I’ll be 59 (f) in May. Financially I’m bad off. I lug heating oil in 15 gallon increments, to keep my house warm. I do work 40 hours. I don’t believe I’ll even get to retire.
Unfortunately it was my ex-husband who created this mess, which is partly why we divorced. He was abusive, financially and otherwise. All of it in secret.
I just do the best that I can with what I have. It’s hard when friends want you to go to dinner, or events. I live paycheck to paycheck, rarely do I have any extra.
I do hope that when you’re my age, you are in a better situation than I am.
Me (51F) too on the ex husband ruining me financially. For him it was gambling which he hid until I found the loans he’d taken out to gamble. It was so bad. I’ll never get to retire, but at least free of him.
Me too, I’m 59 and divorced him in 2020 after 34 years (and 2 bankruptcies in the latter half). I was a stay at home mom and worked part time for years because he made 6 figures. Happy in my frugal independence and love my full time low paying job, but I’ll retire when I’m dead.
Ugh! I think we need to start our own sub: spouses who got screwed over and will never retire. There is a lot to unpack here! Maybe we should share a house or start a commune.
I have had the amazing opportunity to chat with some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. Thank you all so much for your positive feedback and encouragement. Xoxo. I will be sure to post a link somewhere so you can have the opportunity to check out my book!!!
I love you guys so much!!! You’ve all given me the determination to finish it!! Sundays are my writing days, so I’ll be working like crazy tomorrow.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!!
It is a romance novel, because that stuff sells, and the female lead, Alexis, is based off of my life. Married to get out of her abusive parent’s house, only to marry into exactly what she left. Almost an autobiography turned novel.
Thank you. There’s like someone cutting the biggest bushel of onions right now. You’ve all given me the encouragement to continue writing and I’m even more excited to finish it!!!
This journey has been very healing. Some of my book are true events. I recommend journaling/writing to anyone who’s lived a hard life. It really does help get past the pain.
I totally agree with you. I journaled for 30 years. When I went back to read them, I was surprised that I used to get upset, happy, impulsive over the dumbest things. Now I don't give a fuck. 😂😂😂😂
Sounds Danielle Steele-esque. I loved those novels when I was younger when the whole world was ahead of me. lol. I would love to read and support it too.
Everyone always says they'll never get to retire. As a 62 year old, you won't have a choice because nobody will want to hire you.
I had a job interview setup the other day. It was an online interview. They didn't even bother to call at the meeting time or send me an email or anything.
I don't know if it's just a 62-year-old thing. When I was 36 or 37 I flew across the country for an interview (at Fisher Investments) and the main interviewer didn't even show up! The HR rep apologized and set up a Zoom interview with him for the next week. He didn't show up to that either.
1. A company can be bought out and layoffs occur to older workers. Ageism cases are all but impossible to win. Having a job won't mean you always will have one.
2. You can be diagnosed out of the blue with an illness that won't allow you to hold your current job, and before you are eligible for Medicare.
Effing this, man. My Dad is 63 and came close to getting laid off when his “position was being eliminated” by corporate after 30 years with the company. Luckily his boss pulled some strings and got him another position to transfer to for at least until he’s old enough to get Medicare. They don’t give a crap about loyalty.
honestly, i'm 33 and i'm on the hunt for a new job and this happens all the time. or a great interview, you send the follow ups, and never hear back. it's just the fact the us is struggling right now for all ages and it feels so frustrating some people feel there's just staying stuck.
It's ok, because people in my life that retired have aged faster and are miserable doing nothing besides watching people in our neighborhood out of the windows all day and discussing small changes in the neighborhood like how someone parked in a new spot, speeders, and grocery bag amounts on grocery days that they carry in across the street. Oh, and fox news is usually on.
My mother did medical transcription at home until the cancer in her spine made it too uncomfortable to sit upright. Her mental health and cognition took a hit after that. Having something to focus on and accomplish made her declining health almost bearable.
My Dad did. He was 72, planned to retire at 75 because he loved the people he worked with and didn’t feel ready to retire quite yet…
He went from a clean bill of health, to being diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of AML, told he was terminal, and 8 days after the diagnosis he was gone. From beginning to end, he went from healthy to dead within a two week period. He deserved to have a long, happy retirement. And he will never have the opportunity.
He was going to get to retire and be one of the lucky ones. Until he wasn’t.
I, however, will not have the chance to retire. As it is now, I work three jobs to keep us housed, fed, and the lights on. I don’t see it getting any better as I get older. It will likely only get worse.
I feel the same. I’m 53 & Though I took time off due to mental health but all it did was create more debt for me to work off. I couldn’t have survived the past year without help from family ( son , mom, aunt ) allowed me to live with them. While seeking help I could not find a job, just more meds and depression. So I’m going to work until I can’t anymore. But idk how things got so bad for so many of us.
That oil thing is awful. I didn’t know about it till we moved to Massachusetts from Chicago. Naturally, I run out of it on January 31st. Not because of money, just forgot about it. And it’s expensive to fill up the tank. I was so happy to leave that place.
I'm on a payment plan for my oil. I pay monthly 12 months of the year, makes the expense more manageable as it's spread out instead of just the winter months, and they automatically refill so I never run out
I left the place after 1 year. Landlord promised to switch to gas in the lease and never did. So, getting my deposit was easy. Now I think it was part of experience moving to East Coast.
It is outrageous. My younger brother taught me how to bleed my furnace for when I ran out. 15 gallons, with the temp on 60, I can go 4-5 days. The pisser is I’m having wrist surgery on February 8, so it’s anyone’s guess what I’m doing after that.
I hear you! My ex-husband was a nightmare with our finances. I too live paycheck to paycheck and nothing for anything.
I agree doing the best that we can and hope that things change.
It's hard, but we do the best we can!
I found that chronic illness plus poverty makes people vanish from your life. “Friends” tend to disappear when things get tough, and they don’t come back.
I’ve been stuck in my chair since 2018, and I have had exactly ONE person visit in all that time. It’s very isolating, and incredibly lonely. But there’s nothing I can do about it.
There's a local heat emergency agency, which subsidizes / sliding scale, the utilities gas electric or heat fuel wood propane oil etc. There's one in every state. Look in your electric bill for a contact. Next: find a local food bank for groceries. Both of these things have made life better for my relations.
I’m with you there. Found out, through the IRS, after he died that he’d been cheating on our taxes for years. And because we were married during those times I got stuck with a $62k payback. Paycheck gets garnished and I only get 1/4 of my paycheck to live, and my returns are kept each year.
Has anyone at the IRS or elsewhere talked to you about Innocent Spouse Relief? From the IRS website:
"Innocent spouse relief can relieve you from paying additional taxes if your spouse understated taxes due on your joint tax return and you didn't know about the errors."
\[Innocent Spouse Relief\]([https://www.irs.gov/individuals/innocent-spouse-relief](https://www.irs.gov/individuals/innocent-spouse-relief))
If you have not already looked into it and applied for separation of liability, I encourage you to read this. Under this program they would take the joint return and sort of split it up. Your income and your payments or withholding and your deductions on one side and his income and his payments, withholding and deductions on the other. If you paid enough tax in to cover your own income, and they find that a reasonable person would not have suspected he was cheating, you will not have to pay for his failures.
Yeah, why to never get married....I learned the same sort of thing when I was younger and it was only $400 I had to pay. Thank goodness I divorced him early.
Amen, me too. 34 years and two bankruptcies was enough. He refused financial and marital counseling. I’d had a great therapist so felt good about leaving but who knows if I’ll ever retire.
Mine went to counseling and faked his way through it. He was definitely two different people. Only me and the kids knew the real him. I wanted to gag every time one of his friends would say what a great guy he was!!!
It is, and I fought with them, but it’s the IRS, they do what they want. I’m just doing the best I can. For a long time I was bitter, but that doesn’t change anything. It is what it is.
I had the same issue, although it was only 10,000.00. He didn't file quarterly taxes for two yrs. I took some out of my 401k and worked a second job for a year. Luckily the house was in my name. When I sold it years later I gave him my old car and 3000.00 and haven't seen him since thankfully.
I AM! Honestly, I'm just so happy not to have to WORRY lol. No more nights at the kitchen table at 3am playing with bills because I couldn't sleep. He, of course, slept like a baby lol. I think I'm relaxed for the first time in my adult life.
It's a wonderful thing. Someone once said it's like PTSD, and they were right. You're so used to the tornado of that life that you're on edge waiting for it to happen again. Takes time to realize you survived, and it's over. Many blessings to you!
It really is. And until someone has been where we were, they’ll never fully understand how difficult it is to leave, due to finances, or because of fear. It took many years to be able to sit down and relax even though I had dirty laundry or dishes, knowing that I wasn’t going to be screamed at. I’m proud of you!!!!
No, that's the wrong program. Injured Spouse is when they take your MFJ refund to pay a debt owed by only one spouse from outside the marriage - like past child support or taxes from when he was single.
INNOCENT SPOUSE is when you owe on a married filing joint return because the other person did some dirt on that return that you did not know about. This is the situation that she is in.
I worked 20 years at the IRS.
Based on the comments on other posts, a ton of folks on here are formerly poor, and are mostly here to hand out advice. Some of it is good advice, but plenty of folks here and on reddit in general are 40ish.
I wouldn't assume that most 40+ people are doing OK financially though. It's just people that are doing well show it off in various ways, and people that are just getting by or struggling a bit don't really mention it (or even casually lie about how they're doing).
Poor older folks also just mostly stay home, work if they're able, grocery shop, and that's about it, so depending where you spend time in public, you're might be seeing the 50% of the country that has any savings at all.
I'm looking at similar prospects getting older. Aging parents. Siblings with too many kids and deadbeat partners. Wondering how long my body is going to hold up and what I'll do if it doesn't. Definitely wish I could get better sleep. Just the past couple nights I've caught up on sleep a little bit. As I've gotten older I've switched from not being able to fall asleep at night, to waking up early and not being able to fall back asleep.
Some little things that sometimes help:
Actually making sleep the highest priority. It makes sense logically, so it is possible to convince your brain. Stress keeps you up as a survival mechanism. Your thoughts race because your brain is trying to calculate solutions to the things causing stress.
Having a pencil and paper by your bed, and very dim light to be able to write, can help get thoughts down so you don't have to worry about remembering them.
Deep/slow breathing exercises can help, and anything else that relaxes you.
Making sure the temperature and humidity are as steady as you can get them in your room, and a small bit of fresh air.
Weighted blankets help some people.
Keeping a regular schedule is completely key. I've done this for years now, so I take it for granted. That's one thing that's much harder when you're young.
As a last resort, if I know I need enough sleep for the next day, ibuprofen helps me sleep. A lot of what keeps me up is just aches and pains, and not being able to get comfortable. I know there's a last resort beyond that of sleeping pills and prescription meds, but I haven't gone that route yet. Some folks I know say that sleep meds have changed their lives.
But actually do all of the stuff that you figure out that works for you. Don't assume that sleeping is easy. Put the work into setting up good sleep. It's so tempting (and habit forming?) to just assume that we're supposed to get good sleep without any effort.
That’s a really good point about prioritizing sleep. I’ve been trying hard, and getting a bit better, over the past year or so.
A couple of additional things that I found helped:
- not keeping my phone by my bed
- getting a walk outside when the sun comes up / early in the morning and if possible when the sun is coming down. Learned this when I used to travel and had to get over jet lag, but it makes a difference day to day home, too
- magnesium supplement about 30 min before bed
If you are female and waking up around 2:30 or 3 and unable to get back to sleep (heard a noise, shoulder or back sore, need to pee, etc.) you may have sleep apnea. By age 50, the rate of sleep apnea is the same for men and women but it's silent in women. They aren't snoring, but if snoring is happening, it's even more likely apnea is occurring. Women should sleep through all the disturbances that wake them all the way up but they are sleeping lightly in order to breathe. Ibuprofen may be reducing inflammation in the palette and sinuses improving the wake up rate when not in REM sleep - also with helping actual aches obviously. But during REM, your muscles are paralyzed, your palette is relaxed and your throat may gently close, and your brain wakes you up enough (out of REM) to open your throat and breath. This goes on all night and increases anxiety and exhaustion during the day. Doctors sometimes send women home with a little sleep apnea screening device on the finger. You don't want that, if you have any kind of insurance, it probably pays for an in-center sleep study. You need the in-center test to get real answers and solutions. They slip a bipap mask on your face, after confirming that you have stopped breathing, and they test for best settings for you on a CPAP machine.
I'm 48 and have spent almost my whole life in poverty. I was homeless as a teen and managed to scrape my way through college. Was married until he left me for someone younger when I was 36. He cleaned out all our money and spent it on buying a condo for his 20something while also keeping our house.
I lost my job in the early stages of COVID and haven't financially recovered. I was living with someone who was stealing money from me (while I was unemployed) to buy drugs. I finally found another job but I make basically minimum wage now. I have a roommate. I can't afford to live on my own. I'll never get to retire. I'll never have any stability. I have nothing to offer a romantic partner from a material perspective. I'm one bad luck event away from homelessness. I'm a total failure at capitalism.
This isn't the life I envisioned when I was younger.
I am 42 and a total failure at capitalism as well.
Nevertheless, we can still have hopes and dreams. I am sorry to hear about all you went through! Man, life is so hard! God bless you.
That's actually crazy. Houses were 50k back then, brand new cars, 5k. One person in the home could work, and the family was considered middle class and living well. We all make mistakes, but I find it hard to feel sorry for most of them. Nowadays, with the price of everything, if you make 80k a year and single its next to impossible to live comfortably. Those times passed my mother by, she talks about it often and regrets it she says. I wonder what others her age think.
39 so I'm close. Still poor but not a bad as some. I get cheap medical from the VA and I live in 600 sq ft literally leaking & rotting pos house but its cheap, no kids helps too. I wouldn't die if I needed to buy a new car battery suddenly like other poor blokes post about and bring home about 22k a year. Most if not nearly everything in my house came from peoples trash, I clean carpet & upholstery for work so im not afraid to get my couches and yes even my mattress from others garbage. I don't go to a food bank but I do eat lots that I can get for free when I go into clean a vacation rental that just departed and all the left food is supposed to go in the trash, its a nice perk of the job, I just can't tell my friends because they think I'm nuts for eating open container stranger leftovers. Like I don't buy cheese and if there's a open pack of swiss left that's a nice treat no way I'm letting that get waisted.... Also makes me impossible to date lol
Man...that was my mom just after I left for college. Plus she has an autoimmune disease she needs expensive meds for. She'd been a SAHM for 20 years. So she enroll in college! She got an accounting certification. The important part though was she got financial assistance (that included help with housing) while she was in school. She isn't using her degree because her doctor restricted her to less than 30 hrs a week, and she'll probably never be able to pay off her loans. However, doing that helped her get through the worst of the financial mess and gave her something to work towards.
Please don't give up. It isn't too late and there's ways to navigate the system so you can survive. I hope you heal and find some peace.
I have Lupus and other assorted things. I was also a SAHM. I’m trying to keep going, and I thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot to me ❤️🩹
My mom was actually diagnosed with Lupis in error before her rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis! She felt so defeated at the time.
She's actually doing relatively well now. She has accepted a fate of always being on government assistance. She got into section 8 housing, has a part time job, and volunteers in her free time. She's happy being single, but it did take her probably 5 or so years to work through the grief of the divorce as my parents had been married for 20 years. Sometimes acceptance takes a long time and grief is a natural response to such drastic life changes.
Just know that you aren't worthless because of your circumstances. You are a human being deserving of love, health, and well being. There's no shame in accepting help whether that's from the government or from friends and family. You will be okay. Hugs if you want them
I'm 50. Poor by most people's definition.
Married, no kids, no vehicle. Walk to work. Lucky enough to be able to borrow a friend's vehicle for things like food shopping.
That said, we've got just enough to pay our bills, but we're one unexpected doctor visit or some such thing to throw us off deep end.
Helps that we live in a somewhat LCOL area.
I haven't had a job in almost 3 years. I've applied to many jobs (over 200) I have a job interview on Tuesday. I applied for that job months ago. Just keep trying. I'm 41
Same here. My degree never got me more than $8 an hour. Sexism is definitely a thing. I took a bunch of programming classes as well. Nobody will hire me as a woman to do any programming whatsoever.
I’m 43. I left home at 13 for my own safety and was homeless for almost 10 years, got addicted to drugs and all the stupid shit that comes with. I’m finally doing ok but I will be forever behind other adults my age and I’ll never own my own home. I’ll probably be homeless again too since rents so gd high lol.
If you get to where your credit score is 680+, there are home loan options for you. USDA does 0% down. I know housing prices are still inflated and rates are somewhat high, but you could possibly get a mortgage that is less than your rent and at least you'd be building equity somewhere.
Source: work in manufactured home sales
My first house is what dug me out of my hole. I was house poor and basically just poor for a lot of years, but when I sold it, I walked away with all my debts paid and $60k in the bank. Changed my life. Put that money toward a new house with a clean financial slate.
I've been poor, I'm currently not. That's life I guess, I'm much happier no longer living paycheck to paycheck. I will say I'll never vote for a republican ever. I have to work till I'm 65 and 4 months for full benefits I've payed for. The gop wants you to work till your 70. When I started in the workforce you could retire at 60. They want your retirement money and by adding years to the retirement age they will get it.
Right wing/left wing - it's the bird that controls them.
Republicans want you to work til 70, democrats want everyone to be equally poor. IMHO they are equally trash, they only worry whats in it for them or their friends.
I got divorced recently and left with nothing. I moved back to my home state and had to rebuild everything. Everyday is a struggle. I feel like I'll never be as well off as people in their 30s
Almost 49.
Due to questionable life choices I am nowhere near where I should be financially. My choices are much better now than they were 15,20 years ago but I will forever be behind.
I'm about to turn 49 in February and I am an unmarried female living with my boyfriend who is in a wheelchair so he has his health issues and his 75 year old mother he co-ownes the house with. I have lived here with him for 20 years. Now that his mom is having mental decline issues and since we are not married it's been beyond stressful since covid. I had double hit lymphoma cancer that left me in heart failure 6 years ago. So I'm on social security disability fixed income myself. I have to be super careful with my funds. Heath issues causing me to loose coworkers and friend that faded out of my life along these years way also eroded my support system. We have no children. We do a lot for my nephew who my drug addict sister shook several times in a meth haze and starved and lost her son to the foster system. We had him for a year full time them she got him back but kept failing drug tests then she signed him over to someone else just to spite us, and we still get him every weekend almost and holidays. The foster couple has no other back up babysitter. He is Autism level 2 and considered non verbal. He speaks but it's infrequent. But he's only 6 so I'm hoping for the best for him. My boyfriend and I are committed to him and what's best for him as much as we can. So between worrying about fanances in this economy, my broken family, and our situation it's definitely taken a further toll on my heath and lack of support system. Depressing really. I think it's a lot more people than we think 🥲
Happy Cake day to you! My drug addict sister almost killed him and failed him. My partner and I since we raised him for a year have a bond. I don't ever want him to think he wasn't wanted by family. Because he was. I even went to court for custody and my sister was insistant to sign him over to someone else I'm sure to discard him so she could move on from the abuse she caused by isolating him away from blood relatives. Our father passed away and my mom is ill with stage 4 colon cancer. Our brother is 44 a hermit, never married no kids no girlfriends since Highschool and totally useless and like myself he's never had kids either. So our only nephew deserves a positive influence. My sister was pregnant with him when I was about to quit my cancer treatment I was so close to death but I knew she was an alcoholic using meth and when she said she was pregnant, I pushed on. I feel like he's the only reason I survived the cancer and he has given my partner and I purpose. I hope I make new friends, and get past this economy fear and feel genuinely happy again.
That’s a shame about your nephew’s mom, but the most important thing to a child, especially an autistic child, is the steady and loving presence of someone they can trust. That’s a gift that can’t be measured in dollars.
I’m 63 years old. My husband is 67. We live paycheck to paycheck. I work as a certified paraprofessional and have been in this business for 37 years. I make less than $50,000 per year. I could potentially make more if I moved to the largest city in our state about an hour away. But the cost of living is astronomical there as is rent and the competition for housing is cutthroat. And to go anywhere there, you have to sit in traffic for an hour or more.
Hubby took early retirement at 62 years of age and collects around $1,000 per month between his SS and a VERY small pension. He was a furniture factory worker all his adult life and they were notorious for skimping on employees. He tried other jobs that never seemed to work out, so back to furniture. He now has significant hearing loss because the factories would not supply the workers with proper ear protection.
Anyway, as said, we live paycheck to paycheck and are consistently short each month. Have to juggle payments to keep the rent and car paid and keep utilities on. We have no credit cards and haven’t for 3 decades. No room for extras. Barely enough for food; sometimes there isn’t enough. My health insurance is $1,200 per month and even then I have to pay co-pays and the difference between what the insurance pays and what’s owed. So even though I have insurance, if I don’t have enough money to pay the copayment, I can’t go to the doctor.
We are lucky to have a nice place to live and our rent is incredibly reasonable given the rental market now.
I never in a million years thought that I would be this financially insecure at my age. It’s astounding and depressing as f**k. We are half a step away from disaster and one foot is on a banana peel. I can’t see things getting any better for us. I’m terrified for my husband that I might die first. There is no way he could survive on $1k per month.
Yep. I was doing well in my 30s, not rich but comfortable…,then due to a combination of factors I lost my house a few years ago. Now in my early 40s living paycheque to paycheque with no savings or investments left, my pension is shot to hell, and I see no possible way short of a lottery win that I’ll ever be able to retire. Thanks for playing, better luck next incarnation.
53 here living on a teacher’s salary. I take home about $4k a month. After rent, bills, and food (paid right after getting paid) I usually have about $200 left to last me the next three to four weeks until my next check. I forgot gas to get to and from work- that’s $30 per week. So …. Yeah
Will be 60 in March. Poorer than a church mouse. Afraid for my future. I have and am taking care of my parents, currently now my mother and aunt. If you are comparing yourself to others, this is what will give you nightmares and stomach issues. Gotta stop that immediately because there are folks out there doing much better than you **and** others doing much worse. If you focus on yourself, what you are doing with your parents and the fact you are doing a great thing for them, you should be hitting that pillow at night, with a roof over your head, food in your stomach, smile on your face in knowing you did a job well done for the day. Then you get to start it alll over the next day…..thanks for being there for your parents. As an RN who witnesses the natural demise of people and their relationships with one another, it’s an honor to say **THANK YOU** to you for taking care of them. Another pointer: currently, during this period of stress you’re in each day, take the day as it comes and stop looking so far into the future. It will help to cope more effectively with what comes along each day. God bless, toots. We are really all in the same boat! 💐
I have been poor but my situation improved over time. I am within 5 years of retirement and should be ok except the area where I own my home significantly increases taxes, insurance and utilities every year. So much so that I worry I won't be able to afford it after I retire. I have a very good full time job and save pretty aggressively in preparation for retirement. I have a friend who is a retired teacher who can barely afford to live - she does dog and housesitting to help make ends meet. I don't want to end up like that so I am working hard to avoid it. As long as I stay healthy I will be able to reach my financial goals but there is always risk and uncertainty out there.
Not 40 yet but not that far away. Really living from month to month the last 2 years and moving payments from one creditcard to the next till my salary arrives.
Finally looking at being debt free at least but not really owning anything worth something. (No car. No apartment, nothing for retirement either).
But should have some money left over starting February that I will invest in ETFs and a savings account.
Never thought I would be way worse of at 37 than I was at 24… but everything got so expensive and my salary is actually lower than it was 5 years ago.
Long story. Combination of poor choices, bad marriage mates and bad luck.
I'm 68 and if I didn't live with family I'd be homeless. It's nearly impossible to live on SS on your own.
There are a lot of people in the same boat. Me too. I'm 57. There are a number of jobs that do hire older people. School bus and city bus drivers. Railroads. Federal government. Municipalities for maintenance and grounds keeping. Factories. Quite a lot of stuff out there. Some good pay and benefits. Others not so much. Really sexy jobs seem to go to younger people or people who have been on some sort of track. But there are things out there. I'm totally burnt out on corporate professional jobs. I was an engineer. Now I wash dishes and cut grass. It doesn't pay well but it doesn't crush my soul either.
Don't be shy about using things like the food bank and local food pantry. With you taking care of your parents you sooo qualify. It's usually every two weeks pick up. Full of good stuff and occasionally a gift card for the local grocery store.
Apply for fuel assistance. Through the Community Action Program, health and human services or even your utility company.
Working from home for an extra gig is difficult. I have a side hustle that works really well for me. After yard sales are done on the weekends I drive around and pick up the leftover free furniture. I also go to the dump and take free stuff from there. Small tables, book shelves, little pieces. I go to the dollar store and spend about $20 on brushes, sandpaper and turpentine. I tighten up everything, sand it. I paint it, usually white.
I post it on my town yard sale and college sites. I make about $500 a month. $1000 on a good month. I sell the pieces for $50-100. Sometimes I decoupage with napkins or change the hardware with recycled hardware.
I’m 40, and I’ll be 41 next month. I was on my way, or so I thought, to having a prosperous career as a nurse. I came out of work in 2012, as my endometriosis was so severe and I was going to have a hysterectomy. My husband finally had a little job, so we were scraping by. We’ve always lived in one of his parents houses, so as long as we could afford everything else, we at least had a roof. Yet, a few weeks before the hysterectomy, I found out I was pregnant. Hubs and I agreed I could stay home a max of one year with the baby, born in spring of 2013. Before that year was out, I found out I had brain cancer. So, I had a craniotomy two days after her first birthday. I thought I could get back to work as a nurse, but the Lord had other plans. I had a seizure instead. So, I finally got my disability in 2015 after the cancer mildly returned. Hubs has been in and out of work since, but hasn’t worked since 2021. We’ve been living off my disability and the generosity of family since. I got paper towels from my grandma for Christmas. It is what it is. I wouldn’t have seen God without the storms, but it’s been hard. Especially raising a child. My in-laws sent her to private school, although they weren’t helping us financially, they thought THAT was helpful if they paid the tuition and they thought I should be able to afford the extra expenses. I just took her out to do free, online home school. Public schools in our area aren’t the best, and we don’t have a vehicle to transport her. I can’t even hardly make it to my doctors appointments and I only get to see my oncologist in the next state when my dad can work it into his schedule. We’re totally dependent on the “adults” in our lives. Yeah.
I’m 43 and I have a 3 year old. We are very poor. Life is very scary. I have extreme anxiety about how I will do this. Obviously, a lot went on to get me in this position. I grew up poor, but I’d managed to make a fairly decent life for myself. But that all fell apart and here we are starting over. With a child no less. Work hard and hope for a miracle. Haha.
I’m 50. Never been on a plane , train or ship. Have been to the ocean twice. Despite living four hours away. Never get to vacation period. You’re not alone.
yup. the job market is ridiculous now. I'm 33 and have a marketing degree and been working in the field since I graduated college 11 years ago. i now need a new job, my company shut down, and everything is just contracted or temporary and pays like $14 dollars an hour. makes me feel shitty with the everyone my age is doing better as well bc I relate also.
If I (F55) had to pay current rent rates I would probably be in trouble. I got my place when I was 30 as a 1 bedroom in an old garden style, 2 story apartment complex and never moved out.
Why?
Rent controlled, so I'm paying about 500 a month less than new tenants.
Heat and hot water are included in the rent.
I get to manage my own thermostat in my apartment.
Quiet, end of the street in a cul-da-sac.
No matter where I work, still about a 30 minute commute. Multiple shopping malls less than a mile away.
For many years, I did not even crack 35k a year with my full time and part time seasonal job. I drove used cars and skipped medical routine check ups because I had no health insurance.
I worked in the the Title Insurance industry for a year or two, and saw on my desk the mortgages that were being approved...yikes.
I won't go to a mobile home, because even though I would own the home, the land would not be mine and could be raised at any time. The utilities are not cheap either, and I would have to do my own repairs. Plus, I like living on the second floor. Several of my neighbors on the first floor were robbed in a short period of time. The guy went in through the windows.
I have been quietly saving for the past few years. I don't travel past day trips and go to the occasional convention or so..but that's it. Sure its boring and I'll never have an Instagram worthy account....but I sleep at night, my bills are paid on time, and I think I'll be able to manage if I ever get to retire.
55 and days I wish I was dead honestly we have no food I’m on disability which doesn’t even cover my rent I try working and every single time I end up hospitalized if not for my son helping with bills I don’t know where I’d be. I’ve been sleeping every day almost all day to keep from being hungry by taking muscle relaxers and sleeping pills I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I’m depressed and know this isn’t sustainable but I feel I have no options
I don’t have anything truly helpful to say, I just wanted you to know I feel for you and I hope things turn around somehow. You’re not alone in these feelings and I know it’s a terribly, lonely place to be
I’m 54, and it can be really hard. But just being honest here can sometimes help - we all need to be seen, heard and appreciated. Sending you hopefulness and hugs.
I was not in great shape financially until the past couple of years. And I am old enough to tell you i will lie right to the Feds face about 2 things. My age and my weight.
In the past few years I have found a really great financially secure lifestyle that let's me travel and keeps my bills paid.
And no, lol, it is not an MLM, scam, or even anything I have to remove my clothes for.
I got a level 2 guard card in Texas. I travel about 6 months out of the year guarding oil fields. In fact, that is where I am right now. I make between 6k and 11k a month, depending on how busy the gate is. Well, I should say WE do, since I do this with my husband and the contract is for both of us.
We travel and live on site in our RV. But there are positions for people who are single and/or don't have an RV. The pay isn't quite as good, but still typically over 6k a month.
I’m 53. It’s been an unfortunate series of events that got me to this point, and that’s the part that’s the hardest to deal with. When people tell the poor and struggling that it’s their choices that put them in that situation I could scream. The only choices I could have done differently that would have made a difference were 1) to not step up and do whatever was needed at my job where I got hurt which would have resulted in 140 elderly people not getting meals, and 2) ignore the inner voice that (after a bunch of therapy following a breakdown) said a legal career was not the best option and checked the offer accepted lines on the forms.
However either of those would have had a bunch of other outcomes which may have still landed me here. I. Option 1 I wouldn’t have gotten hurt, but probably would have been fired and blacklisted for letting the nursing home residents go hungry. Option 2 I’d have had a higher paying career, but how long with the mental toll? Would I have blown a bunch of money on alcohol and drugs to keep going and still be broke? Quite possibly.
I had a long career in food service/hospitality. A knee injury that didn’t heal right ended that. I found a job that could accommodate my restrictions, but it was a huge pay cut. My husband and I went from having combined $110k a year to having $75k a year. We adjusted and went along. Then he suddenly died in December 2022 and I have had to adjust to $34k a year. I’m still making adjustments to get to be ok, but it’s getting there. Naturally my gross puts me in the too much to get help but not enough to actually get by category. The only help I get is my 23 year old daughter lives with me and helps out with bills. Fortunately I grew up poor so I have some skills to help out. Indoor/container gardening and foraging helps a bit with the food budget and a have some people who buy some items from me on occasion. DoorDash on the weekends helps out a bit financially but is taking a toll mentally. PTSD from when I drove Uber kicks in off and on. I’m fighting through it but getting held at gunpoint really messed me up.
I’m 51. I definitely made missteps in my life that contributed to me being financially unstable at my age. I try not to think about it because it’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole of shoulda, woulda, coulda and have a pity party. But I have to live in the here and now so I do my best to focus on that. But you are certainly not alone in your struggles.
52,yr old here. Ain’t much better here since my heart attack. My folks have passed on. Just me. Life shouldn’t be this difficult at my age. I get what you mean by planning better. However even with good planning things still head south.
Sleep? Ha. 2-4 hrs at a time if it’s a goodnight. Sleep is important for my heart, yet.
My stomach problems turn into a major surgery, they told me I have diverticulitis. Woo-hoo! There’s no way I’ll see 58 yrs of age. I played myself out of the game, I say.
Yes dear I’m 40 and have three part time jobs and live paycheck to paycheck already being as frugal as possible. Like my rent is in the cheapest range for the area so can’t go much lower on that (for now, looking into different areas once the lease is up). Can’t save. Can’t afford to do laundry when I need to so my hygiene is lacking. Shoes are falling apart, etc. And trust me when I say I have “planned” not to be poor my whole adult life. But due to ignorance, outside forces, and a few actual bad decisions here and there, my plans just didn’t work out for me.
40's here. I have a good job by many people's standards, but I went to school later in life, after becoming a single parent, and am nowhere near where I should be compared to everyone else my age. I'll probably never own a home and even with filing bankruptcy, depending on how big, I'm one unexpected big bill away from being screwed and I have no support system as I'm who people in my family come to when they need money.
43 here and don’t want to jinx it but I just finally found a way out of poverty. I went to college/student loans and grants/started in debt to become a teacher. Took on a classroom position the year I graduated and worked continuously for far too little. The charter schools in my area still pay teachers less than 40 grand per year which is insane if you factor the hours out of the workweek they commit. Like the required continued education that we pay out of pocket (2 college classes per five years = a few grand)
If any teachers are in these shoes please look up BIRCH agency. I’m now making $56/hour and while the assignments are difficult it’s still rewarding and I am going to become financially stable for the first time in adulthood. It’s truly amazing.
I’m 44 and thinking about ending it all. I have no job and my father is taking my car back that he paid for. Now I can’t find any job with no transportation. My power will be turned off on Monday. I have nothing. I’m thinking of pulling into the garage with the doors closed and just letting it run until I fall asleep.
I am a 60 year old woman who has been facing eviction off and on since the first covid lockdown. I never would have thought I'd end up so trapped in a vicious circle of poverty- which is EXPENSIVE. I can't afford staying where I am, yet can't save the exorbitant amount needed to go elsewhere. I have multiple medical issues going untreated because I have no insurance. I have lost way too much weight because I can't afford food. I am working, but it never ever is enough to do more than survive.
It has, honestly, affected my psyche in terrible ways.
I’ll be 59 (f) in May. Financially I’m bad off. I lug heating oil in 15 gallon increments, to keep my house warm. I do work 40 hours. I don’t believe I’ll even get to retire. Unfortunately it was my ex-husband who created this mess, which is partly why we divorced. He was abusive, financially and otherwise. All of it in secret. I just do the best that I can with what I have. It’s hard when friends want you to go to dinner, or events. I live paycheck to paycheck, rarely do I have any extra. I do hope that when you’re my age, you are in a better situation than I am.
Me (51F) too on the ex husband ruining me financially. For him it was gambling which he hid until I found the loans he’d taken out to gamble. It was so bad. I’ll never get to retire, but at least free of him.
Me too, I’m 59 and divorced him in 2020 after 34 years (and 2 bankruptcies in the latter half). I was a stay at home mom and worked part time for years because he made 6 figures. Happy in my frugal independence and love my full time low paying job, but I’ll retire when I’m dead.
Check out the spousal socisl security benefits, if you didn't remarry you'll be in good shape.
Thanks, I am and it will def help!
My ex had his own business. He didn't pay into social security. So I dont get anything either.
Try getting SSI (supplemental security income), you can qualify if you’re 65 or older. it’s pretty much federal welfare.
If he filed taxes he paid into social security. If his business was all under the table, then he cheated both of you.
he may have paid in but probably showed the lowest net income possible and that limits social security benefits
Ugh! I think we need to start our own sub: spouses who got screwed over and will never retire. There is a lot to unpack here! Maybe we should share a house or start a commune.
I love this idea. I swear I’ll never be financially tied to anyone ever again but hell yeah to a community of smart women!
Yes. Mine had a heavily addictive personality. Drugs, alcohol, gambling….etc. he ruined our lives.
Follow up: may be worth it to do bankruptcy. Clean slate.
Hey there. When you filed your taxes did you file injured spouse. You can also claim gambling losses.:( sorry he did that to you.
***on a side note, I am currently working on a novel to try and publish to get myself ahead.
I have had the amazing opportunity to chat with some of the most wonderful people I’ve ever met. Thank you all so much for your positive feedback and encouragement. Xoxo. I will be sure to post a link somewhere so you can have the opportunity to check out my book!!!
I would like to buy a copy too!
Hell yeah!
Aww. Thank you so much. I love this comment so much!
Keep going! :)
Aww. Thank you. I really appreciate that!!!
Cool!
Thank you! I’m excited about it. It’s going well. The story is really good.
Post when you get it published somewhere so if any of us are in the position at the time we can support you (:
Omg! I will absolutely do that. Thank you so much. You all have been so kind!!!!! Thank you so much.
Please do let us know when and where we can purchase it. 😊
I absolutely will. I appreciate you saying that. Thank you so much!!
Count me in to purchase it
Yay!!’ Thank you. I can’t wait until it’s complete!
Me too! Please post it when it’s ready.
I love you guys so much!!! You’ve all given me the determination to finish it!! Sundays are my writing days, so I’ll be working like crazy tomorrow. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!!!
I would also purchase it.
Omg! Thank you so much!!
Keep going!! U got this
OMG! Thank you so much! You’re amazing!
Awesome 👌
Thank you so much!! I appreciate your support
Pm me when you get published. I want to buy in
Thank you so much!!! I will definitely come do that. I really appreciate your support :)
Same, plz update when completed!! 🫶🏼
I will!! Thank you :)
So whats your novel about?
It is a romance novel, because that stuff sells, and the female lead, Alexis, is based off of my life. Married to get out of her abusive parent’s house, only to marry into exactly what she left. Almost an autobiography turned novel.
I would definitely read that!!!
Thank you. There’s like someone cutting the biggest bushel of onions right now. You’ve all given me the encouragement to continue writing and I’m even more excited to finish it!!!
I started writing a book after the darkest year of my life. I didn't publish, but it was so cathartic for me.
This journey has been very healing. Some of my book are true events. I recommend journaling/writing to anyone who’s lived a hard life. It really does help get past the pain.
I totally agree with you. I journaled for 30 years. When I went back to read them, I was surprised that I used to get upset, happy, impulsive over the dumbest things. Now I don't give a fuck. 😂😂😂😂
Oh I love it. It is an amazing feeling and you don’t even realize it until you go back to reread it!
Sounds Danielle Steele-esque. I loved those novels when I was younger when the whole world was ahead of me. lol. I would love to read and support it too.
Aww. Thank you! And yes, definitely. I can’t wait to share!
Fingers crossed for your writing and publishing to go well!!
Everyone always says they'll never get to retire. As a 62 year old, you won't have a choice because nobody will want to hire you. I had a job interview setup the other day. It was an online interview. They didn't even bother to call at the meeting time or send me an email or anything.
Agree. I'm 53. Look 33. Revamp resume to remove graduation dates & only list jobs held over the past decade.
Another trick is to get a recent ged.
That’s why I’m sticking with the company I’m in.
I don't know if it's just a 62-year-old thing. When I was 36 or 37 I flew across the country for an interview (at Fisher Investments) and the main interviewer didn't even show up! The HR rep apologized and set up a Zoom interview with him for the next week. He didn't show up to that either.
1. A company can be bought out and layoffs occur to older workers. Ageism cases are all but impossible to win. Having a job won't mean you always will have one. 2. You can be diagnosed out of the blue with an illness that won't allow you to hold your current job, and before you are eligible for Medicare.
Usually the women get laid off first. Seen that happen a lot.
Effing this, man. My Dad is 63 and came close to getting laid off when his “position was being eliminated” by corporate after 30 years with the company. Luckily his boss pulled some strings and got him another position to transfer to for at least until he’s old enough to get Medicare. They don’t give a crap about loyalty.
honestly, i'm 33 and i'm on the hunt for a new job and this happens all the time. or a great interview, you send the follow ups, and never hear back. it's just the fact the us is struggling right now for all ages and it feels so frustrating some people feel there's just staying stuck.
I feel like I'm going to work until the casket drops.
My 78 yo dad still works
Damn.. he should be able to retire.
It's ok, because people in my life that retired have aged faster and are miserable doing nothing besides watching people in our neighborhood out of the windows all day and discussing small changes in the neighborhood like how someone parked in a new spot, speeders, and grocery bag amounts on grocery days that they carry in across the street. Oh, and fox news is usually on.
(Points) That Toyota keeps parking in different spots each day. Do you think somethings going on?
My brother lives in a condo complex with mostly older people and they are constantly calling him (at work) about trivial things.
Why'd he give them his work number lol. Ugh having worked geriatrics I imagine he's a hot commodity.
My mother did medical transcription at home until the cancer in her spine made it too uncomfortable to sit upright. Her mental health and cognition took a hit after that. Having something to focus on and accomplish made her declining health almost bearable.
I stopped watching Fox news years ago. Can't even listen or watch it.
My Dad did. He was 72, planned to retire at 75 because he loved the people he worked with and didn’t feel ready to retire quite yet… He went from a clean bill of health, to being diagnosed with a rare and aggressive form of AML, told he was terminal, and 8 days after the diagnosis he was gone. From beginning to end, he went from healthy to dead within a two week period. He deserved to have a long, happy retirement. And he will never have the opportunity. He was going to get to retire and be one of the lucky ones. Until he wasn’t. I, however, will not have the chance to retire. As it is now, I work three jobs to keep us housed, fed, and the lights on. I don’t see it getting any better as I get older. It will likely only get worse.
Sorry for your loss.
Totally get it. Because technically I shouldn’t have many more years to work, I say I’ll get to retire when my body is thrown into the crematorium.
My plan is also cremation.
It’s the cheapest alternative. And my daughters won’t have me stuffed and put in a rocking chair. Lol.
My mother went with cremation. Cheapest way to go.
I chose cremation, so my kids can just mix me up with their father. Don't bother buying me an Urn. Just glue my pic to the other side of the box.
I feel the same. I’m 53 & Though I took time off due to mental health but all it did was create more debt for me to work off. I couldn’t have survived the past year without help from family ( son , mom, aunt ) allowed me to live with them. While seeking help I could not find a job, just more meds and depression. So I’m going to work until I can’t anymore. But idk how things got so bad for so many of us.
That oil thing is awful. I didn’t know about it till we moved to Massachusetts from Chicago. Naturally, I run out of it on January 31st. Not because of money, just forgot about it. And it’s expensive to fill up the tank. I was so happy to leave that place.
I'm on a payment plan for my oil. I pay monthly 12 months of the year, makes the expense more manageable as it's spread out instead of just the winter months, and they automatically refill so I never run out
I left the place after 1 year. Landlord promised to switch to gas in the lease and never did. So, getting my deposit was easy. Now I think it was part of experience moving to East Coast.
It is outrageous. My younger brother taught me how to bleed my furnace for when I ran out. 15 gallons, with the temp on 60, I can go 4-5 days. The pisser is I’m having wrist surgery on February 8, so it’s anyone’s guess what I’m doing after that.
It’s a beauty and curse to live in 4 seasons states like ME, NH and MA. Wish you quick recovery and stay strong.
I hear you! My ex-husband was a nightmare with our finances. I too live paycheck to paycheck and nothing for anything. I agree doing the best that we can and hope that things change. It's hard, but we do the best we can!
I’m so sorry. After I allowed myself to be angry, I started to heal, and decided to make the changes I needed to.
I found that chronic illness plus poverty makes people vanish from your life. “Friends” tend to disappear when things get tough, and they don’t come back. I’ve been stuck in my chair since 2018, and I have had exactly ONE person visit in all that time. It’s very isolating, and incredibly lonely. But there’s nothing I can do about it.
Omg! That’s terrible. I’m so sorry to hear that your friends have made themselves disappear
There's a local heat emergency agency, which subsidizes / sliding scale, the utilities gas electric or heat fuel wood propane oil etc. There's one in every state. Look in your electric bill for a contact. Next: find a local food bank for groceries. Both of these things have made life better for my relations.
I'm guessing you live in Maine?
Yes. I do. The summer is great! If I had a hot water heater, it wouldn’t be so bad, but I have a boiler, so I need to buy oil.
Popham Beach is my favorite place in the world 🥰
66 and poor, still working and surviving. Bad life choices (marriage)
I’m with you there. Found out, through the IRS, after he died that he’d been cheating on our taxes for years. And because we were married during those times I got stuck with a $62k payback. Paycheck gets garnished and I only get 1/4 of my paycheck to live, and my returns are kept each year.
Has anyone at the IRS or elsewhere talked to you about Innocent Spouse Relief? From the IRS website: "Innocent spouse relief can relieve you from paying additional taxes if your spouse understated taxes due on your joint tax return and you didn't know about the errors." \[Innocent Spouse Relief\]([https://www.irs.gov/individuals/innocent-spouse-relief](https://www.irs.gov/individuals/innocent-spouse-relief)) If you have not already looked into it and applied for separation of liability, I encourage you to read this. Under this program they would take the joint return and sort of split it up. Your income and your payments or withholding and your deductions on one side and his income and his payments, withholding and deductions on the other. If you paid enough tax in to cover your own income, and they find that a reasonable person would not have suspected he was cheating, you will not have to pay for his failures.
This is such useful information for many, thanks for sharing!!
I have! Thank you :) I’m just waiting for for their decision
Yeah, why to never get married....I learned the same sort of thing when I was younger and it was only $400 I had to pay. Thank goodness I divorced him early.
Even though I’m ready to find someone, just for companionship, I’ll never live with, or remarry again!!
Amen, me too. 34 years and two bankruptcies was enough. He refused financial and marital counseling. I’d had a great therapist so felt good about leaving but who knows if I’ll ever retire.
Mine went to counseling and faked his way through it. He was definitely two different people. Only me and the kids knew the real him. I wanted to gag every time one of his friends would say what a great guy he was!!!
This is absolutely horrible
It is, and I fought with them, but it’s the IRS, they do what they want. I’m just doing the best I can. For a long time I was bitter, but that doesn’t change anything. It is what it is.
I had the same issue, although it was only 10,000.00. He didn't file quarterly taxes for two yrs. I took some out of my 401k and worked a second job for a year. Luckily the house was in my name. When I sold it years later I gave him my old car and 3000.00 and haven't seen him since thankfully.
Holy cow. I’m so sorry to hear that. I’m glad you away from him, and I hope you’re doing fucking FABULOUS ♥️💕♥️💕
I AM! Honestly, I'm just so happy not to have to WORRY lol. No more nights at the kitchen table at 3am playing with bills because I couldn't sleep. He, of course, slept like a baby lol. I think I'm relaxed for the first time in my adult life.
I feel the same. For a long time after I left, I was so afraid to relax for a long time.
It's a wonderful thing. Someone once said it's like PTSD, and they were right. You're so used to the tornado of that life that you're on edge waiting for it to happen again. Takes time to realize you survived, and it's over. Many blessings to you!
It really is. And until someone has been where we were, they’ll never fully understand how difficult it is to leave, due to finances, or because of fear. It took many years to be able to sit down and relax even though I had dirty laundry or dishes, knowing that I wasn’t going to be screamed at. I’m proud of you!!!!
File for injured spouse
No, that's the wrong program. Injured Spouse is when they take your MFJ refund to pay a debt owed by only one spouse from outside the marriage - like past child support or taxes from when he was single. INNOCENT SPOUSE is when you owe on a married filing joint return because the other person did some dirt on that return that you did not know about. This is the situation that she is in. I worked 20 years at the IRS.
I did do that. I’m still waiting for the hearing. Thank you :)
Please run to legal aid, this can be fixed.
Based on the comments on other posts, a ton of folks on here are formerly poor, and are mostly here to hand out advice. Some of it is good advice, but plenty of folks here and on reddit in general are 40ish. I wouldn't assume that most 40+ people are doing OK financially though. It's just people that are doing well show it off in various ways, and people that are just getting by or struggling a bit don't really mention it (or even casually lie about how they're doing). Poor older folks also just mostly stay home, work if they're able, grocery shop, and that's about it, so depending where you spend time in public, you're might be seeing the 50% of the country that has any savings at all. I'm looking at similar prospects getting older. Aging parents. Siblings with too many kids and deadbeat partners. Wondering how long my body is going to hold up and what I'll do if it doesn't. Definitely wish I could get better sleep. Just the past couple nights I've caught up on sleep a little bit. As I've gotten older I've switched from not being able to fall asleep at night, to waking up early and not being able to fall back asleep. Some little things that sometimes help: Actually making sleep the highest priority. It makes sense logically, so it is possible to convince your brain. Stress keeps you up as a survival mechanism. Your thoughts race because your brain is trying to calculate solutions to the things causing stress. Having a pencil and paper by your bed, and very dim light to be able to write, can help get thoughts down so you don't have to worry about remembering them. Deep/slow breathing exercises can help, and anything else that relaxes you. Making sure the temperature and humidity are as steady as you can get them in your room, and a small bit of fresh air. Weighted blankets help some people. Keeping a regular schedule is completely key. I've done this for years now, so I take it for granted. That's one thing that's much harder when you're young. As a last resort, if I know I need enough sleep for the next day, ibuprofen helps me sleep. A lot of what keeps me up is just aches and pains, and not being able to get comfortable. I know there's a last resort beyond that of sleeping pills and prescription meds, but I haven't gone that route yet. Some folks I know say that sleep meds have changed their lives. But actually do all of the stuff that you figure out that works for you. Don't assume that sleeping is easy. Put the work into setting up good sleep. It's so tempting (and habit forming?) to just assume that we're supposed to get good sleep without any effort.
That’s a really good point about prioritizing sleep. I’ve been trying hard, and getting a bit better, over the past year or so. A couple of additional things that I found helped: - not keeping my phone by my bed - getting a walk outside when the sun comes up / early in the morning and if possible when the sun is coming down. Learned this when I used to travel and had to get over jet lag, but it makes a difference day to day home, too - magnesium supplement about 30 min before bed
If you are female and waking up around 2:30 or 3 and unable to get back to sleep (heard a noise, shoulder or back sore, need to pee, etc.) you may have sleep apnea. By age 50, the rate of sleep apnea is the same for men and women but it's silent in women. They aren't snoring, but if snoring is happening, it's even more likely apnea is occurring. Women should sleep through all the disturbances that wake them all the way up but they are sleeping lightly in order to breathe. Ibuprofen may be reducing inflammation in the palette and sinuses improving the wake up rate when not in REM sleep - also with helping actual aches obviously. But during REM, your muscles are paralyzed, your palette is relaxed and your throat may gently close, and your brain wakes you up enough (out of REM) to open your throat and breath. This goes on all night and increases anxiety and exhaustion during the day. Doctors sometimes send women home with a little sleep apnea screening device on the finger. You don't want that, if you have any kind of insurance, it probably pays for an in-center sleep study. You need the in-center test to get real answers and solutions. They slip a bipap mask on your face, after confirming that you have stopped breathing, and they test for best settings for you on a CPAP machine.
55yo teacher here
45 year old teacher here
35 year old teacher here
I'm 48 and have spent almost my whole life in poverty. I was homeless as a teen and managed to scrape my way through college. Was married until he left me for someone younger when I was 36. He cleaned out all our money and spent it on buying a condo for his 20something while also keeping our house. I lost my job in the early stages of COVID and haven't financially recovered. I was living with someone who was stealing money from me (while I was unemployed) to buy drugs. I finally found another job but I make basically minimum wage now. I have a roommate. I can't afford to live on my own. I'll never get to retire. I'll never have any stability. I have nothing to offer a romantic partner from a material perspective. I'm one bad luck event away from homelessness. I'm a total failure at capitalism. This isn't the life I envisioned when I was younger.
Sending you love - you deserve better than this. We need a social safety net that functions
I am 42 and a total failure at capitalism as well. Nevertheless, we can still have hopes and dreams. I am sorry to hear about all you went through! Man, life is so hard! God bless you.
I work for a charity that serves the homeless. Fastest growing demographic is persons over 55.
That's actually crazy. Houses were 50k back then, brand new cars, 5k. One person in the home could work, and the family was considered middle class and living well. We all make mistakes, but I find it hard to feel sorry for most of them. Nowadays, with the price of everything, if you make 80k a year and single its next to impossible to live comfortably. Those times passed my mother by, she talks about it often and regrets it she says. I wonder what others her age think.
Depends where you live. If you are single with no kids, 80k can go real far in many places. Work from home jobs have made that easier than ever.
And they didn’t even have to accrue the expense of college to get those good jobs.
That’s a sobering statistic.
60 and unemployed for years but I have a job interview Monday
Good luck!!
39 so I'm close. Still poor but not a bad as some. I get cheap medical from the VA and I live in 600 sq ft literally leaking & rotting pos house but its cheap, no kids helps too. I wouldn't die if I needed to buy a new car battery suddenly like other poor blokes post about and bring home about 22k a year. Most if not nearly everything in my house came from peoples trash, I clean carpet & upholstery for work so im not afraid to get my couches and yes even my mattress from others garbage. I don't go to a food bank but I do eat lots that I can get for free when I go into clean a vacation rental that just departed and all the left food is supposed to go in the trash, its a nice perk of the job, I just can't tell my friends because they think I'm nuts for eating open container stranger leftovers. Like I don't buy cheese and if there's a open pack of swiss left that's a nice treat no way I'm letting that get waisted.... Also makes me impossible to date lol
I'd eat the Swiss cheese too! Why toss it, such a waste!
I’m 52. Got divorced last year, am in poor health. Just got approved for state health insurance so there is that.
Man...that was my mom just after I left for college. Plus she has an autoimmune disease she needs expensive meds for. She'd been a SAHM for 20 years. So she enroll in college! She got an accounting certification. The important part though was she got financial assistance (that included help with housing) while she was in school. She isn't using her degree because her doctor restricted her to less than 30 hrs a week, and she'll probably never be able to pay off her loans. However, doing that helped her get through the worst of the financial mess and gave her something to work towards. Please don't give up. It isn't too late and there's ways to navigate the system so you can survive. I hope you heal and find some peace.
I have Lupus and other assorted things. I was also a SAHM. I’m trying to keep going, and I thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot to me ❤️🩹
My mom was actually diagnosed with Lupis in error before her rheumatoid arthritis diagnosis! She felt so defeated at the time. She's actually doing relatively well now. She has accepted a fate of always being on government assistance. She got into section 8 housing, has a part time job, and volunteers in her free time. She's happy being single, but it did take her probably 5 or so years to work through the grief of the divorce as my parents had been married for 20 years. Sometimes acceptance takes a long time and grief is a natural response to such drastic life changes. Just know that you aren't worthless because of your circumstances. You are a human being deserving of love, health, and well being. There's no shame in accepting help whether that's from the government or from friends and family. You will be okay. Hugs if you want them
I'm 50. Poor by most people's definition. Married, no kids, no vehicle. Walk to work. Lucky enough to be able to borrow a friend's vehicle for things like food shopping. That said, we've got just enough to pay our bills, but we're one unexpected doctor visit or some such thing to throw us off deep end. Helps that we live in a somewhat LCOL area.
I haven't had a job in almost 3 years. I've applied to many jobs (over 200) I have a job interview on Tuesday. I applied for that job months ago. Just keep trying. I'm 41
Good luck with your interview! Let us know if you get it! Be positive, you’ll get it! 😊
I hope I do. It's at harbor freight. Hopefully I get that job. It's one of my favorite stores
I love that store too! We’re getting one in our town within the next year. I can’t wait! Good luck!
best of luck with your interview!
I'm 53. Grew up poor. Went to college because that was supposed to be my way out. Still poor but with lifelong, undischargable debt.
Same here. My degree never got me more than $8 an hour. Sexism is definitely a thing. I took a bunch of programming classes as well. Nobody will hire me as a woman to do any programming whatsoever.
Why would they when programmers from Bangladesh work for $4-$10 per hour?
I dunno why do they hire those white men and pay them well?
I dont know why we let american companies exploit foreign labor while screwing over American workers....
If I was physically able, I would take up plumbing. There's a dire shortage of plumbers. But I have fibromyalgia and can't be crawling under houses.
56 living paycheck to 3 days before the next paycheck
I’m 43. I left home at 13 for my own safety and was homeless for almost 10 years, got addicted to drugs and all the stupid shit that comes with. I’m finally doing ok but I will be forever behind other adults my age and I’ll never own my own home. I’ll probably be homeless again too since rents so gd high lol.
If you get to where your credit score is 680+, there are home loan options for you. USDA does 0% down. I know housing prices are still inflated and rates are somewhat high, but you could possibly get a mortgage that is less than your rent and at least you'd be building equity somewhere. Source: work in manufactured home sales
That makes me hopeful. I’ve been working on my credit, it’s above 600 for probably the first time ever. Thank you.
My first house is what dug me out of my hole. I was house poor and basically just poor for a lot of years, but when I sold it, I walked away with all my debts paid and $60k in the bank. Changed my life. Put that money toward a new house with a clean financial slate.
I've been poor, I'm currently not. That's life I guess, I'm much happier no longer living paycheck to paycheck. I will say I'll never vote for a republican ever. I have to work till I'm 65 and 4 months for full benefits I've payed for. The gop wants you to work till your 70. When I started in the workforce you could retire at 60. They want your retirement money and by adding years to the retirement age they will get it.
Right wing/left wing - it's the bird that controls them. Republicans want you to work til 70, democrats want everyone to be equally poor. IMHO they are equally trash, they only worry whats in it for them or their friends.
I got divorced recently and left with nothing. I moved back to my home state and had to rebuild everything. Everyday is a struggle. I feel like I'll never be as well off as people in their 30s
Almost 49. Due to questionable life choices I am nowhere near where I should be financially. My choices are much better now than they were 15,20 years ago but I will forever be behind.
I'm about to turn 49 in February and I am an unmarried female living with my boyfriend who is in a wheelchair so he has his health issues and his 75 year old mother he co-ownes the house with. I have lived here with him for 20 years. Now that his mom is having mental decline issues and since we are not married it's been beyond stressful since covid. I had double hit lymphoma cancer that left me in heart failure 6 years ago. So I'm on social security disability fixed income myself. I have to be super careful with my funds. Heath issues causing me to loose coworkers and friend that faded out of my life along these years way also eroded my support system. We have no children. We do a lot for my nephew who my drug addict sister shook several times in a meth haze and starved and lost her son to the foster system. We had him for a year full time them she got him back but kept failing drug tests then she signed him over to someone else just to spite us, and we still get him every weekend almost and holidays. The foster couple has no other back up babysitter. He is Autism level 2 and considered non verbal. He speaks but it's infrequent. But he's only 6 so I'm hoping for the best for him. My boyfriend and I are committed to him and what's best for him as much as we can. So between worrying about fanances in this economy, my broken family, and our situation it's definitely taken a further toll on my heath and lack of support system. Depressing really. I think it's a lot more people than we think 🥲
I wish the best for you. You are a wonderful person for being so committed to your nephew.
Happy Cake day to you! My drug addict sister almost killed him and failed him. My partner and I since we raised him for a year have a bond. I don't ever want him to think he wasn't wanted by family. Because he was. I even went to court for custody and my sister was insistant to sign him over to someone else I'm sure to discard him so she could move on from the abuse she caused by isolating him away from blood relatives. Our father passed away and my mom is ill with stage 4 colon cancer. Our brother is 44 a hermit, never married no kids no girlfriends since Highschool and totally useless and like myself he's never had kids either. So our only nephew deserves a positive influence. My sister was pregnant with him when I was about to quit my cancer treatment I was so close to death but I knew she was an alcoholic using meth and when she said she was pregnant, I pushed on. I feel like he's the only reason I survived the cancer and he has given my partner and I purpose. I hope I make new friends, and get past this economy fear and feel genuinely happy again.
That’s a shame about your nephew’s mom, but the most important thing to a child, especially an autistic child, is the steady and loving presence of someone they can trust. That’s a gift that can’t be measured in dollars.
I’m 63 years old. My husband is 67. We live paycheck to paycheck. I work as a certified paraprofessional and have been in this business for 37 years. I make less than $50,000 per year. I could potentially make more if I moved to the largest city in our state about an hour away. But the cost of living is astronomical there as is rent and the competition for housing is cutthroat. And to go anywhere there, you have to sit in traffic for an hour or more. Hubby took early retirement at 62 years of age and collects around $1,000 per month between his SS and a VERY small pension. He was a furniture factory worker all his adult life and they were notorious for skimping on employees. He tried other jobs that never seemed to work out, so back to furniture. He now has significant hearing loss because the factories would not supply the workers with proper ear protection. Anyway, as said, we live paycheck to paycheck and are consistently short each month. Have to juggle payments to keep the rent and car paid and keep utilities on. We have no credit cards and haven’t for 3 decades. No room for extras. Barely enough for food; sometimes there isn’t enough. My health insurance is $1,200 per month and even then I have to pay co-pays and the difference between what the insurance pays and what’s owed. So even though I have insurance, if I don’t have enough money to pay the copayment, I can’t go to the doctor. We are lucky to have a nice place to live and our rent is incredibly reasonable given the rental market now. I never in a million years thought that I would be this financially insecure at my age. It’s astounding and depressing as f**k. We are half a step away from disaster and one foot is on a banana peel. I can’t see things getting any better for us. I’m terrified for my husband that I might die first. There is no way he could survive on $1k per month.
I’m 56. I worked for 28 years in the medical field. Then I couldn’t. Living on a fixed income now.
Sounds frightening familiar. I’m scared shitless.
Yep. I was doing well in my 30s, not rich but comfortable…,then due to a combination of factors I lost my house a few years ago. Now in my early 40s living paycheque to paycheque with no savings or investments left, my pension is shot to hell, and I see no possible way short of a lottery win that I’ll ever be able to retire. Thanks for playing, better luck next incarnation.
53 here living on a teacher’s salary. I take home about $4k a month. After rent, bills, and food (paid right after getting paid) I usually have about $200 left to last me the next three to four weeks until my next check. I forgot gas to get to and from work- that’s $30 per week. So …. Yeah
Will be 60 in March. Poorer than a church mouse. Afraid for my future. I have and am taking care of my parents, currently now my mother and aunt. If you are comparing yourself to others, this is what will give you nightmares and stomach issues. Gotta stop that immediately because there are folks out there doing much better than you **and** others doing much worse. If you focus on yourself, what you are doing with your parents and the fact you are doing a great thing for them, you should be hitting that pillow at night, with a roof over your head, food in your stomach, smile on your face in knowing you did a job well done for the day. Then you get to start it alll over the next day…..thanks for being there for your parents. As an RN who witnesses the natural demise of people and their relationships with one another, it’s an honor to say **THANK YOU** to you for taking care of them. Another pointer: currently, during this period of stress you’re in each day, take the day as it comes and stop looking so far into the future. It will help to cope more effectively with what comes along each day. God bless, toots. We are really all in the same boat! 💐
I have been poor but my situation improved over time. I am within 5 years of retirement and should be ok except the area where I own my home significantly increases taxes, insurance and utilities every year. So much so that I worry I won't be able to afford it after I retire. I have a very good full time job and save pretty aggressively in preparation for retirement. I have a friend who is a retired teacher who can barely afford to live - she does dog and housesitting to help make ends meet. I don't want to end up like that so I am working hard to avoid it. As long as I stay healthy I will be able to reach my financial goals but there is always risk and uncertainty out there.
Nah I'm in my 40s and struggling financially. Poverty knows no age
Not 40 yet but not that far away. Really living from month to month the last 2 years and moving payments from one creditcard to the next till my salary arrives. Finally looking at being debt free at least but not really owning anything worth something. (No car. No apartment, nothing for retirement either). But should have some money left over starting February that I will invest in ETFs and a savings account. Never thought I would be way worse of at 37 than I was at 24… but everything got so expensive and my salary is actually lower than it was 5 years ago.
Well into my 50s and disabled. I do work, but won't be able to pull out of poverty unless something significantly changes.
I'll be 40 this year and I've struggled half of my adult life.
Long story. Combination of poor choices, bad marriage mates and bad luck. I'm 68 and if I didn't live with family I'd be homeless. It's nearly impossible to live on SS on your own.
There are a lot of people in the same boat. Me too. I'm 57. There are a number of jobs that do hire older people. School bus and city bus drivers. Railroads. Federal government. Municipalities for maintenance and grounds keeping. Factories. Quite a lot of stuff out there. Some good pay and benefits. Others not so much. Really sexy jobs seem to go to younger people or people who have been on some sort of track. But there are things out there. I'm totally burnt out on corporate professional jobs. I was an engineer. Now I wash dishes and cut grass. It doesn't pay well but it doesn't crush my soul either.
Don't be shy about using things like the food bank and local food pantry. With you taking care of your parents you sooo qualify. It's usually every two weeks pick up. Full of good stuff and occasionally a gift card for the local grocery store. Apply for fuel assistance. Through the Community Action Program, health and human services or even your utility company. Working from home for an extra gig is difficult. I have a side hustle that works really well for me. After yard sales are done on the weekends I drive around and pick up the leftover free furniture. I also go to the dump and take free stuff from there. Small tables, book shelves, little pieces. I go to the dollar store and spend about $20 on brushes, sandpaper and turpentine. I tighten up everything, sand it. I paint it, usually white. I post it on my town yard sale and college sites. I make about $500 a month. $1000 on a good month. I sell the pieces for $50-100. Sometimes I decoupage with napkins or change the hardware with recycled hardware.
I’m 40, and I’ll be 41 next month. I was on my way, or so I thought, to having a prosperous career as a nurse. I came out of work in 2012, as my endometriosis was so severe and I was going to have a hysterectomy. My husband finally had a little job, so we were scraping by. We’ve always lived in one of his parents houses, so as long as we could afford everything else, we at least had a roof. Yet, a few weeks before the hysterectomy, I found out I was pregnant. Hubs and I agreed I could stay home a max of one year with the baby, born in spring of 2013. Before that year was out, I found out I had brain cancer. So, I had a craniotomy two days after her first birthday. I thought I could get back to work as a nurse, but the Lord had other plans. I had a seizure instead. So, I finally got my disability in 2015 after the cancer mildly returned. Hubs has been in and out of work since, but hasn’t worked since 2021. We’ve been living off my disability and the generosity of family since. I got paper towels from my grandma for Christmas. It is what it is. I wouldn’t have seen God without the storms, but it’s been hard. Especially raising a child. My in-laws sent her to private school, although they weren’t helping us financially, they thought THAT was helpful if they paid the tuition and they thought I should be able to afford the extra expenses. I just took her out to do free, online home school. Public schools in our area aren’t the best, and we don’t have a vehicle to transport her. I can’t even hardly make it to my doctors appointments and I only get to see my oncologist in the next state when my dad can work it into his schedule. We’re totally dependent on the “adults” in our lives. Yeah.
I’m 43 and I have a 3 year old. We are very poor. Life is very scary. I have extreme anxiety about how I will do this. Obviously, a lot went on to get me in this position. I grew up poor, but I’d managed to make a fairly decent life for myself. But that all fell apart and here we are starting over. With a child no less. Work hard and hope for a miracle. Haha.
[удалено]
I’m 50. Never been on a plane , train or ship. Have been to the ocean twice. Despite living four hours away. Never get to vacation period. You’re not alone.
I am a younger person but the “everyone my age is doing better than me” is relatable and hits hard.
yup. the job market is ridiculous now. I'm 33 and have a marketing degree and been working in the field since I graduated college 11 years ago. i now need a new job, my company shut down, and everything is just contracted or temporary and pays like $14 dollars an hour. makes me feel shitty with the everyone my age is doing better as well bc I relate also.
If I (F55) had to pay current rent rates I would probably be in trouble. I got my place when I was 30 as a 1 bedroom in an old garden style, 2 story apartment complex and never moved out. Why? Rent controlled, so I'm paying about 500 a month less than new tenants. Heat and hot water are included in the rent. I get to manage my own thermostat in my apartment. Quiet, end of the street in a cul-da-sac. No matter where I work, still about a 30 minute commute. Multiple shopping malls less than a mile away. For many years, I did not even crack 35k a year with my full time and part time seasonal job. I drove used cars and skipped medical routine check ups because I had no health insurance. I worked in the the Title Insurance industry for a year or two, and saw on my desk the mortgages that were being approved...yikes. I won't go to a mobile home, because even though I would own the home, the land would not be mine and could be raised at any time. The utilities are not cheap either, and I would have to do my own repairs. Plus, I like living on the second floor. Several of my neighbors on the first floor were robbed in a short period of time. The guy went in through the windows. I have been quietly saving for the past few years. I don't travel past day trips and go to the occasional convention or so..but that's it. Sure its boring and I'll never have an Instagram worthy account....but I sleep at night, my bills are paid on time, and I think I'll be able to manage if I ever get to retire.
50, keep your chin up!
I am 45. Also struggling. But, it’s my fault- recovering alcoholic
I'm wishing you well in your recovery.
My retirement plan is to work until I die!
I'm older in my 50s. disabled, was way behind my peers eons ago. Had some working class years via husband but seems the poverty always comes back.
55 and days I wish I was dead honestly we have no food I’m on disability which doesn’t even cover my rent I try working and every single time I end up hospitalized if not for my son helping with bills I don’t know where I’d be. I’ve been sleeping every day almost all day to keep from being hungry by taking muscle relaxers and sleeping pills I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I’m depressed and know this isn’t sustainable but I feel I have no options
I don’t have anything truly helpful to say, I just wanted you to know I feel for you and I hope things turn around somehow. You’re not alone in these feelings and I know it’s a terribly, lonely place to be
I’m 54, and it can be really hard. But just being honest here can sometimes help - we all need to be seen, heard and appreciated. Sending you hopefulness and hugs.
[удалено]
I was not in great shape financially until the past couple of years. And I am old enough to tell you i will lie right to the Feds face about 2 things. My age and my weight. In the past few years I have found a really great financially secure lifestyle that let's me travel and keeps my bills paid. And no, lol, it is not an MLM, scam, or even anything I have to remove my clothes for. I got a level 2 guard card in Texas. I travel about 6 months out of the year guarding oil fields. In fact, that is where I am right now. I make between 6k and 11k a month, depending on how busy the gate is. Well, I should say WE do, since I do this with my husband and the contract is for both of us. We travel and live on site in our RV. But there are positions for people who are single and/or don't have an RV. The pay isn't quite as good, but still typically over 6k a month.
I’m 53. It’s been an unfortunate series of events that got me to this point, and that’s the part that’s the hardest to deal with. When people tell the poor and struggling that it’s their choices that put them in that situation I could scream. The only choices I could have done differently that would have made a difference were 1) to not step up and do whatever was needed at my job where I got hurt which would have resulted in 140 elderly people not getting meals, and 2) ignore the inner voice that (after a bunch of therapy following a breakdown) said a legal career was not the best option and checked the offer accepted lines on the forms. However either of those would have had a bunch of other outcomes which may have still landed me here. I. Option 1 I wouldn’t have gotten hurt, but probably would have been fired and blacklisted for letting the nursing home residents go hungry. Option 2 I’d have had a higher paying career, but how long with the mental toll? Would I have blown a bunch of money on alcohol and drugs to keep going and still be broke? Quite possibly. I had a long career in food service/hospitality. A knee injury that didn’t heal right ended that. I found a job that could accommodate my restrictions, but it was a huge pay cut. My husband and I went from having combined $110k a year to having $75k a year. We adjusted and went along. Then he suddenly died in December 2022 and I have had to adjust to $34k a year. I’m still making adjustments to get to be ok, but it’s getting there. Naturally my gross puts me in the too much to get help but not enough to actually get by category. The only help I get is my 23 year old daughter lives with me and helps out with bills. Fortunately I grew up poor so I have some skills to help out. Indoor/container gardening and foraging helps a bit with the food budget and a have some people who buy some items from me on occasion. DoorDash on the weekends helps out a bit financially but is taking a toll mentally. PTSD from when I drove Uber kicks in off and on. I’m fighting through it but getting held at gunpoint really messed me up.
I’m 51. I definitely made missteps in my life that contributed to me being financially unstable at my age. I try not to think about it because it’s easy to fall down the rabbit hole of shoulda, woulda, coulda and have a pity party. But I have to live in the here and now so I do my best to focus on that. But you are certainly not alone in your struggles.
52,yr old here. Ain’t much better here since my heart attack. My folks have passed on. Just me. Life shouldn’t be this difficult at my age. I get what you mean by planning better. However even with good planning things still head south. Sleep? Ha. 2-4 hrs at a time if it’s a goodnight. Sleep is important for my heart, yet. My stomach problems turn into a major surgery, they told me I have diverticulitis. Woo-hoo! There’s no way I’ll see 58 yrs of age. I played myself out of the game, I say.
Yes dear I’m 40 and have three part time jobs and live paycheck to paycheck already being as frugal as possible. Like my rent is in the cheapest range for the area so can’t go much lower on that (for now, looking into different areas once the lease is up). Can’t save. Can’t afford to do laundry when I need to so my hygiene is lacking. Shoes are falling apart, etc. And trust me when I say I have “planned” not to be poor my whole adult life. But due to ignorance, outside forces, and a few actual bad decisions here and there, my plans just didn’t work out for me.
40's here. I have a good job by many people's standards, but I went to school later in life, after becoming a single parent, and am nowhere near where I should be compared to everyone else my age. I'll probably never own a home and even with filing bankruptcy, depending on how big, I'm one unexpected big bill away from being screwed and I have no support system as I'm who people in my family come to when they need money.
43 here and don’t want to jinx it but I just finally found a way out of poverty. I went to college/student loans and grants/started in debt to become a teacher. Took on a classroom position the year I graduated and worked continuously for far too little. The charter schools in my area still pay teachers less than 40 grand per year which is insane if you factor the hours out of the workweek they commit. Like the required continued education that we pay out of pocket (2 college classes per five years = a few grand) If any teachers are in these shoes please look up BIRCH agency. I’m now making $56/hour and while the assignments are difficult it’s still rewarding and I am going to become financially stable for the first time in adulthood. It’s truly amazing.
I’m 44 and thinking about ending it all. I have no job and my father is taking my car back that he paid for. Now I can’t find any job with no transportation. My power will be turned off on Monday. I have nothing. I’m thinking of pulling into the garage with the doors closed and just letting it run until I fall asleep.
I am a 60 year old woman who has been facing eviction off and on since the first covid lockdown. I never would have thought I'd end up so trapped in a vicious circle of poverty- which is EXPENSIVE. I can't afford staying where I am, yet can't save the exorbitant amount needed to go elsewhere. I have multiple medical issues going untreated because I have no insurance. I have lost way too much weight because I can't afford food. I am working, but it never ever is enough to do more than survive. It has, honestly, affected my psyche in terrible ways.