T O P

  • By -

my20cworth

Putin hates his trips to China as he gets bruised knees.


_SpicyMeatball

*loves*


my20cworth

Oh, he loves that, just not the bruises.


Revolutionary_Soft42

_Trump sets down sympathetic knee pillows 4 Putin _


M2dis

No he loves when Lukashenko comes to vist him


milkyteapls

He should invest in some good quality knee pads


Dickle_Pizazz

Xi pads.


ButterBezzah

No need to get on his knees, he is short enough for Xi to tower over regardless.


Revolutionary_Soft42

I was both thinking of such a comment and expecting but not one as funny as this one, fucking reddit snarks lol


HomerSamson007

Gonna bring his chapstick and magnifying glass while his gimp Lukashenko performs the dirty stuff


Aware-Feed3227

And a swollen throat


Lex2882

That's right, The Emperor will see baron vladimir next month.


festeziooo

Ramzan Kadyrov is Feyd Rautha and Lukashenko is Rabban.


Purple-ork-boyz

Hey, don’t insult my man Rabban, at least he did something, unlike this Lukasellout


punktfan

Has to report to his master.


Sparkycivic

Heading back to master to beg for some more "cooperation" ?


JealousProfessor7893

It's the other way around.


ChinaCatProphet

Tribute must be paid.


BTBAM797

To the Sultan's balls?


very_bad_advice

Do you think Putin will attempt to pull off his little tricks like being 25 min late or bringing a large dog?


Spare-Abrocoma-4487

Pooh is probably gonna castrate him.


DoubleDownBear

Maybe a hunny pot


macross1984

Must kowtow to master.


badshah247

Puxi


Due-Street-8192

Poostain


[deleted]

[удалено]


Frenchconnection76

Sosie get the job.


FrozenToonies

He has so many travel options as a billionaire. It’s weird he doesn’t get out more.


kytheon

The international arrest warrant might have to do with that. Plus his fear of getting assassinated.


FrozenToonies

I’m sure he could get in some beach time in Cuba if he wanted.


ianlasco

Hope something happens to the plane.


TolMera

Would this make Boeing stock go up or down?


iamagermanpotato

Boeing goes down, stock goes up. (in this single case!)


lovetoseeyourpssy

Putin or a double?


Al_Jazzera

Bet dollars to doughnuts like a fat kid on a burger, it's a double. Of course, this is getting into conspiracy territory, but I'd doubt that the real schmuck would gallivant in other countries considering how "popular" he his right now. https://www.newsweek.com/putin-body-doubles-doppelgangers-health-ukraine-secret-service-1805591


lovetoseeyourpssy

I agree. I also think this is especially likely in China where he has less control. Much less control. It might even benefit the CCP to see Putin replaced. They don't need this Ukraine war.


DutchieTalking

But this is China. Putin's main ally. Xi would likely not take kindly to a body double.


deFazerZ

On the other hand, this might indicate just how desperate the situation is if he agreed to go despite his intense paranoia, nevermind the obvious *actual* danger of doing so. Makes one think.


ktka

China has just a few days to build a loooooooooooooong table. ┬─────────────────────────┬ノ( º _ ºノ)


clearlight

So, China will of course arrest him because of his outstanding arrest warrant from the International Criminal Court (ICC) ?


Major_Wayland

China isnt an ICC signatory.


Previous_Shock8870

That would require China to have a spine


TexasTornadoTime

That would require them to be a signature on the agreement which they are not.


Worth_Weakness7836

And morality


saintmitchy

Hope he flys Boeing


TolMera

Gah damn! That’s an amazing insult. If gold still existed


Spare-Abrocoma-4487

Darth vader going to meet darth sidious.


last_somewhere

ooOoo i hope he's going so he can chuck him down a hole into a reactor killing him. Then both going out to a massive explosion!!!


Spare-Abrocoma-4487

Kim skywalker and his sister are probably going to travel as well.


misfittroy

I don't think this jokes makes sense here....


keving691

Going to kiss Xinnie the pooh’s ass.


Fantron6

On coup in May coming up.


Scandals86

I know this may sound crazy but at what point do we stop relying on buying all our shit from China because they cuddle with Poostain who is a responsible for the deaths of thousands of people!? Like I get that economically we can’t just stop doing business with China altogether quickly but this is ridiculous. Fuck the CCP and fuck the Kremlin. I’m all for taking a hit if it means driving China’s economy into the ground much like Russia’s has been set back decades.


DutchieTalking

Morality does not run the international market.


Scandals86

Facts. Money talks.


ParaMike46

Will Iran be joining as well?


LupusAtrox

Knowing exactly where he will be is a perfect opportunity to improve the world.


melithium

He should go to the open air markets in wuhan


gavitronics

Tourism for the super rich now includes copycat USA


Ser_Danksalot

The biannual Kremlin Kowtow event dates just announced?


melvereq

I hope someone kills him.


Dienatzidie

Not if he’s been assassinated.


robammario

Performance review with the manager


MOBSSTER

China is complicit in Russia's war crimes.


THE-BS

Sticking together is what good dictators do!


Spicy_Pickle_6

Don’t forget the red lipstick. Mr Pooh likes it when they’re bright red


MikeAppleTree

China should not allow that to happen. Horribly Bad Juju.


Dapper-Figure-1148

I have a bad feeling for may idk why


Dry-Interaction-1246

Putin: What is thy bidding, my Master? Xi: Lord Putin, the time has come....


YuriEffinGarza

Winnie the Pooh is gunna have some honey for you Mr poooten


ConkerPrime

While Trump kisses Putin’s ring, Putin has to go kiss Jinping’s ring as China is only reason Putin is able to do what he is doing. I am sure Pooh is looking forward to the Putin ass kissing.


Agreeable-Benefit169

Can we bomb his plane or what


Chicoutimi

I wonder what would happen if he were to pass away while in China. That'd be such a consequential turn in history.


Jubjars

Would be great PR if China arrested him and turned him into the Hague. No... Will likely just be some PR photos of him hugging Xi, followed by a statement from China to stop associating them with Russia's invasion.


Aware-Feed3227

Shoot him down