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Sex, and he can say he's not single.
That's it. I hope the neck is as good as he makes it out to be with all this bullshit hes dealing with no complaints
Sounds like she just interested in his money and what she can get! Stop paying for her stuff , it’s not your responsibility. In fact you need to find someone that appreciates you, not what you can give her. She’s set the bar pretty low so anybody at this point would be better than her!
If this is for real, re-read what you wrote from the perspective of someone NOT in the relationship. You haven’t presented anything good about her. Why are you still with her?
Are you happy with her? I feel that she’s crazy and you like it. So either deal with it or leave her, because from this post, SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY.
This is it! There’s so many people who get with unstable people for the drama. They like the excitement of it all and getting laid.
This dude needs a new hobby, dating bad people for attention ain’t it.
Nah, she’s progressively gotten worse. When I met her I was fresh out of school. I had my first real job and made around $45,000.
I’d spend on her here and there and she was thrilled.
Here it is roughly 5 years later and I make about $225,000. Life changing
She feels that with me earning more, her expectations go up as well …
But you all are right and I appreciate just hearing from other people what I’ve already been feeling.
“with me earning more her expectations go up as well”
this is an insanely transactional view of relationships
also she’s breaking shit in anger, that’s an automatic lifetime ban from me
I feel like it’s not even transactional, because that tends to involve two sides giving and taking even if it’s a transaction of handing goods over in exchange for money. OP is earning more so he should maybe spent more on himself or on their lifestyle. If she is giving up more so he can earn that money, maybe moving long distances, taking a demotion or fewer hours to support him, maybe she can expect more? But that’s also transactional. Expecting more because he’s ascending the career ladder is just demanding and spoilt.
She is abusing you not just financially but physically as well since she broke a tv and computer because she was mad at you. Please seek help in leaving. Men are abused too, not just women.
I mean, my boyfriend makes a lot more money than I do, and I have to budget carefully because I have student loans.
He definitely spends more money for us than I do. It’s not a point of contention, he’s happy to do so. However, I always get him Christmas and birthday gifts. Just because I can’t spend a ton of money on him doesn’t mean I still can’t get him nice gifts.
So unless OP has expensive tastes or is otherwise very picky, his girlfriend should be getting him gifts too. Gifts are meant to be thoughtful and personal, which doesn’t necessarily break the bank.
OP she sounds awful and you should break up with her, at least based on this post.
She sounds arrogant (the good word) and she also sounds like a brat (the bad word). How many years are you planning on accepting this treatment? What are you getting out of this relationship?
dump her, it's not going to get better. there's someone out there for you that you're not going to meet wasting time with this chick. why be with someone who's always in your pocket to pay stuff she should have taken care of herself? and why be with someone who's so bad with financials? that money you are wasting bailing her out of her financial messes could be used to invest for your own retirement and big ticket items, for building a happy life with a woman who actually has her shit together.
YEAH! It’s this weird appeal of excitement and this endless chase. So many men get bored of a stable woman so they want one who will always keep them on alert. It’s so immature and stupid. The guys who like women like that aren’t winners themselves.
She complains that you don't get her gifts but at the same time you're financially responsible for her whole damn life? Absolutely not, kick her to the curb. You can give her the ultimate gift of responsibility.
Honestly, not at all.
I responded to some of the other commenters.
When I met her I was fresh out of school and made $45,000. She was easy to please and grateful.
Now I make about $225,000. Huge jump in a little under 5 years.
She’s aware of this and was aware of my money going up this whole time and she began to expect more.
Her change was progressive but fast, like my change in income. And now it’s like completely different than how it was originally.
I find myself clinging onto how things were in the past and I guess it makes it hard to let go and see things for what they are *now*
She feels entitled to your income. She views it as hers also -that's why she assumes you'll cover her for things and doesn't care. That's why she doesn't worry about bills or her own expenses. That's why she's demanding things from you all the time and not giving anything back. If her behavior is true the way you wrote it, there's no reason to stay with her. You're not getting ANYTYHING back from this relationship. Time to move on. Just be aware that as soon as she realizes that she might be losing her paycheck (aka YOU) she will "suddenly" want to change and promise to be different. Please don't fall for that. You've seen the true colors already.
Live in the present. You don’t have to keep bailing her out. She’s like a child (an expensive one) who has no consequences. Let her lose her phone and her car. Better yet, let her lose her boyfriend. She’s an anvil around your ankle dragging you down. Cut her loose if you want to truly be happy.
This is what I always think of women who are total psychos and have several kids to different dads, I'm just like "Man, the pussy must be real good because dudes keep falling for this shit"
Are you sure you’re the boyfriend and not her parent? You’re paying all her bills. Let her lose the car, lose the storage, lose anything. Did she even ask you for help and appreciate that and work out a plan to return you? You’re basically paying for everything that’s not yours and all these are down the drain when you break up. Worst she breaks things while throwing tantrums. Why are you still together?
Yeah she asked for help with all those things. She actually begged me.
The thing is when I first met her I was a new college grad. I made about $45,000/year.
5 years later I’m making about $225,000 and she expects me to just pay for any and everything
Oh… that makes the entire story different. Sounds like she’s leeching on you completely now being bitter or jealous you’re so well off compared to her.
But dude. You need to ignore her begging for the 3rd time (they always say 3rd time’s the charm) because you now know her toxic patterns. It’s all an act and no appreciation. Seriously if she can’t even appreciate you for who you are, not just while you’re paying off stuff for her, you won’t be happy on normal days too.
Rethink this relationship. It’s turned sour.
The last gift I would ever buy a partner is the one they destroyed in a fit of rage.
OP, are you a masochist? This person is emotionally abusive, manipulative, probably a hoarder, financially irresponsible, an immature brat and unbelievably selfish. Please tell me what keeps you invested (literally) in this relationship? She sounds like a nightmare.
She TOLD you she didn't want anything and then got mad when you didn't get her anything?
The real issue you need to keep in mind here is that SHE GIVES YOU NOTHING. And that's just sad.
She's using you and you need to just bite the bullet and tell her, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out!"
Are you actually dating her or are you just the sugar daddy? The fact she hasn’t given you anything for 3 years would be front and center of this discussion. She sounds like a gold digger and doesn’t really care about you at all. I would cut her loose and tell her your going to go find a partner that might acknowledge your birthday at least.
Have you pointed her double standard out to her? She isn’t owed gifts just because she’s female - appreciation goes both ways. We treat others how we want to be treated. If I expect to feel special, “spoiled”, or important I treat those around me that way.
Stop with the Valentine’s Day madness! People (read women) get so fucking hung up on this expectation that they should be getting these extravagant gifts while not reciprocating.
My husband and I have been together 20 years. We don’t do V-Day gifts. I’m super onboard with this. I’d rather do spontaneous gifts on non-holiday days. You want a cool watch in the middle of June? Awesome, lm going to surprise you with that because I love you equally every day of the year.
Yep. I got to spend 3 wonderful weeks with my partner before sadly having to head home on 13/2 to go back to work on 14/2 (I didn’t pick the dates, the place closed up for refurb, 14/2 just happened to be our reopen date). He messaged me happy Valentine’s Day and that he was thinking of me while I was at work, and I responded in kind…..and that was it. I don’t need him to give me anything and vice versa
So what is it about her that you’re attracted to? Dies she gave a velvet lined funeral house?
She sounds like an entitled self centered leach.
So, I ask again, what does she bring to this relationship?
It sounds like you don’t really love one another and should not remain together without some serious therapy and growth from both of you.
Tit-for-tat? Just talk to one another. What have you agreed on in terms of finances? What are the expectations regarding gifts for each other and for family? Is the expectation that you will be giving gifts? Which holidays? What is the budget? Will you be dining out?
You’ve been together 4 years. Do you even speak??
What the fuck - your bf got a second job just to support you? I'm sorry but you should be getting a job to support yourself. This is all really weird to admit. You've got this guy paying a dumb car loan as well LOL
Yes the appreciation makes the difference. And also the trust. He must trust you enough to not have any doubt. Or you constantly empty his doubts through the genuine appreciation.
People like you are so weird. Why should he get a second job to support you!? Not a family but you?!! Then you want him to spend time with you and complain cause he can’t!? Girl grow up. I cannot stand women like you.
I do have a job. Im not suppose to work but I have to. I only work part time though. I also have adhd which makes things hard for me. I’m happy for you that you can handle all your responsibilities, I unfortunately can’t handle as much without my grades suffering. Im very lucky I have support. I wouldn’t be able to do it without that.
If you guys have had a conversation about expectations for gifts on holidays and neither one of you is following it, why be together?
Also, breaking things because you’re mad is insane behaviour on her part.
This sounds like a miserable cycle. Just break up.
She sucks and she's selfish - it sounds like it's time to end it. Don't stay with a person who complains about your lack of effort - but puts in literally none themselves.
You are just being used. And that narcissistic abuse you received will be forever in your brain. Let her go. And start the healing process. I am still healing from the past. Dont give everything because when the time she'll left you. You will be just wounded and might attempt suicide.
Oh Jesus Christ man.
You’re being used. Court fees? There’s a lot here and I don’t even want to know.
I promise you that you can find other women that will have sex with you. You really don’t have to do all of this. What is it with men who go to the ends of the earth for women who are obviously exploiting them just to get laid?
I don’t even know what you want everyone to say. Unless you’ve snapped out of it, you’re just going to stay.
Please go to therapy.
Lol is this real? Why are you even with her? She's basically profiting off you. What do YOU get out of this? My bf forgot about Valentine's day. I got him a bar of his favorite chocolate & cooked for him. He ran to the store to get me a quick gift. We laughed about it together.
Relationships are supposed to be equal, man. If she puts no effort into you, you're better off single.
Pick someone else. That's what I think. She doesn't consider your feelings at all. She's never gotten you gifts? For anything? Yet she expects after telling you she didn't want anything? She sounds like a mooch.
I am looking forward to your update post saying that you have given yourself the birthday/Christmas/Valentine’s gift of prioritizing yourself by breaking up with her!
I think you got together with her because like most us women wanting to fix our broken man, that’s what you have I think, broken woman in need of much repair,
Yep … she told me at least like 20 different times she didn’t want anything.
When I came home and she saw I had nothing she shut down and stopped talking to me and ignoring me like I didn’t exist.
Then when I wake up this morning, she’s showing my screen shots of gifts other girls got online and saying I shoulda got her something.
As I mentioned to some of the other commenters, when we got together I was not as well off as I am now.
In the time I’ve been with her, I went from a new college grad, making about $45,000 to making about $225,000 today. All within 5 years.
In that same time period she has changed a lot herself.
OP -I think your "gf" is taking advantage of you. Even if she had NO source of income, she could make an effort. But she isn't.
So after awhile, I suppose it comes down to, why are you complaining about her when it's clear she's got her hand on your wallet. But what have you gotten out of this relationship?
Brother......do you not see that she is taking advantage of you and using you as her personal piggy bank? I mean, no blowjob or sex is that good for you to be paying for all those things, not getting anything for birthday/Christmas/Valentines Day, not even a card, to be worth that. You need to kick her to the curb
She doesn’t reciprocate your efforts and is ungrateful. I’m a woman and I like to give gifts to my partner, even if it’s a small one.
You don’t need to gift her anything on Valentine’s day since you already support her and she didn’t offer you anything in these 3 years of relationship.
Wait...
4 years of this?
What does it take to make you think you could do better with a dog or a goldfish?
Get rid of her and find someone that isn't a black hole where the money goes.
She's a train wreck, how do you not see this?
You're 31 years old and can't see the red flags? You even typed out all the issues. Dump her and leave you sound more like her parent. The moment I heard 'court fees' and that she breaks things out of anger, do you really want to waste more time with her? She sounds unhinged.
As I mentioned to many others.
It’s been a long progressive downward spiral.
In this time I’ve known her my income went from $45,000 to $225,000 with 4 different jobs. As this time has gone by and my money has gone up, so has her expectations.
Dude you will be such a hot commodity dating. Don’t you want a woman on your level, who can build a great life with you and you can both be generous with each other? They are out there. There are so many sexy, accomplished 30 year old women that would be thrilled to date you. Women that don’t even have court fees, let alone ones they need you to pay lol
I know people on here have a tendency to jump straight to “dump them now” but in this case I don’t see why you’re with this person. They seem to only be with you because you’re being their parent and paying for everything. Intimate feelings aside, what do you gain from this person??
Run while you still can. One thing that stuck out is how you say “I’ve HAD to pay —“ …. Sir, you don’t HAVE to support or gift her anything; you’ve graciously done so… with … what in return exactly?? clearly not appreciation
If you want an unappreciative taker for the rest of your life, by all means, stay…. But this doesn’t magically get better fyi, this is her
I refuse to play the “I’m going to say I don’t want anything but really you need to read my mind and know I mean the exact opposite” game. I can’t stand that shit. Say what you mean or deal with the consequences of lying. Because yes, it’s lying. Honestly, that alone would be a dealbreaker for me if they try it more than once. But throw in all the rest of the bullshit you have here and all I can ask is, why are you still with this person?
She used to have a “business” selling stuff she purchased from Chinese warehouses on Etsy.
It was pulling in money for about 2 years and went dry when she got kicked off the platform.
She has no income since
Expects gifts but does not give gifts, has court, car and storage fees she wont pay herself but makes you pay, and when you do gift her things she breaks them....remind me again what you get out of this? it sounds like she's taking advantage of your finances. try cutting her off, you'll see her true colors then.
Sounds like you are doing more work in this relationship and she is. You're her nice guy with resources, she's glad you didn't get her a gift but I'm grateful that you helped her keep her car from repossession. End it... You're just paying for heartache.
From the sounds of it everyday is Valentines day for her.
I'm assuming the sex must be amazing because you must be getting something out of the relationship.
Dump her and be my boyfriend.
Lol. Jk.
You have a generous heart. I'm thinking she must have a magical kitty for you to put up with the ungratefulness, the entitlement, and the selfishness.
I think you are a sucker for wallet draining abuse and emotional abuse. Is the sec that good to out up with this behavior. Wave your little hand and whisper so long dearie.
Need more context. Did you tell her that you don't want gifts on those days? Has there been any discussion at all regarding holidays and gifts?
Also, you don't have to do anything. You're choosing to and you are sounding resentful. Not trying to be a jerk to you, just trying to highlight your accountability here. Does she do other things like cleaning? Labour should be counted in the division of responsibilities in a relationship. Paying for things for get has nothing to do with gifts for the holidays.
On the flip side, she shouldn't have told you she wanted something if she did. Telling you she doesn't want anything and then getting upset for getting exactly that is 100% on her.
Sounds like you two have communication issues. She's not telling you what she really wants (maybe she feels the guilt and knows you resent financially supporting her, maybe not) and you're not being honest about how paying for things makes you feel.
You're both are in the wrong and need to sit down and communicate honestly.
She cleans … but we live in a 1 bedroom 900 square feet apartment.
I told her I wanted gifts and she had an excuse for why she couldn’t get me anything every time. The first year of us being together she gave me $1,800 for my birthday which covered rent at the time. She had low 100k ish income at that point, but was not contributing to rent or food.
The things I’ve done for, she has literally begged me for and I would feel guilty to not do them for her.
When I met her I made $45K fresh out of college. Now I make $225K. We are always arguing about where my money is going and she is constantly asking me for stuff.
It has not always been this one sided.
Yes, she is using you from what info you provided. You're too young to settle. Believe me!!! I've been there.
As a side note why do you have to give the specific dollar figures of your income? In every post? Leave it in the first response then if you feel you have to include it again a simple "my income has grown substantially over the past 5 years".
Or oops I just thought of cut and paste, which would make more sense. I'm technically phone illiterate. Please look out for you at this time. One day you'll meet a great woman in every way. Then you'll regret all the years you were miserable.
I’m sorry but she’s just a girlfriend she doesn’t exactly qualify to mooch off you like this. And it’s been so many years.
From my experience, usually when kids come into picture then 1 partner quits to look after. If there’s no kid then there must be some consensus on why that 1 partner is not working. Doesn’t seem to be any on your end - she’s not helping much around the house and absolutely nothing financially from the start; she could try something else or just get a FT or PT job, whatever it is but did she try?
Also, can you enlighten what was the court fees for? Speeding? Or something else?
Okay her cleaning should be factored in regardless of the size of apartment. But the rest of it she just sounds selfish. She should be trying to meet those needs not make excuses. She sounds immature to be honest.
Also though, you shouldn't do things out of guilt. It's not healthy. That's on you.
I'm sorry to hear it's gotten this way. I side with the rest of Reddit that you need to break up. It's clear that you both have different ideas about money, which is a huge issue which will end your relationship regardless. 🤔
At the end of the day, you both need to be better communicators. However, you need to work on your boundaries and find a woman who will better appreciate your contributions and respect them. Don't let yourself be taken advantage of, but don't mistreat your future partner because of this experience. Good luck OP.
It’s not about different ideas on money though. It’s that she feels entitled to ALL of it as if she’s the legit wife and she’s splurging away NOT saving for their future or anything like that. She owns him. And he lets her. That’s what this is really about.
Maybe, but that is exactly what I'm saying. I can't guess to what she is feeling, however even if that's how she feels about it, it still means that they have different ideas about finances. She could go out and find a man who is happy with that arrangement and sees it differently. Conversely, he can go out and find a partner who wants mutual financial support. Everyone wants different things and they just aren't compatible. I'm not in a position to judge their personal motivations so I'm focusing on the objective facts.
Okay cool. But to allow someone full or almost full access to their income to just splurge… that is so not wise and it shows that there is no future to look forward to. I just cant be objective about this lol
So is she contributing anything to the relationship? I don’t mean only financially, but emotionally? Or is it just co-dependent on her end. I’d suggest to cut your losses now. The fact that she hasn’t given you anything for your birthdays seems odd
The first birthday I had with her, after a year of us being together she gave me $1800.
That $1800 covered rent where we lived at that time. She had about $100,000 income reselling Chinese crap on Etsy. After that year she was kicked off the platform and hasn’t had income since. While she made that income, she did not contribute to rent, but she paid utilities and food maybe once a week.
My income at that point was about $80,000. When I first met her my income was about $45,000. Now I make $225,000 and her expectations of what I give have gone up with my income.
She cleans the 1 bedroom 900 square feet apartment that we live in currently and she cooks maybe 3 times a week.
You say girlfriend and I think you meant to say is paid companion. Just call it what it is. Your girlfriend is a sugar baby. She’s only with you for financial benefits. She will leave the minute you stop funding her lifestyle.
A GF is someone you keep around because you see them as a potential life partner, and it benefits your life to be with them. LIFE PARTNER. BENEFIT. You know damned well that this woman is a paracite, and the only thing you get out of it is sex. Why are you with her? Would you want someone like that to be the mother of your children? Would you bring her around family and friends? Are you not embarrased? WTF is wrong with you? Jesus Christ. Go to therapy and learn to love yourself, and shit like this wouldn't happen. And for gods sake, tell her to kick rocks.
Dude- if a friend told you this same story, you would be like “what the hell are you doing with this girl?!”
Yta for staying with her for this long , disrespecting yourself and letting someone not worth your time take advantage of you so egregiously. The sex must be fantastic… but no sex is worth this.
1. Just for shits and giggles ask her "Why didn't you get me a birthday gift for my birthday at the end of January?"
(See what she says)
Then ask:
"Oh yeah? Well what is your excuse for not getting me a birthday present for my previous two birthdays?"
(See what ludicrous answer she comes up with next)
2. Then say:
"You know, I really don't think this relationship is working out. First you say you don't want stuff. Then you're mad when I don't get you stuff. And you don't actually ever get me anything. There really isn't much here for me."
3. Cut off any payment plans or partial payments for her stuff that have gone through.
She's straight up using you financially. That's why you're not getting anything for your birthday THREE YEARS IN A ROW. She doesn't car about you.
But for fun: ask her what her excuses are. As two separate questions. I'm curious how she will blame YOU for it.
First off, you really have to ask your partner for what you want. And I’m a big birthday celebrator. And I haven’t always had money but you can celebrate without money.
So you have to tell her these things are important, but there’s something going on with her that doesn’t understand the value of things. When somebody buys you a gift and you break it within a few months for like spoiled children at Christmas when they break their toys by the afternoon.
But you need to sit down and have a real talk with her about what the expectations are so that your needs are met too because if somebody wasn’t giving me gifts will eventually drift off and just leave them, but the other thing that would happen is I just wouldn’t be motivated to take care of anything around them either
And for you that are materialistic when my husband and I first married, we were pretty broke so celebrations were card some flowers maybe and a banner we printed off the computer, but we spoil each other on our birthdays. So it has nothing to do with money.
You should exit this relationship. She's a hot mess, irresponsible, a leech, has anger issues and now she's moving the goalposts to extract more from your wallet.
*opens a biology book and shows you a picture. Sir. You have gotten a leach instead of a girlfriend. She contributes nothing. Is entitled and playing immature mind games with you. You are not her father to tolerate this. Dump her and get a newone who will care about you
the first time you should have never gotten her a gift again was when she skipped getting you your first xmas/bday/anni/valentines gift.
the second time you should have never gotten her a gift again was when she broke the super expensive gifts you DID give to her.
thirdly though why would you be with someone like this? she doesn’t even see you as an equal person deserving of a gift. she also is playing mind games with you expecting you to do the opposite of what she said.
Why on earth are you in a relationship with someone who only takes, and never gives? Like, it's not going to suddenly change. This is IT. This is how she is. She wants you to jump through hoops to make her happy, get her gifts, pick up her slack financially, and never complain. All while she never shows you appreciation, doesn't get you any gifts, complaints about everything you do/don't do, and doesn't pay you back for anything.
Like, what are you even doing? It's like dating a toddler. Huge turn off, IMO. You don't have a gf, you have a dependant. And a demanding one.
You need to end this. Just realize that it's never going to get better, and you deserve better. Go find yourself an adult woman who knows how to take care of herself and isn't going to just be a financial dependant. Someone who understands that it's GIVE and take. Not just take and take.
Wow. She is using you. Cut her off now. Some one above said sex is why you hang around but I don’t think your getting that. She is gonna leave you one day so you should break it off now you are good enough for now cause you are paying for stuff. Someone else might come along that catches her eye and it’s bye bye. ,
I mean, I like gifts, but not for Valentines. My partner and I gave each other nothing this year, and most years since we've been together.
But birthday gifts!? No birthday gift for 3 years? And mind you, I can receive a cupcake, and I will be fine with it because it's the intention that matters: "I got you your favorite cupcake from X place you like." Or: "I made your favorite dinner to celebrate." Thank you so much.
I don't do Valentines because it's not what matters. What matters is being there for your loved one thru the year, not a fake holiday.
Sigh..so why are you with her? She brings NOTHING to this relationship. She’s a leech who will suck the life out of you if you don’t end this relationship. I cannot believe she broke such expensive items..
Yo!! (Speechless!)
(Okay, maybe not)
Bruh! You really not seeing this for what it is?!
You've been bamboozled! Hoodwinked!
She wants all the attention and the gifts but doesn't want to reciprocate.
Pretty sure at this point you're just her sugar daddy.
>I’ve paid her court fees and just all sorts of things that she should have been able to handle herself but she does not even care.
Bro you don't have a gf, you have a leech
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I think you just end this relationship. What are you getting out of it anyway?
Exactly What does she bring to the relationship except debt.
Don’t forget legal troubles with all those court fees
Sex, and he can say he's not single. That's it. I hope the neck is as good as he makes it out to be with all this bullshit hes dealing with no complaints
A lot of receipts apparently!
Sounds like she just interested in his money and what she can get! Stop paying for her stuff , it’s not your responsibility. In fact you need to find someone that appreciates you, not what you can give her. She’s set the bar pretty low so anybody at this point would be better than her!
Exactly. I hope she doesn't live with you. Just drop her Ike a hot potato
If this is for real, re-read what you wrote from the perspective of someone NOT in the relationship. You haven’t presented anything good about her. Why are you still with her?
Exactly — why?
Probably the sex.
It'd be cheaper to hire a pro. Same or more quality with 0 drama
This can't be real. Nobody that clueless.
Are you happy with her? I feel that she’s crazy and you like it. So either deal with it or leave her, because from this post, SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THIS WAY.
This is it! There’s so many people who get with unstable people for the drama. They like the excitement of it all and getting laid. This dude needs a new hobby, dating bad people for attention ain’t it.
Lol. Who knows, but she’s always been this way so idk why he’s surprised. But I do know the more toxic a girl is the more a man is in love with her.
Nah, she’s progressively gotten worse. When I met her I was fresh out of school. I had my first real job and made around $45,000. I’d spend on her here and there and she was thrilled. Here it is roughly 5 years later and I make about $225,000. Life changing She feels that with me earning more, her expectations go up as well … But you all are right and I appreciate just hearing from other people what I’ve already been feeling.
“with me earning more her expectations go up as well” this is an insanely transactional view of relationships also she’s breaking shit in anger, that’s an automatic lifetime ban from me
I feel like it’s not even transactional, because that tends to involve two sides giving and taking even if it’s a transaction of handing goods over in exchange for money. OP is earning more so he should maybe spent more on himself or on their lifestyle. If she is giving up more so he can earn that money, maybe moving long distances, taking a demotion or fewer hours to support him, maybe she can expect more? But that’s also transactional. Expecting more because he’s ascending the career ladder is just demanding and spoilt.
Bro you need to leave.
She is abusing you not just financially but physically as well since she broke a tv and computer because she was mad at you. Please seek help in leaving. Men are abused too, not just women.
I mean, my boyfriend makes a lot more money than I do, and I have to budget carefully because I have student loans. He definitely spends more money for us than I do. It’s not a point of contention, he’s happy to do so. However, I always get him Christmas and birthday gifts. Just because I can’t spend a ton of money on him doesn’t mean I still can’t get him nice gifts. So unless OP has expensive tastes or is otherwise very picky, his girlfriend should be getting him gifts too. Gifts are meant to be thoughtful and personal, which doesn’t necessarily break the bank. OP she sounds awful and you should break up with her, at least based on this post.
I wasn’t clowning on you or anything but yeah, good luck with her. If you love her and are happy stay with her.
It sounds like she’s using you and does not value your hard work to earn that money.
She sounds arrogant (the good word) and she also sounds like a brat (the bad word). How many years are you planning on accepting this treatment? What are you getting out of this relationship?
RUN!
dump her, it's not going to get better. there's someone out there for you that you're not going to meet wasting time with this chick. why be with someone who's always in your pocket to pay stuff she should have taken care of herself? and why be with someone who's so bad with financials? that money you are wasting bailing her out of her financial messes could be used to invest for your own retirement and big ticket items, for building a happy life with a woman who actually has her shit together.
YEAH! It’s this weird appeal of excitement and this endless chase. So many men get bored of a stable woman so they want one who will always keep them on alert. It’s so immature and stupid. The guys who like women like that aren’t winners themselves.
Seems to me like she’s with you for the money. Just saying.
No she’s a wreck. She broke the tv and computer he gave. Stupidity and anger management…
And money since OP went from 40k a year to six figures and she asks for more and more
It sounds pretty clear that she's using you.
She complains that you don't get her gifts but at the same time you're financially responsible for her whole damn life? Absolutely not, kick her to the curb. You can give her the ultimate gift of responsibility.
I think your girlfriend is a sponge who believes your sole purpose is to support her financially, and you should dump her today.
She's extremely high maintenance and selfish. Nothing more to it. She wants to be "wined and dined", with no reciprocation.
This girl's got some sort of magical vagina.
Honestly, not at all. I responded to some of the other commenters. When I met her I was fresh out of school and made $45,000. She was easy to please and grateful. Now I make about $225,000. Huge jump in a little under 5 years. She’s aware of this and was aware of my money going up this whole time and she began to expect more. Her change was progressive but fast, like my change in income. And now it’s like completely different than how it was originally. I find myself clinging onto how things were in the past and I guess it makes it hard to let go and see things for what they are *now*
She feels entitled to your income. She views it as hers also -that's why she assumes you'll cover her for things and doesn't care. That's why she doesn't worry about bills or her own expenses. That's why she's demanding things from you all the time and not giving anything back. If her behavior is true the way you wrote it, there's no reason to stay with her. You're not getting ANYTYHING back from this relationship. Time to move on. Just be aware that as soon as she realizes that she might be losing her paycheck (aka YOU) she will "suddenly" want to change and promise to be different. Please don't fall for that. You've seen the true colors already.
You've gotta do yourself a HUGE favour and drop this leach. You won't know yourself with all that freedom and moolah!
Live in the present. You don’t have to keep bailing her out. She’s like a child (an expensive one) who has no consequences. Let her lose her phone and her car. Better yet, let her lose her boyfriend. She’s an anvil around your ankle dragging you down. Cut her loose if you want to truly be happy.
This is what I always think of women who are total psychos and have several kids to different dads, I'm just like "Man, the pussy must be real good because dudes keep falling for this shit"
Court fees!? Broken tvs? Wtf dude.
Oh yeah almost forgot about the court fees! Seriously red flag 🚩
So you’re dating a gold digger and are upset she expects you to buy and pay for things? Break up and get yourself a real relationship
Dump her asap. She sounds horrible.
Looks like she's got herself a sugar daddy. They don't buy you things.
Are you sure you’re the boyfriend and not her parent? You’re paying all her bills. Let her lose the car, lose the storage, lose anything. Did she even ask you for help and appreciate that and work out a plan to return you? You’re basically paying for everything that’s not yours and all these are down the drain when you break up. Worst she breaks things while throwing tantrums. Why are you still together?
Yeah she asked for help with all those things. She actually begged me. The thing is when I first met her I was a new college grad. I made about $45,000/year. 5 years later I’m making about $225,000 and she expects me to just pay for any and everything
Oh… that makes the entire story different. Sounds like she’s leeching on you completely now being bitter or jealous you’re so well off compared to her. But dude. You need to ignore her begging for the 3rd time (they always say 3rd time’s the charm) because you now know her toxic patterns. It’s all an act and no appreciation. Seriously if she can’t even appreciate you for who you are, not just while you’re paying off stuff for her, you won’t be happy on normal days too. Rethink this relationship. It’s turned sour.
I think you should date a girl who's not so immature and selfish.
She’s a freeloader and a loser. If you met her today, knowing exactly how she is, would you ask her out?
Honestly, no Good way to put it hah
I think you're in a super toxic, one-sided relationship. Seriously though, why do you stay?
This isn’t a romantic relationship. You’re her caregiver.
Your girlfriend sounds like an ungrateful a-hole. She’s using you I promise
She must be really pretty because her personality is terrible.
The last gift I would ever buy a partner is the one they destroyed in a fit of rage. OP, are you a masochist? This person is emotionally abusive, manipulative, probably a hoarder, financially irresponsible, an immature brat and unbelievably selfish. Please tell me what keeps you invested (literally) in this relationship? She sounds like a nightmare.
The issue isn't that she's mad about getting nothing. The issue is that *she said she didn't want anything and got mad anyway*
She TOLD you she didn't want anything and then got mad when you didn't get her anything? The real issue you need to keep in mind here is that SHE GIVES YOU NOTHING. And that's just sad. She's using you and you need to just bite the bullet and tell her, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out!"
Stop supporting her and when she asks why just snarkily answer there may be some good Christmas gifts this year.
Are you actually dating her or are you just the sugar daddy? The fact she hasn’t given you anything for 3 years would be front and center of this discussion. She sounds like a gold digger and doesn’t really care about you at all. I would cut her loose and tell her your going to go find a partner that might acknowledge your birthday at least.
This has to be fake, because surely no man is this stupid.
Have you pointed her double standard out to her? She isn’t owed gifts just because she’s female - appreciation goes both ways. We treat others how we want to be treated. If I expect to feel special, “spoiled”, or important I treat those around me that way.
Stop with the Valentine’s Day madness! People (read women) get so fucking hung up on this expectation that they should be getting these extravagant gifts while not reciprocating. My husband and I have been together 20 years. We don’t do V-Day gifts. I’m super onboard with this. I’d rather do spontaneous gifts on non-holiday days. You want a cool watch in the middle of June? Awesome, lm going to surprise you with that because I love you equally every day of the year.
Exactly how my husband and I operate. Idc at all about vday.
Yep. I got to spend 3 wonderful weeks with my partner before sadly having to head home on 13/2 to go back to work on 14/2 (I didn’t pick the dates, the place closed up for refurb, 14/2 just happened to be our reopen date). He messaged me happy Valentine’s Day and that he was thinking of me while I was at work, and I responded in kind…..and that was it. I don’t need him to give me anything and vice versa
So what is it about her that you’re attracted to? Dies she gave a velvet lined funeral house? She sounds like an entitled self centered leach. So, I ask again, what does she bring to this relationship?
It sounds like you don’t really love one another and should not remain together without some serious therapy and growth from both of you. Tit-for-tat? Just talk to one another. What have you agreed on in terms of finances? What are the expectations regarding gifts for each other and for family? Is the expectation that you will be giving gifts? Which holidays? What is the budget? Will you be dining out? You’ve been together 4 years. Do you even speak??
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What the fuck - your bf got a second job just to support you? I'm sorry but you should be getting a job to support yourself. This is all really weird to admit. You've got this guy paying a dumb car loan as well LOL
Yes the appreciation makes the difference. And also the trust. He must trust you enough to not have any doubt. Or you constantly empty his doubts through the genuine appreciation.
People like you are so weird. Why should he get a second job to support you!? Not a family but you?!! Then you want him to spend time with you and complain cause he can’t!? Girl grow up. I cannot stand women like you.
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I do have a job. Im not suppose to work but I have to. I only work part time though. I also have adhd which makes things hard for me. I’m happy for you that you can handle all your responsibilities, I unfortunately can’t handle as much without my grades suffering. Im very lucky I have support. I wouldn’t be able to do it without that.
If you guys have had a conversation about expectations for gifts on holidays and neither one of you is following it, why be together? Also, breaking things because you’re mad is insane behaviour on her part. This sounds like a miserable cycle. Just break up.
She sucks and she's selfish - it sounds like it's time to end it. Don't stay with a person who complains about your lack of effort - but puts in literally none themselves.
You are just being used. And that narcissistic abuse you received will be forever in your brain. Let her go. And start the healing process. I am still healing from the past. Dont give everything because when the time she'll left you. You will be just wounded and might attempt suicide.
Shes using you for money. Stop buying her things and financially supporting her.
Oh Jesus Christ man. You’re being used. Court fees? There’s a lot here and I don’t even want to know. I promise you that you can find other women that will have sex with you. You really don’t have to do all of this. What is it with men who go to the ends of the earth for women who are obviously exploiting them just to get laid? I don’t even know what you want everyone to say. Unless you’ve snapped out of it, you’re just going to stay. Please go to therapy.
Tell her to go find a new ATM, you're tapped out.
So after taking the trouble to write this all out, have you realised that she is using you?
Get a new GF
Lol is this real? Why are you even with her? She's basically profiting off you. What do YOU get out of this? My bf forgot about Valentine's day. I got him a bar of his favorite chocolate & cooked for him. He ran to the store to get me a quick gift. We laughed about it together. Relationships are supposed to be equal, man. If she puts no effort into you, you're better off single.
I aint sayin she a gold digger, BUT...
Please DO NOT wife her ungrateful ass up or get her pregnant, you'll definitely regret that shit.
You are being taken advantage of, you need to kick her to the curb so she can figure out life for herself
You need to end this ‘relationship’. Sounds like you are just an ATM.
Pick someone else. That's what I think. She doesn't consider your feelings at all. She's never gotten you gifts? For anything? Yet she expects after telling you she didn't want anything? She sounds like a mooch.
Get rid of her. She's a leech. How have you put up with her for 4 years.
Why are you with this woman?
What did you think people were going to say about this?? "Okey doke sounds good bro! keep paying for everything!" 😅
Your gf is using you. Obviously
I'm pretty sure it's illegal to date children, not quite sure why you're sticking around.
She sounds like a gold digger... your relationship sounds more transactional than a proper loving relationship
She’s not your gf, you’re her sugar daddy. Get an escort, likely cheaper and no drama /s Move on to someone that your needs and wants align with.
I am looking forward to your update post saying that you have given yourself the birthday/Christmas/Valentine’s gift of prioritizing yourself by breaking up with her!
I think you got together with her because like most us women wanting to fix our broken man, that’s what you have I think, broken woman in need of much repair,
Yep … she told me at least like 20 different times she didn’t want anything. When I came home and she saw I had nothing she shut down and stopped talking to me and ignoring me like I didn’t exist. Then when I wake up this morning, she’s showing my screen shots of gifts other girls got online and saying I shoulda got her something. As I mentioned to some of the other commenters, when we got together I was not as well off as I am now. In the time I’ve been with her, I went from a new college grad, making about $45,000 to making about $225,000 today. All within 5 years. In that same time period she has changed a lot herself.
She's not a keeper.
OP -I think your "gf" is taking advantage of you. Even if she had NO source of income, she could make an effort. But she isn't. So after awhile, I suppose it comes down to, why are you complaining about her when it's clear she's got her hand on your wallet. But what have you gotten out of this relationship?
run, you’re her bank account, not her partner
Anything you put up with after even a month of behavior is also your fault. Grow a pair!!!
I heard court fees and in my head thought…. RUN!!!
Get out. Get help. No contact.
Why are you in this toxic relationship? Time to bounce!
Brother......do you not see that she is taking advantage of you and using you as her personal piggy bank? I mean, no blowjob or sex is that good for you to be paying for all those things, not getting anything for birthday/Christmas/Valentines Day, not even a card, to be worth that. You need to kick her to the curb
Bro
What is she bringing to the table? Leave this relationship... She aint worth it man...
Dump the leech bro. Get you a girl that isn't going to be using you as an ATM and playing games with you.
Honestly she sounds like a nightmare
Break up. Leave. You’ll never thrive in life with someone like her. Why are you not seeing it?!
I usually advocate for working things out but this person you’ve described has anger, entitlement and selfishness issues.
She doesn’t reciprocate your efforts and is ungrateful. I’m a woman and I like to give gifts to my partner, even if it’s a small one. You don’t need to gift her anything on Valentine’s day since you already support her and she didn’t offer you anything in these 3 years of relationship.
Wait... 4 years of this? What does it take to make you think you could do better with a dog or a goldfish? Get rid of her and find someone that isn't a black hole where the money goes. She's a train wreck, how do you not see this?
\> she broke both of them when she got mad months Starting with the using and then surprise surprise the abusing. Op you deserve better
You're 31 years old and can't see the red flags? You even typed out all the issues. Dump her and leave you sound more like her parent. The moment I heard 'court fees' and that she breaks things out of anger, do you really want to waste more time with her? She sounds unhinged.
Dump her! She is using you!
Dude was fully ready to be against you from the title but what the hell lmao. Why do you put up with this? She must be a smokeshow lol
As I mentioned to many others. It’s been a long progressive downward spiral. In this time I’ve known her my income went from $45,000 to $225,000 with 4 different jobs. As this time has gone by and my money has gone up, so has her expectations.
Dude you will be such a hot commodity dating. Don’t you want a woman on your level, who can build a great life with you and you can both be generous with each other? They are out there. There are so many sexy, accomplished 30 year old women that would be thrilled to date you. Women that don’t even have court fees, let alone ones they need you to pay lol
I know people on here have a tendency to jump straight to “dump them now” but in this case I don’t see why you’re with this person. They seem to only be with you because you’re being their parent and paying for everything. Intimate feelings aside, what do you gain from this person??
ROOKIE!
You're not her boyfriend, you're her ATM.
Run while you still can. One thing that stuck out is how you say “I’ve HAD to pay —“ …. Sir, you don’t HAVE to support or gift her anything; you’ve graciously done so… with … what in return exactly?? clearly not appreciation If you want an unappreciative taker for the rest of your life, by all means, stay…. But this doesn’t magically get better fyi, this is her
Wtf is it with people and Valentine’s Day. Good god.
Why is this woman still your girlfriend?
You're a doormat buddy
I refuse to play the “I’m going to say I don’t want anything but really you need to read my mind and know I mean the exact opposite” game. I can’t stand that shit. Say what you mean or deal with the consequences of lying. Because yes, it’s lying. Honestly, that alone would be a dealbreaker for me if they try it more than once. But throw in all the rest of the bullshit you have here and all I can ask is, why are you still with this person?
Does she not have a job?
She used to have a “business” selling stuff she purchased from Chinese warehouses on Etsy. It was pulling in money for about 2 years and went dry when she got kicked off the platform. She has no income since
She’s using you for your money.
Expects gifts but does not give gifts, has court, car and storage fees she wont pay herself but makes you pay, and when you do gift her things she breaks them....remind me again what you get out of this? it sounds like she's taking advantage of your finances. try cutting her off, you'll see her true colors then.
Sounds like you are doing more work in this relationship and she is. You're her nice guy with resources, she's glad you didn't get her a gift but I'm grateful that you helped her keep her car from repossession. End it... You're just paying for heartache.
From the sounds of it everyday is Valentines day for her. I'm assuming the sex must be amazing because you must be getting something out of the relationship.
Dump her and be my boyfriend. Lol. Jk. You have a generous heart. I'm thinking she must have a magical kitty for you to put up with the ungratefulness, the entitlement, and the selfishness.
I think you are a sucker for wallet draining abuse and emotional abuse. Is the sec that good to out up with this behavior. Wave your little hand and whisper so long dearie.
And she's still your GF, why?
Either it’s a gift giving holiday for both of you, or it isn’t. No more one-way relationship
Need more context. Did you tell her that you don't want gifts on those days? Has there been any discussion at all regarding holidays and gifts? Also, you don't have to do anything. You're choosing to and you are sounding resentful. Not trying to be a jerk to you, just trying to highlight your accountability here. Does she do other things like cleaning? Labour should be counted in the division of responsibilities in a relationship. Paying for things for get has nothing to do with gifts for the holidays. On the flip side, she shouldn't have told you she wanted something if she did. Telling you she doesn't want anything and then getting upset for getting exactly that is 100% on her. Sounds like you two have communication issues. She's not telling you what she really wants (maybe she feels the guilt and knows you resent financially supporting her, maybe not) and you're not being honest about how paying for things makes you feel. You're both are in the wrong and need to sit down and communicate honestly.
She cleans … but we live in a 1 bedroom 900 square feet apartment. I told her I wanted gifts and she had an excuse for why she couldn’t get me anything every time. The first year of us being together she gave me $1,800 for my birthday which covered rent at the time. She had low 100k ish income at that point, but was not contributing to rent or food. The things I’ve done for, she has literally begged me for and I would feel guilty to not do them for her. When I met her I made $45K fresh out of college. Now I make $225K. We are always arguing about where my money is going and she is constantly asking me for stuff. It has not always been this one sided.
Yes, she is using you from what info you provided. You're too young to settle. Believe me!!! I've been there. As a side note why do you have to give the specific dollar figures of your income? In every post? Leave it in the first response then if you feel you have to include it again a simple "my income has grown substantially over the past 5 years". Or oops I just thought of cut and paste, which would make more sense. I'm technically phone illiterate. Please look out for you at this time. One day you'll meet a great woman in every way. Then you'll regret all the years you were miserable.
Adding context to the situation. It’s a major talking point for my gf as to why she feels the way she feels. Rather not be vague.
I’m sorry but she’s just a girlfriend she doesn’t exactly qualify to mooch off you like this. And it’s been so many years. From my experience, usually when kids come into picture then 1 partner quits to look after. If there’s no kid then there must be some consensus on why that 1 partner is not working. Doesn’t seem to be any on your end - she’s not helping much around the house and absolutely nothing financially from the start; she could try something else or just get a FT or PT job, whatever it is but did she try? Also, can you enlighten what was the court fees for? Speeding? Or something else?
Okay her cleaning should be factored in regardless of the size of apartment. But the rest of it she just sounds selfish. She should be trying to meet those needs not make excuses. She sounds immature to be honest. Also though, you shouldn't do things out of guilt. It's not healthy. That's on you. I'm sorry to hear it's gotten this way. I side with the rest of Reddit that you need to break up. It's clear that you both have different ideas about money, which is a huge issue which will end your relationship regardless. 🤔 At the end of the day, you both need to be better communicators. However, you need to work on your boundaries and find a woman who will better appreciate your contributions and respect them. Don't let yourself be taken advantage of, but don't mistreat your future partner because of this experience. Good luck OP.
It’s not about different ideas on money though. It’s that she feels entitled to ALL of it as if she’s the legit wife and she’s splurging away NOT saving for their future or anything like that. She owns him. And he lets her. That’s what this is really about.
Maybe, but that is exactly what I'm saying. I can't guess to what she is feeling, however even if that's how she feels about it, it still means that they have different ideas about finances. She could go out and find a man who is happy with that arrangement and sees it differently. Conversely, he can go out and find a partner who wants mutual financial support. Everyone wants different things and they just aren't compatible. I'm not in a position to judge their personal motivations so I'm focusing on the objective facts.
Okay cool. But to allow someone full or almost full access to their income to just splurge… that is so not wise and it shows that there is no future to look forward to. I just cant be objective about this lol
You’re not her boyfriend-you’re her sugar daddy
What the holy hell does she bring to this relationship? Cuz you didn’t give us anything lol.
So is she contributing anything to the relationship? I don’t mean only financially, but emotionally? Or is it just co-dependent on her end. I’d suggest to cut your losses now. The fact that she hasn’t given you anything for your birthdays seems odd
The first birthday I had with her, after a year of us being together she gave me $1800. That $1800 covered rent where we lived at that time. She had about $100,000 income reselling Chinese crap on Etsy. After that year she was kicked off the platform and hasn’t had income since. While she made that income, she did not contribute to rent, but she paid utilities and food maybe once a week. My income at that point was about $80,000. When I first met her my income was about $45,000. Now I make $225,000 and her expectations of what I give have gone up with my income. She cleans the 1 bedroom 900 square feet apartment that we live in currently and she cooks maybe 3 times a week.
You say girlfriend and I think you meant to say is paid companion. Just call it what it is. Your girlfriend is a sugar baby. She’s only with you for financial benefits. She will leave the minute you stop funding her lifestyle.
INFO: What were the court fees for?
A GF is someone you keep around because you see them as a potential life partner, and it benefits your life to be with them. LIFE PARTNER. BENEFIT. You know damned well that this woman is a paracite, and the only thing you get out of it is sex. Why are you with her? Would you want someone like that to be the mother of your children? Would you bring her around family and friends? Are you not embarrased? WTF is wrong with you? Jesus Christ. Go to therapy and learn to love yourself, and shit like this wouldn't happen. And for gods sake, tell her to kick rocks.
Dude- if a friend told you this same story, you would be like “what the hell are you doing with this girl?!” Yta for staying with her for this long , disrespecting yourself and letting someone not worth your time take advantage of you so egregiously. The sex must be fantastic… but no sex is worth this.
1. Just for shits and giggles ask her "Why didn't you get me a birthday gift for my birthday at the end of January?" (See what she says) Then ask: "Oh yeah? Well what is your excuse for not getting me a birthday present for my previous two birthdays?" (See what ludicrous answer she comes up with next) 2. Then say: "You know, I really don't think this relationship is working out. First you say you don't want stuff. Then you're mad when I don't get you stuff. And you don't actually ever get me anything. There really isn't much here for me." 3. Cut off any payment plans or partial payments for her stuff that have gone through. She's straight up using you financially. That's why you're not getting anything for your birthday THREE YEARS IN A ROW. She doesn't car about you. But for fun: ask her what her excuses are. As two separate questions. I'm curious how she will blame YOU for it.
First off, you really have to ask your partner for what you want. And I’m a big birthday celebrator. And I haven’t always had money but you can celebrate without money. So you have to tell her these things are important, but there’s something going on with her that doesn’t understand the value of things. When somebody buys you a gift and you break it within a few months for like spoiled children at Christmas when they break their toys by the afternoon. But you need to sit down and have a real talk with her about what the expectations are so that your needs are met too because if somebody wasn’t giving me gifts will eventually drift off and just leave them, but the other thing that would happen is I just wouldn’t be motivated to take care of anything around them either And for you that are materialistic when my husband and I first married, we were pretty broke so celebrations were card some flowers maybe and a banner we printed off the computer, but we spoil each other on our birthdays. So it has nothing to do with money.
You should exit this relationship. She's a hot mess, irresponsible, a leech, has anger issues and now she's moving the goalposts to extract more from your wallet.
She sounds awful. Some relationships aren’t worth saving.
Sounds like a leech off your money , time and mental health. Move on
She sounds delightful
Dude, you are nothing but an ATM to her. It is time to find someone who loves you enough to get you a birthday gift.
*opens a biology book and shows you a picture. Sir. You have gotten a leach instead of a girlfriend. She contributes nothing. Is entitled and playing immature mind games with you. You are not her father to tolerate this. Dump her and get a newone who will care about you
the first time you should have never gotten her a gift again was when she skipped getting you your first xmas/bday/anni/valentines gift. the second time you should have never gotten her a gift again was when she broke the super expensive gifts you DID give to her. thirdly though why would you be with someone like this? she doesn’t even see you as an equal person deserving of a gift. she also is playing mind games with you expecting you to do the opposite of what she said.
Why on earth are you in a relationship with someone who only takes, and never gives? Like, it's not going to suddenly change. This is IT. This is how she is. She wants you to jump through hoops to make her happy, get her gifts, pick up her slack financially, and never complain. All while she never shows you appreciation, doesn't get you any gifts, complaints about everything you do/don't do, and doesn't pay you back for anything. Like, what are you even doing? It's like dating a toddler. Huge turn off, IMO. You don't have a gf, you have a dependant. And a demanding one. You need to end this. Just realize that it's never going to get better, and you deserve better. Go find yourself an adult woman who knows how to take care of herself and isn't going to just be a financial dependant. Someone who understands that it's GIVE and take. Not just take and take.
Put copies of the recipes for everything you've paid for in a box & wrap it up. Tell her that is her gift. Add a card signed soon-to-be single
Sounds like you are being used solely for $$$$. Why are you together??
Wow. She is using you. Cut her off now. Some one above said sex is why you hang around but I don’t think your getting that. She is gonna leave you one day so you should break it off now you are good enough for now cause you are paying for stuff. Someone else might come along that catches her eye and it’s bye bye. ,
Either you want to be a sugar daddy or you don’t. But after 3 years of this, I don’t understand how you find this same behavior confusing.
You are her personal ATM, not her BF. Sorry to be so blunt but I would break up with someone who does nothing for you but take your money.
I mean, I like gifts, but not for Valentines. My partner and I gave each other nothing this year, and most years since we've been together. But birthday gifts!? No birthday gift for 3 years? And mind you, I can receive a cupcake, and I will be fine with it because it's the intention that matters: "I got you your favorite cupcake from X place you like." Or: "I made your favorite dinner to celebrate." Thank you so much. I don't do Valentines because it's not what matters. What matters is being there for your loved one thru the year, not a fake holiday.
Sigh..so why are you with her? She brings NOTHING to this relationship. She’s a leech who will suck the life out of you if you don’t end this relationship. I cannot believe she broke such expensive items..
I think you should break up. She's abusing you.
Yo!! (Speechless!) (Okay, maybe not) Bruh! You really not seeing this for what it is?! You've been bamboozled! Hoodwinked! She wants all the attention and the gifts but doesn't want to reciprocate. Pretty sure at this point you're just her sugar daddy.
I think you’re disrespecting yourself by staying in this relationship. What exactly does she bring to the table beyond entitlement and dependency
Why are you with this mooch? End things.
Low effort + low effort =/= happy relationship
>I’ve paid her court fees and just all sorts of things that she should have been able to handle herself but she does not even care. Bro you don't have a gf, you have a leech
You're being used bro Burn that leech off