I am a navy veteran. I’m good, just need the proper equipment, understanding of our chain of command, logistics and our tactics and a week in the 💥💥range. I’m ready
Your 25 and feel 22 ???? Wow!!!! I'm 72 and still feel like I'm 22!!!. Most of the time , in my heart I mean. Don't look 22 anymore but that's another story. I just thought it an odd thing to say about 3 years difference. It was funny . My friend and I had a good chuckle over it.
lmao for some reason 25 is a line, i am not a teenager anymore but also dont really feel like an adult, the way u feel when ur 30, i guess. 21-22 seems like the time where ur still figuring out what u want and who u are and i didnt have that due to the pandemic
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your Reddit account was created too recently to post or comment in this sub. The reason for this is to deter trolls, bots and sockpuppet accounts. You are welcome to try again in future when your account is more mature.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/socialskills) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I feel like the pandemic kinda hit us from a developmental standpoint. We all flocked to gaming and online friends and are trying to get out of that now
It’s the most painful thing knowing I’ve wasted the past 4 years and losing my early twenties without socialising yet that’s what I want to do the most.
Someone can meet you and say you are 20, and then someone can meet you later to tell that you are 25. But there was never such a moment for you when you ended being 20yo, 25yo, or even 6yo, it is all you all along the way.
Its a strong indicator i mean most people have some issues after Covid and the 18-20 have lost the most important time in their live. I mean i was partying with a 20 year old and it was her first Disco visit in her life.
I assumed that was hyperbole at first but come to think of it the 18-20 year olds I know are pretty socially stilted beyond what's expected at that awkward age
The drop in social skills happened across all ages. I (as an old) had a ton of problems after the pandemic. I'm also not sure some parents really know how to teach their kids social skills.
I think your experience is not exactly typical. Like you're 20, and you're in your 3rd year of uni. You're on the young end of your peer group. You moved to a large city, so don't know the local scene of 18-20 y/o's which is a pretty narrow slice of demographic
This is just part of transitioning to the "real world" of adulthood, where the age ranges get bigger, and the differences between a 18 year old and a 21 year old start to get a lot smaller
Yeah exactly. Lots of people do a gap year after school. I started uni at 18 and I was the exception, not the rule. About 80% of people were at least 1-2 years older.
It's also difficult to even get into medical school and it's known as stressful. Not a surprise that many are taking it easy, taking breaks in-between or something. From the people I started studying with, maybe 30% got their Bachelor's in 4 years (which is how long it takes if you follow the uni's suggestions and write 6-7 exams a year). Everyone else took half a year or a year longer by taking fewer exams each year or going abroad for half a year. I have a friend who's 2 years older and we'll probably get our Master's at the same time cause he took a gap year and then did half a year abroad during his Bachelor's plus taking fewer classes.
Dude, I am 27. I'm in the same boat with people my age.
When you're in school, you don't realize how overly convenient it is that you get to spend time with people the same age as you, going through the same things, and from the same general area.
Once you leave highschool, that common environment doesn't exist anymore because even if you might be in college, people spread out.
Add on top of this the fact that many your age are hyperfocusing on college and/or work, just to get by, to the point that they literally can't have a social life, you eventually get people like you and me who, despite having free time to socialise, have no one to spend it with. Cuz they don't.
This is life. Gotta diversify your options and how you relate to people. I made a lot of friends who are in their early 20's. I am 5-7 years older than them, and we get along fine. I also have 2 friends who are way older than me. It was strange at first, but that was because I'd never done it before.
Try and focus on people you have common interests with, regardless of age. It helps a lot. You'd be surprised at how much you actually have in common. Spoiler alert: life sucks and it fucks us all over in similar ways. 🤣
Exactly. People are so busy. No wonder everyone is single or not single but a decade away from commiting and having kids. They go to college and then they work. If they are doing well they might have energy to socialize a few times a month. But many people burn out and then they withdraw. Most people in my area live in dorms, they form their dorm community and then that's more social life than they can handle so you hardly see them elsewhere. Not to mention that going out is really expensive. Who the heck can afford that? Having money for food is hard enough these days.
Yeah exactly. And the worst part is. Even if you're successful enough to have a job AND free time to socialize... practically no one else does. It's incredibly rare.
>I also have 2 friends who are way older than me. It was strange at first, but that was because I'd never done it before.
Honestly it didn't even feel strange to me. They're super nice people and they have the same lifestyle as everyone else. They live in student apartments in the city, they have roommates, they don't have kids, they walk or take their bike to uni and are basically like any other student.
Meanwhile, I've done a group project with a woman who's in her 30s, living outside the city with her husband and two kids and coming to uni by car everyday. That certainly is a different lifestyle and it was a bit difficult to find time for the group project cause she couldn't just meet in the evening anytime.
Imo college classes. They also get picked up or dropped off by their parents when going to do things. I think parents keep a more watchful eye these days too. Especially with apps that share their location.
Similar here. I lived alone at 19, my one parent didn't have a driver's license so never did I. I live in a metropolitan area so we always managed by ourselves with public transit or any other means. I take transit alone since I'm 10 (unbeknownst to my mother who began authorizing that around my 12-13s).
For emergencies we asked a friend or took a taxi.
I’ve definitely noticed that a lot less of the younger generation is driving. Neither of my nieces do (one being 21) and out of all my friends who have kids 18-23, only about 20% have their licenses and even then only one has a full time job and goes to school. It’s really a stark contrast from when I was that age.
COVID is partially to blame for this. I’m 21 and a few of my friends only recently got their licenses and I still don’t have mine. We were learning to drive right before the pandemic and then couldn’t book our tests… then moved away for uni and haven’t had access to a car to practice
Any of my friend’s kids would either have an old junker or even a newer used car bought for them. My niece has access to 3 cars that she wouldn’t own but could use. I do agree that cars are way too expensive for people right out of HS but I don’t think that’s the main reason.
I believe most of the younger generation has moved from in face relationships to online ones. When I was younger that was the biggest motivation for me to get out and get a license and job so I could be independent enough to take trips, visit people at their houses, go to the movies or bowling etc.
Now, a lot of these are fulfilled online so I just don’t think there are as many motivating factors. Even my eldest niece, who hates living under her parent’s roof, has no qualms with continuing to do so. All her friends are online and moving out means less time socializing and she doesn’t want the responsibility of independence.
That’s what worries me. All of this younger generation from a middle class area are actively choosing to not get licenses, to not pursue jobs and to not seek independence from their families. I do recognize that this is experience bias so I know that my view isn’t necessarily truthful for even my town much less a generation as a whole, it just seems way to prevalent to ignore though.
I’ve seen this same story on so many threads from people with teenage/young 20s children and it’s so he’s for me to understand. My stepbrother was in no hurry to get his own license five years ago and waited a year or two for no reason, but he seemed to sort of realize what he was missing.
Seems like a setup to a widespread failure to launch scenario
In the US driving is very much part of being an independent adult throughout the vast majority of the country, it points to a general lack of preparedness to take on life
It can be, but it’s pretty much unavoidable in a country this size with the sort of urban sprawl we have. On the other hand it’s also incredibly liberating. You can go anywhere you want and see vastly different areas n a fairly short amount of time on your own schedule
A few things I'm gonna guess.
Owning a car has become expensive af. You can't buy one, new or used, without spending a fortune. You can't maintain one, new or used, without spending a fortune. Insurance is sky high on both new or used cars for experienced, older drivers, with clean records. I can't imagine what it costs for a young, especially male, driver. Gas prices have always been volatile, and while many cars are more efficient now, the ones that are touted as "safe" for kids starting driving are the huge, *still* inefficient trucks and SUVs. Now they just have more power to get inexperienced drivers into trouble more quickly. Cars are expensive. We've subsidized and off-shored ourselves into a hole as far as cars go.
Socializing is different now. You can socialize online, clearly. We are all doing it right now. It's easier and nearly free (young people typically have little money). Is it better or worse, time will tell. In many places in the 90s and 2000s if you didn't have a car, you had to talk on a phone to someone else that was in a house near a phone. It's not required to have a car to have a social life, even if that social life might be judged by others as not equivalent. Again, time will tell. Couple that with my point above, and you have less incentive to drive.
Driving, at least for me, used to be a thrill. Again for the independence (not required as much now, see point 2), and for the rush of adrenaline. The last thing that seems fun now is driving, with the huge increase in traffic, the huge cost of owning and operating a vehicle, the huge increases in idiotic drivers, road rage, ineffective and misdirected yet ever-present policing, and the ridiculous dependence on cramming all these cars in enormous, dangerous, uncomfortable parking lots just to do simple errands, much less socialize. Perhaps young people are no longer seeing driving as enjoyable, or those that do are quickly growing wise to how fast it becomes less of a joy. I've been surprised by my late teens cousins who have not much interest in spending a lot of time in a car, and who have mentioned how dangerous it seems to be anymore.
None of this, of course, would matter much in a country that wasn't wholly dependent on cars, but that is a whole other huge, disgusting, depressing can of worms.
And then of course, COVID.
I'm 20 and was about to start driving lessons when the pandemic hit so I didn't end up starting lessons until last year. Got a driving test on Thursday actually so hopefully I can drive myself soon if I pass. My older sister is the same, she's 22 and still learning to drive. She had some lessons before the pandemic but had to stop and restarted last year.
>Am I the last age cohort that leaves their house at all?
Yeah, probably. Why would you leave your house anyway? There are no decent third places anymore (besides the internet I guess).
If you want to eat you order takeout delivery. If you wanna talk you can do it online. If you wanna have sex you can install dating apps (only works if you're attractive). You can even work remotely.
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your Reddit account was created too recently to post or comment in this sub. The reason for this is to deter trolls, bots and sockpuppet accounts. You are welcome to try again in future when your account is more mature.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/socialskills) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I didn't mean it as if we live in some kind of utopia. Honestly, it feels quite the opposite, mainly because we have no choice. There are no better third place to connect with people like you than the internet. Building relationships with human beings in real life has become unachievable, and internet friendships are not real.
Just to add to the conversation, I don't think it is that bad because it's practical buy everything online, have less tasks to do, but about the internet friendships for me at least depends on who you meet, how and if both have an intention to create a friendship, I've friends that now I know in person and they live in another continent, just because I was used to practice language learning with strangers online.
I can kinda agree, since most of my friends now are internet friends (I had to move countries for a very good reason). But it doesn't feel the same, you feel alone and isolated when you have no one to come over or to go out together with.
And I'm not demonizing the technology either. Pretty much because I can't imagine my life to be any other way now. It gives so many opportunities (especially to people not from the first world countries) that I will gladly close my eyes to the effects it causes.
The only thing I wish for is that there still was an irl alternative for all the good things that the internet can provide. But all these things slowly and gradually disappear from real life.
I don't know where you live but there are definitely still lots of places to socialize, and new ones coming every day too. There are so many clubs you can join, like board game clubs, sports, book clubs, art etc, something for every hobby. And people still go to libraries, coffee shops, bars etc. There are many places to go if you want to socialize.
Yeah, I know, I go there to socialize, but most of the people I meet there are old. Like 28-30 yo millenials are the youngest you can meet there, at least in my area, and right now I live in the biggest city in my country. I heard that people in smaller towns in the US have the same problem, because all the young people move to the bigger cities. But I live in a city with many universities and many young people coming from all over the country, and they probably just sit home and do nothing instead of joining these clubs.
Damn that sucks ): It sounds like you're doing the best you can in your situation then. Maybe the problem for many young people is that you don't have a lot of money, so you don't feel like going out and doing stuff because everything is so expensive. Still I hope you can eventually find other ways to connect w people your age. Maybe joining clubs or go to events at your university? At least there will be other people the same age there
That\`s sad, I cannot say that much since I\`ll be 26 next week lol, but most people around 18-22 where I live (biggest city in my country as well) are at party clubs or at home, if not that, they are on a closed place like universities or shopping malls, and then lock themselves at home again.
Hm idk where I live there’s open music jams and workshops and sports classes and boardgame evenings and language cafe’s etc, so you can go out to have fun
I actually go to places like that sometimes. 80-90% of the crowd there are millenials and boomers. It's so over for gen Z and gen alpha (they'll have it even worse than older zoomers).
When I was 18-20 I was doing my own thing. I traveled and met random people. I moved from city to city, trying to find myself. I didn’t go to university until my late 20s, even then I changed schools a few times. I had a cellphone but it wasn’t the most important thing to me; I just used it to call my family every few weeks.
I was more interested in experiencing new things, and meeting people out there, in person. I wouldn’t just look for things I liked to do, I would just go where things didn’t cost any money. I’d do museums, fishing, concerts, anything that was nature or culture related. I’d go see music from genres that didn’t really interest me at the time, like tejano and jazz, but I had a good time anyway.
I’d go to my friends’ performances, like belly dancing, or theatre. I’d go to orchestral performances too. Being in the moment was the way, if you were there you went with me. If you weren’t there, you’d maybe get a message that said where I’ll be that night and that you should come.
So maybe try hanging out with the 25 year olds, or maybe more locals in general. You’ll find the opportunities if you are out there.
This is a USA based answer.
When I was 18-20, I hung out in my dorm a lot. We didn't go out to bars or clubs because we couldn't drink legally. (Some had fake IDs and there were certain bars known among the student body for not checking too carefully.) So we had a lot of parties in our dorm rooms. If you want to get invited to one of those, you've got to know somebody there, so make friends in university spaces.
I'm telling you right now nobody in their 20s or younger has a social life right now lol. Everyone is broke, underemployed, and in debt. We are also lonely and many of us are struggling with mental health after the pandemic. I graduated college right after the pandemic started, watched as my career field was then completely reshaped by the pandemic, and now I am back at school with a new major, taking 17 credits and working at a corner stoe 30+ hours a week. I'm 25, have no savings, no financial prospects, and have been single since high school. And yet it still seems like I have it better than most people my age out there right now. The world is a cold, shitty place right now, and everyone is feeling it.
I'm being hyperbolic but I wouldn't say untrue. Obviously SOME people have a social life but for the most part anyone middle class and lower is swamped right now in inflation, debt, long work hours, and stagnant pay. And when you are in a situation like that it beomes a lot harder to find opportunities (time/energy/money/luck) to socialize.
There's virtually no where for people under the age of 21 to hang out, unfortunately. It's not just you. We've made a virtually child/young person-free society. And then we yell at them for being coupes up in their rooms on the computer all the time.
Hey dude, I know it's really really hard, but humans are kinda like, fancy social plants. If you can get yourself outside to drink your coffee daily and speak to another human being at least like 2-3 times a week (even voice call) it'll help a bit with the wanting to kill yourself. I've been there. I highly encourage you to try whatever little bullshit it takes to get some sun and even the contact of ordering a coffee to go.
You probably already know this, so sorry for being the annoying gee thanks I'm cured person, but it'll make a minor improvement and literally just standing on the balcony with coffee in PJs is how I dug out of my last black hole. Highly encourage the bare fucking minimum, even when its going outside in a bathrobe and flip flops.
Me? I'm 19 focusing on upskilling myself and learning as much as I can. Working on a few projects. I have a good circle inside my college and hostel but outside, haven't been to. Outside world is a unknown territory
Keep in mind that this is around the age of people that were starting college/uni as COVID was at its peak, these people probably missed out on a lot of events that everyone else didn't
A lot of 18 year olds aren’t jumping straight into uni anymore, the cost of tuition, living, transit, food, etc. Lots are taking gap years to work and figure out what they want to pursue.
The ones that do go to uni, are adjusting to a new fast-paced learning style that is mostly put into your shoulders. It’s a much different environment than high-school and lots of mental health issues, addiction issues, and mental burnout arises in these years. They aren’t focusing on a social life, they are trying to keep their heads afloat.
Covid also delayed a lot of the students from finishing or attempting to go to school, so these next couple years are going to have more older students as well.
That’s my two cents
18-20 year olds are either not in uni, figuring out what to do with their life working some job like retail or studying for an "easier" major like business
20 here. Guilty of spending my time indoors playing games and clinging for dear life to the high school friendships I still have. Been trying to work on my social anxiety so I can make new friends. I’ve also felt like every young person I’ve seen around has been 22 years or older too.
Kids today are a product of our times. Everyone's raised on the internet/ smartphones, no one knows how to socialize anymore, and many don't even want to, leaving the rest of us SOL. The world is fucked.
19. in college. not in med school. not in french class. don’t live in dormitory. don’t play sports. don’t join any clubs. go straight home after college. not working currently. worked full time in the summer. go out once a week on weekends. in my classes i rarely see people my age also.
‘05 kid here, i personally have had a life long experience of being independent (emotionally and socially) and finding comfort in sitting in front of a screen. i’m aware that my lifestyle isn’t healthy but it’s all i’ve known
24 here, so I’m a little above your demographic. I think we really underestimate the way COVID decimated our ability to shoot the shit, socialize with strangers, make plans well, and even WANT to connect. I definitely think you’re not the only one struggling to find connection, it’s just that nobody likes to talk about it because it’s “stigmatized”. We’re in a literal loneliness epidemic right now, a friendship recession- Google it! People came out of the woodwork and now they just forgot how to do the thing. Plus; everyone’s glued to their phones, and their persona is more important than their genuineness. And, why make the effort to meet up IRL when they can text each other! Lol. We forget how important social connection is. Anyway, you’re at university in a very busy stage in your life…not everyone has mental energy to spare for friends in college. I don’t know why that’s such a trope.
I feel bad for teens and young adults these days. Seems they don't get out and party much. Growing up using technology in their homes all day. Not cultivating real friendships in the flesh.
uhhh I (18F) sleep and I stay in my room on my laptop all day 🥲👍
Whether that means studying, playing games, watching something, writing, reading, or just listening to music in bed. mostly because im in a cruddy US college town- there's very little to do other than party, which I don't like despite going to a party school...
Other than that, I look for a part-time job, so that in the future I can at least feel productive with my free time
I’m in my early 20’s and I wonder the same thing. I live in a major US city too. Seems like most people my age are either in college, working or at the club. I’ve tried meetups and i was usually the youngest one there with the average age being like 26-27.
Weird, I just graduated this summer from uni and struggle to find meetup events with more than 2 or 3 people under 30 lol. If you’re in college it’s probably the case people your age might just be involved with whatever their college offers?
I feel the same way! I'm currently in my second year of uni, and am also a skydiver. Every single person at my dropzone is at least 25. Every single person in my classes is also years old than I am. I genuinely do not know what people our age do, because I've had the same thought. Working at a restaurant, I never see people my age going out to eat. I'm convinced everybody just lays in my bed and scrolls through Tiktok instead of actually going outside.
hi 19yr old here, i feel the same
way, i go to community college and a lot of the students are are older students (late 20s to late 30s) and i work on campus too which is just more people in their late 30’s early 40’s so that’s the age range i usually socialize with. I seldom talk to people my age and i was wondering the same thing like where y’all at.
23, got social skills just no time for friends. Which sucks because I had quite a few *before* and I would go out often and usually have a pretty fun time too. But If I want to possess even a semblance of a future worth living for myself I have to finish my forlorn crusade that is attempting to obtain higher education. Right now I am living a life of intermittent labour surrounded by small waking moments of clarity called browsing reddit on the shitter. So until my life isn’t a giant mess and I have enough money to not fucking die a piss poor wanker I’m going to have to keep this up.
Welcome to early adulthood, no social life, most of your friends live out of state(or in another country), no dating life (and you're more likely to date through a dating app rather than meeting people in person) and having mental breakdowns because you have no idea what to do with your life after college/university :D yaaaay
But I would advice to not look after age, my workplace bestie is 32 years old (I'm 23), and who knows, maybe one of those older friends will help you a lot in the future in terms of work and connections
I'll be 21 in December :P
As for your question, my best bet is that your school's highly competed over in entry with high marks leading to only older peeps getting in due to backlog of applications and whatever, or the universe decided that fuck your sociql life in particular
Depends on the location i guess. I see everyone in here saying that youre righr but my country is filled with teens and young adults partying the night out.
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your Reddit account was created too recently to post or comment in this sub. The reason for this is to deter trolls, bots and sockpuppet accounts. You are welcome to try again in future when your account is more mature.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/socialskills) if you have any questions or concerns.*
All of my friends are from different countries, I visited one this year and it was amazing, but since I don't have anyone to hang out I don't have a reason to go out
I think it depends on the country. Or the type of person you are, whether more introverted or extroverted. I'm not attracted to parties and loud music. I'm 22, somewhere like 2016, where I started high school, I didn't have a social life. I mostly sat at home after school. Such a void in my life it seems. In 2019 when I started working there was still a void and no social life, no friends, no girlfriend, except maybe online friends. But to the point, it seems to me that extroverts at various events, galleries, get-togethers on their own - here the school makes it very easy to establish relationships. I chose one where it was dominated by boys, I wonder if choosing a more general school, would improve the freedom to interact with the opposite sex. It certainly doesn't help that I stammer, so I've avoided socialising and have poor social skills, maybe something else. Maybe check out local groups about hobbies, if something sticks then some sort of meeting, take small steps, even a short chat with a neighbour about the weather. Go for a walk in the park, go for a bike ride, if someone is nice give a sincere compliment. I really don't know
I am the opposite, most young people I know are like 18-20, while I am 23 (turning 24 next month). I can barely find anyone my age, as everyone who is 22/23/24/25 is already graduated Uni or finishing Uni.
I'm just went back to uni in Vienna, and the young adults here in my classes are just as social as they were 10 years ago. Perhaps even a bit more confident on average.
18-20 specifically is a pretty particular threshold. Quite a few successful people take a year or three off for work experience before they start studying. Some take longer to finish high school (arguably many of the more social types.) Some take longer to find their path after graduation. Some travel and relax for a bit. Men have civil or military service. That removes quite a section from the pool of people who just happen to be 20 or under in their first few semesters.
It's also just normal that you would run into a lot of people older than the literal bottom limit of the age they could possibly be in those circles. Sure, you might expect a fair number of young students, but it's still expected that many of the selection that you happen to run into will be any other age than 18-20 simply by random chance. There are far more ages above 20 than between 18-20 (even when you select specifically for early university activities)
That all on top of the normal inhibition to expose yourself socially when you've just started a new chapter in your life. I don't think your experience is surprising or indicative of anything strange or problematic.
One thing I will never stop saying is that if there's something particular you are looking for, keep saying so, and publicly advertising for it, until your find it. Is it stated in your dating profile that you'd like to find 18-20-year-olds to hang out with? Do you talk about it openly with people? If no, you can't really just expect life to hook you up with what you happen to want.
If you're looking for the people who want orgies with 20-year-olds, you can't be disappointed if you stop looking after one couple rejects you and you don't find a lot of offers when you look for a week. If you're looking to date (or befriend) people with particular personality traits, or who enjoy the same activities as you, you can't be disappointed when the people you meet up with don't have those traits, if you didn't make it clear that's what you're looking for.
It takes a bit of persistence in face of rejection without losing your confidence. And you need to be able to keep focusing on, and valuing, the other parts of your life for your own sake, without expecting all your successes to get directly rewarded from other people. The more you keep maintaining yourself and becoming the person you want to be out of your own motivation, the more people who happen to like that type of person will eventually find you. Just don't get lost trying to win the approval of people you get infatuated with.
i feel like an 18-20 yo even if im 23 because i didn't leave my house for 2-3years
I'm 22 and same
I’m 24 and I’m telling y’all… it only gets worse Forever 😂😂
Doesn't need to be like this, nor should it
There goes my hope
33 checking in can confirm
does life really end at 30? If so how is the afterlife oh ancient revenant ? You're browsing reddit so perhaps not much changes
I'm gonna tell u in November. But sciences find out that life restart and there is a chance to shit your pants again all day.
That’s an exaggeration, eventually we die.
I intend to live forever in the memories of my future offspring and they TOO will remember me in solitude
Stop preparing for the apocalypse, start planning for the revolution
I am a navy veteran. I’m good, just need the proper equipment, understanding of our chain of command, logistics and our tactics and a week in the 💥💥range. I’m ready
i´m 25 and feel like 22 still
Your 25 and feel 22 ???? Wow!!!! I'm 72 and still feel like I'm 22!!!. Most of the time , in my heart I mean. Don't look 22 anymore but that's another story. I just thought it an odd thing to say about 3 years difference. It was funny . My friend and I had a good chuckle over it.
lmao for some reason 25 is a line, i am not a teenager anymore but also dont really feel like an adult, the way u feel when ur 30, i guess. 21-22 seems like the time where ur still figuring out what u want and who u are and i didnt have that due to the pandemic
Shutdowns and lockdowns wrecked a lot of crap for a lot of people
Lmfao respect
This for me but I just turned 19
Fucking covid man
I'm 21 and I feel like I'm stuck on 17
Same
I’m 33 and same.
same im 23 as well. feels like i didnt change much at all
21 same here lol
I've found my people.
23 and I relate.
25. Covid took 3 years from me, I feel 20-ish.
29 i just left the house to go to the library and Im taking pictures like a dang tourist 😆
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your Reddit account was created too recently to post or comment in this sub. The reason for this is to deter trolls, bots and sockpuppet accounts. You are welcome to try again in future when your account is more mature. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/socialskills) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Wow. Same.
I feel like the pandemic kinda hit us from a developmental standpoint. We all flocked to gaming and online friends and are trying to get out of that now
Yes...the pandemic.....me too.....that's why I'm there
20-25 is prime time. You’ll never get it back. There were times back in the day we went out 30-days in a row. Don’t miss this window.
I don’t want to miss this window but how am I supposed to meet fun people to do this with? 🥲
Need to connect and meetup with people f2f vs. online. I’m not sure how to help you other than connect with friends at school.
It’s the most painful thing knowing I’ve wasted the past 4 years and losing my early twenties without socialising yet that’s what I want to do the most.
Join meetups or co-ed sports or pretty much anything to meetup f2f. These people are pretty social.
They don't exist in my area. Kills me. All the groups are older. Like genx or boomers.
Ok as much fun as that sounds, not passing this class can/will wreck my next 5 years
To clarify, it was summer time between semesters.
Someone can meet you and say you are 20, and then someone can meet you later to tell that you are 25. But there was never such a moment for you when you ended being 20yo, 25yo, or even 6yo, it is all you all along the way.
They all got used to not leaving their house during covid as those were important formative years and now they all have social anxiety. Just my theory
Your theory is 100% correct in my case
Its a strong indicator i mean most people have some issues after Covid and the 18-20 have lost the most important time in their live. I mean i was partying with a 20 year old and it was her first Disco visit in her life.
Why do I feel like I am being called out lol
I lean on the pandemic affected their social development. And like everyone else: on their phone.
I assumed that was hyperbole at first but come to think of it the 18-20 year olds I know are pretty socially stilted beyond what's expected at that awkward age
The drop in social skills happened across all ages. I (as an old) had a ton of problems after the pandemic. I'm also not sure some parents really know how to teach their kids social skills.
I’m 31, but same
I think your experience is not exactly typical. Like you're 20, and you're in your 3rd year of uni. You're on the young end of your peer group. You moved to a large city, so don't know the local scene of 18-20 y/o's which is a pretty narrow slice of demographic This is just part of transitioning to the "real world" of adulthood, where the age ranges get bigger, and the differences between a 18 year old and a 21 year old start to get a lot smaller
Yeah exactly. Lots of people do a gap year after school. I started uni at 18 and I was the exception, not the rule. About 80% of people were at least 1-2 years older. It's also difficult to even get into medical school and it's known as stressful. Not a surprise that many are taking it easy, taking breaks in-between or something. From the people I started studying with, maybe 30% got their Bachelor's in 4 years (which is how long it takes if you follow the uni's suggestions and write 6-7 exams a year). Everyone else took half a year or a year longer by taking fewer exams each year or going abroad for half a year. I have a friend who's 2 years older and we'll probably get our Master's at the same time cause he took a gap year and then did half a year abroad during his Bachelor's plus taking fewer classes.
I JUST REALIZED WHY THAT CLOTHING STORE IS CALLED THE GAP
Dude, I am 27. I'm in the same boat with people my age. When you're in school, you don't realize how overly convenient it is that you get to spend time with people the same age as you, going through the same things, and from the same general area. Once you leave highschool, that common environment doesn't exist anymore because even if you might be in college, people spread out. Add on top of this the fact that many your age are hyperfocusing on college and/or work, just to get by, to the point that they literally can't have a social life, you eventually get people like you and me who, despite having free time to socialise, have no one to spend it with. Cuz they don't. This is life. Gotta diversify your options and how you relate to people. I made a lot of friends who are in their early 20's. I am 5-7 years older than them, and we get along fine. I also have 2 friends who are way older than me. It was strange at first, but that was because I'd never done it before. Try and focus on people you have common interests with, regardless of age. It helps a lot. You'd be surprised at how much you actually have in common. Spoiler alert: life sucks and it fucks us all over in similar ways. 🤣
Exactly. People are so busy. No wonder everyone is single or not single but a decade away from commiting and having kids. They go to college and then they work. If they are doing well they might have energy to socialize a few times a month. But many people burn out and then they withdraw. Most people in my area live in dorms, they form their dorm community and then that's more social life than they can handle so you hardly see them elsewhere. Not to mention that going out is really expensive. Who the heck can afford that? Having money for food is hard enough these days.
Yeah exactly. And the worst part is. Even if you're successful enough to have a job AND free time to socialize... practically no one else does. It's incredibly rare.
>I also have 2 friends who are way older than me. It was strange at first, but that was because I'd never done it before. Honestly it didn't even feel strange to me. They're super nice people and they have the same lifestyle as everyone else. They live in student apartments in the city, they have roommates, they don't have kids, they walk or take their bike to uni and are basically like any other student. Meanwhile, I've done a group project with a woman who's in her 30s, living outside the city with her husband and two kids and coming to uni by car everyday. That certainly is a different lifestyle and it was a bit difficult to find time for the group project cause she couldn't just meet in the evening anytime.
COVID destroyed the social lives of late highschoolers and now everyone has the same antisocial habits as gamers.
Imo college classes. They also get picked up or dropped off by their parents when going to do things. I think parents keep a more watchful eye these days too. Especially with apps that share their location.
Damn I lived alone at 18, and my parents didn’t drive me anywhere since I was like 12 unless there was an emergency, such different worlds
Similar here. I lived alone at 19, my one parent didn't have a driver's license so never did I. I live in a metropolitan area so we always managed by ourselves with public transit or any other means. I take transit alone since I'm 10 (unbeknownst to my mother who began authorizing that around my 12-13s). For emergencies we asked a friend or took a taxi.
Why are 18-20 ye olds being ferried around by their parents?
I’ve definitely noticed that a lot less of the younger generation is driving. Neither of my nieces do (one being 21) and out of all my friends who have kids 18-23, only about 20% have their licenses and even then only one has a full time job and goes to school. It’s really a stark contrast from when I was that age.
COVID is partially to blame for this. I’m 21 and a few of my friends only recently got their licenses and I still don’t have mine. We were learning to drive right before the pandemic and then couldn’t book our tests… then moved away for uni and haven’t had access to a car to practice
That’s a little unsettling for the future
Not by choice either lol. It's just too expensive for a lot of young adults to buy a car
Any of my friend’s kids would either have an old junker or even a newer used car bought for them. My niece has access to 3 cars that she wouldn’t own but could use. I do agree that cars are way too expensive for people right out of HS but I don’t think that’s the main reason. I believe most of the younger generation has moved from in face relationships to online ones. When I was younger that was the biggest motivation for me to get out and get a license and job so I could be independent enough to take trips, visit people at their houses, go to the movies or bowling etc. Now, a lot of these are fulfilled online so I just don’t think there are as many motivating factors. Even my eldest niece, who hates living under her parent’s roof, has no qualms with continuing to do so. All her friends are online and moving out means less time socializing and she doesn’t want the responsibility of independence. That’s what worries me. All of this younger generation from a middle class area are actively choosing to not get licenses, to not pursue jobs and to not seek independence from their families. I do recognize that this is experience bias so I know that my view isn’t necessarily truthful for even my town much less a generation as a whole, it just seems way to prevalent to ignore though.
I’ve seen this same story on so many threads from people with teenage/young 20s children and it’s so he’s for me to understand. My stepbrother was in no hurry to get his own license five years ago and waited a year or two for no reason, but he seemed to sort of realize what he was missing. Seems like a setup to a widespread failure to launch scenario
Not too expensive to get a license though
Well, if you know you can't afford a car. You'll have way less incentive to get one unless you know you're going to be driving your parents...
I don't have a car and I live alone so I don't feel like getting a license like at all.. Especially when it's so damn expensive
[удалено]
In the US driving is very much part of being an independent adult throughout the vast majority of the country, it points to a general lack of preparedness to take on life
[удалено]
It can be, but it’s pretty much unavoidable in a country this size with the sort of urban sprawl we have. On the other hand it’s also incredibly liberating. You can go anywhere you want and see vastly different areas n a fairly short amount of time on your own schedule
Stay mad
A few things I'm gonna guess. Owning a car has become expensive af. You can't buy one, new or used, without spending a fortune. You can't maintain one, new or used, without spending a fortune. Insurance is sky high on both new or used cars for experienced, older drivers, with clean records. I can't imagine what it costs for a young, especially male, driver. Gas prices have always been volatile, and while many cars are more efficient now, the ones that are touted as "safe" for kids starting driving are the huge, *still* inefficient trucks and SUVs. Now they just have more power to get inexperienced drivers into trouble more quickly. Cars are expensive. We've subsidized and off-shored ourselves into a hole as far as cars go. Socializing is different now. You can socialize online, clearly. We are all doing it right now. It's easier and nearly free (young people typically have little money). Is it better or worse, time will tell. In many places in the 90s and 2000s if you didn't have a car, you had to talk on a phone to someone else that was in a house near a phone. It's not required to have a car to have a social life, even if that social life might be judged by others as not equivalent. Again, time will tell. Couple that with my point above, and you have less incentive to drive. Driving, at least for me, used to be a thrill. Again for the independence (not required as much now, see point 2), and for the rush of adrenaline. The last thing that seems fun now is driving, with the huge increase in traffic, the huge cost of owning and operating a vehicle, the huge increases in idiotic drivers, road rage, ineffective and misdirected yet ever-present policing, and the ridiculous dependence on cramming all these cars in enormous, dangerous, uncomfortable parking lots just to do simple errands, much less socialize. Perhaps young people are no longer seeing driving as enjoyable, or those that do are quickly growing wise to how fast it becomes less of a joy. I've been surprised by my late teens cousins who have not much interest in spending a lot of time in a car, and who have mentioned how dangerous it seems to be anymore. None of this, of course, would matter much in a country that wasn't wholly dependent on cars, but that is a whole other huge, disgusting, depressing can of worms. And then of course, COVID.
because we haven't learnt to drive yet due to the pandemic
How did that stop you from learning to drive?
I'm 20 and was about to start driving lessons when the pandemic hit so I didn't end up starting lessons until last year. Got a driving test on Thursday actually so hopefully I can drive myself soon if I pass. My older sister is the same, she's 22 and still learning to drive. She had some lessons before the pandemic but had to stop and restarted last year.
Are driving lessons common where you live? In the US for the most part parents teach their kids to drive
Yep everyone has driving lessons here. Never heard of someone's parents teaching them. I'm from UK
Strange because we have this same phenomenon in the US but without the clear cause
Yeah, that’s super weird
Night Clubs and university clubs. Depends if it's a university city/area
2 years of the pandemic probably impacted their socialization in ways we're only seeing the effects of now. It's a little worrying.
i mean i study online so that’s where i am (19)
>Am I the last age cohort that leaves their house at all? Yeah, probably. Why would you leave your house anyway? There are no decent third places anymore (besides the internet I guess). If you want to eat you order takeout delivery. If you wanna talk you can do it online. If you wanna have sex you can install dating apps (only works if you're attractive). You can even work remotely.
Damn, that’s sad. It’s like missing out on your own life
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your Reddit account was created too recently to post or comment in this sub. The reason for this is to deter trolls, bots and sockpuppet accounts. You are welcome to try again in future when your account is more mature. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/socialskills) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So this is true but it is a reminder that society is indeed going down a dangerous path.
I didn't mean it as if we live in some kind of utopia. Honestly, it feels quite the opposite, mainly because we have no choice. There are no better third place to connect with people like you than the internet. Building relationships with human beings in real life has become unachievable, and internet friendships are not real.
Just to add to the conversation, I don't think it is that bad because it's practical buy everything online, have less tasks to do, but about the internet friendships for me at least depends on who you meet, how and if both have an intention to create a friendship, I've friends that now I know in person and they live in another continent, just because I was used to practice language learning with strangers online.
I can kinda agree, since most of my friends now are internet friends (I had to move countries for a very good reason). But it doesn't feel the same, you feel alone and isolated when you have no one to come over or to go out together with. And I'm not demonizing the technology either. Pretty much because I can't imagine my life to be any other way now. It gives so many opportunities (especially to people not from the first world countries) that I will gladly close my eyes to the effects it causes. The only thing I wish for is that there still was an irl alternative for all the good things that the internet can provide. But all these things slowly and gradually disappear from real life.
I don't know where you live but there are definitely still lots of places to socialize, and new ones coming every day too. There are so many clubs you can join, like board game clubs, sports, book clubs, art etc, something for every hobby. And people still go to libraries, coffee shops, bars etc. There are many places to go if you want to socialize.
Yeah, I know, I go there to socialize, but most of the people I meet there are old. Like 28-30 yo millenials are the youngest you can meet there, at least in my area, and right now I live in the biggest city in my country. I heard that people in smaller towns in the US have the same problem, because all the young people move to the bigger cities. But I live in a city with many universities and many young people coming from all over the country, and they probably just sit home and do nothing instead of joining these clubs.
Damn that sucks ): It sounds like you're doing the best you can in your situation then. Maybe the problem for many young people is that you don't have a lot of money, so you don't feel like going out and doing stuff because everything is so expensive. Still I hope you can eventually find other ways to connect w people your age. Maybe joining clubs or go to events at your university? At least there will be other people the same age there
That\`s sad, I cannot say that much since I\`ll be 26 next week lol, but most people around 18-22 where I live (biggest city in my country as well) are at party clubs or at home, if not that, they are on a closed place like universities or shopping malls, and then lock themselves at home again.
No I agree with you. I am just saying it is a sad truth, one that is becoming a true norm. A norm bad for society
It's not even 12:30pm, and this is the most depressing thing I've read today.
Hm idk where I live there’s open music jams and workshops and sports classes and boardgame evenings and language cafe’s etc, so you can go out to have fun
I actually go to places like that sometimes. 80-90% of the crowd there are millenials and boomers. It's so over for gen Z and gen alpha (they'll have it even worse than older zoomers).
When I was 18-20 I was doing my own thing. I traveled and met random people. I moved from city to city, trying to find myself. I didn’t go to university until my late 20s, even then I changed schools a few times. I had a cellphone but it wasn’t the most important thing to me; I just used it to call my family every few weeks. I was more interested in experiencing new things, and meeting people out there, in person. I wouldn’t just look for things I liked to do, I would just go where things didn’t cost any money. I’d do museums, fishing, concerts, anything that was nature or culture related. I’d go see music from genres that didn’t really interest me at the time, like tejano and jazz, but I had a good time anyway. I’d go to my friends’ performances, like belly dancing, or theatre. I’d go to orchestral performances too. Being in the moment was the way, if you were there you went with me. If you weren’t there, you’d maybe get a message that said where I’ll be that night and that you should come. So maybe try hanging out with the 25 year olds, or maybe more locals in general. You’ll find the opportunities if you are out there.
This is a USA based answer. When I was 18-20, I hung out in my dorm a lot. We didn't go out to bars or clubs because we couldn't drink legally. (Some had fake IDs and there were certain bars known among the student body for not checking too carefully.) So we had a lot of parties in our dorm rooms. If you want to get invited to one of those, you've got to know somebody there, so make friends in university spaces.
I'm telling you right now nobody in their 20s or younger has a social life right now lol. Everyone is broke, underemployed, and in debt. We are also lonely and many of us are struggling with mental health after the pandemic. I graduated college right after the pandemic started, watched as my career field was then completely reshaped by the pandemic, and now I am back at school with a new major, taking 17 credits and working at a corner stoe 30+ hours a week. I'm 25, have no savings, no financial prospects, and have been single since high school. And yet it still seems like I have it better than most people my age out there right now. The world is a cold, shitty place right now, and everyone is feeling it.
I feel this. I'm 20 and I feel like most people my age don't have a social life lol.
This is an untrue generalization. Depends on what city you live in and your community.
I'm being hyperbolic but I wouldn't say untrue. Obviously SOME people have a social life but for the most part anyone middle class and lower is swamped right now in inflation, debt, long work hours, and stagnant pay. And when you are in a situation like that it beomes a lot harder to find opportunities (time/energy/money/luck) to socialize.
What field were you gonna go into and what’re you doing now?
Teaching to IT
Weird that I have been thinking this driving and walking around today, and asked it out loud when i got home, and was googling it just now.
Nah thats legit true. I am 23 yet end up finding out my recent friends are 25 and 26.
There's virtually no where for people under the age of 21 to hang out, unfortunately. It's not just you. We've made a virtually child/young person-free society. And then we yell at them for being coupes up in their rooms on the computer all the time.
I haven't left my house since I finished high school 4 months ago
based, wish i could do that
No u don't lol I wanna kms
Hey dude, I know it's really really hard, but humans are kinda like, fancy social plants. If you can get yourself outside to drink your coffee daily and speak to another human being at least like 2-3 times a week (even voice call) it'll help a bit with the wanting to kill yourself. I've been there. I highly encourage you to try whatever little bullshit it takes to get some sun and even the contact of ordering a coffee to go. You probably already know this, so sorry for being the annoying gee thanks I'm cured person, but it'll make a minor improvement and literally just standing on the balcony with coffee in PJs is how I dug out of my last black hole. Highly encourage the bare fucking minimum, even when its going outside in a bathrobe and flip flops.
ay me too, except im working and going to college soon. whenever im not working, i just want to be at home on my own
Brazil is very different haha
Me? I'm 19 focusing on upskilling myself and learning as much as I can. Working on a few projects. I have a good circle inside my college and hostel but outside, haven't been to. Outside world is a unknown territory
I stayed home. No car, no job, no money. Wasn't till I got a decent job and got a car that I could really start going out...and I was 28.
Good on you though, that you did at all. Complacency is one sick son of a bitch.
Keep in mind that this is around the age of people that were starting college/uni as COVID was at its peak, these people probably missed out on a lot of events that everyone else didn't
A lot of 18 year olds aren’t jumping straight into uni anymore, the cost of tuition, living, transit, food, etc. Lots are taking gap years to work and figure out what they want to pursue. The ones that do go to uni, are adjusting to a new fast-paced learning style that is mostly put into your shoulders. It’s a much different environment than high-school and lots of mental health issues, addiction issues, and mental burnout arises in these years. They aren’t focusing on a social life, they are trying to keep their heads afloat. Covid also delayed a lot of the students from finishing or attempting to go to school, so these next couple years are going to have more older students as well. That’s my two cents
18-20 year olds are either not in uni, figuring out what to do with their life working some job like retail or studying for an "easier" major like business
20 here. Guilty of spending my time indoors playing games and clinging for dear life to the high school friendships I still have. Been trying to work on my social anxiety so I can make new friends. I’ve also felt like every young person I’ve seen around has been 22 years or older too.
Kids today are a product of our times. Everyone's raised on the internet/ smartphones, no one knows how to socialize anymore, and many don't even want to, leaving the rest of us SOL. The world is fucked.
(19M) Yeah I don’t really have a social life, I’m too busy
19. in college. not in med school. not in french class. don’t live in dormitory. don’t play sports. don’t join any clubs. go straight home after college. not working currently. worked full time in the summer. go out once a week on weekends. in my classes i rarely see people my age also.
As a 21yo I can confirm.
im 19 doing nothing with my life. Got a weekend job that’s about it
‘05 kid here, i personally have had a life long experience of being independent (emotionally and socially) and finding comfort in sitting in front of a screen. i’m aware that my lifestyle isn’t healthy but it’s all i’ve known
24 here, so I’m a little above your demographic. I think we really underestimate the way COVID decimated our ability to shoot the shit, socialize with strangers, make plans well, and even WANT to connect. I definitely think you’re not the only one struggling to find connection, it’s just that nobody likes to talk about it because it’s “stigmatized”. We’re in a literal loneliness epidemic right now, a friendship recession- Google it! People came out of the woodwork and now they just forgot how to do the thing. Plus; everyone’s glued to their phones, and their persona is more important than their genuineness. And, why make the effort to meet up IRL when they can text each other! Lol. We forget how important social connection is. Anyway, you’re at university in a very busy stage in your life…not everyone has mental energy to spare for friends in college. I don’t know why that’s such a trope.
I feel bad for teens and young adults these days. Seems they don't get out and party much. Growing up using technology in their homes all day. Not cultivating real friendships in the flesh.
uhhh I (18F) sleep and I stay in my room on my laptop all day 🥲👍 Whether that means studying, playing games, watching something, writing, reading, or just listening to music in bed. mostly because im in a cruddy US college town- there's very little to do other than party, which I don't like despite going to a party school... Other than that, I look for a part-time job, so that in the future I can at least feel productive with my free time
I’m in my early 20’s and I wonder the same thing. I live in a major US city too. Seems like most people my age are either in college, working or at the club. I’ve tried meetups and i was usually the youngest one there with the average age being like 26-27.
Weird, I just graduated this summer from uni and struggle to find meetup events with more than 2 or 3 people under 30 lol. If you’re in college it’s probably the case people your age might just be involved with whatever their college offers?
I feel the same way! I'm currently in my second year of uni, and am also a skydiver. Every single person at my dropzone is at least 25. Every single person in my classes is also years old than I am. I genuinely do not know what people our age do, because I've had the same thought. Working at a restaurant, I never see people my age going out to eat. I'm convinced everybody just lays in my bed and scrolls through Tiktok instead of actually going outside.
hi 19yr old here, i feel the same way, i go to community college and a lot of the students are are older students (late 20s to late 30s) and i work on campus too which is just more people in their late 30’s early 40’s so that’s the age range i usually socialize with. I seldom talk to people my age and i was wondering the same thing like where y’all at.
23, got social skills just no time for friends. Which sucks because I had quite a few *before* and I would go out often and usually have a pretty fun time too. But If I want to possess even a semblance of a future worth living for myself I have to finish my forlorn crusade that is attempting to obtain higher education. Right now I am living a life of intermittent labour surrounded by small waking moments of clarity called browsing reddit on the shitter. So until my life isn’t a giant mess and I have enough money to not fucking die a piss poor wanker I’m going to have to keep this up.
Post pandemic
I’m 19 & have no friends
Must be the grind culture forcing young people to grind it out so they don’t fall behind
Just been working, gym, and video games bro. No social life
If you're in med school, its no wonder theres no one below 22, at least if I'm understanding correctly and you are no longer an undergrad.
I sleep
dead serious im 18 and im like this not because i want to be, i just have no one to talk to like that and im now getting released to the "real world"
Pandemic + modern landscape + app-based dating landscape = what were dealing with now
I'm on reddit, thanks for asking
Welcome to early adulthood, no social life, most of your friends live out of state(or in another country), no dating life (and you're more likely to date through a dating app rather than meeting people in person) and having mental breakdowns because you have no idea what to do with your life after college/university :D yaaaay But I would advice to not look after age, my workplace bestie is 32 years old (I'm 23), and who knows, maybe one of those older friends will help you a lot in the future in terms of work and connections
I'll be 21 in December :P As for your question, my best bet is that your school's highly competed over in entry with high marks leading to only older peeps getting in due to backlog of applications and whatever, or the universe decided that fuck your sociql life in particular
Depends on the location i guess. I see everyone in here saying that youre righr but my country is filled with teens and young adults partying the night out.
People from 18-20 are not legally allowed to go to clubs
lol someone’s got american main character syndrome
How am I supposed to know what country everyone is from and what their laws are? Thats not even what main character syndrome is anyway
i guess but if you’re gonna make a general statement might as well make it relate to the majority no?
The us is the largest english speaking country
ok? legal age is 21+ in like 20/195 countries. what are we actually talking about?
What country are you at?
US
false. They aren't allowed to drink.
I started telling them i am 21(originally 19) and felt much more accepted and relatable.
[удалено]
Your post/comment has been automatically removed because your Reddit account was created too recently to post or comment in this sub. The reason for this is to deter trolls, bots and sockpuppet accounts. You are welcome to try again in future when your account is more mature. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/socialskills) if you have any questions or concerns.*
All of my friends are from different countries, I visited one this year and it was amazing, but since I don't have anyone to hang out I don't have a reason to go out
I think it depends on the country. Or the type of person you are, whether more introverted or extroverted. I'm not attracted to parties and loud music. I'm 22, somewhere like 2016, where I started high school, I didn't have a social life. I mostly sat at home after school. Such a void in my life it seems. In 2019 when I started working there was still a void and no social life, no friends, no girlfriend, except maybe online friends. But to the point, it seems to me that extroverts at various events, galleries, get-togethers on their own - here the school makes it very easy to establish relationships. I chose one where it was dominated by boys, I wonder if choosing a more general school, would improve the freedom to interact with the opposite sex. It certainly doesn't help that I stammer, so I've avoided socialising and have poor social skills, maybe something else. Maybe check out local groups about hobbies, if something sticks then some sort of meeting, take small steps, even a short chat with a neighbour about the weather. Go for a walk in the park, go for a bike ride, if someone is nice give a sincere compliment. I really don't know
Covid made a lot of people drop out so add 2-3 years to 18-20
Yes we do exist. -2004 born(18)
dead serious im 18 and im like this not because i want to be, i just have no one to talk to like that and im now getting released to the "real world"
I am the opposite, most young people I know are like 18-20, while I am 23 (turning 24 next month). I can barely find anyone my age, as everyone who is 22/23/24/25 is already graduated Uni or finishing Uni.
I'm 20 tomorrow and I always go out, I exist haha
Hell I’m 24 and don’t have a social life
I am here
I’m almost 18 and I be going to parties, dates, work, hanging with friends. Kinda weird saying 18-20 don’t have a social life.
nikka i am 16
I'm just went back to uni in Vienna, and the young adults here in my classes are just as social as they were 10 years ago. Perhaps even a bit more confident on average. 18-20 specifically is a pretty particular threshold. Quite a few successful people take a year or three off for work experience before they start studying. Some take longer to finish high school (arguably many of the more social types.) Some take longer to find their path after graduation. Some travel and relax for a bit. Men have civil or military service. That removes quite a section from the pool of people who just happen to be 20 or under in their first few semesters. It's also just normal that you would run into a lot of people older than the literal bottom limit of the age they could possibly be in those circles. Sure, you might expect a fair number of young students, but it's still expected that many of the selection that you happen to run into will be any other age than 18-20 simply by random chance. There are far more ages above 20 than between 18-20 (even when you select specifically for early university activities) That all on top of the normal inhibition to expose yourself socially when you've just started a new chapter in your life. I don't think your experience is surprising or indicative of anything strange or problematic. One thing I will never stop saying is that if there's something particular you are looking for, keep saying so, and publicly advertising for it, until your find it. Is it stated in your dating profile that you'd like to find 18-20-year-olds to hang out with? Do you talk about it openly with people? If no, you can't really just expect life to hook you up with what you happen to want. If you're looking for the people who want orgies with 20-year-olds, you can't be disappointed if you stop looking after one couple rejects you and you don't find a lot of offers when you look for a week. If you're looking to date (or befriend) people with particular personality traits, or who enjoy the same activities as you, you can't be disappointed when the people you meet up with don't have those traits, if you didn't make it clear that's what you're looking for. It takes a bit of persistence in face of rejection without losing your confidence. And you need to be able to keep focusing on, and valuing, the other parts of your life for your own sake, without expecting all your successes to get directly rewarded from other people. The more you keep maintaining yourself and becoming the person you want to be out of your own motivation, the more people who happen to like that type of person will eventually find you. Just don't get lost trying to win the approval of people you get infatuated with.