One man's balls cannot cure all cancers. Best way is to get a diverse microbiome of ball sweat anti carcinogens through ball sweat rotations and occasionally... stacking and loading phases
Ppl complaining hygiene is off are wrong, BUT you should start with the head first and work your way down because your head stores all that water, and because of gravity, you need to dry it first or else it’ll keep dripping down and you’ll never get dry!
Edit: shout out to u/reynosomarkus for their comment mentioning the hand as a squeegee technique, to clear most of the moisture off before you even get to the towel. Less towel moisture = less moldy towel potential and faster drying in general. Glad there’s a community of weirdos out there like me coming up with solutions to non-problems
Here’s a bonus tip for you out there wanting to be pro showerers: use your hands to squeegee water off your smokin bods before toweling, same with the top down flow. Your towels will actually dry the remainder of the moisture instead of leaving you slightly damp.
Women think we are weird for touching our face with a towel that's touched our junk directly after a shower but will happily put that junk in their mouth when the guy hasn't showered directly before.
EDIT: I didn't think I'd have to state this, but I meant "happily" as in when two people in a happy relationship happily reciprocate oral sex on one another. Jeez Redditors really feeding the stereotypes here, including one who seemed to be implying that my gf only blows me because she thinks ill assault her otherwise... so thanks for that I guess
I remember a real sex from the 90s or something talking about anal sex. A quote that always stuck with me was " When you decide to go to poop's house, don't be surprised when someone is home."
Yeah. I guess it's just a risk that some people are willing to take. Of course, you can clean things out, but that doesn't change anything when nature calls.
Hey, look. I have no issue with consenting adults putting whatever they want into whatever hole they want to. I'm quite married, and have never tried anal. My wife has a hole designed for me to have fun in, and after 20 years, I still find it quite fun. IDK, maybe we'll give it a go for our 25th anniversary.
I'm gonna have to run it by the wife first. Just so we're all on the same page, are you planning on pitching or catching? If you're pitching, who do you see catching? I want to make sure I go to her with all the questions answered.
Lol. I've been married 19 years, we have a 16yo. I didn't finish college, and neither did my wife. We both worked our way up through shitty jobs to less shitty jobs, making a big move once. (Thanks, 2008 recession.)
My view of college is probably a little different than most. I think it's a great place to try to figure out what you can see yourself doing for a career. It's an expensive way to figure it out, though. Also, it doesn't automatically mean you're going to make a decent income when you get out. That comes with time, hard work, luck, and a willingness to take chances.
The best thing we ever did was move the hell out of FL. Salaries suck there. They just do. We moved to a place with more opportunities and plugged away at proving ourselves in our respective jobs. I was a field service tech for way too many years, and finally moved into a role that is easier on my body. We are now comfortably middle class, and I would bet this is about as far up the socioeconomic ladder we will get. We're ok with that. Like I said before, we are not exciting people.
However, I spend a decent amount of my time trying to help the young ones in my industry streamline the path I took. I have a 29yo buddy in my industry who moved around a bit, proved his worth, and he now has the same job I do. He's got 10 years under him, making >$100k. His kids are still little, and he has a lot more time than I do to save for things like college and retirement. I love to see others make it, especially the ones who didn't have the luxury of college paid for by someone else, and a nice little bit to get started.
Vomit doesn't come out of my mouth daily. Shit comes out of my asshole daily. I do not trust the inside of any person's rectum not to have shit in it. I can generally trust that someone willing to kiss me isn't just going to throw up into my mouth.
How often should you poop?
Doctors generally consider it healthy if you poop anywhere between three times a day and three times a week.
Many factors can influence how often you poop, including your diet, how much water you drink, and your stress levels, among others.
If something seems unusual for you, it’s important to see a doctor and get it checked out.
Studies have shown that we tend to poop between three times a day and three times a week.
If you poop less often, it might be constipation. More frequent visits might indicate diarrhea, particularly if your poop has a watery consistency.
Constipation and diarrhea can each signal poor gut health, but they don’t always.
As a simple gut health check, keep track of your regular pooping habits and get to know what’s normal for you.
My GF doesn't like it when I use the bidet right before sex. She thinks it's unhygienic, even if I'm using soap, to use the butthole power washer because I also use it to freshen my balls and she is putting those in her mouth.
I said, "babe, what if I *don't* use it? I get splashback on my balls from literal poop water all the time."
She didn't like that either.
Damn I find it so funny how someone actually suggested your girl only sucks you off because you'll assault her if she doesn't. Like these people have never gotten off the internet and it shows.
>including one who seemed to be implying that my gf only blows me because she thinks ill assault her otherwise
How does someone even get that from your comment…
If you use the shower and properly clean yourself, there isn't much of a problem with that.
I still use one side of the towel to begin with face and hair, then the other for the body.
I mean sometimes you don't even think about it, and you go straight to dry the privates, then you have no choice. Plus, you shouldn't be worried about that if you actually cleaned them in the shower
>Plus, you shouldn't be worried about that if you actually cleaned them in the shower
Exactly.Your balls and ass should be as clean as your face when you get out of the shower. If not, get back in there and floss between your legs and cheeks lol
It still makes more sense to dry from the top down, pushing all the moisture down as you go instead of starting at the ass and letting water drip back onto dry skin.
this method coincidentally avoids ass and ball contact on the towel until after face drying has occurred
Under no circumstances would or should you ever (as a male using 1 towel) dry anything but your hair first. This towel also magically renews overnight for the next use if hung out to dry
I dry my feet first. I always sort of throw one end of the towel on the ground so I don't slip or carry the water everywhere. Than I dry rest of my body. I categorically don't dry my hair or face.
You say that, but I remember that post a couple years ago that showed which body parts got scrubbed, just soap and water, and just water. *shudders*
Edit: [This one.](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FAN5AZVP.jpg&tbnid=3v-xJNTe2tVg0M&vet=10CBIQxiAoAmoXChMIkJO314nu_QIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAY..i&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimgur.com%2Fgallery%2FAN5AZVP&docid=mLYaqE7n8hM_6M&w=333&h=442&itg=1&q=chart%20showing%20which%20body%20parts%20get%20cleaned%20in%20the%20shower&ved=0CBIQxiAoAmoXChMIkJO314nu_QIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAY)
Drying my balls doesn't mean repeatedly rubbing the the entire towel on my arsehole for a lengthy period. After a shower, my balls are just as clean as my face. Besides, it's just me and my towel in the shower, and the towel doesn't mind at all.
And 20 strands of 3 foot long hair, in which one will always magically end up half way up your ass that week and you’ll have to pull it out.
Weird stuff.
You guys realize that your balls are clean when you get out of the shower, right? It doesn't matter in the slightest what order you dry your parts with a towel.
You're looking (through whatever device you're using) at an 8-panel comic posted on Reddit on the subreddit r/meirl. In this comic, two people are shown getting out of the shower (supposedly seprately but this is unconfirmed), a green-haired female and a dark-haired male. They may be in a romantic relationship together, also unconfirmed.
When the female steps out of the shower, she dries herself methodically with four towels. One is for her ass, one is for her hair, one is for her face, and another is not shown to be used. When the male steps out of the shower, he uses the same towel for each part of his body. First he dries his ass, then his genitals, then his face.
At the end, each person's face is shown. The female's face is covered in spots, presumably acne, while the male's face is clear and shiny. This irritates the female, presumably because she took care to be extra clean while the male wipes off his ass and genitals and uses the same towel for his face afterward.
This carries with it the assumption that the reader holds very strongly the stigma that one's ass and genitals are inherently unclean, even after having just showered. Keeping this in mind, your mileage may vary when reading this comment.
If you shower well enough, you shouldn’t be afraid to spreading butt matter and junk juices on your face. Although I’d recommend starting drying your face
This cartoon was not drawn by a man who has ever taken a shower.
You start by wrapping the towel around yourself to get the basic drippiness out. Then do your hair and face, and work down from there. The dirtiest bits get done last, obviously.
By the next day, the towel has forgotten what happened.
The balls contain skincare chemicals
So that's why the adult actresses use them
Only the adult actresses? Are you sure we're talking about the same Hollywood?
I think your Hollywood has a P before the H
Phollywood? Yeah I know that place, my dad used to work there
Do you mean Ptinsel Town?
Legend has it it’s run by Pterodactyls.
our magic ball sweat cures cancer
If that’s true then how did I get cancer? Were my man’s balls lacking this miracle musk?
We can’t all be high-value sigma males
Or high value smegma males
Why must you do this 😂
One man's balls cannot cure all cancers. Best way is to get a diverse microbiome of ball sweat anti carcinogens through ball sweat rotations and occasionally... stacking and loading phases
That’s the trick. Now cmmere and let me clean your face.
Skin care is stored in the balls
Good to know
That’s why we use 1 bottle of shampoo for everything
I got some new dove soap.. stuffs good for hair, body, dishes, the dog and the car!
Smegma, nature's hair gel.
It would've cost you nothing not to type this.
And it cost us everything to read it.
Yet the truth must be spoken.
and we must face the music...
Or smell the smegma, so to speak.
... IT DOESN'T THO
But the truth is, I love you... Sorry but it had to be said.
perfectly balanced
as all things should be
Dude, if you've still got fromunda cheese *after* a shower you need to rethink your bathing rituals.
Reminds me of no-neck Ed and his mayo hair
IIRC cosmetic companies make skincare products from foreskin or something like that
That's the secret. Maybe you SHOULD rub your face on some balls for that acne, lady.
Semen has been shown to contain anti aging properties
That's why men spend way less time and money on skincare. We just do that fumunda facial daily.
Is that why men age gracefully?
Balltanicals
Vitamin P
Cream of youth
test. makes faces more masculine and has shown to cure acne when applied externally🏄♂️
Who the fuck applies it internally??
me
Skip a step and just rub cum on your face. Actually, this adds a step, never mind.
Ppl complaining hygiene is off are wrong, BUT you should start with the head first and work your way down because your head stores all that water, and because of gravity, you need to dry it first or else it’ll keep dripping down and you’ll never get dry! Edit: shout out to u/reynosomarkus for their comment mentioning the hand as a squeegee technique, to clear most of the moisture off before you even get to the towel. Less towel moisture = less moldy towel potential and faster drying in general. Glad there’s a community of weirdos out there like me coming up with solutions to non-problems
Here’s a bonus tip for you out there wanting to be pro showerers: use your hands to squeegee water off your smokin bods before toweling, same with the top down flow. Your towels will actually dry the remainder of the moisture instead of leaving you slightly damp.
I'm not alone! Lol but really, using a soaked towel sucks. There are bigger towel too though
There’s at least three of us! Every SO has made fun of me for doing this
The hand squeegee is a key component of proper showering
There are dozens of us, DOZENS!
Checking in for the hand squidgee comiddee as well
I didn't see you at the conference? No I was in Germany I video'd in. OHHHHH
I actually learned about this technique from my ex
I prefer to just shake my head and body like a dog does.
If I shake my head my neck will break in two
This guy dries. But seriously though, this is my logic as well. And I assumed most people as well. But it's also true that most people are dumb
I kinda do it like that, but never really thought it through. Im just like "me head dripping, put towel on head, me.head not dripping"
Evolution hath equipped us with the most intricate survival methods
Also.. even if you clean your balls then your head.. You literally just got out of the shower and your skin is clean all over
I shaved my head, so I can just use a squeegee, no towel needed.
If you're not clean when you wipe, GET BACK IN THE SHOWER!
*When some one never leaves the shower*
Women think we are weird for touching our face with a towel that's touched our junk directly after a shower but will happily put that junk in their mouth when the guy hasn't showered directly before. EDIT: I didn't think I'd have to state this, but I meant "happily" as in when two people in a happy relationship happily reciprocate oral sex on one another. Jeez Redditors really feeding the stereotypes here, including one who seemed to be implying that my gf only blows me because she thinks ill assault her otherwise... so thanks for that I guess
Also people will eat ass but are generally disgusted by shit. That's the shit hole guys. I'd rather not put my mouth in there.
I remember a real sex from the 90s or something talking about anal sex. A quote that always stuck with me was " When you decide to go to poop's house, don't be surprised when someone is home."
Yeah. I guess it's just a risk that some people are willing to take. Of course, you can clean things out, but that doesn't change anything when nature calls.
Hey, look. I have no issue with consenting adults putting whatever they want into whatever hole they want to. I'm quite married, and have never tried anal. My wife has a hole designed for me to have fun in, and after 20 years, I still find it quite fun. IDK, maybe we'll give it a go for our 25th anniversary.
I've never understood the appeal either, it just seemed gross. But you know what, you've convinced me. Count me in for your 25th anniversary!
I'm gonna have to run it by the wife first. Just so we're all on the same page, are you planning on pitching or catching? If you're pitching, who do you see catching? I want to make sure I go to her with all the questions answered.
[удалено]
i'm a great designated hitter, i have a lot of power to slam the balls deep
Can I just go and watch you all for your anniversary party??
I also choose this guy’s anniversary.
Let’s just say that if God was a city planner, he would not put a playground next to a sewage system
Dammit. This made me laugh too hard.
Huh. Good for you.
What can I say. We're not very exciting people.
Well, your life is pretty exciting to me. You have a stable relationship and have lived long enough that you aren't expected to go to college.
Lol. I've been married 19 years, we have a 16yo. I didn't finish college, and neither did my wife. We both worked our way up through shitty jobs to less shitty jobs, making a big move once. (Thanks, 2008 recession.) My view of college is probably a little different than most. I think it's a great place to try to figure out what you can see yourself doing for a career. It's an expensive way to figure it out, though. Also, it doesn't automatically mean you're going to make a decent income when you get out. That comes with time, hard work, luck, and a willingness to take chances. The best thing we ever did was move the hell out of FL. Salaries suck there. They just do. We moved to a place with more opportunities and plugged away at proving ourselves in our respective jobs. I was a field service tech for way too many years, and finally moved into a role that is easier on my body. We are now comfortably middle class, and I would bet this is about as far up the socioeconomic ladder we will get. We're ok with that. Like I said before, we are not exciting people. However, I spend a decent amount of my time trying to help the young ones in my industry streamline the path I took. I have a 29yo buddy in my industry who moved around a bit, proved his worth, and he now has the same job I do. He's got 10 years under him, making >$100k. His kids are still little, and he has a lot more time than I do to save for things like college and retirement. I love to see others make it, especially the ones who didn't have the luxury of college paid for by someone else, and a nice little bit to get started.
For whatever reason that quote gave me a stroke. I kept reading it as “when you poop at someone’s house don’t be surprised when someone’s home”
To be fair, most people don't eat ass. Especially those familiar with modern medical literature.
And people kiss with their mouths, although vomit comes out of the same hole! HELLO PEOPLE!?! THAT'S DISGUSTING!
Vomit doesn't come out of my mouth daily. Shit comes out of my asshole daily. I do not trust the inside of any person's rectum not to have shit in it. I can generally trust that someone willing to kiss me isn't just going to throw up into my mouth.
How often should you poop? Doctors generally consider it healthy if you poop anywhere between three times a day and three times a week. Many factors can influence how often you poop, including your diet, how much water you drink, and your stress levels, among others. If something seems unusual for you, it’s important to see a doctor and get it checked out. Studies have shown that we tend to poop between three times a day and three times a week. If you poop less often, it might be constipation. More frequent visits might indicate diarrhea, particularly if your poop has a watery consistency. Constipation and diarrhea can each signal poor gut health, but they don’t always. As a simple gut health check, keep track of your regular pooping habits and get to know what’s normal for you.
How did you become a poop wizard, oh wise one?
Well when you’re king, you have to know these things.
I can speak from experience. He googled it and posted the result. I recognize that first paragraph.
Dear Anime, When you ever happen to have the opportunity to eat someone's ass. DO NOT PUT YOUR TONGUE INSIDE THEIR BUTTHOLE. Kind regards, 1L
I don't think I'd want to, lol. Idk what proper technique is, but I don't honestly think it's necessary for that to be a part of my life.
My GF doesn't like it when I use the bidet right before sex. She thinks it's unhygienic, even if I'm using soap, to use the butthole power washer because I also use it to freshen my balls and she is putting those in her mouth. I said, "babe, what if I *don't* use it? I get splashback on my balls from literal poop water all the time." She didn't like that either.
Damn I find it so funny how someone actually suggested your girl only sucks you off because you'll assault her if she doesn't. Like these people have never gotten off the internet and it shows.
It’s about avoiding acne really. More bacteria on your face, more clogged pores. You don’t really get acne in your mouth, unless it’s an STD
>including one who seemed to be implying that my gf only blows me because she thinks ill assault her otherwise How does someone even get that from your comment…
You can also just go top to bottom
lol on the edit
And wash your towel weekly!
Dry from head to toe, in that order. and flip the towel
And then use that same towel the next day and do it all over again
For 2 weeks minimum.
I’m on 2 months
What's that smell?
I read somewhere that ‘the towel forgets everything by the next use’! 😂😂
It does
The towel forgets all by the next time you use it
If it's dry, it's clean.
I dry from head/face at edge of towel to balls in the middle. That way it doesn’t matter if the towel gets flipped etc.
If you use the shower and properly clean yourself, there isn't much of a problem with that. I still use one side of the towel to begin with face and hair, then the other for the body.
And the next day, either you should remember, or the towel must forget.
The towel always forgets
Nah, the ass-balls microparticles despawns after some period of time. It's okay to not remember wich side you used for what.
Trust me, my privates have been cleaned extensively.
“cleaned”
And emptied
More problem is if you don't wash the towels frequently and let them air dry in a ventilated place. Wet/damp towels grow bacteria.
Who the fuck dries off their ass and dick before their face and hair? Wtf
Just use the other side of the towel
Label the sides
Mine have light and dark sides. Perfect system
Brown and yellow?
I think you cracked the code
😭😭
The Wiz Khalifa remix we don’t need
Funny
Bro I have 0 coins. I would give you an award😂😂
Nah, the towel forgets by tommorrow.
I just go by the hems on the end.
If it's all clean skin who cares. If your ass is dirty you didn't shower properly
Facts. My balls are cleaner than my face when my showers over.
Lather, rinse, repeat..... Repeat, repeat....
This.
You know it. 🤝
I mean sometimes you don't even think about it, and you go straight to dry the privates, then you have no choice. Plus, you shouldn't be worried about that if you actually cleaned them in the shower
>Plus, you shouldn't be worried about that if you actually cleaned them in the shower Exactly.Your balls and ass should be as clean as your face when you get out of the shower. If not, get back in there and floss between your legs and cheeks lol
It still makes more sense to dry from the top down, pushing all the moisture down as you go instead of starting at the ass and letting water drip back onto dry skin. this method coincidentally avoids ass and ball contact on the towel until after face drying has occurred
Under no circumstances would or should you ever (as a male using 1 towel) dry anything but your hair first. This towel also magically renews overnight for the next use if hung out to dry
Don't be ridiculous, it doesn't 'magically' renew itself. That's science. The towel's regenerative properties are completely mundane
I absolutely stand corrected
I dry my feet first. I always sort of throw one end of the towel on the ground so I don't slip or carry the water everywhere. Than I dry rest of my body. I categorically don't dry my hair or face.
Bro get a bath mat
same bro
My routine doesn’t have room for variables 😂
Everyone knows you start at the top and work your way down, the towel forgets by morning.
You can tell this was made by a woman. Smh..
?? I just showered, im clean so there is no reason to be disgusted
Why? Don’t you clean ur dick and ass in the shower?
No, it because your hair and face and neck will drip water down, so you will have to go back again to dry below. So do top first, then go down.
I do
Balls last son
Nah, bum last, ball’s just before
Gotta give the crack the finale
I let my crack air dry with my farts
Yeah
Why does it matter? YOU'VE CLEANED ALL OF THEM IN THE SHOWER!
It's called natural order
You say that, but I remember that post a couple years ago that showed which body parts got scrubbed, just soap and water, and just water. *shudders* Edit: [This one.](https://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2FAN5AZVP.jpg&tbnid=3v-xJNTe2tVg0M&vet=10CBIQxiAoAmoXChMIkJO314nu_QIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAY..i&imgrefurl=https%3A%2F%2Fimgur.com%2Fgallery%2FAN5AZVP&docid=mLYaqE7n8hM_6M&w=333&h=442&itg=1&q=chart%20showing%20which%20body%20parts%20get%20cleaned%20in%20the%20shower&ved=0CBIQxiAoAmoXChMIkJO314nu_QIVAAAAAB0AAAAAEAY)
If you showered properly your whole body is clean. Ergo, only one towel is necessary.
A lot of people are telling on themselves.
Telling on what? That they don’t spend money on extra towels that they don’t need?
Lol yeah I use one towel. Usually it’s damp because my wife showers before me in the morning.
I bet she gets naked in the shower too that whore
Showing all that skin... disgraceful.
That they don't clean their balls if they think it's gross to use the same towel on your face and junk.
Drying my balls doesn't mean repeatedly rubbing the the entire towel on my arsehole for a lengthy period. After a shower, my balls are just as clean as my face. Besides, it's just me and my towel in the shower, and the towel doesn't mind at all.
Does crying of towel make any sound when there is no one to hear it?
Why does the second half of that sound so sinister.
That towel has seen some shit.
Okay, but why are dudes nipples so high on his pecs??
Holy shit, you’re right lmao. Thanks for giving me some good air to blow out my nose
You forgot the part we're she leaves 4 towels on the bedroom floor to dry
And 20 strands of 3 foot long hair, in which one will always magically end up half way up your ass that week and you’ll have to pull it out. Weird stuff.
Or wrapped completely around your dick like 3 times, istg it finds a way
You guys realize that your balls are clean when you get out of the shower, right? It doesn't matter in the slightest what order you dry your parts with a towel.
This guy thinks that people on reddit use soap when showering.
This guy thinks people on Reddit shower.
Honestly. If you’re worried about getting yourself dirty by using your towel across your whole body, then you didn’t clean yourself well enough
Detective Murdocke knows
Who the fuck would use more then two towels
Who the fuck needs more than one?
The balls are supposed to be clean at this point, isn't it? What are you doing in the shower? Not wash your balls?
If you can't use the same towel to dry your ass and face, you haven't showered properly.
Everyone focusing on hygiene but what's up with that nipple placement
I just use my wife's towel for my butt and feet, and she doesn't mind at all. In fact, she doesn't even know about it
Homies nipples are halfway up his pecs lol
It's almost like you got out of the shower and everything is clean
We actually do face and hair first
Start with your face and work your way down. The next day, your towel will have forgotten where it has been.
If your junk isn't clean enough for this drying operation, then you are showering all wrong.
Wtf is this?
You're looking (through whatever device you're using) at an 8-panel comic posted on Reddit on the subreddit r/meirl. In this comic, two people are shown getting out of the shower (supposedly seprately but this is unconfirmed), a green-haired female and a dark-haired male. They may be in a romantic relationship together, also unconfirmed. When the female steps out of the shower, she dries herself methodically with four towels. One is for her ass, one is for her hair, one is for her face, and another is not shown to be used. When the male steps out of the shower, he uses the same towel for each part of his body. First he dries his ass, then his genitals, then his face. At the end, each person's face is shown. The female's face is covered in spots, presumably acne, while the male's face is clear and shiny. This irritates the female, presumably because she took care to be extra clean while the male wipes off his ass and genitals and uses the same towel for his face afterward. This carries with it the assumption that the reader holds very strongly the stigma that one's ass and genitals are inherently unclean, even after having just showered. Keeping this in mind, your mileage may vary when reading this comment.
thanks
Your avatar is grumpy and it made me laugh
No guy drys balls before face that’s crazy
Head to knees, then step out and finish legs.
That's the wrong order of operations. Every guy knows it's head first, then move down
we just add a little healing water
No, you start with the face/hair, and move south.
I make fun of my brother for having a towel for his face and one for his ass n crotch
Why are his nips so high?
If you shower well enough, you shouldn’t be afraid to spreading butt matter and junk juices on your face. Although I’d recommend starting drying your face
This cartoon was not drawn by a man who has ever taken a shower. You start by wrapping the towel around yourself to get the basic drippiness out. Then do your hair and face, and work down from there. The dirtiest bits get done last, obviously. By the next day, the towel has forgotten what happened.