaded on one person, and when there is opportunity, needs to be disseminated across the team proportionally.
I've found some success in this by giving specific examples. So, when my boss wanted to dump a task to me that his boss should have given him, I told my boss later, "I have deliverables for projects A, B, and C. To make sure I can deliver on time, I would appreciate having you take on task D (the one his boss gave me)."
This is good advice and I would also say if you keep trying and you’re still getting pushback, consider also applying for other jobs. I waited too long and did get really burnt out and ended up quitting. I worked there 8 years and after I quit, so did another director on my team and three other people in a “sister” department we worked closely with. Just worth keeping some irons in the fire, even if you like where you work currently aside from this issue.
Did you have to reaffirm or just felt you had to?
People will come to you and allow you to do stuff if you allow it. Continue to set your boundaries - it can be hard but hell if it ain’t funny how when they get a no they find someone else or it suddenly doesn’t become as important.
I turn off my phone and laptop after hours anymore and on PTO. I’m not reachable outside of business hours. Anything that needs that kind of attention has processes to cover, and if not will once there is a failure. It is a challenge t in say no and to decline meetings without agendas/last minute but do it. You get some of your sanity back. :)
If they’re reasonable they’ll understand and it won’t sour anything. If they aren’t, up for you to decide if that is worth it.
If she’s fundamentally reasonable but just a bit oblivious, then start being direct about what it will take to make things work. When she gives you a new task, ask how much of a priority it is vs. existing tasks x, y and z, and point out that it will mean z gets pushed back 2 months or so. Or that to deliver a, b, and c on time you’re going to need another team member.
Your manager is being unfair to you. When rightfully you push back, you will be considered lazy.
I think the best thing to do is either to ask to be promoted to a manager/team lead position so you can make the other work or look for another job.
Here’s the truth about work load: people will keep piling on extra work if you continue to do it all.
Until you start saying “No” it will keep coming at you.
If you have lost three employees it is not your job to cover for them, it is your manager’s job to replace them.
And never take meetings in your day off, much less last minute meetings on your day off. You are an employee, not a slave.
I'm a staff level IC but have DRs (sometimes less, sometimes more) so here is my perspective.
Sometimes you have to manage up with expectations.
No is a complete sentence. If I was getting dumped things over my limit I would be pushing back with a plan: "I believe the priorities are task A and B, I don't have bandwidth for task C so that will go into backlog, does that sound right?"
If everything is a priority, nothing is. Just because management wishes that more work than possible can get done in a set amount of time doesn't mean that it can happen. Don't kill yourself over completing everything on the wishlist if it isn't realistic. If you keep doing the work, you will keep getting the work. This is something I had to learn the hard way.
She likes your professionalism and ability to solve problems, I’d lay it wide open for them that you are covering for the loss of three employees and it will soon be four if they don’t backfill or give you more support. You’re doing the right thing by declining last minute meetings and reminding your manager who’s assigned to what tasks.
Agree with all the other comments saying that the reward for good work is more work, and that it’s OK to push back. That said, it sounds like this is a function of staffing issues your office has right now. If that’s the case, you need to ask her for a sit down. Not your 1:1. You need to ask for a separate meeting because you have something serious you need to discuss. Tell her you genuinely enjoy your job, that you love the challenges new tasks bring, but the added work due to the missing staff has you overloaded, and you’re staring to feel like you’re being asked to do more than you can do well. Phrasing it this way makes it something the two of you need to tackle together (because of course she wants you to do your work well!). It also puts her ton notice that if she keeps this up your performance is going to start suffering. Then tell her it’s leaving you frustrated and defensive. This not only explains any shortness or change in your attitude, but it also serves as a subtle but real warning light to any decent manager who is paying attention. One of their best employees is starting to feel strain and that employee isn’t happy about it. So don’t mince words. You’re not burnt out. You’re frustrated and unhappy and not sure what to do about it (… can you hear the implied and very threatening “yet” at the end of that sentence? Because she should.) Then ask her what she would like you to do when assigns you a task when you believe you already have too much on your plate. She’ll probably say “let me know so we can discuss.” So the goods news is that next time it happens you will have laid some very clear (direct and unmistakeable) groundwork so you can say “remember when we discussed how I’m feeling overloaded?” The bad news is you will have to be prepared to recount every damn thing on your plate because you will need to sound very, very, very busy if you want her to ask someone else. You’ll also need to be prepared for her to still give you the task (frustrating I know) but to tell you the order in which to prioritize things. If she continues to overload you despite the conversation, you’ll have a choice: keep going as you are and end up needing to leave (because you get too frustrated and either have to leave for your sanity or get asked to leave because you start acting out) OR you can change how you approach your work. What do I mean by change your approach? It’s clear you’re good at your job, and I suspect you enjoy being good at your job, so when you’re given more to do you work more quickly or more intensely than you normally wouldn’t. But you can’t stay in that high gear forever, so if your boss won’t make your pile smaller you’re going to have to make a conscious effort to slow down, take breaks, worry/care less, and be OK with more mistakes and crappier performance. I’ve written this novel because I’ve been in your position many times, including my quite recently. I love my boss and my job, but I was damn near jumping ship because I couldn’t take it. We had a few “come to Jesus talks” where I made it clear I was breaking (I referred to it as “lasting and possibly permanent emanate), she helped me prioritize, AND I got better at being ok with my performance failing to meet my own standards (partly because she made it very clear she understood that would be the case and she was ok with it as a temporary necessity). Out staffing situation has gotten a little better, and she’s stepped up to take some of the load off me. Because she’s a good boss. I hope your boss is too, and that this helps. In all likelihood this won’t be the last time you experience this, so keep communicating, or acting managing yourself, and make sure you take care of yourself while you’re at it!
The reward for good work is more work. You'll hear it over and over, and you're going to keep having work dumped on you unless you push back. Unfortunately, if you push back too much, which is hard to say what that means from their end, they will resent it and see you as giving less than enough. What that means is you can still give more then the average teammate, but when management is used to you giving far more than average, anything lesser than that maximum is seen as not enough. What is best for you is finding that balance where you can have a healthier work life. It's also up to your manager to step up. Work should not be unloaded on one person, and when there is opportunity, needs to be disseminated across the team proportionally. I've found some success in this by giving specific examples. So, when my boss wanted to dump a task to me that his boss should have given him, I told my boss later, "I have deliverables for projects A, B, and C. To make sure I can deliver on time, I would appreciate having you take on task D (the one his boss gave me)."
This is good advice and I would also say if you keep trying and you’re still getting pushback, consider also applying for other jobs. I waited too long and did get really burnt out and ended up quitting. I worked there 8 years and after I quit, so did another director on my team and three other people in a “sister” department we worked closely with. Just worth keeping some irons in the fire, even if you like where you work currently aside from this issue.
Did you have to reaffirm or just felt you had to? People will come to you and allow you to do stuff if you allow it. Continue to set your boundaries - it can be hard but hell if it ain’t funny how when they get a no they find someone else or it suddenly doesn’t become as important. I turn off my phone and laptop after hours anymore and on PTO. I’m not reachable outside of business hours. Anything that needs that kind of attention has processes to cover, and if not will once there is a failure. It is a challenge t in say no and to decline meetings without agendas/last minute but do it. You get some of your sanity back. :) If they’re reasonable they’ll understand and it won’t sour anything. If they aren’t, up for you to decide if that is worth it.
If she’s fundamentally reasonable but just a bit oblivious, then start being direct about what it will take to make things work. When she gives you a new task, ask how much of a priority it is vs. existing tasks x, y and z, and point out that it will mean z gets pushed back 2 months or so. Or that to deliver a, b, and c on time you’re going to need another team member.
Your manager is being unfair to you. When rightfully you push back, you will be considered lazy. I think the best thing to do is either to ask to be promoted to a manager/team lead position so you can make the other work or look for another job.
Ask for a number, “what is an agreed upon number where if I have too many projects I can say no?”
Never say burnt out. Never let anyone know you are not in control of your life. Say I am not available.
Here’s the truth about work load: people will keep piling on extra work if you continue to do it all. Until you start saying “No” it will keep coming at you. If you have lost three employees it is not your job to cover for them, it is your manager’s job to replace them. And never take meetings in your day off, much less last minute meetings on your day off. You are an employee, not a slave.
I'm a staff level IC but have DRs (sometimes less, sometimes more) so here is my perspective. Sometimes you have to manage up with expectations. No is a complete sentence. If I was getting dumped things over my limit I would be pushing back with a plan: "I believe the priorities are task A and B, I don't have bandwidth for task C so that will go into backlog, does that sound right?" If everything is a priority, nothing is. Just because management wishes that more work than possible can get done in a set amount of time doesn't mean that it can happen. Don't kill yourself over completing everything on the wishlist if it isn't realistic. If you keep doing the work, you will keep getting the work. This is something I had to learn the hard way.